I bang my first 28 year old Russian Miss Fitness competitor

November 6, 2013

Back when I was a normal person super-chode my life was a fairly unadventurous affair, something I still see in the dead-eyed shambling of all my coupled-up old friends. Monday to Friday is the corporate cubicle grind then a few drinks after work with other blue-shirted finance/programmer chodes in an All Bar One until each of my friends’ “weekend passes” expired and Her Indoors summoned them home. Saturday and Sunday were mostly recovery from the week with a little shopping and cafe-dwelling mixed in.

A pretty boring life. I escaped that gulag four years ago and the Blue Pill Gestapo will never take me back alive.

Confined to solitary

Confined to solitary

Then an hour in the exercise yard

Then an hour in the exercise yard

So I’ve been living the Euro-jaunt lifestyle. Every month or so I’ll take a week or two’s trip facilitated by budget airlines and airbnb. I’ll number-farm, pick the low-hanging fruit and add the tougher, chaster and prettier girls to Facebook and Skype to work them ready for a return trip. When you’re a fan of the Euro-jaunt lifestyle, Long Game is indispensable. You have to learn your mistakes the hard way and few things are more depressing than working a girl over social media for two months, agreeing to meet in her country and then she doesn’t put out. It’s only happened to me twice and it’s very unpleasant… an “I suck” moment to beat all I suck moments. So I developed a Long Game checklist to be ticked off before booking flights and it’s served me well. It’s in the new book.

I wouldn’t be an aspiring player if I didn’t sometimes push the envelope, take a risk, and put myself into stupid situations. With this girl I decide to fly over to Estonia for a weekend with her when she hasn’t ticked off a single item on the checklist. That’s trouble. But before we get to the end let’s go back to the beginning…..

It’s late July and the sun is beating down on the paved streets around Trafalgar Square. Crowds of slim Euro-tourist girls amble around with cameras, guidebooks and Primark bags while Tom and I run amok. He opens some bint outside the National Gallery and hooks well so I go sit over on a nearby wall. He’s got his girl laughing and tittering so I’m looking around for something to throw myself at….. and I see her. A diminutive little Russian strutting across the square in high heels and tight skirt. Imagine the bitchiest coldest-looking Russian catwalk model and then shrink her six inches and inflate her curves. She’s got the severe makeup, cold eyes, high cheekbones and dark clipped fashion that you’d expect on Victoria Beckham but she’s only 5’2″ tall bless her with hips and calves like a porno actress. Her features are like a blow-up doll. I open.

I genuinely expect to get blown out hard. She seems so severe.

In diminutive low-8 form

In diminutive low-8 form

But no, she hooks easily and before bouncing her into the National Gallery cafe “for an English tea like an English lady” I see Tom glide past with his phone camera sneakily flashing. Later he shows up in the cafe after I text asking him to record a little idate footage.

After tea I walk her along the lakeside at St James Park and we sit on the grass. She deftly avoids being in kiss-close range but she’s verbally IOIing me and there’s no danger of her failing to understand my intent. But this is a Russian: you don’t expect much from the first two dates. She’s only in town a few more days as her three-week English course wraps up but I manage to get her on a Day 2 for a couple of hours. We have a beer in Waxy O’Connors and she rebuffs my kiss-close in a “too soon” kind of manner. I move it to Facebook.

Back in Trotskygrad reality hits her like homebrewed vodka and she’s loving the mysterious Englishman schtick. I run the usual Long Game in comparing her to a hamster and KGB agent. She sends me a two-page bio giving me a fantasy backstory (that’s great investment and mythologising) and it all goes nicely. September rolls around and I’m in Latvia teaching a residential with Tom. I get my usual local lays and squeezed between them is a Sunday afternoon when my Russian buses into Riga for a daytrip. It’s a delightful afternoon sitting in the sunshine by the river, taking photos around the Old Town and I get her semi-naked on my sofa. There’s makin’-out aplenty but she’s got rigid forebrain control to refuse the sex. I try everything. At one point I’m chasing her around the kitchen table and she tries to crawl away through my legs.

Another month of Facebook chat ensues then we agree to meet for a weekend in Tallinn. I know it’s not a done deal not only because the checklist isn’t ticked off but my whole gut feel is telling me it’s a 50/50 bet she’ll play the “I’m not that kind of girl game”. She’s clearly angling for commitment. However I’m on 25 of 26 targeted lays for the year, fancy getting out of London, and haven’t been approaching for over a month so have no London leads. I take a punt.

Predictably she gives me the runaround. On paper it’s a lovely evening – we stroll around the Old Town, take photos, eat in a medieval restaurant, have a few drinks and then roll around on my bed in the apartment but…. it’s just one long ordeal for me. It’s a very straightforward powerplay, conducted covertly.

I want to bang her. She wants to get commitment first.

As I’m walking her back to my place towards 10pm she tells me “I should be going back to my hotel”. She comes inside “for a minute only”. She won’t take her coat or shoes off for the first hour. Every babystep forward is a grind. I try everything over three hours on my bed before finally giving up. She stays the night but never takes her tights off and in the morning I’m able to get a blowjob off her. It’s so obvious she’s gagging for it but her forebrain is truly impressive. There’s a reason Russians like chess (and yes, she plays).

I get rid of her on Saturday afternoon because I need my own time and space. A couple of hours later she returns and the battle recommences. I sense a change this time. I’ve very consciously reminded myself to get back into the Now and make myself present, rather than my previously weird outcome-dependent distant vibe. She’s also a little more broken-down than yesterday, her hindbrain having dissolved a few more layers of resistance. So we eat again and have another drink. The vibe has shifted noticeably. Her eyes are more sparkly, she feels closer, and I’m starting to sense the “fuck me” decision being made behind her eyes. The spider sense is tingling.

I take her home again and the same palaver ensues but in only a quarter of the time. Finally I decide for the big escalation push. I’m pretty brutal with her. Moving her body around, ripping her clothes off, giving her stern looks, holding her down. She resists mightily but everytime I release her she gives a mildly disappointed look. Twice I do the Fire Escape routine of going into the bathroom, closing the door and offering her an escape route should she really wish to leave. Both times I come back to find her still lying on the bed in exactly the state of undress in which I left her. She wants it.

This scene is tame in comparison

This Conan scene is tame in comparison

So she gets it. She’s saying “no, we shouldn’t” right up until the moment I stick it in her and then – BAM! – She loves it. The barriers come tumbling down and she transforms into a hellcat. She’s biting, scratching, moaning, screaming, begging for more. She loves it rough especially the choking. When I turn her over for doggy-style I see a tramp stamp above her ass…. “oh you deceitful dirty bitch” I think, “pretending you’re a good girl wanting commitment while having that tattoo”. So I stick it in her ass and give her a rough one-man DP. Needless to say she loves it.

Afterwards she snuggles up to me and coos “you’re such a monster”.

I’m grinning. “You look much happier now” she says. “Yes, I won” I reply.


  1. Do you think for some men the worker drone lifestyle is safer. I think its harder to establish routine when you have enough money to not worry about tomorrow or next week. Can lead to an aimlessness if your not careful. Are most of us destined to be sheeple?

    Apologies in advance for post with no relevance to subject. What are your views on Aaron Sleazy? His AvFm post was slagging off PUA/game/seduction/whatever stuff while at the same time he sells books on pulling women and charges for phone consultations lol!! Is it a case of shit on your opponents to raise your value? He seems to make a lot of sense on some of his stuff but brags about being a virtual “PUA killer”. My take, he’s saying those guys are all shit buy my book instead. Perhaps he’s right about a lot of them but whats he doing on AvFm. Noticed they deleted a post on AvFm which pointed out his double standard. Seems like they have got him down as the acceptable version of game, cant see that lasting. [Sleazy is a weird gamma who uses his blog to chodefarm and patch up his own delusional reality. Elam is a well-known game denialist so my guess is Elam uses Sleazy as a “player who exposes Game” while Sleazy uses Elam as a supplier of more chodes to farm. K.]

  2. Geordie bastard…teasing us about the new book all the time… my balls are blue already…

  3. I don’t like how you say ‘my first’ in the title. Each girl will be unique and there won’t be a second girl like that. Seems grammatical incorrect.

    It could read ‘I bang a 28 year old Russian Miss Fitness competitor.’

    Love your stories, keep up the great work!

  4. Have you done any analysis on the amount of comfort you have to build leading up to the lay for all your lays? Just curious. [I usually apply the formula Cx2((A/cf)*S+2). Hope that helps. K.]

    • Lol. Can’t help it. Work in a math related field. I find that I have to talk with the girl for a minimum of 20 minutes, demonstrate value and some physicality in order to ensure the number I get gets a response when I txt or call. Have to spend 2-3hrs on dates, change venues a few times. More physicality. Depending on the girl I may try to sleep with her on the 1st date but it’s usually by the 2nd or 3rd date. That’s the amount of comfort I generally have to build. This is my reality as I live in the US and don’t travel a lot. You travel a lot and seem to employ “long game” a lot. [I believe optimal Game for US nationals on US women is much different to what I do. K.]

  5. Interesting post. I’m now in a “Long game” situation with a girl who after lots of sexy chat, tons of texts she went from being super keen to cooling somewhat.

    She cooled after she asked if she could spend the weekend at my place if she came here for a business trip.

    I said “no” but we could hang out. I wasn’t sure if she would come, crash and then somehow tool me. [Major error. If it’s a business trip wouldn’t she be on expenses and thus not need to save money? It’s a clear come-on and you just knocked her back. K.]

    She’s coming this weekend. We’re hanging out on Sunday night and we’re “playing it by ear” (my term) on Saturday because she’s said she has to hang out with her friends where she’s staying.

    Another girl I’m long-gaming lives in a nearby city. She’s slowly opening up with more sex-talk. I alternate between comfort (how’s your day? stuff) and (attraction: sex talk) she loves both.

    She says she’s afraid if we meet she would “melt”…

    It’s never clear whether these girls are just talking or serious about what they say so until I meet up on my terms I play it cool.

  6. Good lookalike photo, especially for the lips. I remember staring there in Latvia, saying “look at those lips’ and Tom saying “M, control yourself” ……. [Thanks. Always nice to have someone approve my lookalikes from personal experience. K.]

  7. I really enjoy your writing. Beautiful story

  8. I seriously wonder to myself if guys without game/”naturals” would ever get with girls like this. It reminds me of Roosh’s Anna story.

    “She resists mightily but everytime I release her she gives a mildly disappointed look.”


  9. Krauser,

    When you come across a set like this Russian with the outward appearance: bitchy, cold, and expecting to be blown out by her..

    Are you approaching her under the premise (fuck it, you never know how receptive the set could be), or have years of Game experience provided you with the instinctive gut feeling that its just her outward bitchy cold demeanor, thats it, and its nothing that would phase you? [Either, depends on my mood. K.]

  10. For someone who hunts Russians I identified with every tactic you used and smirked every time she pushed you away. That’s how they roll and they like it rough. And yeah the chess thing is real although they are shit at it. It’s more of a fad in Russia to pretend they are good at chess. Manipulation is a virtue in the motherland. Да.

  11. x=1/(C*2((A/cf)*S+2))

    is x for lays aka seX

    what’s this

    or are you just pulling our legs 🙂 [cocky funny, and yes it’s just a joke. K.]

    Anyway, much more enjoyable to read. I didnt have to look up what rub was.
    But what intrigues me is this.

    “However I’m on 25 of 26 targeted lays for the year”

    The red pill is still lodged in my throat, I cant see the matrix yet.

    I’m hoping that in you’re new book you will discuss how do we make sense of it all.
    You know, the number of approaches to lays. How can we auto-correct ourselves to
    evolve and start enjoying life instead of just wishing things would go our way for a change. [There’s a chapter on Care & Maintenance of your game. K.]

    I’m assuming you review you’re weekly target lays regulary. record every interaction. [No. It’s a bad habit. It’s just a vague target.]

    “When I turn her over for doggy-style I see a tramp stamp above her ass…. “oh you deceitful dirty bitch” I think, “pretending you’re a good girl wanting commitment while having that tattoo”. ”

    the angelic complex, I fell for that everytime. now I know what they are 🙂


    Domingo Chavez

  12. Even if every lay is simply treated as a ‘pump and dump’, some insight from your experience in the form of a ‘post-lay report’ would be really useful and perhaps something you should consider for the new book? Whether these girls stay in your life or not, the strategy for managing this is an area that is not properly addressed in the manosphere. Instead the focus is, perhaps rightly, on getting the lay. The story always ends there.

  13. ah the book tease again, blue balling me here Toon Army

  14. HaHa….after reading hundreds of Lay Reports from other PUA’s, I’ve got to say that is the best one. Hilarious…….

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