Here’s something I stumbled upon while facebooking chatting an ex-GF. Say words to the effect of “I found a great website today. It’s a collection of sex-themed photos where the writer leaves a comment telling you the one thing she loves about the photo. Some are porn but alot are just art or fashion” then send her this link (NSFW). Direct her to choose her favourite / most interesting five photos and tell you why she likes them. Then you can do the same. Apart from being a fun lively chat, it also achieves the following.
- Normalises sex and in particular kinky sex. By presenting all different kinds of sexual themes in one highly cheerful / positive site, you are giving yourselves permission to talk about stuff that might be difficult without such a prop.
- You are eliciting values to find out the kind of things she’s into where taking them all in combination you really get a feel for how she is sexually wired. Your choices do that same.
- She’ll get turned on and associate sex with you. In this state of heightened arousal barriers come down and you can progress the sexualisation, maybe turn it into a sex chat (which itself is based on the information you now know about what she likes – women will tell you how to seduce them).
- By getting her to go first (or take turns, her first) you can calibrate your responses if you’re not sure she’ll go for it. If she chooses the non-porn images you know to soft-pedal a little, maybe wait until your fourth or fifth choice to choose a porn image.
- You both have plausible deniability. It’s generalised sex talk (to use my verbal escalation terminology). You are commenting on someone else’s content.
I wouldn’t break this stuff out until you’ve already reached the point where you are fucking (and thus this is spice to your future sex) or you’ve basically got her to the point of wanting to fuck (e.g. late stage of Long Game) and you are getting her off sexually in the interim while waiting for the logistics to clear.