Chimpanzee game with the Japanese

April 26, 2010

I’m convinced I’m a fucking chimpanzee. I’ll explain. It’s a commonly quoted statistic, true or not, that we humans share 95% of our DNA with our long-armed hairy tea-making brethren (and no, i don’t mean Johnny Wisdom). So why is it that humans built civilisation, landed on the moon and have tiny plastic devices that send words and images around the world whereas chimps are sitting in cages flinging their shit at each other. Or wearing suits and making cups of tea?

Krauser on an instadate

Clearly the 5% of DNA we don’t share is of paramount importance.

I think that’s where I am with my game. The fundamentals are there, the behaviours are there and I’m doing essentially the same thing as the top day gamers when I’m in set. However, I’m not banging anywhere near as many girls as I ought to be. I’m metaphorically just flinging my shit around. So I have to figure out that remaining critical 5% and integrate it. Thus I’ve booked in a 1-on-1 with a guy who is touted as London’s best pick up artist. We’ll see how that goes.

The missing 5% really smarted on my day 2 with the Japanese 2 set. I did a ten minute pick up last Saturday but more or less wrote it off when they said they were going home a day later. I get lucky and a volcano erupts in Iceland covering Europe in a blanket of dust. I swear there wasn’t this much dust over Europe since the Jews were hiding under floorboards. So the girls’ flight is delayed. On Tuesday at midnight I get a call from Sakae saying she wants to meet (that’s the one on the left in the video with the hair tied back and no fringe). Hmmmm. They are doing a day trip to Bath on Wednesday but we make a date for Thursday evening. She asks if she can bring her friend Midori and I say I’ll bring along Suave. They will fly home on Friday so this is looking 50/50 for a lay.

I put on my best clobber and meet them on Oxford Street at half six, with Suave turning up later. Language is strained because they barely speak English. Fortunately my Japanese carries it and I lead them off to the milkshake bar. Things progress nicely as I DHV, tease and put them at ease. We move on to a nearby pub and I give some statements of interest to Sakae and get them to spin around while I rate their fashion out of ten. Like the delightful Japanese girls they are, they are giggling, batting eyelids and doing a show of demure girlish femininity that far outpaces anything an English-speaking girl can manage. I’m reminded why I went through a ten-year stretch of banging nothing but Japanese during my twenties. As much as I’ve been discovering the delights of Eastern Europeans and Mediterraneans I’ve definitely still got the Japs at number one on the world bangability rankings.

We move on to a nearby pub and by now I’ve clearly shown different eye contact and vocal tone with the target. Suave shows up and within five minutes he’s sitting hand in hand with Midori and she’s touching him and giggling with that heady exuberance of a girl in the presence of a man she believes is her superior. Despite sitting next to them, Sakae and I are in isolation. We’re also hand in hand, her leg is thrown over mine and the eye contact is crackling with sexuality. I’m thinking this is close to a done deal. We bounce to a members bar (where the staff must be really wondering about me, cos I show up a couple of times a week with a different hot girl every time). I have Sakae on my sofa and Suave has Midori on his. We might as well be in different venues. I kino escalate on Sakae while across from me Suave and Midori are overcoming the language barrier with childish magic tricks and other body language. It’s cute to watch because Midori is loving it, desperate to fuck, and turning on all the girlish charm she can muster. I get Sakae out into the lobby and try the kiss close.

Krauser, recently

Rebuffed! She apologies, says she’s got a boyfriend in Japan (true – I saw photos of them as she was skipping through her digital camera). I try to defuse it and try again. Still rebuffed. The forebrain/hindbrain conflict is going on because she remains hugging me, shows no sign of wanting to disengage, pupils dilating, but she just won’t kiss. I walk her back into the lounge and Suave has kissed Midori and they are now oh-so-subtley rubbing each other’s crotches underneath a cushion placed over their laps. We stay there another hour and I get rebuffed on another two kiss attempts but its all good natured. Finally at 10pm they leave cos they are getting an early flight. We walk them back to the station and that’s that.

I think if my game had been a little tighter, or if I’d had one more date, then this would’ve been an f-close regardless of the boyfriend. Her forebrain was only just barely holding back the roar of her pussy tingle and her self resolve was fading minute by minute. Oh well, live and learn. I’ve got a Day 2 with a different Jap tomorrow evening.


  1. I’m curious about the advice you receive. Are you planning on posting about that too?

    • Yes. There’ll be a full post – I’m just kinda behind on my field reports. Short answer is it was very useful and the next day I instant-dated a 17yr old Brazilian catwalk model.

  2. Inspirational! I remember some insight on Japanese
    fucking before they kiss in one of these videos,
    I think it was one of the Q&A panels. It’s
    not something I’ve experienced but maybe that
    was what was going on??
    Sounds like logistics was more the problem,
    though, not insufficient persistence. Both you
    and your wing have this “playstation challenge”
    (or whatever) back at your place, it’s a 4-player
    game so you need them to help (or whatever reason
    you come up with). Gets them back to your place.
    Then you need to show her your collection of “goose
    feathers” or whatever in your room (isolation).
    Kudos on the volcano, I bet they never expected that!

  3. Sounds like a bunch of monkey business to me.

  4. My perspective, feel free to ignore it totally: you’re super duper at making friends with girls. The forebrain resistence you’re getting just means you haven’t built enough attraction. Let the girls know you’re in it to win it and start escalating at the first meet.

  5. Highlighting my genetic disproportions and love of tea now? You sir, are going to be the first against the wall when the revolution comes…

  6. Why didn’t you try to f-close without the kiss?

    I’ve been with girls before who didn’t want to kiss me because they didn’t want to get attached, they just wanted to fuck. It does happen and it’s not brought up enough in game. Despite popular belief, you don’t always have to kiss her first.

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  9. are you deep down performance based? is the end result to be a better person or to “get the number”…..women are far more in touch with seeing/feeling/emotional state….

    • It used to be “get the number”. Now I’m much more about being a better person. I’m surprisingly unconcerned about actually getting laid. I’ve had so much sex in my 20s I’m almost indifferent to it, but I’m still too much of a validation-seeker.

  10. I have to agree with Krauser here.

    (Like the delightful Japanese girls they are, they are giggling, batting eyelids and doing a show of demure girlish femininity that far outpaces anything an English-speaking girl can manage.)

    I love the femininity of these girl but i got a huge soft spot for indian women they are very committed royal hard working loving passionate and normaly good cooks also.

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