Men usually have sex for one reason and one alone: he fancies the girl. That’s it. Certainly in my case. Unlike blue pill betas I look at gigolos and male strippers with disgust rather than awe. There are few things I can imagine worse than having sex with an unattractive woman or cavorting around like a clown to a load of vile hootering ‘n’ hollering hen party slags. Seriously, I’d rather flip burgers for minimum wage than get the £75ph these jokers make. Degenerates aside, men have sex for one reason. In contrast, consider this list of reasons girls have given me after I banged them:

• Felt trapped and stale in long-term relationship. Wanted something new and exciting
• Anglophile with fantasy of dating English gentleman
• Seeking to align with a knowledgeable and wise man to guide her life
• Used to controlling men and fascinated by the challenge of seeing if she can do the same to me
• So frustrated after years of avoiding sex because the men are inadequate, ready to jump at the chance as soon as it comes
• On a short holiday and looking for adventure
• Engaged to be married in a traditional country and wants one last taste of freedom
• Good friends with me for a long time and thinking of taking a souvenier memory home when her visa expires
• Loves being dominated against her will so thirsting to be taken
• On holiday out of sight from an extremely restrictive home country so took a rare chance at hedonism
• Wanted to have a threesome and I was the only available man above her attraction threshold
• Unbelieveably turned on by me specifically
• Totally inexperienced and wanted to be broken in by an experienced man
• Boyfriend was out of town and the unexpected chance for consequence-free variety presented itself
• Been reading Fifty Shades Of Grey and on the lookout for someone fitting the bill of her own Christian Grey
• Stressed out from overwork and not getting a chance to meet anyone
• Feeling alone and unappreciated in a foreign country so looking for someone’s life to attach to
• Friends cajoling her to get an English boyfriend
• Never had an SNL before and wondered what it’s like

This is not to deny basic principles that girls only have sex with men who meet their attraction criteria and with whom they feel sufficiently comfortable. However, it’s never as simple as “she likes me”. Men use sex for the physical pleasure and for the psychological validation. Women have many many reasons because it’s a tool to them. Sometimes those reasons are simply to secure positive emotions (or suppress negative emotions) but often they are incomprehensible.

I’ve been back out on a few dates lately and in high spirits after a period of utter laziness and apathy with women. Looking back, I think I was overdoing the poker-face / uninvested aura where I’d not say much, move slowly, and make the girls invest. There’s nothing wrong with it but I have more fun when I’m being active and teasing, making the girl giggle, squeal and pout. So the last few dates I shook off the lethargy and dusted off my old Chick Crack mini-routines. These are little pre-scripted routines you can drop into a conversation at opportune moments to give it spice, up the alpha, and hit an attraction spike. Recent ones I used…

Out shopping

1. That’s so cool

Imagine you’re pottering around a shopping mall or market, looking at clothes, accessories and whatnot. Your attention is suddenly taken by something against the far wall. You tap her shoulder and indicate

• Me: “Wow, that’s really cool!”
• Her: “What? What is it?” (comes closer)
• Me: “Oh… no…. it’s just me” (point at reflection, chuckle)

Do that three or four times during the date as you pass reflective surfaces.

2. I know what she’s thinking

You are walking down the street with the girl on your arm or perhaps sitting on an underground carriage with her leaning into you. You notice some passerby looking at you both, perhaps out of curiosity or boredom. You whisper into your girl’s ear:

• Me: “That girl is totally checking us out”
• Her: “Yes, I noticed”
• Me: “I know what she’s thinking. I can tell”
• Her: “What?”
• Me: “She’s thinking how on earth did she find such a cool guy. She’s jealous”

Again rinse repeat several times during the date until it’s a running joke.

3. That’s because you’re a woman

You’ll be in conversation about how your day went, your future plans and so on. Quite naturally she’ll tell you her minor worries such as trying to decide what to get a friend as a birthday present, or completing some application forms for a job. When she verbalises her confusion or anxiety:

• Me: That’s quite understandable really
• Her: Mmm…..
• Me: With you being a woman
• Her: (doesn’t know what you mean)
• Me: And only having a little woman-sized brain. Like a pea. It can’t be easy using it to make decisions

Hold your ground with a frame of cheerful misogyny and give physical comfort like a little squeeze on her hand or shoulder.

4. That spot over there

I’m walking through Camden Market with my Russian girl spouting the usual jibber-jabber about the area such as this place used to be a stables or that place sells good leather jackets. I point out a stall ten metres away.

• Me: Can you see that retro clothes shop over there, with the red and white sign?
• Her: Yes, I think so
• Me: When we get to that shop, I’m going to kiss you

Then take your sweet time getting there, looking at all sorts of tat in the other stalls while she gets impatient for the kiss.

5. I’m tough

Anytime you are describing an experience that involves (mild) fear or pain, such as a horror movie, a rollercoaster ride, stubbing your toe getting out the bath finish with this flourish:

• Me: There were ten of us in the cinema room with all the lights out watching the movie. It was pretty scary
• Her: (listens)
• Me: Well, I wasn’t scared. Obviously. I’m tough. But everyone else was scared. Possibly even crying.

or

• Me: The sparring was quite hard. We did about twenty minutes in three minute rounds. At one point Lee caught me with a clean right hand, right on the nose
• Her: ouch!
• Me: I didn’t feel anything. Obviously. I’m rock. But it would’ve knocked out a normal man.
• Her: (giggles)
• Me: He probably hurt his hand. My body is like high tensile steel. Touch here. See! It’s like touching a tank isn’t it.

1. Daygame grants you access to hotter women

There’s a rapidly forming consensus in corners of the manosphere that bars are full of ugly annoying sluts while stunning feminine models frollic gazelle-like across every intersection in the daytime. I do believe you get access to better women when the sun is up but let’s not pretend the streets are dripping in quality pussy. Lots of people dislike nightgame due to the loud music, club entry fees, toxic effects of alcohol and bitchy slags with bad attitudes. There’s lots to like about nightgame but these downsides can tend to make you overly-extoll the virtues of daygame as an escape from the dreaded bars. For nightgame to be truly awful you must make daygame seem truly beautiful, and that’s overstating the case. For example the Daygame.com guys market the dream that you can go out for your daily errands and bump into a dozen models willing to give up their numbers (I exaggerate, sorry Andy). It’s not that simple. Not to knock Daygame – their material is excellent and both Tom and Jon are top quality coaches – but they are invested in building the marketing myth that daygame is a panacea. It’s kinda necessary. Daygaming beautiful women sober is a terrifying experience for most men so you have to draw them in with a very shiny lure.

Oxford Street, 2pm, Saturday

Reality – High value women do not sleep with low value men, no matter the time of day. In the beginning you will overestimate your success on the streets because many pretty women are surprised at your pseudo-bold approach and generally happy to extend social politeness. As you improve they’ll see you as an interesting diversion from their day and perhaps even a new friend. But to actually get laid you need a whole lot more and that will take most of you years of hard graft to acquire. Ask yourself why even though on any given weekend one of Daygame, Sasha, PUAmethod, Saturday Sarge or god knows how many others will be running a bootcamp on Oxford Street yet there are still hardly any guys out approaching. The attrition rate is horrendous, well over 90% within a few months. That’s because daygame is no easier than nightgame. When you escape the pressures of nightgame you are just trading them for a different set of pressures. Every top London daygamer went through a long hard grind before he got consistent success. Just like every top nightgamer did.

2. Eastern Europe is the promised land

Quite a few guys are ex-patting whether they be whoremongers, love tourists, or international men of mystery. The case for goes like this: Feminism has ruined Western women, turning them into shreiking bitchy fat sluts who massively overvalue themselves. They’ll make your pick-up a joyless grind and are unsuitable for relationships anyway. In contrast EE is untouched by the evil paw of feminism, still with traditional gender roles intact and many genetically gifted women staying slim, working hard on their appearance, and engaging themselves in genuine hobbies with genuine social skills. In it’s delusional game-denying extreme this myth states that “economic disparities” allow any Western man to just show up, flash his passport and instantly commence the gangbanging of supermodels.

That’ll be the British embassy in the background

Reality – If you can’t get laid in your home country you won’t get laid abroad (the usual “unless you massively lower your standards” exception applies, but anytime I talk about getting laid I always mean with acceptable quality unless otherwise stated). I knocked over four new girls in four weeks in Yugoslavia this summer with probably two more girls to knock over at a later date to make six in total. In terms of quality and quantity its my best performance so far. Robusto did three in the same period and knocked over a fourth in a return sweep-up. Roosh is coy about giving specific numbers but he has written at length about his experiences in the same country. I had broadly similar experiences in Estonia, Lithuania, Latvia, Poland etc. Generally, if I go somewhere for one week and give it a good try I’ll probably get laid once. This seems to be the experience of most decent players who don’t fuck mingers. My success in Europe is only marginally better than in London. If I was to break it into numbers I’d say in any given one hour period I’ll likely see four times as many hot girls in EE and they are generally a point or two hotter but actually getting my dick into them is no easier than London. I’ve got more to shoot at but any given girl is equally difficult to knock over as her London-based compatriot. Which goes back to my answer to myth one – high value women do not sleep with low value men.

3. There is a secret code called Game that, once deployed, will get you girls

Mystery is to blame for this one as he constructed a whole system around suppressing his own childhood trauma by impressing his parents through the proxy of club tarts. Game became a secret system, some kind of Da Vinci Code. Depending on your awareness and budget you can pay a major commercial outfit a thousand notes to attend a mind-blowing reality-shaking pussy-pounding bootcamp, you can self-medicate through the free advice of the manosphere, or perhaps sign into a major forum and take your chances with the blind keyboard jockeys leading the blind lurkers. Whichever route you choose you are peeling back the curtain to view forbidden knowledge and uncover the Blueprint, the algorithms that govern attraction, mastery over which will grant unlimited access to fresh pussy.

hahahaahahahahahahaahaha

Reality – The world really does operate according to barely-understood and rarely-expressed rules that most people are privy only to a small glimpse of. Much of the manosphere is dedicated to excavating these rules, discussing them in a bloggers version of peer review, until a concept is well formed. See the recent discussions on solipsism. However social science is not mathematics, nor even physics. People are reflexive creatures with considerable distribution across many different scales. A deterministic algorithm (such as Mystery Method, or in its most laughable nerd-state Get The Girl) will not get the girl. It’s just a map. There is no secret code that inverts the primary rule of Game that high value women do not sleep with low value men. Knowledge is not execution. In theory there’s no difference between theory and practice. In practice there usually is.

Obscure reference in practice

I’m rather labouring the point here but I suspect most Game myths come from the wishful thinking that there is a shortcut (or “hack”, god I hate that word when applied to the social world) that allows men to circumvent the normal quality control that beautiful high-esteem women employ. When low value PUAs fail to fuck beautiful women, that is an example of the sexual marketplace functioning correctly. Women are designed to weed out the losers upon pain of beta-pregnancy. Much of what comes under the technical advice of Game could be broken down into the following:

• Neutralisation of anti-game, i.e. how not to fuck up and cripple your own value
• Deprograming of feminised thought and behaviour patterns that men develop when captured by the feminine imperative
• Simple rote-learnable examples of things to say and do that help put concepts into practical steps
• A focus on approaching, and how to psych yourself up to do so

None of this is magic. You still need the value.

I’m always looking for the next theoretical leap forward in Game, the concept widely construed as ways of developing positive masculinity and relations with women. The latest concept Bhodi and I have been fleshing out is the meta-game of Reality Weaving. Bear in mind this is an embryonic concept so I’m using my blog to think out loud rather than presenting you will a polished end product. I’ll also be prone to flights of fancy.

Now put a fucking awesome statue on the top

Let’s consider Game as an ancient Greek temple. Numerous pillars stand rooted into the ground upon which a roof rests. These are your pillars of masculine development which you could categorise as finance, health, career, family, friendships, lifestyle for example. When you are an unemployed loser your career and financial pillars are crumbling, or you may institute a juicing program and workout routine to strengthen your health pillars. Ever the iconoclast, over at Count Cervantes I cut the pie according to the personal qualities that emerge when all the pillars are in place, namely presence, vibe, intrigue and mastery. However you operationalise the pillars the central point is that you identify the key areas that build you as a worthwhile man and then set about strengthening your value proposition and excising the tumours. I sometimes call this “building your value”

Resting across the pillars is the roof of Game as traditionally construed. This represents your technical competence in set as expressed in what you do. Are you going out and approaching women? What do you open with? How well do you calibrate to the moment? These are all competencies which are seperately learnable (and analytical entities in themselves) but their ultimate success, their ability to facillitate drawing the woman to you, depend upon how stable the roof rests on the pillars. Put another way, if your value is low it doesn’t much matter what you do in set.

I’ve recently figured out that the temple doesn’t stop at the roof. It’s got a statue on top as the final flourish and this is your Reality Weaving. Perhaps my metaphor is limited, I’m sure I’ll eventually develop a better one, but for current purposes assume I’m essentially talking about another level of Game, something that’s analytically distinct and can be independently improved upon. This is the subject of today’s post

Reality Weaving: Constructing self-perpetuating environmental and behavioural conditions that continually reinforce your active efforts to achieve your goals

Reality Weaving (RW) is the set-design on the stage upon which you perform your life’s play, it’s the director who makes minor adjustments, it’s the choice of cast around you and also it is the self-talk you use to intepret it all. This will take some unpacking….

Evolution has equipped us with a logical forebrain and an emotional hindbrain. Bhodi calls it the monkey (FB) riding the elephant (HB). I think of the forebrain like a dynamic computer processor with access to numerous databanks, able to react on-the-fly to novel situations and the hindbrain as a reactive slumbering Cthulhu-eqsue monster that roars, groans and purrs depending on how it’s inertia-ridden dreams are disturbed by the happenings above the oceanline. Mostly it’s asleep but when things get too far off-course, it rises up and smashes the puny humans. Evolutionarily speaking this duality was an adaptive response to changing environmental situations. Animals directed purely by instinct can only survive in the limited environments that bred them whereas creating a delegation general purpose problem tool called the brain allows humans to live across most physical landscapes and even to reconstruct those landscapes to better fit (e.g. cutting a clearing in a forest to build huts, to dredging Tokyo Bay to make artificial islands). Human evolution went so far as to create sophisticated self-wareness which leads to two interesting points:

• Your hindbrain is the boss and your forebrain is the delegated task master, however
• You (as in, who you refer to when you conceptualise the self) is what lives in the forebrain

Interesting this presents a tension. Your hindbrain doles out rewards and punishments (in the form of happiness, excitement, satisfaction, sadness, pain, anxiety etc) for skillfully / incompetently executing his plans. This makes the hindbrain your partner, but it also makes him your enemy. Where is your loyalty? Do you really care about continuing your genetic line or do you care about being happy and obtaining the postive emotions that are doled out by the hindbrain without much care about the genetics? Much as men are attracted to the signals of fertility rather than actual fertility, I’ll propose that what we really want is happiness.

So let’s clarify – reality weaving is a tool designed to managed, control, cajole and sedate the hindbrain in order to obtain from it the positive emotions that will aid your forebrain in carrying out the forebrain’s agenda. Leave determinist thought of genetic lineage behind. I am talking about liberating the freedom of the will. Let’s bring it back to earth with an example and a metaphor:

looks like Max Stirner

Metaphor: Your hindbrain is a hungry rat placed in a maze, the maze is the environment and your forebrain is the observing scientist who built the maze. The rat will just react to stimuli in the moment going wherever it damn well pleases on a whim. If he can smell food he’ll move towards it, if he has an electric shock behind him he’ll move away from it. At every turn the structure of the maze can channel him down particular paths which the scientist favours. Thus he who controls the maze can exert considerable influence upon he who walks through it. Consider Inception. Or Takeshi’s Castle.

Example: Imagine a fatty who eats rather too much chocolate. To remove in the moment temptation to scoff Dairy Milks the maze can be constructed in ways such as: (i) do not buy reserve stores of chocolate to keep around the house, thus increasing the likelihood that your momentary weakness passes before you put your shoes on and walk to the corner shop (ii) plot a route to work that avoids newspaper shops so you are never in a position of being able to pop in for a snack (iii) avoid the colour purple if it triggers associations with the Dairy Milk brand.

I’ve deliberately used a trite example. All three strategies are enabling the greatest powers of your forebrain (logical processing, long time-orientation) in order to make preparations while the hindbrain is asleep so that when it wakes up it’s passing fancies cannot be enabled. You make hay while the sun shines. Another example…. consider you have approach anxiety / apathy caused by the negative emotions produced by your hindbrain when walking towards girls. Two common strategies for dealing with this are:

• Don’t masturbate for a week so your horniness overcomes your anxiety
• Give a friend £200 at the beginning of the day and he repays you £20 for every approach you do

Both strategies are classic maze-construction. In the former you are creating a sexual energy (positive) that overrules your anxiety and in the second you are creating a fear of loss (negative) that outweighs your fear of approach. Either way you are anticipating your hindbrain’s in the moment response by predeploying against it. Bhodi has my favourite version – A commitment to donate £200 to the spiteful feminist Fawcett Society if he doesn’t complete ten approaches. So that is creating a strong disgust response to overwhelm the anxiety.

These are just snippets of what a full reality weaving looks like, a glimpse of the elephants ear without seeing the full beast yet. I’ll get more into it in another post and try to lay out a conceptual model.

I came back from Yugoslavia with four very hot leads in addition to the girls I’d already knocked over. These are all young very pretty girls who are massively into me but I’d run out of time to clack them. A classic case of “park them in long-game”. These days I’m more aggressive in sexualising girls over teh interwebs, probably because I have greater abundance (and thus care less about losing them) and also I know I’m more attractive than I used to be so the girls are more into me. All four had been giving me heavy makeouts before I hightailed it out their country.

My usual pattern is to draw them into my world, run rapport, and spike the conversation with silly attraction material. Once they are chatting to me regularly I get them to describe what they are wearing, do a sex chat, and get them masturbating. Around this time I’ll find out more about what they like sexually and commence turning them out by chipping away at their barriers to expressing their true sexuality. It’s powerful stuff. Here’s some screen shots of one of my two Serbs chatting…. I begin by asking for feedback on our most recent sex chat from a couple of days earlier. Note how much anchoring she’s been doing while I’m not even there.

It should be pretty clear that girls fantasise alot about sex. This girl is the prototypical Good Girl – she’s 23 and had only one sexual partner, looks quite nerdy. For a long time I struggled with the madonna-whore complex, struggling to believe that good girls love sex. 60 Years of Challenge explains that one well. Men have trouble accepting affection from sluts because they have a natural aversion to forming a long-lasting emotional attachment to a girl who shows signals of likely sleeping-around / cuckoldry. Women know a child is theirs but a man never does and this simple fact explains about half the difference in male and female sexuality. Thus men are inclined to sort women into mutually exclusive categories of those who love sex (Bad Girls) and those who are marriageable (Good Girls). It’s wrong but it took me a long time to unburden myself of this notion – it’s a pretty lie that doesn’t want to perish because men don’t want to give up on the hope that women can really love them unconditionally.

After an hour of running my sexualisation photo routine, which has her well-horny, I start pushing further to see how many barriers I can dissolve in her state of heightened arousal. It’s pretty eye-opening. Note how I’m leading her and giving implicit permission to admit to liking it without incurring my disapproval.

At some point you will trigger her ASD and she’ll wonder whether she’s making a fool out of herself for opening up so much, and whether you do this with all the girls. Expect it. I’ve never not had a girl pull up and question me. Here’s how I handle it, by imposing my frame that this is completely natural and sprinkling in some compliments and triggering memories.

Although I want her to open up I also have to set a few limits so she doesn’t say anything which genuinely disgusts me so I give her a few limits (no bestiality or scat) then we get the ker-ching moment when she finally admits to something big….

For a long time I was hesitant to go so deep with girls because I simply didn’t understand how dirty they are. I’ve since had a bunch of Good Girls admit to this kind of thing. They love it in the ass, DP, all kinds of things. Mostly they are keeping their secret fantasies and don’t even realise themselves that this is what they actually want in reality (the number of times I’ve heard a fantasy related with “I’d never actually do this” and then she subsequently does it). My Secret Garden is for real. Hopefully this chat will make it more real for you guys.

Here’s something I stumbled upon while facebooking chatting an ex-GF. Say words to the effect of “I found a great website today. It’s a collection of sex-themed photos where the writer leaves a comment telling you the one thing she loves about the photo. Some are porn but alot are just art or fashion” then send her this link (NSFW). Direct her to choose her favourite / most interesting five photos and tell you why she likes them. Then you can do the same. Apart from being a fun lively chat, it also achieves the following.

The tamest on the site

1. Normalises sex and in particular kinky sex. By presenting all different kinds of sexual themes in one highly cheerful / positive site, you are giving yourselves permission to talk about stuff that might be difficult without such a prop.
2. You are eliciting values to find out the kind of things she’s into where taking them all in combination you really get a feel for how she is sexually wired. Your choices do that same.
3. She’ll get turned on and associate sex with you. In this state of heightened arousal barriers come down and you can progress the sexualisation, maybe turn it into a sex chat (which itself is based on the information you now know about what she likes – women will tell you how to seduce them).
4. By getting her to go first (or take turns, her first) you can calibrate your responses if you’re not sure she’ll go for it. If she chooses the non-porn images you know to soft-pedal a little, maybe wait until your fourth or fifth choice to choose a porn image.
5. You both have plausible deniability. It’s generalised sex talk (to use my verbal escalation terminology). You are commenting on someone else’s content.

It gets far steamier

I wouldn’t break this stuff out until you’ve already reached the point where you are fucking (and thus this is spice to your future sex) or you’ve basically got her to the point of wanting to fuck (e.g. late stage of Long Game) and you are getting her off sexually in the interim while waiting for the logistics to clear.

I recently tweeted:

What is your magic number that, once hit, takes away the relentless urge to bang more girls? Mine was 50. For a few friends it was 100.

Every man with 100+ lays is either a fuck up or a former fuck up

Sitting in my lounge yesterday with my buddies listening to music it occured to me that although my lay count is huge compared to “normal men” it was by far the lowest in the room. There’s Lee with 100+ at the tender age of twenty four. Robusto is on 98, Jambone somewhere north of 150, both Tony and Steve are considerably above 300. No wonder girls are a little intimidated when they come to my house, they can sniff out the sexual experience like dogs.

To an outside observer, or a wannabe PUA still struggling to knock over a new girl every few months, it’s easy to be impressed with these notch counts. You may have even just subconsciously ranked the men in my house placing Steve and Tony at the top (and me at the bottom!). If so then I’m afraid you’ve been cognitively captured by the weirdness of the PUA lifestyle and fallen into it’s messed-up frame. Lays are like money – the people with the most of it don’t think it’s such a big deal and don’t go round conspicuously bragging, they tend to be distrustful of the men who shout it from the rooftops. All the men I named have moved on from relentlessly acquiring notches.

gratuitous

As soon as Lee hit 100 (I think she was a girl in Malia he fucked in the nightclub toilets. He was the inbetween fuck of her three lays that night) he wanted a girlfriend. A switch flipped in his mind and he no longer cared about SNLing, even turning them down frequently. He’s now in a long relationship with a girl he likes.

Robusto has fallen big-time for a sweetly feminine Croatian girl. He wants to make her number 100 when they are in the same city again, so he’s knocking over a couple of sure things to get to 99 before boarding the flight. Yes, that’s both messed up and very romantic. I wonder if she wins a new car too. We don’t see Jambone much but he’s much more interested in running his businesses and setting up his geographical and financial independence. He’s turned down alot of lays in 2012. Tony is doing his own version of the same, far more interested in his personal interests and lifestyle design than clacking new birds. Steve is also in an exclusive relationship and has written about his laycount here.

So why is it that a group of guys with hard-earned finely-honed skills to bang women, a skill most of you dear readers would love to have, are basically refusing to use that skill? Based on conversations with these and other guys, plus my own person experience I’d put it this way….

All men are hard-wired with desire to sow their seed widely and constantly chase sexual novelty. Most of the time society sets restrictions on how much you can do this (e.g. social conventions on monogamy and dating) or sublimates it into over avenues (e.g. porn) which results in societally wide low median laycounts. Some men stumble upon success with women and break out. It’s exciting, like being let loose in a supermarket sweep, so we run hog wild clacking everything we can. It’s tremendously ego-gratifying. The problem is that men who are capable of forming secure attachments will quite quickly run into a woman they really like and want to date. This temporarily eliminates one of the necessary conditions to achieving a high laycount – time in the field. Dating just one girl for a year can knock 10-60 lays off a player’s final count as an opportunity cost.

Thus most guys with very high laycounts are the ones with attachment issues, men who have studiously avoided dating nice women and pushed them away. It’s a strange metaphor but I think the psychology is similar to serial killers. These men tend to be drifters and don’t hold down real career jobs, often forming fleeting alliances with other like-minded males. They are also driven by a relentless pressure to keep finding new girls, like wolves at their door. I don’t want to overstate the case – players are just having fun with women, not murdering them!

Each lay is delivering a dopamine hit, placating Relentless Notch Count Hyena for another week, pouring more water into the leaky bucket. And then at some point you turn a corner, whether it’s a change in your life circumstances, the result of conscious inner game work, a good trip on mushrooms….. the leaks get plugged. Then you hit your magic number and RNCH packs his bags and slinks away tail between his legs. As he disappears from view you hear some yapping behind you. You turn around and meet Secure Attachment Pug wagging his little tail and licking your hand with his little tongue.

While this process is ongoing you’ll find your attitudes to women and sex change. In the beginning you select women for silly reasons (mostly availability) and treat every moment between opener and f-close as a grind to be endured. It’s a quantity-based approach to pour as much filthy water into the leaky bucket as possible. Gradually you transition towards quality as you become competent enough to insist upon it. The water is cleaner but the bucket is still leaky. And then finally, like Angelsinn commented here, you are no longer screening based on quantity or quality – you are zeroing in on precisely the feminine girls you like because now every moment between opener and f-close is a pleasure. The leaky bucket is repaired, RNCH makes way for SAP, and while your notch rate slows your overall satisfaction with life rises.