Part Three of Four: I take a one-on-one tutorial
I’ve been frustrated with the recent plateau in my game. Any time I go out daygaming I’ll come home with a fistful of numbers / facebooks / instant dates but I’m just not converting. In addition my state is still too variable and some days I struggle to hook sets. Hours of DVDs have been studied, blogs read, and introspection performed. I’m well over 500 sets into my daygame career. Time for some outside help.
There’s not many good daygamers out there. I’m fully prepared to drop a few hundred pounds on high quality instruction – this is a part of my life that consumes hours and hours of every single week – but I need to find a guy who is not just better than me but who also has a style that fits. Having been in the London scene since last summer I whittle the short list down to five names. One name stands above all others so I email this guy. A week goes by then he accepts the proposition and quotes a price that is high but justified if he lives up to his rep.
Readers know I constantly admonish aspiring PUAs to mistrust snake oil sellers and to insist on in-field evidence. I sought out this guy because (i) I’ve seen legit in field vids of him (ii) a number of people I know and respect spoke highly of him and (iii) his haters fail to find any credible argument against him. What didn’t interest me in the slightest was whether he worked for a famous pick up company. Ahead of time I send him youtube links to my previous sarging session and refrain from adding my own comments because I don’t want to preframe it. I spend an hour thinking through my objectives for the session and write them down thus…..
Today’s goal: To learn what he considers the best way to run day game (not necessarily best for me personally) and the key stages / structure to go through. To get a feel for the realities of daygame as experienced by competent daygamers (e.g. useful attitudes, %hit rates, calibration) or “what does effective daygame look like?”
Mid-term goal: To integrate the best of his technique into my own personal form of day game that suits my character and motivations.
Main skill set I want: To cold approach the hottest girls (7s to 10s) in the prime of their sexual value (18 to 24yrs old) and make them my girlfriend.
Secondary skills sets I’d like:
(i) To choose whether I get the SDL, LTR or social circle with any given girl
(ii) To befriend any girl I want even if she’s off limits (e.g. married, not sexually attracted to me)
Specific things I struggle with / questions
- Is it better to display interest initially and if it’s not returned then to back off a little and befriend the girl, then put her into a holding pattern until she grows to like you OR keep escalating until she either complies or tells you to fuck off and you never see her again?
- What is a “good” hit ratio of approaches to numbers, and approaches to lays?
- How many approaches does it take to get good?
- How much is it reliant on finding the right girl (matches you, is into you, is up for a fuck) compared to how much is about you attracting a girl who wasn’t really up for it in the beginning?
- What % of girls are likely to be up for it and are there ways to recognised them or screen them early?
- Logistically what is the best way to get a girl into bed from daygame?
- What are good habits to acquire to help learning daygame (e.g. approach volumes, changes of location, principles to think about, self-testing)
But most of all I just want him to look at my game and decide what he thinks I need to do. We meet and go to his house to watch my videos. For over an hour he is playing them, pausing and commenting on what I do well, do badly, fail to do, and related theory behind the observations. He’s a technically astute and observant guy. About 90% of what he says I’m nodding my head in immediate agreement and there’s a few things in particular where I’m thinking “woah, that’s spot on. I totally didn’t realise that”. Before we’ve even left his house I feel I’ve gotten my money’s worth. The main insights:
– I’m failing to build rapport quickly
– I’m not talking enough about her
– I’m not personalising the conversation.
We head out to Oxford Street and he demos the first set, a leggy Austrian girl in short shorts. He hooks easily and its ten minutes much along the lines of what’s in the above linked video. I’m standing a few feet behind her so I can hear the conversation. I’m intently studying him – the eye contact, posture, gestures, vocal tone and how he transitions each thread. It confirms my chimpanzee theory. My game is 95% his in its superficial elements but he’s got that extra 5% that catapults his success rate. He gets me to open a cute little Asian and we tag-team her and interestingly his observations on the set are similar to mine. We do a seated two set of a Russian and a German that doesn’t go anywhere but provides twenty minutes of useful practice so I can observe him and he observe me. I’m consciously implementing the advice he gave and when I open a cute buxom Moroccan 17yr old and number close he’s watching the whole thing and says it was an excellent set. The vibe is brilliant and we are opening with no AA at all. We do a few more sets on the way to Trafalgar, stopping for coffee and juice – and more theory talk.
I’ve come to the end of my four paid hours but he seems determined to keep going until the session reaches a natural end so we are out for six hours in all. In Covent Garden he opens a three set of young English girls that we run for twenty minutes and number close, I crash and burn spectacularly with a mother-daughter set (not my fault – just a really cunty mother) and right at the end I instant date a cute little Jap who I date a few days later. That’s the end of the session. I’m very happy.
He’s definitely the real deal. Although in raw performance I out-gamed him (closed hotter girls, got the instant date) I think that’s just because he wasn’t in his top gear and was spending more energy watching me than gaming for himself – which is exactly what he should be doing as a paid instructor. There’s no doubt in my mind that the famous “10 minute kiss close” video linked above is legit.
There is absolutely nothing about him or his game that I can’t do…. eventually. He’s not relying on his looks, money or position. Every part of his success is behaviour, words and vibe and he showed me how he got those skills. I simply have to keep working until I get them too.
His game is essentially the same as mine, just better. I trend more towards the alpha / masculine side but beneath his gentle yeti exterior he subcommunicates strong masculine polarity and the girls pick up on it.
His apprenticeship relied upon the same nerdish laser focus as my own: diarising the time, approaching girl after girl, day after day, committing fully to the skill set.
It’s great to see someone who is good enough to make it worth modelling their behaviours, and yet close enough that it feels attainable. This guy is a proof of concept – you can bang the hottest of girls in the prime of their lives using nothing but learned game and with no physical or situational advantages. This is the very embodiment of game.
May 3, 2010 at 10:26 am
Wow I watched the video, he’s amazing! I know what you mean about plateauing – I’ve been sarging 2 or 3 days a week on my own or with my wing, and I have the basics absolutely down. Logistically it’s all fine, I don’t really get approach anxiety, and I can get numbers from girls I find hot. (I love having four girls texting me at once!) From there it’s standard dating game which I’m only ok at, and too many of the numbers flake.
What I really really want is to be able to build real sexual tension on the street, as opposed to just getting the number and going for the date a couple days later. You can see it at the end of the video you linked to, where Yad kiss-closes. His escalation in the last minute, where he takes her hands… I don’t know where he gets the confidence for that. I guess that’s the sort of inner game you get from thousands of approaches.
Can I ask how much he charged for the session? I saw on daygame.com that he and Andy Yosha were offering 2 on 1 sessions for £100/hour.
May 3, 2010 at 1:33 pm
Based on the link I initially thought it was Roissy you were talking about, which scrambled my circuits for a second. I discovered your blog via your comments on his blog, and it has been a much needed change. I didn’t know of any other pua/social dynamics resources and you can imagine that reading roissy can skew your perception of the world. So thanks for a less hateful, more realistic blog that stays focused on the task at hand.
May 3, 2010 at 8:56 pm
10 minute kiss close … ah …
Not even a PUA, and the girl was not even a slut, nor ugly, I have somehow managed this.
All right, maybe it was more like 15 minutes. But I have never managed anything close to that since.
I must have been on fucking fire … a natural for a night.
Or maybe it was sheer luck. Probably was, actually. I think she just really, really liked me at first glance.
May 4, 2010 at 6:08 pm
Or the girl just liked you. Why make simple when we can do complicated huh 😉
You mentionned your focus on the “alpha/masculine” side, but by just comparing the 2 of you, what pops out at first glance in his video is his calmness vs your extrovert outspokeness. Both are normal male behaviors, but in a seduction/sexual frame perhaps the first has more succes than the latter. Are we on the same page?
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March 23, 2011 at 10:43 pm
“Is it better to display interest initially and if it’s not returned then to back off a little and befriend the girl, then put her into a holding pattern until she grows to like you OR keep escalating until she either complies or tells you to fuck off and you never see her again?”
Are you going to see this girl again (for example, is it a waitress as a restaurant you go to or coworker?) Or is is someone you will never see again? If it is someone you will never see again their is no harm in escalating.