Men have so many wrong ideas about women. That’s natural, because we’re in a different sexual role and we all fall prey to projection. One common wrong-headed idea is to see a really hot girl and think:

She must have so many options!

Women are all about the quality of options, not the number. We can see a girl post an attention-whoring selfie on Facebook to draw 100 likes and fill her chodestream. Wow, so many options! No, that’s projection. If a man drew 100 likes from girls he’d naturally assume 90 of them want to fuck him (and he’d be right) and he’d then start mining the seam of all the pretty ones. The girl’s problem is that those likes are low quality attention. It validates her but doesn’t solve her pressing sexual needs.

She wants high quality male attention and that’s a scarce resource. She can’t draw it with a selfie.

How dare she!

All girls have an Attraction Threshold below which the men are insignificant and might as well be furniture. Above that threshold are the “hot” and “interesting” men. The specifics of this depend on the girl. Some like jacked young douchebags. Some like mature men with gravitas. Some are all about the money and handbags. Each girl has her particular preferences and only certain men meet them and rise above the threshold.

Once you’re above her threshold you are now a scarce resource. She won’t just blow you off, ignore your texts and so on (except as a tactic in the mating dance). Some girls have an exceedingly high (or exceedingly narrow) attraction threshold and those girls seem difficult until you figure it out. The process is actually very simple:

1. Girl has unusually specific requirements in her man. For example if she’s a tall, intelligent fashion model with family money she’ll be very specific because so many pillars of her innate hypergamy can’t be easily found in one man.
2. All day every day, the men she meets don’t come close to her attraction threshold. She never meets the man who makes her ears perk up. On the rare cases it happens, something happens on the date to burst the bubble and disappoint her.
3. After years without sex she gives up on men. Her sex drive goes into hibernation and she focuses all her attention on other pursuits.
4. She’s dismissive of the men who hit on her. She has a learned helplessness – “I’ll waste my time and emotional investment getting to know this man and inevitably be disappointed. So why bother. Just screen them out. I’ll never find a man. Better not to look. It’ll just depress me.”
5. You come along. She’s perked up and tries to No-Filter you to oblivion. She seems to difficult. What a bitch.
6. You persevere. You’re a trained player and this is a puzzle you might be able to solve. Finally, against her better judgement, frustration and hope put her on a Day 2 with you.
7. After an initially frosty and defeatist beginning, she starts to warm to you. She’s enjoying this. She doesn’t really know what to do. She’s never been on a date so long without something going wrong.
8. And then – ping! – something happens and her defeatism falls away. She realises you are not fucking up. “This man might actually be what I’ve been dreaming about all these barren years”
9. “Fuck! He is! Finally, a man I can fuck!”

And then it’s in the bag. You are the scarcest of resources. All of that pent-up horniness bubbles up and the volcano explodes. The girl will now chase you. You are the only one who can deliver her. And just like that – often there’s a very particular easy-to-see moment on the date – she flips 180 from being a dismissive, difficult princess to her being a total chode.

 * EDIT – I probably didn’t make it clear enough but I’m talking about a particular sub-category of girl here (the “supply problem” girl) who has very little sex because of her excessively restrictive standards. I’ve laid a bunch of them who haven’t had sex in as much as four years before meeting me and all had tiny lay counts. These girls loved sex, they just struggled to find someone who could switch them on. So I’m describing the process I noticed when dating them. If you meet a girl who hasn’t had sex in over six months but who clearly isn’t frigid, she might be one of these. During the questions game, asking “when did you last have sex” is an easy way to probe.

I know I’m labouring the point but it’s important to repeatedly stress the benefits of leaping from the K-selection ladder to the R-selection stratosphere. They are two different worlds with completely different rules. There are a couple of good bloggers who live the international man of mystery lifestyle. I like what they are doing. They’ve unplugged and are giving detailed advice on how to follow in their footsteps. Sometimes their material is downright inspirational.

artist’s impression

But I think it confused r/K somewhat. What they recommend is different to what I do. So allow me to split some hairs and explain the difference*

I’ve spent one month in a pleasant FSU city, all of it in the Old Town. That’s a small place where you constantly run into the same people over and over. I’m constantly bumping into girls I know while another girl is on my arm. Let me list them chronologically**:

1. Jelena is a long-term rotation girl who I bang every time I visit, since mid-2012. She doesn’t have a boyfriend and is focused on her new career, so I’m the sex guy she comes to for a rogering that won’t otherwise upset her life pattern. First night I arrived in town she came round and I took her anal virginity. A week later I fingered her in a cafe.
2. Anya is a Russian I closed in Estonia last November. She flew down the first weekend of my trip for a three day visit. She’s back home now, pestering me for the next trip.
3. Jovanna is a folk singer I closed December 2012 and has been something of a primadonna since. On a whim I messaged her when I arrived and she was in town so we had coffee and made out. A week later she’s back in town so we fuck. I’m now her sex guy when she’s in town.
4. Milicia is a young student who I opened in my first week. She didn’t reply to my feeler text until I’m walking through a park with Anya and bump into her sitting on a bench with her boyfriend. Now she messages me, we have a date a couple of days later, and a booty call one day later. She’s now a fuck buddy.
5. Bojana is a young girl I opened last year on a residential with Tom. Occasional FB chat because she likes me but has a boyfriend of four years. I get her on a date and bang her within an hour. She’s since bumped into me when I’m with Natalija and Vedrana. She doesn’t care, still wants to see me.
6. Dragana is a thirty-year old girl who has barely had sex. I open her this trip, escalate hard on the date, and booty call her next date for the close. I told her I’m a player and she’s still pestering me for casual sex.
7. Natalija is a 19 year old fashion model with a long-distance boyfriend she met when she was 16 and her only prior sexual partner. I banged her on the second date and now she’s a fuck buddy. Last time I fucked her she said “you should give my boyfriend sex lessons”
8. Radmila is a 26 year old girl who dated me three days before going on a one-month holiday with her boyfriend. She said she’d had sex a couple of days before our date but I still took her home that night. She’s asking if I’ll still be here when she gets back.
9. Vedrana is a 22 year old virgin I met on the same 2013 residential with Tom. She was scared but let me take her virginity last week. Before that happened, she bumped into me while I was with Anya.
10. Marija is an 18 year old who I had on my bed sucking my cock on the second date. Three hours before the booty call sex date she messaged me “I can’t see you for a while, my boyfriend found out”. We are still messaging, waiting for it to blow over.

“Do you have an hour spare later today?”

I have a tendency to preen on this blog but note some key points.

• Four of these girls had boyfriends and step out on them to fuck me. A fifth is highly likely. They all talk like it’s matter-of-fact and no big deal.
• Three of these girls “caught” me with other girls and didn’t complain. Twice it was before the sex and they came to me anyway. One of those was a virgin.
• All of these girls are using me as their “good sex guy” and don’t make any demands on my time other than the sex.
• I’ve been here one month. I haven’t been clubbing, I don’t have any local friends or “connects”.

This is completely different to the K-selected idea of an MLTR. I don’t have to tell lies to any of them. I make it clear I’m a player and then don’t rub their noses in the details. There are no dinner dates, walks around the park and except for Anya I never hold their hands in public. I’m not installing these girls into apartments like mistresses, buying them iPads, or establishing a position in their social circles. I’ve not met a single friend or family member of any of them. The entire relationship is a one-on-one discreet secret. We share affection and connection – we have true moments of the Love Bubble, it’s not “empty sex” – but it’s not a boyfriend/girlfriend thing.

It’s okay to have K-selected MLTRS, it’s just that for my personality type it’s such a……. ball ache. If you can communicate from the very first seconds of the street stop that you’re the Lover then that’s the track you’ll stay on the whole time. Girls have a severe disconnect between Lovers and Providers. Don’t mix the signals. Project R-selection and then you can cut through all of the bullshit that surrounds a K-selection relationship.

Just imagine…. no more time dicking around learning the local language, no social circle obligations taking you away from CounterStrike, no stupid salsa nights, and no looking over your shoulder in case one girl busts you on a date with another.

My priority, yesterday

So decide what you want. If you want a long-term boyfriend-girlfriend / sponsor-moll / daddy-girl relationship then go the K-route and do not feel ashamed of it. That route give a certain experience that can be very fullfilling, especially if you’re a man who prioritises affection needs. If the lifestyle I just outlined is more your thing then you must go the r-selection route.

To learn how to meet girls on the r-selection path, consider my textbook Daygame Mastery

* and if I’ve misconstrued your message, feel free to correct me in the comments.

** names changed, obviously.

Writing shortly after the carnage of World War Two ceased, Joseph Campbell released The Hero With A Thousand Faces. He contended that there is a fundamental narrative that is told and retold throughout the great stories of history. Beginning with Bart Homer and stretching forwards to airport bookstore paperbacks and Kung Fu Panda, there is one story – the “monomyth” – rooted deep in the human need for storytelling.

A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man

That sounds kinda familiar……

The monomyth has been hard-coded into screen-writing advice given to Hollywood scriptwriters – have you ever noticed how every big movie seems to follow the same structure? They call it the Eight Point Story Arc but it’s just a stripped-down monomyth. Some Hollywood writers have even self-consciously structured their movie around Campbell’s model. Consider this comparison (source article here, I recommend you read his full discussion):

I contend that, due to some combination of evolution and cultural tradition, we naturally try to insert ourselves into a personalised monomyth. Read this next section and consider the typical “player’s journey” story, be it this blog or of course Neil Strauss’s famous work of fiction biography.

In a monomyth, the hero player begins in the ordinary blue pill world, and receives a call reads Roissy to enter an unknown world of strange powers game and events hot girls. The hero chode who accepts the call to enter this strange world start cold approaching must face tasks and trials rejection, either alone or with assistance an approach coach. In the most intense versions of the narrative (Tom Torero / Nick Krauser), the hero must survive a severe challenge, often with help. If the hero survives, he may achieve a great gift or “boon” intermediate game. The hero must then decide whether to return to the ordinary world with this boon start writing a blog or coaching. If the hero does decide to return, he or she often faces challenges on the return journey haters. If the hero returns successfully, the boon or gift may be used to improve the world fund a location-independent income from which to euro-jaunt forever.

There’s a reason we insert ourselves into the monomyth. We all like to self-aggrandise and mythologise our own journeys. Not only does it feel good but – more importantly – it cloaks a timid and highly unpredictable challenge with an air of inevitability. When watching movies we see the hero get into desperate straits and feel the dramatic tension but we know he’ll get out of it. Half of the excitement is waiting to find out what ingenious wheeze he’ll use to solve the problem.

The monomyth is a great meta-level inner game hack. By inserting ourselves into a grand narrative, the result of which is pre-determined, we calm all those “can I really make it?” voices that may otherwise cause us to give up.

Embrace the monomyth. Create your own. Let the power of mythology push you through the hard times and into the Final Act of….. younger, hotter, tighter.

Indulge me for a moment while I preen.

I’ve been out on a euro-jaunt with Bodi and Jabba (and Tom for the first week) since May 10th. In that time I’ve banged seven girls aged 22, 29, 24, 20, 20, 30 and 19 while I’ve also had my dick in the mouth of a 23 and 18 year old. I’m feeling pretty damn good about myself and it really brought something into perspective.

“you are only as old as the woman your feel” Groucho Marx

Game is allowing me to relive my youth. When I was 24 years old I met a 23 year old Japanese girl who became my wife. As I aged so did she and it was a very pleasant time in my life. Then, as regular readers are well aware, she left me and I was suddenly 34 years old and single. I really believed my youth was over. I’d had my time in the sun and now I was entering middle age. Perhaps even a mid-life crisis would beckon and I’d take up scuba-diving or cross fit or something.

Suddenly seemed rather fascinating…

Oh no! How things were to change….

There’s no such thing as a mid-life crisis for men. As Rollo very precisely explains, “mid-life crisis” is a feminine shaming term for the melancholy and restlessness a man feels when his wife is getting old. Put a nubile 20 year old girl in his bed and he’ll feel the fresh air of youth all over again.

Two days ago on a first date with an 18 year old, she asked my age. As usual I asked her to guess. She guessed 25 (I’m 39). Now that’s an extreme example but girls regularly comment that I’m young at heart, both looking and acting far more youthful than my age. I asked her what she thought about the 21 year age gap – “If you were from this country perhaps I wouldn’t talk to you, I’d expect you to have a family and be boring. But…. I don’t know. You’re English, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t seem strange. It’s normal to date an older man I think.”

An alternate strategy, yesteryear

Since time immemorial people have searched for the fountain of everlasting youth. Countess Bathory bathed in the blood of virgins in her seventeenth century castle. The Crusaders fought their way East chasing the Holy Grail. Whole legends detail the quest for youth. Humans don’t just fear mortality, they fear getting old.

Instinctively we are repelled by people who get old before their time. At university I had a friend called Mark. We used to call him “trainee middle-aged” because he seemed determined to lock himself down to the accounting job / wife / surburban home as quickly as possible. He couldn’t wait to turn into his dad and did so around age 23. He skipped most of his youth. Madness. James Dean he wasn’t.

One pernicuous effect of the Blue Pill is it functions like early-onset Alzheimers. A fresh-faced new graduate will stroll into London with a head full of dreams and a life of opportunity stretching ahead. Within two years he’ll have a wardrobe of blue shirts and M&S suits, a credit card balance and a career-oriented girlfriend. Another couple of years and they’ve moved in together and go to Ikea on weekends. That stuff ages you.

Game is the real fountain of youth. Done correctly you stay forever young in mind and spirit. Twenty years after fucking your 20yr old university co-eds you get to fuck them all over again. It’s like a time machine.

Yes, Daygame Mastery is written by H.G. Wells.

For the gold standard in daygame instruction, try my new book Daygame Mastery.

Chaps, here is a long discussion I recorded with Tom Torero on what male SMV is and how to deliver it through the various types of game.

Oh my god…. I can’t believe it! Nick has written a directly-practical post without any mental masturbation……

Lampost
Imagine you’re walking out of Venue Two on your first date. You’ve already regaled your girl with funny stories and interesting takes on historical events so she’s been giggling. Her hand went soft when you inspected her nail polish and now as you walk down the street perhaps she’s “accidently” bumping into you. It sounds like the kiss is on, but she hasn’t quite put herself into position.

Perhaps the venue seating arrangements screwed you. Your favourite booth in the corner was taken so you ended up sitting opposite each other in rickety chairs with a coffee table between you. You tried pulling her in a little and she didn’t seem to take the hint. Hmmmmmm. What to do? You have to make your move before the window closes and you stall out. Time for a gambit.

Pick a visible feature on the street about twenty metres away. A lampost, a letter box, a shop front. Whatever. Then as you’re comfortably walking side by side, point at it.

Venue 2.5

You: Can you see that letter box over there?
Her: Where?
You: There, the red one.
Her: Yes
You: When we get there, I’m going to kiss you.

Her reaction doesn’t matter. Maybe she giggles and goes red. Maybe she goes silent. Maybe she pushes back with “no you won’t”. None of that matters. You are Making Your Move so you must follow through. It doesn’t matter if you actually get the kiss, it matters that you were ballsy and calm about going for it.

Don’t rush. Perhaps deliberately go silent as you walk, letting her head spin with anticipation. Don’t babble. If she seemed playfully receptive then make a joke out of taking your sweet time. Fasten your shoelace, check out a shop window – so she knows you’re deliberately dragging out the moment.

And once you arrive at the letter box, turn her to face you, tilt up her chin with your fingertip, and kiss her.

Success

GoogleTranslate
I’ve spent a lot of time honing my girl-doesn’t-speak-English first dates. It’s really not as tough as it sounds so long as you have wi-fi and GoogleTranslate app on your phone. So imagine you’re sitting back in a lounge chair in the dark upstairs room of a cafe. She’s on the seat next to you. She seems to like you and the physical escalation has been all amber or green lights, but the verbal escalation is clumsy.

You’ve already written “I like your eyes. Big and crazy, like a raccoon” which got a giggle. What now? You’re in seperate seats with big arm-rests. Even if she wanted to, she can’t put herself into position for the kiss. But she’s perched on the edge of her seat while you lounge in yours. When you leaned in to tell a story she never retreated to maintain distance. Ok, it’s probably on. How to bridge the gap?

Hold up your finger in the “wait a minute, I want to say something” manner and then type into your phone:

“I’m going to kiss you in thirty seconds”

Look playfully serious, like you are choosing your words carefully. Be patient. Then hit Translate and hand her the phone. She’ll likely give a deer-in-headlights look. Hold your frame. Look peaceably at her and don’t fidget or fill the gap. She’ll start typing. Something like:

“I hesitate”

Take the phone back, and with a thoughtful expression type:

“20 seconds”

Let her stew. Don’t say anything. Be calm, like the oak tree. Then type “10 seconds” and show her that.

Finally, sit up on your chair and take her hands. Put them over your shoulders and pull her in for the kiss.

Might as well agree logistics while you’re at it

These two gambits are easy and yet appear super-ballsy. She gets to experience your sense of purpose and direction, while also getting precious delicious moments of anticipation.

While travelling in Moscow, dependable first-gen daygamers Tom and Ramy were having a lot of idates and screening coffees. The further you travel East, the more false positives FSU girls give you and this creates its own set of problems. In the beginning you’re wide-eyed – “wow! so many super-hotties and they all want to come on dates with me!” you think.

Not so, sir

After your fifth consecutive date-to-nowhere you realise shininess is a double-edged sword. It doesn’t matter that she’s a 5’11” greyhound with heels and immaculate fashion if she’s only there to practice her English and gaze at the strange species Homus Englishski. The new problem of False Abundance is you have so many phone numbers you have to write them all down and keep an Excel document for scheduling dates.

A dirty rotten timewaster, yesterday

I once dated 21 different girls in 7 days. Only fucked three of them (and another two on a return visit after long game).

The positive edge to the sword is you can practice hardcore screening and escalation. That’s the kind of thing that let’s you finger three different girls on three consecutive days inside cafes in mid-afternoon (story and audio to follow). You are so concerned to avoid wasting time (rather than avoid losing the girl) that you can push hard. Now, fingering them fast may be something of an over-compensation so let’s instead consider a strategy Ramy developed.

During the questions game, ask this:
“What do you like about me?”

Really, you can be this blunt with Russians. Once you’re used to it, you’ll find you can be that blunt with any girl. The authenticity shines through and cuts the crap. Generally I’ll ask this question after I’ve done the Age and Approach debrief questions. Girls will always answer it and you can calibrate from their response.

• “I like that you are native speaker so I can practice my English” = probably a timewaster, expect to need to give her The Talk later
• “You are so bold and direct, like real man” = great, you’ll be making The Move soon
• “You are interesting, with much life experience” = great, continue your MIMITW game

Girls tell you how to seduce them if only you are perceptive enough to process their words. So I’ve been using this question on almost every Day 2, especially for daylight coffee screening dates when my evenings are already occupied with Day 3s and 4s. Just last night while out with a pretty young student I realised there’s an extra advantage to asking this question…….

We are all well-aware that girls are creatures of the Now, buffeted around by whimsy and emotion. Just because she’s feeling vague woolly feelings of attraction for you now does not mean she will do so tomorrow morning when the love bubble has burst. So it’s good to lock it down.

Moving hands south imminently

Right now, on the Day 2, she’s feeling good. Her hindbrain likes you, but perhaps your game has been so smooth and covertly-conveyed that her forebrain hasn’t really engaged with it. She’s got this odd forebrain/hindbrain conflict where the latter likes you but the former hasn’t gotten the message. Thus the attraction is epheramel – it depends on her hindbrain, which blows around like a ship on a stormy sea. So even if you kiss her she might wake up the next morning not fancying you much. The date is just compartmentalised as a “nice experience” and the notch recedes from view.

So force her forebrain to acknowledge that she likes you.

It will crystallise the fact of “I like him” so that the next morning it’s accepted, and durable through time. This question uses the hindbrain pleasure of the love bubble to force the forebrain to get on board, and she actively constructs the reasons for her answer. You’ve given her Forebrain Fodder.

I am proud to announce the launch of Daygame Nitro second edition. I know what you’re thinking….

“I torrented the first edition and feel a bit guilty about it. How can I ever restore my daygame karma?”

Repent, sinner. I’m giving you the second chance you scarcely deserve. If you head over to Lulu and buy this book I guarantee the daygame gods will push two teenage tourist SDLs your way within a week.*  The video below goes through the content and flicks through a paper copy so you can see exactly what you’ll be getting.

To summarise, here’s answers to the obvious questions:

1. What is new in the second edition?
The first edition was 36,000 words. I rewrote all of those and added an extra 30,000. So it’s almost double the size. Some chapters have been expanded (for example a long sexual future projection in the idate chapter) while some entirely new chapters are added on Vibe, Emotional Rollercoaster, Polarity, Connection, Physical Escalation, SMV and Cold Reading. Click the preview on the Lulu page for full contents.

2. The first edition looks like your mum did the graphic design. Does this one look better?
Yes. I paid professional copy editors to clean up the prose, a layout guy to make it look nice, and also commissioned custom interior / cover art and a flowchart girl.

3. Who is it aimed at?
Nitro is designed to get a beginner up to intermediate level (one new lay a month), whereas Mastery is meant to get one-a-month up to three-a-month and a point higher in quality. So long as you’ve done at least fifty sets the concepts of Nitro will connect well with your experience.

4. I don’t like these hardbacks. When is the Kindle coming out?
I really don’t know. I’m not averse to it, but nothing is planned in the near future.

Note interior is in B/W

Buy DAYGAME NITRO here

* Complete lie. Guarantee is pure fabrication.