Here’s something I stumbled upon while facebooking chatting an ex-GF. Say words to the effect of “I found a great website today. It’s a collection of sex-themed photos where the writer leaves a comment telling you the one thing she loves about the photo. Some are porn but alot are just art or fashion” then send her this link (NSFW). Direct her to choose her favourite / most interesting five photos and tell you why she likes them. Then you can do the same. Apart from being a fun lively chat, it also achieves the following.
- Normalises sex and in particular kinky sex. By presenting all different kinds of sexual themes in one highly cheerful / positive site, you are giving yourselves permission to talk about stuff that might be difficult without such a prop.
- You are eliciting values to find out the kind of things she’s into where taking them all in combination you really get a feel for how she is sexually wired. Your choices do that same.
- She’ll get turned on and associate sex with you. In this state of heightened arousal barriers come down and you can progress the sexualisation, maybe turn it into a sex chat (which itself is based on the information you now know about what she likes – women will tell you how to seduce them).
- By getting her to go first (or take turns, her first) you can calibrate your responses if you’re not sure she’ll go for it. If she chooses the non-porn images you know to soft-pedal a little, maybe wait until your fourth or fifth choice to choose a porn image.
- You both have plausible deniability. It’s generalised sex talk (to use my verbal escalation terminology). You are commenting on someone else’s content.
I wouldn’t break this stuff out until you’ve already reached the point where you are fucking (and thus this is spice to your future sex) or you’ve basically got her to the point of wanting to fuck (e.g. late stage of Long Game) and you are getting her off sexually in the interim while waiting for the logistics to clear.
September 8, 2012 at 8:24 am
Pure gold Nick – I’ll be bookmarking this for sure.
I’m planning to use it in that late stage, just got her back to the studio flat lying on the bed chilling phase. Obviously I will have sexualised talk beforehand so it doesn’t come out of the blue.
The important question is: Could it be too much sexualisation pre bang.
A real shame it includes actual pornography (as opposed to the sexual nudes)
September 8, 2012 at 12:06 pm
One line I adapted from one of your blog posts that I use all the time and it seems to immediately put girls into a sexual frame is whatever she says that may be even close to mean, or bratty or whatever I reply: “Behave, or I’ll send you to the naughty corner”.
Every time I’ve used this line, i get responses like “oooooooo i like how that sounds”
“Will you be coming with me?”
September 8, 2012 at 4:14 pm
This is fantastic! Although, I think there’s scope to introduce her to this earlier than you state – the key is subtlety.
September 9, 2012 at 10:10 am
Nice. Have done this with another tumbler account (cannot remember it). Work also with guys to see how they are wired (not sexually then!! 😉 ). I think the most important factor is the “plausible deniability”: You can always say that it has nothing to do with you, it is just what is on the website. Of course you and the other person knows it is about you, but anyways, there is still a way to say that it is not. That is perfect.
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September 12, 2012 at 5:14 am
Showed the link to my MLTR/GF right after I fucked her. She is a sweetheart of innocent demeanor who goes along with anything I dish out in bed. She has never really seen porn (according to her 😉 I was pleasantly surprised when she picked the most graphic of the options.
September 23, 2012 at 11:55 pm
used this on a 23 year old i’ve been gaming from ok cupid. she’s now calling me to read passages from shades of gray. The best part of this post was how to handle the inevitable ASD: “How many girls do you do this with?” and another “Are you only after sex?” I used the response proposed. Worked a charm. Not only did it clear the ASD, next, they were talking all sorts of kinky shit they wanted to do. Thanks K.