Men have so many wrong ideas about women. That’s natural, because we’re in a different sexual role and we all fall prey to projection. One common wrong-headed idea is to see a really hot girl and think:
She must have so many options!
Women are all about the quality of options, not the number. We can see a girl post an attention-whoring selfie on Facebook to draw 100 likes and fill her chodestream. Wow, so many options! No, that’s projection. If a man drew 100 likes from girls he’d naturally assume 90 of them want to fuck him (and he’d be right) and he’d then start mining the seam of all the pretty ones. The girl’s problem is that those likes are low quality attention. It validates her but doesn’t solve her pressing sexual needs.
She wants high quality male attention and that’s a scarce resource. She can’t draw it with a selfie.
All girls have an Attraction Threshold below which the men are insignificant and might as well be furniture. Above that threshold are the “hot” and “interesting” men. The specifics of this depend on the girl. Some like jacked young douchebags. Some like mature men with gravitas. Some are all about the money and handbags. Each girl has her particular preferences and only certain men meet them and rise above the threshold.
Once you’re above her threshold you are now a scarce resource. She won’t just blow you off, ignore your texts and so on (except as a tactic in the mating dance). Some girls have an exceedingly high (or exceedingly narrow) attraction threshold and those girls seem difficult until you figure it out. The process is actually very simple:
- Girl has unusually specific requirements in her man. For example if she’s a tall, intelligent fashion model with family money she’ll be very specific because so many pillars of her innate hypergamy can’t be easily found in one man.
- All day every day, the men she meets don’t come close to her attraction threshold. She never meets the man who makes her ears perk up. On the rare cases it happens, something happens on the date to burst the bubble and disappoint her.
- After years without sex she gives up on men. Her sex drive goes into hibernation and she focuses all her attention on other pursuits.
- She’s dismissive of the men who hit on her. She has a learned helplessness – “I’ll waste my time and emotional investment getting to know this man and inevitably be disappointed. So why bother. Just screen them out. I’ll never find a man. Better not to look. It’ll just depress me.”
- You come along. She’s perked up and tries to No-Filter you to oblivion. She seems to difficult. What a bitch.
- You persevere. You’re a trained player and this is a puzzle you might be able to solve. Finally, against her better judgement, frustration and hope put her on a Day 2 with you.
- After an initially frosty and defeatist beginning, she starts to warm to you. She’s enjoying this. She doesn’t really know what to do. She’s never been on a date so long without something going wrong.
- And then – ping! – something happens and her defeatism falls away. She realises you are not fucking up. “This man might actually be what I’ve been dreaming about all these barren years”
- “Fuck! He is! Finally, a man I can fuck!”
And then it’s in the bag. You are the scarcest of resources. All of that pent-up horniness bubbles up and the volcano explodes. The girl will now chase you. You are the only one who can deliver her. And just like that – often there’s a very particular easy-to-see moment on the date – she flips 180 from being a dismissive, difficult princess to her being a total chode.
* EDIT – I probably didn’t make it clear enough but I’m talking about a particular sub-category of girl here (the “supply problem” girl) who has very little sex because of her excessively restrictive standards. I’ve laid a bunch of them who haven’t had sex in as much as four years before meeting me and all had tiny lay counts. These girls loved sex, they just struggled to find someone who could switch them on. So I’m describing the process I noticed when dating them. If you meet a girl who hasn’t had sex in over six months but who clearly isn’t frigid, she might be one of these. During the questions game, asking “when did you last have sex” is an easy way to probe.