I’ve been plateauing of late and it’s mostly expressed itself through a lack of motivation for approaching and dating. I’ve been hitting on girls mostly because I felt compelled to because I’m the guy who hits on girls, not cos I really enjoyed it. After ruminating on this during a few hot baths I decided it’s my inner game issues that need the most work. I’ve been pulling away from what I’d call the “learning stage” of pickup where you force yourself out into the field (taking “right action”) to normalise the act and to bank all of the experience. The stage where you devour ebooks and dvd sets then mechanically apply the lessons in your next sets. This stage, which took me over a year, is absolutely necessary but is robotic and fake. For a few months now I’ve felt like I can drop lots of that stuff and just rely upon my internalised game. The last couple of lays I’ve got came when I just had fun and unselfconsciously did what came natural (after over a year of drilling a new version of natural into me).
So, like when I went to Yad earlier in the year, I felt like I was in a transitional phase and needed something new to kick me forwards. The questions now became what do I want and who do I go to. There’s only two people I’ve ever paid cold hard cash to for pick-up instruction: first was the Rock Solid Game bootcamps in 2009, then Yad. This is an industry full of clowns and charlatans. Now that I’m fairly good, the pool of worthy instructors is even smaller.
I had Masters of the Universe action figures when I was a kid. I collected the dark side: BeastMan, MerMan, TrapJaw etc. I thought HeMan and ManAtArms were homo. One of my most treasured childhood memories is when my dad built a homemade Castle Grayskull out of cardboard boxes and did such a good job of it I genuinely preferred it to the official plastic version.
So this guy calls himself Skeletor and that seems like a reasonable basis to give him my money.
Hang on… Actually, I’d long heard about him and back in summer 2009 when I spent a lot of time on the LSS trying to get “into” the community he was/is the old sage of the forum. The Gandalf / Chomsky / DeepThought if you will. I’d read lots of his posts and then during a LSS free seminar in late 2009 I saw him speak. The material was similar to what Johnny Wisdom had been teaching me but I was impressed mainly with his command of the topic and manner of delivery (I was subsequently to learn he’s a hugely arrogant narcissist – a compliment in my world – and that’s where the self-assurance came from). So, he happens to advertise he’s doing inner game 1-on-1s again at precisely the time I’m looking to take them. Easy.
Or not. He’s not cheap and I’m essentially unemployed. Also, while the community is absolutely awash with instructors competing for student’s cash (and thus its a buyers market) the fact is I’d headhunted him as an instructor. Like Yad before him, at this point in my life I wanted his instruction and only his instruction. A self-imposed seller’s market…..
So I mail him to say a little about myself and what I want. At this point I’m not yet sold on him, but sense he’s the right guy for it. I believe the teacher-student relationship is more than just cash and the nature of the topic will involve me revealing a hell of a lot about myself, stuff even my parents don’t know. I know there’s not many students like me about, so that ought to help pique his interest. He replies and sets up a 1 hour free consultation in a cafe. Ahead of time I do some serious introspection to verbalise exactly what it is I want and come up with four specific goals:
- Believe 10s are lucky to meet me. No value taking.
- Reduce envy of other people’s success.
- Balance the drive to open vs the reactive need.
- Project solidity and certainty.
I’ll break these down further. Right now I can walk up to a 7 or 8 and absolutely feel deep in my core that she is lucky I chose her and she’ll never meet a guy of my quality again. This means my manner is extremely relaxed and confident. I know I’m giving the value and she senses this. These sets go very well and I can just talk the way I want to. I SNL’d a hot 22 yr old two days ago precisely in this way (blogpost coming soon). However, when I see a girl who is at the pinnacle of female beauty I don’t have the same self-assurance. Look at my last infield with the Croatian at the train-station. She’s a ten (if you had a close up view of her face you’d not dispute it) and very confident. Although the set is ok you can just see little traces of doubt in my manner. Very subtle but enough for a girl to read.
Though I’m having way more success than I ever thought possible when getting into game, I’ve noticed I still don’t react to other people’s success stories the way I should. Whether it’s getting my knickers in a twist over Jambone‘s success in Lithuania, or like two weeks ago when the RSG guys went to do a bootcamp in Dublin. They had a great time and Burto fucked some girl in the alleyway behind the pub he’d met her in an hour earlier, Jambone got a few solid numbers from beautiful women, and the students did great. So the boys come piling back into Chateau RSG on a massive high that Sunday evening with their stories of sexual adventure. Intellectually I was genuinely pleased for them. Emotionally, I envied it. Despite the reason for my absence from the bootcamp being that I was in London making a Russian catwalk model fall in love with me (posts to follow, perhaps). Clearly this needs to change.
I’ve already mentioned I tend to approach because it’s in my identity to be the guy who approaches. When I see a hot woman walk past me I feel guilty if I don’t open her. Scarcity mentality. What I aspire to is to simply live my life and if I want to meet a new woman and see one, then I open. If those conditions aren’t in place, I simply think about other things – like actually living my normal life. I’ve got a high level skillset now so I don’t need to be trawling Covent Garden every weekend. I’ve got 35 girls in my orbit so I really don’t need new targets.
Lastly, I want to improve the masculine vibe I give out. When people talk to Tony T they feel like they’re talking to a statue on Mount Olympus such is the solidity and certainty in his subcommunication. I’m getting there but I want to be closer to it. I don’t think I need to study the body language and non-verbal micro communication. I think I need to organise my frame internally and then all that stuff will take care of itself.
So this is the challenge I set to Skeletor. Part Two to follow