I know I’m labouring the point but it’s important to repeatedly stress the benefits of leaping from the K-selection ladder to the R-selection stratosphere. They are two different worlds with completely different rules. There are a couple of good bloggers who live the international man of mystery lifestyle. I like what they are doing. They’ve unplugged and are giving detailed advice on how to follow in their footsteps. Sometimes their material is downright inspirational.
But I think it confused r/K somewhat. What they recommend is different to what I do. So allow me to split some hairs and explain the difference*
I’ve spent one month in a pleasant FSU city, all of it in the Old Town. That’s a small place where you constantly run into the same people over and over. I’m constantly bumping into girls I know while another girl is on my arm. Let me list them chronologically**:
- Jelena is a long-term rotation girl who I bang every time I visit, since mid-2012. She doesn’t have a boyfriend and is focused on her new career, so I’m the sex guy she comes to for a rogering that won’t otherwise upset her life pattern. First night I arrived in town she came round and I took her anal virginity. A week later I fingered her in a cafe.
- Anya is a Russian I closed in Estonia last November. She flew down the first weekend of my trip for a three day visit. She’s back home now, pestering me for the next trip.
- Jovanna is a folk singer I closed December 2012 and has been something of a primadonna since. On a whim I messaged her when I arrived and she was in town so we had coffee and made out. A week later she’s back in town so we fuck. I’m now her sex guy when she’s in town.
- Milicia is a young student who I opened in my first week. She didn’t reply to my feeler text until I’m walking through a park with Anya and bump into her sitting on a bench with her boyfriend. Now she messages me, we have a date a couple of days later, and a booty call one day later. She’s now a fuck buddy.
- Bojana is a young girl I opened last year on a residential with Tom. Occasional FB chat because she likes me but has a boyfriend of four years. I get her on a date and bang her within an hour. She’s since bumped into me when I’m with Natalija and Vedrana. She doesn’t care, still wants to see me.
- Dragana is a thirty-year old girl who has barely had sex. I open her this trip, escalate hard on the date, and booty call her next date for the close. I told her I’m a player and she’s still pestering me for casual sex.
- Natalija is a 19 year old fashion model with a long-distance boyfriend she met when she was 16 and her only prior sexual partner. I banged her on the second date and now she’s a fuck buddy. Last time I fucked her she said “you should give my boyfriend sex lessons”
- Radmila is a 26 year old girl who dated me three days before going on a one-month holiday with her boyfriend. She said she’d had sex a couple of days before our date but I still took her home that night. She’s asking if I’ll still be here when she gets back.
- Vedrana is a 22 year old virgin I met on the same 2013 residential with Tom. She was scared but let me take her virginity last week. Before that happened, she bumped into me while I was with Anya.
- Marija is an 18 year old who I had on my bed sucking my cock on the second date. Three hours before the booty call sex date she messaged me “I can’t see you for a while, my boyfriend found out”. We are still messaging, waiting for it to blow over.
I have a tendency to preen on this blog but note some key points.
- Four of these girls had boyfriends and step out on them to fuck me. A fifth is highly likely. They all talk like it’s matter-of-fact and no big deal.
- Three of these girls “caught” me with other girls and didn’t complain. Twice it was before the sex and they came to me anyway. One of those was a virgin.
- All of these girls are using me as their “good sex guy” and don’t make any demands on my time other than the sex.
- I’ve been here one month. I haven’t been clubbing, I don’t have any local friends or “connects”.
This is completely different to the K-selected idea of an MLTR. I don’t have to tell lies to any of them. I make it clear I’m a player and then don’t rub their noses in the details. There are no dinner dates, walks around the park and except for Anya I never hold their hands in public. I’m not installing these girls into apartments like mistresses, buying them iPads, or establishing a position in their social circles. I’ve not met a single friend or family member of any of them. The entire relationship is a one-on-one discreet secret. We share affection and connection – we have true moments of the Love Bubble, it’s not “empty sex” – but it’s not a boyfriend/girlfriend thing.
It’s okay to have K-selected MLTRS, it’s just that for my personality type it’s such a……. ball ache. If you can communicate from the very first seconds of the street stop that you’re the Lover then that’s the track you’ll stay on the whole time. Girls have a severe disconnect between Lovers and Providers. Don’t mix the signals. Project R-selection and then you can cut through all of the bullshit that surrounds a K-selection relationship.
Just imagine…. no more time dicking around learning the local language, no social circle obligations taking you away from CounterStrike, no stupid salsa nights, and no looking over your shoulder in case one girl busts you on a date with another.
So decide what you want. If you want a long-term boyfriend-girlfriend / sponsor-moll / daddy-girl relationship then go the K-route and do not feel ashamed of it. That route give a certain experience that can be very fullfilling, especially if you’re a man who prioritises affection needs. If the lifestyle I just outlined is more your thing then you must go the r-selection route.
To learn how to meet girls on the r-selection path, consider my textbook Daygame Mastery
* and if I’ve misconstrued your message, feel free to correct me in the comments.
** names changed, obviously.
June 22, 2014 at 4:26 pm
well done 10 points !!!!!!!!!!!!!
June 24, 2014 at 10:41 pm
F——k yeah this story just gets better & better can’t wait for part 2 krausers volcanoe eruptionnnnnnn lol or return of da jedi !!!!!!!
June 22, 2014 at 5:00 pm
Aside from muscularity, deep-tonal voice, and early-in-the-interaction kino, what are some traits of the r-selected man?
June 22, 2014 at 6:30 pm
Pay attention to the videos: Nick isn’t particularly muscular nor deep-voiced.
June 22, 2014 at 6:11 pm
Good to see you don’t disrespect the fellas who prefer the K-selected route, unlike a lot of other bloggers/sites. Live and let live. More power to you , Nick.
June 22, 2014 at 6:44 pm
Thanks for the most instructive update on your stable, Nick. This blog is experimental science at its best.
I’m in a bit of a quandary: I’m very much the affectionate type (that isn’t going to change) while accepting that firm leadership is required in order to have a stable and happy relationship. I want nothing more than an effective catchment strategy/funnel to find one high-quality girl, but my strategies up until now have failed.
Are you saying that girlfriending r-selected girls is impossible? [See Tom’s Lover/Provider continuum talk. K]
June 23, 2014 at 9:33 pm
I think you have to forget about finding “one high-quality” girl, its another form of oneitis, focused on a fantasy, rather than one specific girl. Meet and attract 5 “high-quality” girls and you’ll have a much better idea of what “high-quality” really means to you and you can pick (or not) from a place of abundance. I can’t think of any other way to cultivate the non-neediness that will get you a any one worthwhile girl without meeting a lot of different women first.
June 22, 2014 at 6:54 pm
Thanks for the dropping the wisdom once again Nick. Going through your old intermediate level infields it seemed like you were way more try hard and relied a lot more on good verbals. Whereas these days your style seems more focused on good sub communication, lower voice quality where the less is more when it comes to verbals.
I am going through a similar stage where the in-field techniques and good conversation / verbals are all there, but listening to myself the set seems to lack that weighty “oomph” or punch. Aside from dressing edgier, sexualized eye contact and redlining the set with more innuendos, what can a player do to develop a more masculine gravitas to project R-selection?
June 22, 2014 at 7:51 pm
You’re missing the point. R-selected (Lover) daygame is a state of mind, not a list of things to bolt on. It’s LESS work. Tell the girl what you REALLY want instead of the convoluted stories. Lead and escalate. That’s it. [Yes. If you want to speak Japanese, the answer is to start learning Japanese. NOT to get better at French. K.]
June 22, 2014 at 9:32 pm
But are you saying that r-slelected game works on ALL girls or the more r-selected girls? When I read your list of women, I must confess, I felt disgust for these women. Why? Because they lie. In your opinion, is that inherent female nature or a bad moral foundation? Do you even care? [You have to give up on the Disney fairytale. These aren’t sluts. They are normal women, and all have this r-selection track that can be activated if you know the birdsong. I’d suggest you read more Rollo. K.]
June 23, 2014 at 4:23 am
Disappointing yes, Doji, but so is the fact that game in general works/is even necessary, that we have to eat, shit, and make money to survive and that SMV is more or less the coin of the realm. That’s life so we can complain or adapt (or both). That’s the way I see it.
Hey, ‘Stupid salsa nights’: each to his own – I argue that it beats standing around drinking all night, or you can do a bit of both. Dancing with women, something that’s been around for centuries, gotta have something to it. It aint obsolete.
June 23, 2014 at 7:22 am
@supramax Agree Salsa nights are a great way to open women and the physical contact means you’re already in a position to move it up. What is dancing besides fucking while moving around right?
June 23, 2014 at 10:18 am
And its value depends on where one is starting from: Before salsa I was unaware of how rigidly I held my torso. The dance, and good instruction, has loosened up my physical awareness. I was also paralyzed in my capacity even to speak to or touch women that I found attractive.
June 23, 2014 at 7:19 am
@Doji This is very true. It’s interesting that when you do set the lover/r-selection state of mind early you get women opening up in that way. If you’re moving in the direction of “provider” then it’s dinner dates and flowers that could lead to nothing.
I’ve had tremendous success and it’s a mindset not a set of techniques.
There are things you can do….DayGame Mastery outlines the date model but the reality is you have to be bold.
So many times when I’ve gone for the k-close the girl has turned her head. But again this is more reflex/ASD than rejection.
It can be as simple for me as how I look at a girl, touch her hair when I meet her, stare into her eyes….Girls know immediately what’s up.
Where I may fall short is not being confident enough to follow through.
June 23, 2014 at 7:25 pm
Sounds like Doji has yet to be inducted into the “Secret Society” … I understand where he’s coming from though as it certainly was quite a shock for me and I remember thinking that I almost didn’t want to be true …
December 6, 2014 at 1:35 pm
What Disney Fairy tale? Definition of a whore/slut remains the same. Its pleasurable yes but is it acceptable to any man with a back bone? Does this not Disgust you? I know you don’t plan on keeping any of them, but if you did, to play the devils advocate here. We are exploiting them because this is not normal, we get pleasure out of it, but it is disgusting…See,,,these ARE Whores who then would lie to some poor guy and expect no retaliation, And if you say otherwise you are just lying to yourself. A Normal woman who has a husband/boyfriend and gets fucked by guys left and right is as normal as trying to produce babies through having sex with another guy! but then again there is nothing Normal about the modern western world is there? In a normal society they would think twice because a man with a backbone would not want to keep these, and if he did he would probably make sure they end up slaughtered if not gang raped beforehand.. (lunatic crazy normal)!
I think its a Female mentality brought forward through feminist encouraged western “freedom of options” upbringing. These women must not only be used as pleasure objects but also degraded.Imagine these sluts will later become mothers, how many of them will put on veils..hehe
August 16, 2016 at 5:19 pm
This study suggests men and women fall into two different mating phenotypes. Monogamous and promiscuous. We could also call them r and K. Around 60% of men and 40% of women are r.
So I don’t think it’s a case of AWALT. I think it’s more a case of 40% of women are like that.
June 23, 2014 at 3:00 am
Thanks for the eye opening post. I’ve purchased Daygame Mastery and one of the next-level realizations I got from it was my lack of r-selection. I feel like some girls are so brainwashed by society, do you ever have to sit a girl down and introduce her to the idea that she can enjoy a primarily sex relationship?
June 23, 2014 at 9:56 am
I have just read it K, and have one question; Is it still %2,6 success rate or is it better?
(according to your post at the end of 2013)
Also, one point, I agree, if you say and show that you are a player from the first moment than girl knows the deal and she knows that you have options so you become more interesting. But of course, if a newbee tries to fake it and says that he is a player than %99 off the time it won’t gonna work cause it is an attitude that is not possible to fake.
June 23, 2014 at 11:59 am
Dude, Serbia’s not in the FSU.
June 23, 2014 at 6:40 pm
Maybe the real girl’s names were Zuzana, Martina, Petra, Kristýna, Lucie, Barbora…
June 23, 2014 at 12:45 pm
The success rate is 2.67391% when the wind is blowing SW. If a girl is 5’4 or under then the conversion rate drops by 0.32. Players must have a neck circumference of 16 inches and speak at 109.99 Hz….
June 23, 2014 at 8:50 pm
Tom and Nick do your still honing your skills and making progress or do you guys have reach the acme of your game?
I think it’s the way to interpret the succes rate question. [Constant upward progress for me – younger, hotter, tighter. I’ll let Tom answer for himself. K.]
June 24, 2014 at 12:07 am
Awesome post Nick as always.
In Tom’s recent Badass Buddha seminar I attended, which I thought was awesome (Shameless plug ;)) and his recent youtube video, He talks about the different types of relationships you can have that categories the r/K model.
What interested me the most is the r-Relationship and K-Relationship in that the 2 are exactly the same but very different.
So my question is, is it possible to be both the Lover and the Provider and have that happy medium?
I’ve read a lot of conflicting views on it on other blogs where you can only be one or the other, and was curious to know what your personal views are on it.
I’m currently in an r-relationship at the moment with hardly anything to offer besides going over to her place, having a few hours of shits and giggles followed by sex, which she seems to be fine with.
I’ll be off to Prague in just over a week, so I’m looking forward to seeing how the r model plays out over there. [I have high hopes for Badass Buddha. Tom showed me late versions of the slides and it seems absolutely on the money. The r/K relationship distinction was actually a revision I suggested when Tom ran an earlier draft of that continuum past me. My basic idea is that R-BF is the golden ticket for a girl and what she tries to put R guys into – a guy she loves fucking who will also be exclusive to her and do dating. That’s in stark contrast to the K-BF who gets obligatory transaction sex in return for his relationship equity investment. K.]
June 24, 2014 at 2:57 am
Cool, so I must be doing something right.
She’s naturally in the chasing frame consistently despite repeated sessions and i’m not consciously running any game on her.
It sucks in a way because I no longer feel those mushy feelings of affection that I used to get prior to getting into game, that conversely ruined most of my past relationships.
I guess thats the price you have pay for being in complete control of your emotions.
June 24, 2014 at 3:06 pm
This is a good insight: “R-BF is the golden ticket for a girl and what she tries to put R guys into – a guy she loves fucking who will also be exclusive to her and do dating.” In addition, women love a challenge which plays right into that dynamic.
One of the hottest women that I know in my city (a full 10), when questioned why she was dating a security manager at a nightclub answered “Because I can’t control him”. This woman/girl/attention whore extraordinaire had the Chief of Police of one of the largest cities in USA (& pro ball players) chasing her – was disconcerting to come to parties not just to have the Police chief there but to also watch him following her around like a puppy.
I saw this Brazilian movie as a teenager and only now in recent years am I fully understanding it – It’s funny, entertaining, on this point – highly recommend renting it:
June 25, 2014 at 2:22 am
Hi Krauser, long time fan and proud owner of DM – I am really enjoying it. I was at a birthday party today and there was one significantly hot girl. She had a ‘boyfriend’, but I am pretty sure I have an in. My question is how to present R selection at social gatherings? I am still at uni and my approaches have to be discreet. People are always butting in and out of conversations. I just want to present my offer of R-selected fun and exit but the environment is difficult. Any suggestions?
June 25, 2014 at 11:57 am
@shabby find a way to isolate. Going after girls with Bf’s is a waste of time…i do it passively not actively. If i see a girl and am gaming her and she brings up her bf i usually ignore and plough on.
September 13, 2014 at 7:47 pm
“My question is how to present R selection at social gatherings”
If you want to present it, you already have demonstrated you’re not part of the Secret Society.
This stuff needs to be subcommunicated. Have a read of TD’s original post http://www.bristollair.com/2008/inner-game/nature-reality/secret-society/ and then start learning subcommunication. It’s going on between chicks and guys who “get it” all the time.
TD’s archive is a great place to start, actually, he was one of the subcommunication greats.
You can get it here http://web.archive.org/web/20130817122905/http://www.fastseduction.com/archives/
June 25, 2014 at 7:31 pm
Thanks walawala. I agree that isolation is key and I never really go after girls with solid boyfriends. I guess the easiest way for me to be discreet and display r-selection is to be covert in how I isolate and then more overt in isolation than the other way around.
June 28, 2014 at 12:39 pm
The same happens in our little part of the FSU, nowhere near as big as London so you continually bump into your plates. I remember the days when I’d think of avoiding taking girls out to such a place because last night’s plate is there now it’s not even an after thought. You just expect the text to arrive from the girl who has seen you out with your new plate.
September 13, 2014 at 7:39 pm
” R-BF is the golden ticket for a girl and what she tries to put R guys into – a guy she loves fucking who will also be exclusive to her”
Hi K, you just summarized the plot of every romance novel.
December 19, 2015 at 5:46 am
Yeah right, just boink a chick every other day and tha’s the way it usually goes!
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March 22, 2018 at 1:08 am
The problem with the mindset is that you are essentially becoming a feminist: you want the benefits of a K selected society with the benefits of an r selected society at the same time.
If you want a look at what I am talking about, look at Africa. That is a full blown r selected society and it is where we are heading. Why do you think the fathers are never around in Africa. It’s because they have to run to survive, or they are already dead. Sleeping with as many women as possible is great in the short term, and I did it when I was younger. The problem is that rule of law comes from a K selected structure of society where whores and players are socially rejected to the point of destitution. When these laws start to break down in the next few decades you will see the ultimate result of no K selected guarantees in society: Balkanization. When the bottom men gang up and kill you in your sleep, as is happens in the third world, the ability to sleep with as many women as possible is no longer a perk of being successful, it’s the only reprieve in a completely disintegrated society where there is no future.
That being said, because r selection wins out over k selection as you have stated, all societies have an expiration date. Now that society is globalized to a large extent, the next dark ages will also be entirely globalized. Something to think about, I am not trying to tell anyone here what to do, but stating what pick up actual is. Feminism told women that they could have the benefits of being chaste and entering into social contracts with men without actually honoring them for the sake of quick lays, essentially reducing most modern women to dopamine chasers with no thought of the future, a woman riding the cock carousel and about to hit the wall has much in common with a heroin addict who does not realize the inevitability of overdose. Pick up is an equal yet opposite reaction to this phenomenon. The artists themselves are similar in that they have no clue that their actions will inevitably lead to insurgent groups hunting them down after all societal guarantees have been stripped of them. In reality this has already happened, and once the boomers are dead society is going to explode in a sea of violence.
I intend to be a complete hypocrite and flee to a nascent K selected society once this occurs and completely flip script. The only way to have your cake and eat it too is to find new cake.