Team Krauser has been out in Sarajevo for a few days, mainly because Jimbo is obsessed with the place and wanted to do the night train from Zagreb. I’ve had a week in Turkey visiting a girl then I roll in 9pm on Friday night. Apparently it’s impossible to get laid in Sarajevo…. according to this guy on the internet:
“Leave – ASAP! Let me be frank. Just forget Serbia, as well as Bosnia and Croatia.
You will never get any girl from there, if you are aiming above 3 in grade out of 10 (and I guess most of us aim for at least 7 or .
I have lived there, studied there, know the language, been there almost ten times now, know their songs, their culture, their politics, whatever, and also have some kind of network there.
But, their women – just forget it. Their culture, their society, will not allow it.
What we will be offered, if not living there for like 20 years, and really play their slooow game, is “kaka”, that is shit. So, no need to read any more threads about the former republics of Yugoslavia. Just get your bag and leave! If you are there hunting women, so to speak.”
I’m pretty sure that sex and tourism forums are where the high value men hang out. Probably George Clooney and Cary Grant have a few posts on which Serbian dive bars to find grotty 6s….. but I digress. There’s no question Yugoslavia is a difficult place to get laid if you are after high quality non-slutty locals and only in town a couple of weeks. Sarajevo is an order of magnitude harder than Zagreb. Bhodi goes so far as to offer a bet that he’ll drink a glass of his own cum if one of us fucks a Bosnian non-rotter in Sarajevo. Stakes are too high for me seeing we only expect a long weekend here.
So Friday night rolls around, I’ve been in town only a few hours when we hit the bars. Jimbo and Robusto get into a really good set with two beauties, girls who’d turn heads in every London club and it’s going great until the inevitable friction…. both in serious relationships to local guys and just not willing to cheat. This isn’t the UK. When girls say that here it means something. So the boys eject and we try to find a club on the first day of Ramadan. It’s pretty dead. We end up downstairs in some rubbishy nightclub playing folk dance music. There’s only ten people and only one set – four girls of whom two are pretty hot. Robusto and I are figuring out how to open when some Spanish guy opens me and brings his Bosnian girlfriend over. Just friendly people wanting to chat so I reciprocate knowing it’s making me look social. But then the girls leave.
This is where I become something of a cunt and break the hallowed wing rules. Robusto follows them out and opens before they can jump in a taxi. The set has a weak hook but hook nonetheless. As I sidle up some gypsy beggar boy slides into the middle to hijack it. I fucking hate gypsies. Really despise them. Robusto proceeds to neutralise him while I notice the prettiest girl is looking at me alot and has the “up for it” vibe. I eyefuck her ragged and chat about nonsense, tooling her and being a dick. I hear Robusto in the background calling me a goblin (code for set-stealing) with steam coming out his ears. One week of blueballs, several hours of cocktails, and a hot Krauser girl returning my eyefucking…. I just don’t care. I steamroller the set and shut him out.
This is diabolical behaviour. I have no excuse at all. After taking her number I get a well deserved dressing down from Jimbo while Robusto mostly just calls me a cunt. There’s no answer to it.
It’s a hot lead. Text chat goes well and at 5pm on Saturday I meet her for drinks, already halfcut from cocktails with Jimbo the previous two hours. Conversation goes great. My date game is focused and on point so she keeps cooing “you’re so self confident”. That’s the best thing you can hear from a girl until “do you have a condom?” She takes me to the best little cafe in Sarajevo, real Austro-Hungarian style place, and I just know its on. I do my usual verbal escalation. Things like:
- Sorry, I just looked at your breasts. I’ll keep my eyes up
- I can see you are very introverted. I like it. You can really focus your attention and make interesting conversation
- When you go to the bathroom I’m gonna check you out. [when she comes back I stare at her legs and give an approving nod]
- I’m going to kiss you in the next bar
These have a dual function as compliance tests. If the girl doesn’t want to fuck, she’ll block or evade. Instead I was getting smiles, thanks, reciprocal compliments, and good sexual tension. Finally two hours in I kiss her on the street, planning to do one more bar but my spidersense tells me she’s ready to extract. So I suggest mixing cocktails. She’s easy about going to my house or back to her flat. When she tells me she lives alone I realise that’s better than trying to text three buddies and have them desert my apartment. Also, I want to fuck her in a soviet era block… my little fuck you to Socialism.
Back in the house it seems like plain sailing with the usual music, youtube videos and vodka oranges to get her ready. We makeout and I gradually escalate when the inevitable LMR comes up. This is Sarajevo not London. She puts her bra back on and I have to lean back for a while. With most girls there are a couple of key moments in the escalation where doing the wrong thing will set you back an hour or two by triggering ASD. I spot this one and just change the subject, put new music on and let her lean into me. My vibe works well and twenty minutes later I’ve got her top off again. I finger fuck her to orgasm but get more LMR. So another step back and we sit in the kitchen chatting, her sitting on my leg. Another half hour and now there’s time pressure because her friends are due around. We go back to the lounge and I’ve pretty much accepted the moment is gone… I’ll have to close tomorrow and risk her not contacting me. Bugger.
And then it all turns. I sense her horniness. Finally the hindbrain has overpowered the forebrain and she really wants to fuck. The clearest non-verbal signal a girl will give you that she’s finally ready to fuck (after a few knock backs) is she’ll proactively grab your cock and start rubbing it. Almost a 100% sign. So I push her over, pull the strides down and get my cock in her. +1.
Three minutes later her doorbell rings and I have to pull out with blue balls. It’s physically painful for the rest of the night. It’s about 10pm so I chat to her friend and then taxi home to join the gang. Got my lay but a bit unsatisfied. Bhodi weasels out of drinking his own cum on a technicality. I consider replying to the chode forum post above. I’ve knobbed a local Sarajevan good girl in less than 24 hours in the city. Surely I deserve a medal.
I can’t gloat because it should’ve been Robusto with his dick in her. So my mission tonight is to make right my bad behaviour. The town is much busier on Saturday and it’s easy to open some sets and let him take over. Nothing really sticks, same old story. Hot girls, good conversation, plenty of attraction but overbearing social pressure cockblocking it. Around midnight my girl texts to say she’s in Hacienda bar with her friends and would we like to join? I remember she said her blonde friend (a solid seven) is a dirty ho so I figure I can strike off my debt. My girl has clearly been spending the past few hours sharing her story with her friends and DHVing us by proxy so when we roll up this blonde immediately fancies Robusto.
We run the set for an hour or two and he pairs off into isolation and dirty talks the blonde. He winks and lets me know its on. So I suggest a four-handed drinking party back at the girl’s flat and we taxi there. It’s a done deal. After a drink in the lounge we pair off. While I’m fucking my girl over her chest of drawers I get the “F-town” text. Nice one. I finish my girl off and dump another week’s work of cum on her tits, in her eyes and up her nose.
Lovely girl. She tells me her Number is “much lower than ten” and this is her first chance to tick the “get taken home by new guy” and “fuck foreign guy” checkboxes. Bhodi refuses the drinking the glass a second time.