Teasing the unique snowflake

November 8, 2013

While on a recent trip I formularised a new little frame/tease to throw into sets. Nothing groundbreaking or conclusive, just nice spiking and framing. Allow me to share. One girl I’m working on long game has bright purple hair. Rid all images of face-pierced shaved-temple tattooed feminists from your mind. This is a delightful slim beautiful young Russian art student who is feminine in every respect….. she just happens to dye her long hair purple for aesthetic reasons. While on a short first coffee date:

Me: You know, I’ve just realised [chuckling to self]…. when you walked in I knew you reminded me of someone famous but I couldn’t remember who. Now I’ve got it!

…. tap tap tap into google image search on my phone….she’s in rapt anticipation…


Her: aaaaahahahahhahahhahaaahahaaaa!

A bit later on she’s telling me about her art college in a different town.

Me: I imagine it’s a very different atmosphere over there having all those art students in one place. Here in Krakow it’s quite traditional. Probably when you walk down the street with that purple hair old grannies tut and little children point. But I’ll bet that in Lodz girls like you are ten-a-penny.

Her: Haha etc

Me: In Lodz you probably feel like when a girl who goes to a party and sees another girl in the same dress. There’ll be all these purple-haired girls walking past and you’re thinking “bitch”. You don’t feel like a special unique snowflake anymore. You’re just common.

Thinking about this gave me an idea that this is a repeatable routine on any girl’s deliberately affected quirks.

  • Step 1: Identify a quirk. Perhaps it’s her hair, or subculture fashion (punk, metalhead, goth etc), or other affectation.
  • Step 2: Compliment her that it’s nice
  • Step 3: Playfully sympathise that it must be hard in tradtionally-minded towns. Use the tutting of grannies and pointing of small children.
  • Step 4: Contrast it with how utterly common and non-special it is in her imagined chosen environment (town, social group etc).

This tease works because you are bouncing from opposite sides of the spectrum – she’s both a misunderstood rebel and an utterly conformist bore – while giving her a playfully unflattering frame at both sides. You’ve got her bang to rights and women love being called on their shit in a non-angry way. You can generalise the theme further. Imagine you’re chatting to a catwalk model. Obviously it’s important not to be overawed by her job and presumed lifestyle. So run this pattern.

Me: Catwalk, eh? Hmmmmm…. interesting. I suppose it must be quite a contrast in life. Here you are on Oxford Street striding down the street like an angry cat. Very pretty and stylish. You’re the tallest girl here, like Gulliver being in Lilliput. All these other girls seem like oompa loompas and you’re a giant, having to duck when you walk through shop doorways…. and then you go off to a casting and suddenly the whole room is full of giants. You’re just another tall girl in a whole sea of tall girls, all scratching and biting to get the contract. That must be really difficult to get used to, going from being a unique snowflake to just another pretty girl.

You can always find a way to use a girl’s unique high-value attributes as a playfully-framed negative, whether it’s her large breasts, long legs, thick hair, big eyes, great fashion. Creatively invent dual scenarios where the attribute begins as a blessing and ends up as a curse.


  1. This tease works because you are bouncing from opposite sides of the spectrum – she’s both a misunderstood rebel and an utterly conformist bore – while giving her a playfully unflattering frame at both sides.

    Visualization plus cold reading plus subtle teasing; this is fucking gold. I actually had one of those “Holy shit…” revelation moments when I read this, like a light went on. Brilliant catch.

  2. Great post. I do this but never saw a structure for it. The key thing this does is helps me to keep my outcome dependence in check, it also helps me to maintain frame…if I’m framing her as a parrot or a kitten or whatever it’s like dangling a ball of string in front of a cat.

    Another thing in text game is to find some tick the girl has. For example, with a Japanese girl I gamed, she always used to say “etonae” which like “ummm”….so when I texted her I would use that. It was like snapping my fingers to get attention.

    There are other examples you can always pick out. Another girl always used to text “erm” before anything. I would exaggerate that. They’d never noticed it until I brought it up, then it suddenly became a kind of secret code between us.

  3. Pingback: Daily Linkage – November 9, 2013 | The Dark Enlightenment

  4. So this is a push pull something to verbally batter the girl and for you to dominate and the steps to lead her?

    • These are great ways to DHV but also a push-pull. It’s also a way of anchoring, you’re anchoring the surprise and the laugh in contrast to the lead up to what could be a compliment.

      The element of surprise is what sparks attraction: I once said: “you dance well…” to a girl I was dancing with. She said: “Thanks, you dance well too…”

      I said: “I’m not finished…PAUSE…You dance well…for a lawyer”: zing.

  5. I’ve personally found that the things I don’t say ends up being much more powerful than the things I do.

    Looking back at my interactions and approaches. Whenever i’ve genuinely started losing interest and stared into space whilst talking to a girl, I’ve often found they would invest more and more without me needing to do any overt attraction spikes in my verbal communication.

    I’ve personally had better results from that versus overtly using verbal cues to push/pull.

    This is definitely awesome to use when you’re starting out as you can’t fake indifference. So you have to overtly and verbally do it.

    Once you reach a level where you’re getting true abundance from girls, you won’t need to rely on verbal cues as much because your non verbals will communicate the exact things that will make a girl know that she needs to impress you if she’s to maintain your interest. [This is a misunderstood point. Going minimalist works only when she’s already into you. Teasing or challenging is required to build attraction when she’s not already sold on you. You show me a minimalist guy and I’ll show you a guy who has already been chosen by the girl. K.]

    Admittedly, I learned a lot of this from Jon Matrix. I seem to share the same game style as him as I’m a naturally soft spoken and quiet guy and don’t like to talk much.

  6. no wonder you’re banging the 8s and 9s. this is like the old “chick crack” stuff you used to write, but more psychologically powerful.

  7. If I understand the meta-structure correctly, it is:

    Big fish in small pond, gets noticed by peers (neg), value suffers
    Shifts to small fish in big pond, she gets overshadowed, value suffers

    Substitute fish for particular quirk and pond for particular social circle.

    Wash, rinse, and repeat.

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