September 28, 2012 10 Comments
September 27, 2012 18 Comments
- I’ve made my mind up about something and I’m gonna stick to it. If all those other people want to disagree with me, good luck to them. I know what’s best for me.
- I’m not falling for that rubbish.
- Sorry pal, you tried to steal my girlfriend. I’ll have nothing more to do with you
- You called me a cunt in public. Them’s fightin’ words.
- I want to make VP and get the corner office.
- This suit makes me look way cooler than all the other guys round here
- Do I look like James Bond when I stand like this?
September 26, 2012 22 Comments
1. Daygame grants you access to hotter women
There’s a rapidly forming consensus in corners of the manosphere that bars are full of ugly annoying sluts while stunning feminine models frollic gazelle-like across every intersection in the daytime. I do believe you get access to better women when the sun is up but let’s not pretend the streets are dripping in quality pussy. Lots of people dislike nightgame due to the loud music, club entry fees, toxic effects of alcohol and bitchy slags with bad attitudes. There’s lots to like about nightgame but these downsides can tend to make you overly-extoll the virtues of daygame as an escape from the dreaded bars. For nightgame to be truly awful you must make daygame seem truly beautiful, and that’s overstating the case. For example the Daygame.com guys market the dream that you can go out for your daily errands and bump into a dozen models willing to give up their numbers (I exaggerate, sorry Andy). It’s not that simple. Not to knock Daygame – their material is excellent and both Tom and Jon are top quality coaches – but they are invested in building the marketing myth that daygame is a panacea. It’s kinda necessary. Daygaming beautiful women sober is a terrifying experience for most men so you have to draw them in with a very shiny lure.
Reality – High value women do not sleep with low value men, no matter the time of day. In the beginning you will overestimate your success on the streets because many pretty women are surprised at your pseudo-bold approach and generally happy to extend social politeness. As you improve they’ll see you as an interesting diversion from their day and perhaps even a new friend. But to actually get laid you need a whole lot more and that will take most of you years of hard graft to acquire. Ask yourself why even though on any given weekend one of Daygame, Sasha, PUAmethod, Saturday Sarge or god knows how many others will be running a bootcamp on Oxford Street yet there are still hardly any guys out approaching. The attrition rate is horrendous, well over 90% within a few months. That’s because daygame is no easier than nightgame. When you escape the pressures of nightgame you are just trading them for a different set of pressures. Every top London daygamer went through a long hard grind before he got consistent success. Just like every top nightgamer did.
2. Eastern Europe is the promised land
Quite a few guys are ex-patting whether they be whoremongers, love tourists, or international men of mystery. The case for goes like this: Feminism has ruined Western women, turning them into shreiking bitchy fat sluts who massively overvalue themselves. They’ll make your pick-up a joyless grind and are unsuitable for relationships anyway. In contrast EE is untouched by the evil paw of feminism, still with traditional gender roles intact and many genetically gifted women staying slim, working hard on their appearance, and engaging themselves in genuine hobbies with genuine social skills. In it’s delusional game-denying extreme this myth states that “economic disparities” allow any Western man to just show up, flash his passport and instantly commence the gangbanging of supermodels.
Reality - If you can’t get laid in your home country you won’t get laid abroad (the usual “unless you massively lower your standards” exception applies, but anytime I talk about getting laid I always mean with acceptable quality unless otherwise stated). I knocked over four new girls in four weeks in Yugoslavia this summer with probably two more girls to knock over at a later date to make six in total. In terms of quality and quantity its my best performance so far. Robusto did three in the same period and knocked over a fourth in a return sweep-up. Roosh is coy about giving specific numbers but he has written at length about his experiences in the same country. I had broadly similar experiences in Estonia, Lithuania, Latvia, Poland etc. Generally, if I go somewhere for one week and give it a good try I’ll probably get laid once. This seems to be the experience of most decent players who don’t fuck mingers. My success in Europe is only marginally better than in London. If I was to break it into numbers I’d say in any given one hour period I’ll likely see four times as many hot girls in EE and they are generally a point or two hotter but actually getting my dick into them is no easier than London. I’ve got more to shoot at but any given girl is equally difficult to knock over as her London-based compatriot. Which goes back to my answer to myth one – high value women do not sleep with low value men.
3. There is a secret code called Game that, once deployed, will get you girls
Mystery is to blame for this one as he constructed a whole system around suppressing his own childhood trauma by impressing his parents through the proxy of club tarts. Game became a secret system, some kind of Da Vinci Code. Depending on your awareness and budget you can pay a major commercial outfit a thousand notes to attend a mind-blowing reality-shaking pussy-pounding bootcamp, you can self-medicate through the free advice of the manosphere, or perhaps sign into a major forum and take your chances with the blind keyboard jockeys leading the blind lurkers. Whichever route you choose you are peeling back the curtain to view forbidden knowledge and uncover the Blueprint, the algorithms that govern attraction, mastery over which will grant unlimited access to fresh pussy.
Reality – The world really does operate according to barely-understood and rarely-expressed rules that most people are privy only to a small glimpse of. Much of the manosphere is dedicated to excavating these rules, discussing them in a bloggers version of peer review, until a concept is well formed. See the recent discussions on solipsism. However social science is not mathematics, nor even physics. People are reflexive creatures with considerable distribution across many different scales. A deterministic algorithm (such as Mystery Method, or in its most laughable nerd-state Get The Girl) will not get the girl. It’s just a map. There is no secret code that inverts the primary rule of Game that high value women do not sleep with low value men. Knowledge is not execution. In theory there’s no difference between theory and practice. In practice there usually is.
I’m rather labouring the point here but I suspect most Game myths come from the wishful thinking that there is a shortcut (or “hack”, god I hate that word when applied to the social world) that allows men to circumvent the normal quality control that beautiful high-esteem women employ. When low value PUAs fail to fuck beautiful women, that is an example of the sexual marketplace functioning correctly. Women are designed to weed out the losers upon pain of beta-pregnancy. Much of what comes under the technical advice of Game could be broken down into the following:
Neutralisation of anti-game, i.e. how not to fuck up and cripple your own value
Deprograming of feminised thought and behaviour patterns that men develop when captured by the feminine imperative
Simple rote-learnable examples of things to say and do that help put concepts into practical steps
A focus on approaching, and how to psych yourself up to do so
None of this is magic. You still need the value.
September 25, 2012 46 Comments
A key element of Deep Conversion is what I call cheerful misogyny. This is essentially a paternalistic empathetic attitude towards women in which you recognise their relative strengths and weaknesses and do not pander. To achieve cheerful misogyny you must unapologetically believe men are better than women at certain things, so you can then be dismissive of those women who try their hand where they don’t belong. Mostly this involves deprogramming your forebrain. So with that in mind, here is my deprogramming suggestion on the topic of women in the workplace.
Feminists have made much of alleged patriarchal dominance in the workplace. Roughly summarised they claim women have been excluded from the workplace and public office so that men can keep all the benefits of money, status and power to themselves. This has been achieved by outright exclusion (working men’s clubs, Old Boy network, discriminatory hiring practices), social engineering (denying women suitable education to compete for these positions) and cultural disapproval (pushing traditional gender roles as desirable). One criticism that makes feminists feel really clever, like they are unearthing some hidden deep conspiracy, is that the workplace and public sphere have been masculinised and designed in ways that promote men’s interests at the expense of women’s.
The more crazy feminists (i.e. those tweeting from nests feathered by university money) have claimed logic and scientific knowledge are themselves sexist because they discriminated against women’s ways of knowing. Essentially that fact-based decision making is sexist because it undermines women’s intuitiveness. These crazies are at the extreme.
I’d like to submit an alternative explanation for the traditional male dominance of the public sphere. Men are better at getting things done.
Men deal with the world directly. Nature is red in tooth and claw, unforgiving and uncaring, so to scrape a living men must understand reality and the rules by which it operates. This means reading skies to forecast rains, tracking animal spoor, fashioning tools…. all the way to the ultimate abstraction of physics and back again with engineering tools and structures to claim control over the environment. Men’s deep-seated interest in how things work and their drive to master their environment leads them to social behaviours such as nerdiness and to life-choices such as studying maths, science and engineering which allow them to harness these nature-oriented drives. Men are producers.
Women deal with the world indirectly, through men. They live inside the protective bubble of men and thus gravitate towards the private sphere of the home and the knitting circle. Mostly they are recipients of men’s provisioning and thus take little interest in that part of the outside world where human meets nature – the coal face of men’s struggle against the elements. Their attention is caught only when their results of male provisioning are mismatched or inadequate to their needs, then they wish something to be done onto the world through the agency of men. “Can you put up those shelves, please?” Women’s deep-seated interest in how people work and their drive to manipulate channels of provisioning leads them to social behaviours such as solipsism and to life-choices such as studying psychology, marketing and human resources which allow them to harness these people-oriented drives. Women are consumers.
Thus are the natural abilties and inclinations of men and women. So let’s consider what the public sphere actually entails. The workplace is the location in which people are assembled together to complete a range of tasks. Let’s take as an AtlasShrugged-y example building a bridge across a gorge to allow a railway to connect two towns. The project requires people to design a bridge that will support the train, map out the materials needed, engage physical labour to do the building, extract the materials from the earth, forge steel, logistics to transport the men, materials and energy to the worksite, direct the work and so on. All of these activites interface with the real world with outcomes that can be measured and the ultimate proof in whether the bridge stands or falls. Construction companies are masculine because they must harness masculine skills to complete the project. Not because the men involved specifically wish to exclude women for the sake of it. Women are excluded because they are inadequate in these roles.
So the workplace takes on masculine energy as a necessary condition of getting the job done effectively. Red Pill Room calls this the Sandbox (an excellent post). The moment you force femininity into the workplace you dilute the effectiveness of a business’s ability to impose itself upon the world. So is there a place for women in the workplace? Let’s get this question framed correctly. The demands of the project are what shapes the culture of a business, rather than the habits and fancies of men. Men do not fashion business as their private fiefdom or they’ll go out of business under market competition. The men take on the shape of the environment. It’s a common feminist misconception that men love going to work and having their Old Boy’s playground, as if working down the mines or in an office cubicle are some kind of recreational activity. To disabuse yourself of this notion just ride an Underground train during rush hour and watch all the tired slouched men traipsing into the office at 9am then coming home worn-out and defeated from a hard day’s graft. Most men don’t take joy from their work, they do it because it’s their role and a means to an end. They are fitting themselves to the shape of the workplace realities.
Women are solipsistic by nature and thus operate from a “what’s in it for me?” frame. The workplace is an environment to be shaped to suit their tastes and damn the consequences to the project. Red Pill Room calls this the Swingset and it’s disruptive by nature. So let’s not ask what work can do for women but rather what women can do for work. In a free market that’s how it goes – you are hired according to your abilities as required by the firm. Assuming an honest intention by the woman to contribute, what can she actually do?….. History has already answered that for us. Considering the business as it’s own pseudo-household, women are deployed in internal-facing roles that manage the warmness of the environment ro support the external-facing men. Typing, filing, photocopying, tea-making and crucially… looking pretty around the office to make it a pleasant place to be.
There are some exceptions, when a business is particularly people focused such as marketing firms, PR, events management and so on. These are more like outsourced elements what are usually people-focused sides of business whose main activity is world-focused. And what a surprise that women gravitate to these roles. The public sector is another (grossly enlarged) outlier. Free men in free markets hire workers for what they can do – there is a purity of connection. The government hires workers for political purposes and then allows trades unions to inflict producer capture upon the organisation and redeploy it as a source of feathering the nests of it’s employees rather than getting the job done. And what a surprise that women gravitate to these roles.
Real work is a male endeavour. To the extent women can perform adequately they must take on male characteristics by accessing their reserve masculine core. This masculines them, kills their femininity. There are only two choices for society in allowing women to work while retaining their femininity: (i) feminise the culture of work so the women are happy but nothing gets done efficiently or (ii) limit women to particular tightly-fenced roles until they get married off and leave the workforce. The latter is the only choice acceptable to me.
September 21, 2012 10 Comments
I’m always looking for the next theoretical leap forward in Game, the concept widely construed as ways of developing positive masculinity and relations with women. The latest concept Bhodi and I have been fleshing out is the meta-game of Reality Weaving. Bear in mind this is an embryonic concept so I’m using my blog to think out loud rather than presenting you will a polished end product. I’ll also be prone to flights of fancy.
Let’s consider Game as an ancient Greek temple. Numerous pillars stand rooted into the ground upon which a roof rests. These are your pillars of masculine development which you could categorise as finance, health, career, family, friendships, lifestyle for example. When you are an unemployed loser your career and financial pillars are crumbling, or you may institute a juicing program and workout routine to strengthen your health pillars. Ever the iconoclast, over at Count Cervantes I cut the pie according to the personal qualities that emerge when all the pillars are in place, namely presence, vibe, intrigue and mastery. However you operationalise the pillars the central point is that you identify the key areas that build you as a worthwhile man and then set about strengthening your value proposition and excising the tumours. I sometimes call this “building your value”
Resting across the pillars is the roof of Game as traditionally construed. This represents your technical competence in set as expressed in what you do. Are you going out and approaching women? What do you open with? How well do you calibrate to the moment? These are all competencies which are seperately learnable (and analytical entities in themselves) but their ultimate success, their ability to facillitate drawing the woman to you, depend upon how stable the roof rests on the pillars. Put another way, if your value is low it doesn’t much matter what you do in set.
I’ve recently figured out that the temple doesn’t stop at the roof. It’s got a statue on top as the final flourish and this is your Reality Weaving. Perhaps my metaphor is limited, I’m sure I’ll eventually develop a better one, but for current purposes assume I’m essentially talking about another level of Game, something that’s analytically distinct and can be independently improved upon. This is the subject of today’s post
Reality Weaving: Constructing self-perpetuating environmental and behavioural conditions that continually reinforce your active efforts to achieve your goals
Reality Weaving (RW) is the set-design on the stage upon which you perform your life’s play, it’s the director who makes minor adjustments, it’s the choice of cast around you and also it is the self-talk you use to intepret it all. This will take some unpacking….
Evolution has equipped us with a logical forebrain and an emotional hindbrain. Bhodi calls it the monkey (FB) riding the elephant (HB). I think of the forebrain like a dynamic computer processor with access to numerous databanks, able to react on-the-fly to novel situations and the hindbrain as a reactive slumbering Cthulhu-eqsue monster that roars, groans and purrs depending on how it’s inertia-ridden dreams are disturbed by the happenings above the oceanline. Mostly it’s asleep but when things get too far off-course, it rises up and smashes the puny humans. Evolutionarily speaking this duality was an adaptive response to changing environmental situations. Animals directed purely by instinct can only survive in the limited environments that bred them whereas creating a delegation general purpose problem tool called the brain allows humans to live across most physical landscapes and even to reconstruct those landscapes to better fit (e.g. cutting a clearing in a forest to build huts, to dredging Tokyo Bay to make artificial islands). Human evolution went so far as to create sophisticated self-wareness which leads to two interesting points:
Your hindbrain is the boss and your forebrain is the delegated task master, however
You (as in, who you refer to when you conceptualise the self) is what lives in the forebrain
Interesting this presents a tension. Your hindbrain doles out rewards and punishments (in the form of happiness, excitement, satisfaction, sadness, pain, anxiety etc) for skillfully / incompetently executing his plans. This makes the hindbrain your partner, but it also makes him your enemy. Where is your loyalty? Do you really care about continuing your genetic line or do you care about being happy and obtaining the postive emotions that are doled out by the hindbrain without much care about the genetics? Much as men are attracted to the signals of fertility rather than actual fertility, I’ll propose that what we really want is happiness.
So let’s clarify – reality weaving is a tool designed to managed, control, cajole and sedate the hindbrain in order to obtain from it the positive emotions that will aid your forebrain in carrying out the forebrain’s agenda. Leave determinist thought of genetic lineage behind. I am talking about liberating the freedom of the will. Let’s bring it back to earth with an example and a metaphor:
Metaphor: Your hindbrain is a hungry rat placed in a maze, the maze is the environment and your forebrain is the observing scientist who built the maze. The rat will just react to stimuli in the moment going wherever it damn well pleases on a whim. If he can smell food he’ll move towards it, if he has an electric shock behind him he’ll move away from it. At every turn the structure of the maze can channel him down particular paths which the scientist favours. Thus he who controls the maze can exert considerable influence upon he who walks through it. Consider Inception. Or Takeshi’s Castle.
Example: Imagine a fatty who eats rather too much chocolate. To remove in the moment temptation to scoff Dairy Milks the maze can be constructed in ways such as: (i) do not buy reserve stores of chocolate to keep around the house, thus increasing the likelihood that your momentary weakness passes before you put your shoes on and walk to the corner shop (ii) plot a route to work that avoids newspaper shops so you are never in a position of being able to pop in for a snack (iii) avoid the colour purple if it triggers associations with the Dairy Milk brand.
I’ve deliberately used a trite example. All three strategies are enabling the greatest powers of your forebrain (logical processing, long time-orientation) in order to make preparations while the hindbrain is asleep so that when it wakes up it’s passing fancies cannot be enabled. You make hay while the sun shines. Another example…. consider you have approach anxiety / apathy caused by the negative emotions produced by your hindbrain when walking towards girls. Two common strategies for dealing with this are:
Don’t masturbate for a week so your horniness overcomes your anxiety
Give a friend £200 at the beginning of the day and he repays you £20 for every approach you do
Both strategies are classic maze-construction. In the former you are creating a sexual energy (positive) that overrules your anxiety and in the second you are creating a fear of loss (negative) that outweighs your fear of approach. Either way you are anticipating your hindbrain’s in the moment response by predeploying against it. Bhodi has my favourite version – A commitment to donate £200 to the spiteful feminist Fawcett Society if he doesn’t complete ten approaches. So that is creating a strong disgust response to overwhelm the anxiety.
These are just snippets of what a full reality weaving looks like, a glimpse of the elephants ear without seeing the full beast yet. I’ll get more into it in another post and try to lay out a conceptual model.
September 20, 2012 15 Comments
I recently went back to work after over two years of leisure. I didn’t need to, I could’ve easily continued my merry wanderings for several more years, but my subconscious was giving me an ever louder signal that I need to put on a suit and submit myself to some internally-directed accomplishment and some externally-provided discipline. Your subconscious will first speak to you in fleeting murmours, then husky growls before eventually building up to a crashing cacophony of deafening proportions. It’s your masculine core and it exists to stop your logical forebrain making a mess of the navigation process delegated to it.
Your ego, logical forebrain and masculine core are all your friend. Yes, even your ego. It requires an occasional sedative but it’s evolved inside you for good reasons. Everything inside you has evolved for the purposes of keeping you alive and getting your seed into some nubile young maidens. It’s not the ego itself to fear, but the various twists and kinks that send it off on fools errands. Slay the demons, sedate (don’t kill) the ego.
So three years ago I’d begun to feel like my career was an unnecessary rat race and my job a chore. Growing up as a smart, well-educated middle class boy the rewards of a higher-beta lifestyle were always going to appeal to me. I expected career success, pots of cash, status increments and all the other accoutrements of mainstream success. Thus I channeled myself down the Attainment Path without ever giving thought to alternatives. For a while my deal with society seemed to work. I got cash, security, gadgets and status while society got a higher-beta workhorse to obey the laws, create wealth, and tax to penury to pay for all the freeloaders. I even got The Girl, for a while (though as I subsequently discovered the Attainment Path was coincidence not a cause of that).
Then when The Girl left I realised that 60-hour workweeks, deadline pressure, 50% taxation and the much higher “cultural enrichment” tax of paying obscene amounts in rent, travel and entertainment to stay safe inside the law-abiding white-man coccoon….. it wasn’t worth it to come back to an empty home, spend a few hours watching TV / playing PS3, then go to bed to respawn next day for another crack at pushing the boulder up the mountainside. It took my subconscious about six months to transition from quiet murmours into deafening roars, and then I quit.
My revulsion for civilisation had peaked. I looked for another way.
For a while I considered Freedom Porn. To cut a long story short it’s bullshit. There is no better or more efficient way of earning cash than learning a trade / expert system and then exchanging your skills for an hourly/daily wage. Freedom pornographers would have you believe the answer is starting an online business, affiliate marketing, coaching or whatever. It’s bullshit. Like the crack-dealer business model, there’s only a few spots at the top of any particular accumulation pyramid. There’s only one Roosh. Only one Richard La Ruina. The pickup pyramid isn’t even a lucrative one. Unless you are able to dislodge one of the top guys then the best money remains in coaching bootcamps, residentials and one-on-ones…. which is exchanging your skill in an expert system for an hourly/daily wage. But I digress.
The office cubicle is a physical and mental prison. Manosphere guys write plenty about the latter, how by suppressing your natural inclinations to fit into corporate culture you are betatising yourself and allowing yourself to be sucked into a hoop-jumping frame of work hard – take orders – get rewarded by status increment. I agree, mostly. It’s also a physical prison because you lock you body into a seated position for hours away from natural sunlight and fossilise. When I woke up that first bright morning after resigning, the office shackles casts off, I immediately set about shaking off the cobwebs and stretching my limbs.
For two years I answered to no-one. My life was an unbroken flow of doing whatever the fuck I wanted whenever the fuck I wanted. It was liberating. I shook off the beta, I shook off the worker-drone frame, and I developed that chill relaxed self-satisfied vibe that attracts women. I recommend it to anyone who has the financial means to do so. But it comes with downsides.
While my vibe and health improved, my subconscious went into a Cthulhu sleep. Enjoy it, it’s what you need, he said and began his centuries slumber. But after a while he began to stir. The problem of foregoing all external discipline is that you must generate it internally. Introverted, motivated, high-self regulators like me can do so for long periods without folding in on themselves. But there are limits. There’s always Dissipation Monkey chattering in your ear… “Ease off, you’ve earned it”… “Might as well drink the whole bottle of whiskey, it’s not like you need to get up for work tomorrow”…. “No need to shower. Skyrim doesn’t care if you smell”… left unchecked the little bastard will dissolve your work ethic and go-getting masculine energy until you become a wop.
I started to feel it. Two years living in a bubble without accountability and I could feel myself wopping out. I’d quit my job to build up the masculine pillars in my life, to gain independence and a good vibe, to get more time to live my life well, but I was neglecting the most important pillar of all – self-sufficiency. Men are the power stations of humanity, self-motivated machines of economic surplus which the herd lives off (i.e. women and children). The male drive is to produce and to stand independent. Lose that and you lose much of your masculine confidence. There’s a reason we all look down on losers.
As I felt my subconscious awaken I knew where it was headed. I’d need to go back to work. The question wasn’t if, it was on what terms. Fortunately together with my buddy Bhodi we’d thrashed out the concept of Expert System Energy Husky. We’d identified this male need to master a system and then produce surplus with it. We’d identified the joy that comes from grappling with an amorphous blob of uncooperative reality until our application of skill and sweat fashioned it into a useful outcome to serve our needs. Your husky needs to go for walkies. You can ask him to lie by the sofa for a while and he’ll obey, but left idle long enough he’ll get agitated. First a whimper and scratching of paws, and eventually yelping and barking at the door to go out. ESEH can be trained. As my revulsion for the corporate world wore off I started to find reasons to like going back to my career.
- It’s mentally challenging.
- I have lots of responsibility.
- I get to wear cool suits.
- I’m surrounded by high-achieving, reliable, competent men.
- I learn new things about new businesses every day.
- My brain gets a workout that will protect it’s higher order functionings as I age.
- I get to deploy technical skills I spent years acquiring.
You can NLP yourself into enjoying your job. Dale Carnegie wrote a book about it. It’s part of a wider process of Reality Weaving (post to come). I very consciously NLP’d myself based on the rewards of mastering an expert system and not on the cash. It’s so wrong to put yourself into the frame of this is an unpleasant imposition I grind though only because it pays the bills. That’s pronouncing a death sentence on your vibe.
Much of this came to me while on mushrooms.
September 12, 2012 35 Comments
Total submission of body and soul in which the woman trusts and admires you so much she presents her whole being to you to do as you please.
If there’s one thing I do better than everyone else I’ve ever met, and do to a level where I don’t think I need ever improve, it is to deeply convert a girl. I used to call it Soul Collection and I’d gotten halfway through writing a book on it before Skeletor persuaded me not to. There’s plenty of guys out there who are better than me at getting women whether its lone-wolfing in bars/clubs or creaming off the top tier girls with little effort. That’s fine. I do my best and it’s acceptable to me. Game isn’t about gangbanging supermodels every weekend, it’s about improving your access to women over and above what you’d otherwise get.
But sometimes I shake my head when I hear how little control some guys have over their women, ending in a lose-lose inverse/low polarity relationship rather than a win-win balanced maledomfemsub. As Tolstoy remarked in opening Anna Karenina:
Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
Done correctly courting and relationships are plain sailing. Done incorrectly the pressure builds and bursts out in all manner of unpleasant acting out from disobedient women, lost in existential directionless dread, and pissing and moaning from delusional men. Things like:
- MRAs whining about getting divorce raped or losing their oneitis
- PUAs jumping through endless hoops to score a little extra pussy
- Name PUAs redefining their end goals to deny happy committed girls can be kept in that state long term
- Manosphere speculation on women’s incapacity to love men as they wish to be loved
All four of these problems are real and unavoidable within their own terms and in very specific cases. I don’t deny the legal system is anti-male, nor do I deny the rigmarole of dealing with bitchy shit-testing women, or the deep-seated genuine differences between male and female hardwiring for love. But these are extremes. The men who suffer most are those who have conditioned themselves to be soft targets, oblivious to danger signals. Even in the depths of the Great Depression, male unemployment was never above 25%, meaning 3/4 of men had jobs. It’s the weak and stupid who bear the brunt so while it’s worth outlining exactly what that brunt is, don’t become obsessed with it. If you know how to deeply convert a girl you are managing the risk to almost zero. Listen to the lyrics of these two songs. This is what a deeply converted girl sounds like. It’s in their soul to crave it.
Most guys are simply incapable of inspiring this kind of total soul surrender and devotion in a women. Most women never get to feel it and instead must get off on Deep Conversion Lite through sugar-rush books like 50 Shades of Grey. It’s the difference between spinning plates with fuck buddies and having a genuine harem where all your girls are exclusive to you. The women aren’t aligning with you out of cold calculation or temporary strung-out groupie lust, the connection runs far far deeper and feels wholesome to both of you.
Done correctly deep conversion is the most satisfying experience possible between a man and a woman. So long as you keep the elements in place, it has no natural time limit. I had my ex-wife in this state for eight of the nine years we were together (losing it only when I lost my mojo) and I’ve had four girlfriends in the past two years in the same position. I’ve got a few more on the boil now. It’s really not very hard to do if you have the following core competencies in place:
- An unshakeably strong frame. You are special, you know you’re special, and your masculinity is stratospheric compared to the chumps around you.
- Cheerful misogyny. You love women but don’t take them seriously. This is more than just the attraction phase teasing. You genuinely believe women are more like dogs or children, meaning they are a delight when well-lead and a nightmare when left ill-disciplined without a pack leader. It’s empathetic but not weak or equalist.
- Direction. Your life must be a straight line in a Deida-esque manner. Whether it’s your music, philosophy, career, fitness your life contains several arrows pointing the same direction… towards building the archetype of a fully developed man. If you are one-dimensional the girl will hold back.
- Sexual mastery. Understand that women crave dominance above all else in the bedroom. Give her the kind of sex that penetrates her soul. This isn’t high-fitness sport sex and G-spot finding. Those men will keep a woman around as her sexual provider, the guy she goes to when she wants a good fucking, the bedroom equivalent of a qualifying beta chump. A sexual master rocks a girl psychologically so even a half-assed knee trembler in a public toilet has her dreaming for weeks afterwards. The girl dreams of pleasing him, not him pleasing her.
All four elements increase with age if you live your life correctly. I don’t want to write too much about it and certainly the book will never be released. Just be aware that it has it’s own ego traps, its own risks…. but it is possible. When you’re tired of the notch-carousel you might want to look into it.
September 11, 2012 16 Comments
I came back from Yugoslavia with four very hot leads in addition to the girls I’d already knocked over. These are all young very pretty girls who are massively into me but I’d run out of time to clack them. A classic case of “park them in long-game”. These days I’m more aggressive in sexualising girls over teh interwebs, probably because I have greater abundance (and thus care less about losing them) and also I know I’m more attractive than I used to be so the girls are more into me. All four had been giving me heavy makeouts before I hightailed it out their country.
My usual pattern is to draw them into my world, run rapport, and spike the conversation with silly attraction material. Once they are chatting to me regularly I get them to describe what they are wearing, do a sex chat, and get them masturbating. Around this time I’ll find out more about what they like sexually and commence turning them out by chipping away at their barriers to expressing their true sexuality. It’s powerful stuff. Here’s some screen shots of one of my two Serbs chatting…. I begin by asking for feedback on our most recent sex chat from a couple of days earlier. Note how much anchoring she’s been doing while I’m not even there.
It should be pretty clear that girls fantasise alot about sex. This girl is the prototypical Good Girl – she’s 23 and had only one sexual partner, looks quite nerdy. For a long time I struggled with the madonna-whore complex, struggling to believe that good girls love sex. 60 Years of Challenge explains that one well. Men have trouble accepting affection from sluts because they have a natural aversion to forming a long-lasting emotional attachment to a girl who shows signals of likely sleeping-around / cuckoldry. Women know a child is theirs but a man never does and this simple fact explains about half the difference in male and female sexuality. Thus men are inclined to sort women into mutually exclusive categories of those who love sex (Bad Girls) and those who are marriageable (Good Girls). It’s wrong but it took me a long time to unburden myself of this notion – it’s a pretty lie that doesn’t want to perish because men don’t want to give up on the hope that women can really love them unconditionally.
After an hour of running my sexualisation photo routine, which has her well-horny, I start pushing further to see how many barriers I can dissolve in her state of heightened arousal. It’s pretty eye-opening. Note how I’m leading her and giving implicit permission to admit to liking it without incurring my disapproval.
At some point you will trigger her ASD and she’ll wonder whether she’s making a fool out of herself for opening up so much, and whether you do this with all the girls. Expect it. I’ve never not had a girl pull up and question me. Here’s how I handle it, by imposing my frame that this is completely natural and sprinkling in some compliments and triggering memories.
Although I want her to open up I also have to set a few limits so she doesn’t say anything which genuinely disgusts me so I give her a few limits (no bestiality or scat) then we get the ker-ching moment when she finally admits to something big….
For a long time I was hesitant to go so deep with girls because I simply didn’t understand how dirty they are. I’ve since had a bunch of Good Girls admit to this kind of thing. They love it in the ass, DP, all kinds of things. Mostly they are keeping their secret fantasies and don’t even realise themselves that this is what they actually want in reality (the number of times I’ve heard a fantasy related with “I’d never actually do this” and then she subsequently does it). My Secret Garden is for real. Hopefully this chat will make it more real for you guys.
September 7, 2012 7 Comments
Here’s something I stumbled upon while facebooking chatting an ex-GF. Say words to the effect of “I found a great website today. It’s a collection of sex-themed photos where the writer leaves a comment telling you the one thing she loves about the photo. Some are porn but alot are just art or fashion” then send her this link (NSFW). Direct her to choose her favourite / most interesting five photos and tell you why she likes them. Then you can do the same. Apart from being a fun lively chat, it also achieves the following.
- Normalises sex and in particular kinky sex. By presenting all different kinds of sexual themes in one highly cheerful / positive site, you are giving yourselves permission to talk about stuff that might be difficult without such a prop.
- You are eliciting values to find out the kind of things she’s into where taking them all in combination you really get a feel for how she is sexually wired. Your choices do that same.
- She’ll get turned on and associate sex with you. In this state of heightened arousal barriers come down and you can progress the sexualisation, maybe turn it into a sex chat (which itself is based on the information you now know about what she likes – women will tell you how to seduce them).
- By getting her to go first (or take turns, her first) you can calibrate your responses if you’re not sure she’ll go for it. If she chooses the non-porn images you know to soft-pedal a little, maybe wait until your fourth or fifth choice to choose a porn image.
- You both have plausible deniability. It’s generalised sex talk (to use my verbal escalation terminology). You are commenting on someone else’s content.
I wouldn’t break this stuff out until you’ve already reached the point where you are fucking (and thus this is spice to your future sex) or you’ve basically got her to the point of wanting to fuck (e.g. late stage of Long Game) and you are getting her off sexually in the interim while waiting for the logistics to clear.
September 6, 2012 18 Comments
I recently tweeted:
What is your magic number that, once hit, takes away the relentless urge to bang more girls? Mine was 50. For a few friends it was 100.
Every man with 100+ lays is either a fuck up or a former fuck up
Sitting in my lounge yesterday with my buddies listening to music it occured to me that although my lay count is huge compared to “normal men” it was by far the lowest in the room. There’s Lee with 100+ at the tender age of twenty four. Robusto is on 98, Jambone somewhere north of 150, both Tony and Steve are considerably above 300. No wonder girls are a little intimidated when they come to my house, they can sniff out the sexual experience like dogs.
To an outside observer, or a wannabe PUA still struggling to knock over a new girl every few months, it’s easy to be impressed with these notch counts. You may have even just subconsciously ranked the men in my house placing Steve and Tony at the top (and me at the bottom!). If so then I’m afraid you’ve been cognitively captured by the weirdness of the PUA lifestyle and fallen into it’s messed-up frame. Lays are like money – the people with the most of it don’t think it’s such a big deal and don’t go round conspicuously bragging, they tend to be distrustful of the men who shout it from the rooftops. All the men I named have moved on from relentlessly acquiring notches.
As soon as Lee hit 100 (I think she was a girl in Malia he fucked in the nightclub toilets. He was the inbetween fuck of her three lays that night) he wanted a girlfriend. A switch flipped in his mind and he no longer cared about SNLing, even turning them down frequently. He’s now in a long relationship with a girl he likes.
Robusto has fallen big-time for a sweetly feminine Croatian girl. He wants to make her number 100 when they are in the same city again, so he’s knocking over a couple of sure things to get to 99 before boarding the flight. Yes, that’s both messed up and very romantic. I wonder if she wins a new car too. We don’t see Jambone much but he’s much more interested in running his businesses and setting up his geographical and financial independence. He’s turned down alot of lays in 2012. Tony is doing his own version of the same, far more interested in his personal interests and lifestyle design than clacking new birds. Steve is also in an exclusive relationship and has written about his laycount here.
So why is it that a group of guys with hard-earned finely-honed skills to bang women, a skill most of you dear readers would love to have, are basically refusing to use that skill? Based on conversations with these and other guys, plus my own person experience I’d put it this way….
All men are hard-wired with desire to sow their seed widely and constantly chase sexual novelty. Most of the time society sets restrictions on how much you can do this (e.g. social conventions on monogamy and dating) or sublimates it into over avenues (e.g. porn) which results in societally wide low median laycounts. Some men stumble upon success with women and break out. It’s exciting, like being let loose in a supermarket sweep, so we run hog wild clacking everything we can. It’s tremendously ego-gratifying. The problem is that men who are capable of forming secure attachments will quite quickly run into a woman they really like and want to date. This temporarily eliminates one of the necessary conditions to achieving a high laycount – time in the field. Dating just one girl for a year can knock 10-60 lays off a player’s final count as an opportunity cost.
Thus most guys with very high laycounts are the ones with attachment issues, men who have studiously avoided dating nice women and pushed them away. It’s a strange metaphor but I think the psychology is similar to serial killers. These men tend to be drifters and don’t hold down real career jobs, often forming fleeting alliances with other like-minded males. They are also driven by a relentless pressure to keep finding new girls, like wolves at their door. I don’t want to overstate the case – players are just having fun with women, not murdering them!
Each lay is delivering a dopamine hit, placating Relentless Notch Count Hyena for another week, pouring more water into the leaky bucket. And then at some point you turn a corner, whether it’s a change in your life circumstances, the result of conscious inner game work, a good trip on mushrooms….. the leaks get plugged. Then you hit your magic number and RNCH packs his bags and slinks away tail between his legs. As he disappears from view you hear some yapping behind you. You turn around and meet Secure Attachment Pug wagging his little tail and licking your hand with his little tongue.
While this process is ongoing you’ll find your attitudes to women and sex change. In the beginning you select women for silly reasons (mostly availability) and treat every moment between opener and f-close as a grind to be endured. It’s a quantity-based approach to pour as much filthy water into the leaky bucket as possible. Gradually you transition towards quality as you become competent enough to insist upon it. The water is cleaner but the bucket is still leaky. And then finally, like Angelsinn commented here, you are no longer screening based on quantity or quality – you are zeroing in on precisely the feminine girls you like because now every moment between opener and f-close is a pleasure. The leaky bucket is repaired, RNCH makes way for SAP, and while your notch rate slows your overall satisfaction with life rises.