London Daygame Buffoons #2 – Michael Valmont

December 27, 2015
krauserpua

Are you familiar with the term “uncanny valley”? It’s a term that came into use once robotics. CGI and video game graphics all became sufficiently advanced to make that leap from “obviously not human” to “kinda human-like”. A quick search on Google got me this definition:

used in reference to the phenomenon whereby a computer-generated figure or humanoid robot bearing a near-identical resemblance to a human being arouses a sense of unease or revulsion in the person viewing it

The icky feeling you get from observing a humanoid in the uncanny valley is because your brain senses it’s just off. It’s like the disgust reflex for spoiled food or brakish water. With that in mind, let’s introduce you to the Ricky Martin of London Daygame…… Michael Valmont.

 

Uncanny.

  • Is it because he’s wearing a suit (to look professional) while shooting a video in the stationery cupboard of his boss’s office?
  • Is it the smarmy smile like a used car salesman?
  • Is it the over-use of hand gestures rote-learned from a How To Succeed In Public Speaking seminar?
  • Is it that he describes himself as “world leading self-development and dating coach” from that same stationery cupboard?
  • Is it is completely fake forced empathy and gratitude in wishing us a happy new year?
  • Is it the weird facial expressions such as that flash of eye-bugging 0:23 into the video?
  • Is it because he sounds like he’s reciting someone else’s material rather than his own?

 

It’s all just rather uncanny. We know that homosexuals are characterised by infantilism, narcissism, lack of empathy and an all-round superficial fabulousness. Mr Valmont appears to give off precisely these signals, so my first thought is perhaps that uncanniness has a more interesting – shall we say closeted – origin. Let’s check out an infield. Bear in mind he’s listed this following video as a “social experiment” so it won’t give us a window into his method, but rather a window into his world view and vibe.

First things first. He’s a good-looking tall white dude. Therefore I’m predicting a Johnny Cassell-type response where girls will initially stop, react well, and then gradually get creeped out. Let’s see.

 

0:08 – Okay, first set is creeped out and quickly excuses themselves.
0:13 – The music is making me want to buy a girl roses and chocolate. I feel so…… noble. It’s warming my cold red-pill heart.
0:24 – His manner is like a condescending psychotherapist, like the M’kay guy in South Park. That’s uncanny and she bolts.
0:50 – She really fancied him on looks alone.
1:09 – Note the weirded out look to the side. She knows she’s not actually nicely dressed but she can’t believe a guy that hot is talking to her so she just spins around, spazzing. That’s a nice baseline to measure the impact of his looks before game is applied.
1:51 – Pedestalising and lacking sexual tension. Now, remember this is a social experiment so he’s not trying to fuck them. Nonetheless, note the vibe for comparison with the next infield below.

So at this point you’re probably thinking what I was – what a faggot! His pieces-to-camera are clumsy and unconvincing and his infield work is creepy and uncalibrated. Just another purple pill charlatan ripping off other people’s material then mixing it with blue pill happy thoughts and pranks for the benefit of YouTube monkeys. This shit is clogging up YouTube and presents a formidable interference smokescreen for a dedicated wannabe daygamer to find his way through. When deciding to add him to my London Daygame Buffoons series, that’s what I thought.

However, rather than run my mouth half-cocked (I use Twitter for that!) I did my due diligence. I delved into some of his older infields and was very much surprised. Here’s one from two years ago.

 

You weren’t expecting that were you? After those god-awful recent videos it was a big surprise to find out he’s actually running a solid London Daygame Model. Let’s analyse it in detail. I have to admire textbook game, even when they’re using my textbook uncredited.

0:13 – Good confident stop. Tap on the arm, correct distance, entitled vocal tone.
0:19 – Direct and fairly ballsy opener. She’s immediately hooked. Strong yes girl. That’s the power of being tall, good-looking and opening well. It’s like Roger Federer smashing a strong first serve – the point is already won even if the opponent gets their racquet onto the ball.
0:25 – Further confirmation of the hook. She’s stacking him. Her momentum is completely killed.
0:42 – Spotting that she doesn’t really know how to stack, he takes over with one of his own. This is all technically correct so far. Nice one.
0:47 – And now some challenging to get her qualifying. Textbook. He lets her talk and holds solid body language.
1:01 – Note the excess of energy seeping out through her fidgeting. This girl is already completely sold.
1:04 – “Observational comment + Tease” straight out of Daygame Nitro (Mastery wasn’t released until a few months after this video).
1:09 – He vacuums to draw her into asking a question. Again, solid LDM.
1:19 – Now he slips from vibing into investment. They are being more normal now. Attraction is done. It’s enough just to spike a little from here on out.
1:37 – Gentle reframe of her job on brand identities, painting a picture with words. Solid.
1:42 – Unlike his public speaking videos, these gestures are real and appropriate. He’s having fun and it’s putting a nice vibe onto the girl.
1:54 – And another teasing story. So far, I like what I’m seeing. It’s a technically solid set.
2:05 – Pushing back and disagreeing. LDM suggests you find at least one thing to disagree on, playfully.
2:41 – The investment is so-so. He’s doing the right things but lacking a bit of the quality that he showed in the first two minutes. Still, it’s adequate. You don’t need to be awesome every second of the set.
3:01 – Qualifying and reframing her age. I don’t think it’s necessary in this set but it doesn’t do any harm. Sometimes when you’ve learned the model, you want to run every piece of the model regardless.
3:05 – This is a very covert sexual spike. He could only be in trouble with the police if he intended on interferring with her sexually. So, clear man-woman frame rather than gay best friend.
3:15 – He should be wrapping it up now. That was her signal to get on with it. She’s sold.
3:20 – He correctly reads the signal. So, no Johnny Cassell-like calibration miscues here.
3:32 – This is his first bad move of the set. Up until now it was smooth solid work. Suddenly he betrays a lack of entitlement and begins babbling and second-guessing himself. If she likes him enough she’ll interpret it as Hugh Grant bumbling and think it’s cute. If she’s in any way on the fence, it’ll guarantee a flake. I think he’s going to get away with it this time.
3:46 – Mars Bars line is a good recovery.
4:11 – Correctly refuses her full name. Note how vibe is better than when Cassell was actively asking for full names.
4:21 – “That’s too much romance for me” is also a subtle push. Solid.
4:31 – “I like that, give me a hug” ends it with a clear statement of interest so she doesn’t think he’s just being a clown.

Me, yesterday

Me, yesterday

I’ll admit it, the reason I chose to feature Michael Valmont on the blog is Eddie and I had been pissing ourselves laughing at how bad his recent videos are. We just thought what a fucking buffoon. I actually thought he was a closet homo shamming daygame to build a prank channel.

But no. I checked a few more of his late-2013 street stop videos and they are a similar style and quality. The dude had proper LDM skills. Okay so he’s tall and good-looking, and okay he’s not showing Y-H-T but it’s still technically solid work. The dude has clearly studied the material and gone through the grind on the street to internalise it.

Now, the big mystery is why is he teaching all that non-technical purple pill faggotry now? What happened to take his vibe from “quite charming” to “uncanny valley” – or is his vibe still pretty good but he just feels uncomfortable speaking directly to the camera – hence the weirdness is an artifact of shooting the videos rather than something inherent in him? Has he done an ayuhasca-addled Sasha-Marshall-Berba type disappearing up own arsehole reversal or does he still coach his students in a technical manner with actionable behaviours? Is he pandering to the purple pill crowd for the money or have I got it all wrong based on having only seen his recent prank videos?

Conclusion: Real skills, mystifying recent direction.

Opinions below. And if you’re reading this Michael, are you still running the LDM and do you coach it in technical steps ala myself and guys like Tom and Eddie? (And apologies for calling you a fag. I wanted to start the post with a strong impact to bring out my own surprise at the quality of the infields).

London Daygame Buffoons #1 – Johnny Cassell

December 19, 2015
krauserpua

Time for some comic relief.

While there are many guys in London doing daygame, that does not make them London Daygamers in the sense that we are. In a seedy industry that has no barriers to entry, turning over rocks can find some very strange creepy crawlies hustling a living. Usually there’s a blurring between the lines of Self Development Guru and the hard-case noobs they work with. Often I can’t tell which is which.

Most of us are familiar with the hyper-documented train wreck that is Johnny Berba’s dating life aimless wander around London streets. But did you know there’s another Johnny who is even worse? I introduce you to Johnny Cassell!

That video is something of a soft target as he follows the standard “hire bored models and then read awkwardly from slides” blueprint that charlatan PUAs have been doing for years. It’s such a transparent piece of fronting that the only specific instance I’ll bother highlighting is this:

Focus on the girls faces as they become increasingly unable to hide their disgust.

It seems mean to mock bottom-feeders. “Hey, they are just trying to get by and make a few quid helping men” you may say. Well, watch the next video. This is just shameless misrepresentation. He knows he’s peddling a lie. If he was just an honest nincompoop I’d have let it slide.

0:00 – He’s a dating expert for the elite, remember. So this is top-drawer game you’re gonna see.
0:09 – DHV. “I was in Riga.” Watch for more awkward attempts at qualifying himself.
0:18 – “… they need to catch up on their infrastructure” is a good go-to line if you feel the hook dropping and need a quick spike.
0:30 – She’s all um, ok, yeah. Highly invested.
0:33 – That’s the second “It’s crazy”
0:40 – He’ll eventually find the right James Bond posture, after trying a few dozen variations.
0:44 – Count all the rapport laughter.
1:05 – This is the best part of the set. No fidgeting, smirk, letting her talk.
1:16 – “I have to go to a meeting” is presumeably a DHV / false time constraint. Way too early.
1:19 – This false choice is a weaselly attempt to avoid hearing “no”
1:27 – She doesn’t get that he’s trying to take her number. He hasn’t shown any intent nor moved her through the requisite stages, so it comes off so uncalibrated she doesn’t even recognise it.
1:31 – This occasionally works, but rarely, and not here. She has no reason to come on an idate after such weak preamble so she’s only likely to walk a few yards until she figures out a way to sneak off without confrontation.
1:36 – This is a flat-out lie, as you’ll see. Which is the main reason I decided to write this post.
1:44 – Note they are now just on the other side of the arch and the conversation / vibe is no different. Obvious conclusion: there was no instant date.
1:47 – This sounds like emotional blackmail. Basically, “take pity on me”
2:00 – I imagine the main thought in her mind is “WTF is this?”
2:03 – Do you think she’d have waited until after an instant date to ask his name?
2:24 – She does seem to like the attention.
2:28 – Never ask a girl’s surname on the street when taking a number. So, this is probably a Facebook brush-off.
2:51 – Another uncalibrated lunge – physical this time – without any set up
2:56 – “Have a good day” and no indication of wishing to meet.
3:05 – Apologetic laugh on opening. Don’t ever do this.
3:15 – He’s DLVing himself implying he’s usually lacking confidence.
3:18 – Rapport laughing shows her you feel lucky just being there.
3:23 – You don’t need false time constraints on a street stop. The whole point of them in Mystery Method is to put girls at ease during an ambush. That dynamic doesn’t apply on a moving street stop.
3:27 – “What’s the story, quickly, don’t tell me too much.” That’s something Mystery might say four minutes into a set when he’s already got the girl interested. It’s madness to do such a hard qualifier on a girl that hasn’t even hooked properly. Additionally, it’s putting the responsibility for stacking onto her, which is unfair.
3:40 – Anybody else creeped out by that line?
3:58 – He’s preventing any attempt at rapport being built. Madness.
4:09 – “How do we go about it?” So another attempt to shift the burden of leading onto her. Other than the stop, he’s expecting her to lead the seduction without giving her any incentive to do so.
4:20 – This is a simple “no”.
4:23 – And this is begging
4:55 – You should only argue the toss when the interaction has been good and you know she likes you. When the whole thing has been flat, she’s been looking away to IOD you the whole time…. just let her go!
5:00 – More of the creepy emotional blackmail
5:22 – “an email address or something” and volunteering for friendzone is about as needy as it gets.
6:29 – “heheh, it’s ridiculous” WTF?
6:39 – A mini-assumption stack. First bit of daygame for several minutes. Note how it got her talking.
6:56 – Doesn’t qualify her on why he picked that girl, and then jumps to date invite without any preamble. So this set is basically “Hello. Do you like how I look? Let’s get a drink. Bye.” That’s as extreme as filtering gets. Zero attraction, vibing or investment.
7:01 – Jesus, that’s a bit strong. I thought he was gonna slap her. “Bitch! Don’t tell me about yourself!”
7:16 – When a girl asks for your number instead of giving hers, it’s 99% flake.
7:18 – This is a genuinely funny comeback, but then rapport laughter spoils it.
7:40 – That’s 3/3 asking surnames. Creepy.
7:55 – Okay, so now he’s qualified her. In a very strange way.

Johnny Cassell

The TL:DR is simple – Tall, good-looking white guy creates good first impression then progressively destroys it with horrendous uncalibrated nonsensical game.

Conclusion: Buffoon.

My 2014 Daygame Stats

January 3, 2015
krauserpua

As noted in my previous post, I’ve been reading The Numbers Game, a statistical deconstruction of football. It’s been inspiring in its analysis, giving that sense of intellectual power that comes when you realise a vague, complex, artistic activity can be data-mined and understood by the intelligent application of a statistical mindset. Regular readers can imagine the direction my mind turned.

While I’d love to do a rigorous data collection exercise for the sport I love – adventure sex – I fear it’s far beyond the scope of one man. The sports analytics community is hundreds strong with many full-time staff at sports clubs and tremendous technology. So, daygame will have to wait. However, in the spirit of Christmas let me offer you my 2014 stats. As with last year, only the lays are a 100% reliable number. Everything else involves a degree of estimation because I didn’t keep records.

Working on my new book

Working on my new book

Opens: I racked my memory to estimate how many days I went out each month and roughly how many sets I did per day then multiplied one by the other. I was dormant throughout Q1, barely opening. Q2 I hit it hard in Russia, Serbia and Czech Republic. Q3 was so-so, and Q4 I had a final roll of the dice when I wasn’t crippled by toothache. This opens number is accurate to the nearest 100. I’d have liked to have opened more but all manner of things derailed me.
Numbers: I tend to get one phone number or social media add for every four girls I talk to. This hasn’t changed from last year. I rarely bother asking if she doesn’t seem keen. So this total is just ¼ of the Opens estimate
Dates: I tend to bang half the girls I get onto a first date, so this is just double the lays number with a few added on because of a bad run in Russia. In Russia I had a run of dates-to-nowhere in April, whereas in Prague in November I banged 4 of the 6 girls I dated (one of the LMR knockbacks was, and remains, a virgin so I don’t feel too bad about that one).
Lays: This number is exact. I kept notes and it’s memorable enough that I don’t really need the notes.

  • Opens: 480 (London 50, Russia 100, Serbia 150, Czech 100, Croatia 40, Hungary 40)
  • Numbers: 120
  • Dates: 50
  • iDates: 15
  • Lays: 23 new girls, 8 repeats from prior year

So that’s one lay per 21 opens. It sounds about right. I always do better on the road and I was barely in London this year. It represents an almost doubling of my efficiency from 2013, and the girls averaged about a half point hotter. So, improvement. Unlike 2013 (which was very consistent), my anecdotal feel for 2014 is that my results were volatile. Nineteen (82%) of my lays came within four of the months (April, May, July, November) when I was most active and least hindered by illness or outside interference.

  • SDL: 1  (a virgin)
  • SNL: 1
  • Day 2 lay: 6
  • Day 3/4 lay: 12
  • Long Game lay: 3

Compared to last year that’s a bit slower, I think mainly because I wasn’t getting London tourists so I was dealing with more chaste girls and also my average trip length went up from two weeks to one month meaning I was no longer in a hurry to close. Nothing went beyond the third date (D4) except the Long Game. I was also doing “marking time” coffee second-dates of an hour which hit the numbers but don’t really take much of my time. Let’s consider the geographical distribution:

  • Sex in same country we met: 22
  • Sex in different country to open: 1

And for the Long Game:

  • Sex where she came to London for me: 1
  • Sex where I went back to her country: 2
  • Sex where we both went to a neutral country: 0

Now lets get to the ages. I’m 39. The average age of girl I slept with was 23, making a 16-year average age difference. More stats:

  • Youngest: 19
  • Oldest: 30
  • Number of girls under 23: 13
  • Number of girls over 23: 10

I fucked six 20yr olds and three 19yr olds, which is very pleasing. Let’s consider nationalities (not ethnicity). I’d say the Slavs and Balkans were the hottest as usual, averaging 8s. Overall I think eleven of the girls were legit 8s (I feel some pride having them on my arm), three were 6s (not too proud of myself) and the rest were 7s. I’m very strict on what I call a 9 (gobsmacking beauty that turns heads everywhere) there were only two girls who might be called a nine but I think they didn’t quite make the cut. I had a few nines on dates.

  • Slavic: 12
  • Balkan: 8
  • Western Europe: 2
  • Anglosphere: 0
  • Latino: 1

The nationality is heavily skewed by my choice of holiday destinations. The furthest West I visited was Czech Republic. I never left Europe and missed the opportunity to pick up the more diverse London crowd. Now lets consider the self-reported chastity of the girls involved. I interviewed most of the girls after sex to find out all manner of things, such as when they decided to fuck and how many men they’d had before me. Bear in mind these are self-reported numbers and girls aren’t entirely truthful (to put it mildly). I think I got more truth than a k-selected guy but I’d take these following numbers with a pinch of salt.

  • Virgin: 3
  • 1 or 2 men before me: 5
  • 3 to 10 men: 4
  • 10+ men: 1
  • Didn’t ask / didn’t tell: 10

Just over half the girls gave me an answer, the others I didn’t ask (except for one I asked and she didn’t tell me). The virgins I am certain of because I felt the hymen break and saw the blood. I suspect two of the “didn’t ask” were over ten based on how comfortable they were with the seduction and sex. The rest I put under ten based on same criteria. But you never really know. I’ve also racked my brain for near misses. I only count them as a near miss if the girl was totally up for it, had her hand on my dick, I’d had my hand on her pussy, and she’s either agreed to come to my place or we’d been in a sex location. It’s a bit of a muddy definition but every single one of these girls I was certain I was going to fuck and then it fell apart at the last minute:

  • Near misses: 7
  • Failure due to LMR at sex location: 5
  • Failure due to unexpected outside forces: 2 (both virgins)
  • Failure due to logistical errors: 0

So in summary, I had to do approximately twenty opens to bang one low-eight who was sixteen years younger than me. I’m pretty happy with that. That’s basically two day’s graft for a new girl and not many dates-to-nowhere. I also had greater retention of girls from prior years still wanting the Krauser D. Importantly, my results continued to improve on almost every index. I’m not sure how I’ll manage to outperform that through 2015 but generally if I turn my mind to something, I figure it out. I’m inclined to go for higher quality, less work, and less notches this year.

Tom Torero reviews Primal Seduction

September 6, 2014
krauserpua

Most of you will know all about Tom Torero, formerly head instructor for Daygame.com, author of two daygame memoirs, and more recently creator of the Badass Buddha video. He’s one of the few people in the game who’s opinion I value. So I’m mightily pleased that he likes Primal Seduction. Check out the full review below.

UPDATE – A savvy reader notes Lulu are offering a big discount if you enter the correct coupon code at the checkout. Currently the one that works is:  SMG14 — Free Shipping & GETIT15 — 15% OFF  Total Price: $76.87 USD

Guest Post: Tom Torero’s 2013 Daygame Stats

January 2, 2014
krauserpua

‘Tis the season to be nerdy. Krauser’s asked me to compile my 2013 stats into some sort of document for a free blog post and reader devouring historic preservation. After his selfless proof-reading of my forthcoming daygame travel book, how could I say no?

Like him, I didn’t keep exact records for number of opens, number of contacts or number of dates. The lays I wrote down and are thus 100% accurate. 2013 was a year of epic travelling for me teaching bootcamps and students in 25 countries and daygaming in 31 cities, from New York to Moscow. I got 30 new lays in total.

I was lucky enough to travel with some solid mates and wings. My travelling compadres included Krauser (in Vilnius, Prague and Belgrade), Jon Matrix, Yad, Sam Django, Dave Diggler and Martin from the daygame.com team.

However, I did very few daygame sessions for myself. A lot of my time on the streets was with students (I taught 28 bootcamps, 64 private students and 2 week-long residentials). As part of the coaching I demoed and got numbers, but the only personal full-on number farming trips I had were with Krauser (Lithuania, Prague), Sam (Sweden, Prague) and Martin (New York). I’m not going to estimate how many girls I opened as I really don’t have a clue, but I know it was much lower than 2012 and 2011 back in London.

I estimate that in addition to the above, I did 25 full days of daygame for myself (with the above wings). Including all the numbers from demos while coaching studentsm, I collected between 280 and 300 contact details. I estimate that I went on around 70 – 80 dates. I did much fewer i-dates than in previous years because for a lot of the interactions I was demoing for students.

New flags captured were: Iran, Portugal, Egypt, Serbia and South Korea.

New lays with flags I’d already got were: Great Britain, Russia, Germany, Italy, USA, Latvia, Lithuania, Ukraine, Czech Republic, Poland, Turkey, Brazil, Spain, Sweden and Finland.

The dating breakdown of the lays was:

SDLs :8

D2 lays: 10

D3+ lays: 12

I’m 34 years old. The oldest girl I slept with this year was a 34 year old MILF in London. The youngest was an 18 year old university student in New York.

Number of girls under 25: 18

Number of girls over 25: 12

The quality of the girls (as testified by my wings) was above average as I pushed myself through a self-imposed ceiling. 2 of the girls were “6s”, 17 were “7s”, 10 were “8s” and 1 was a “9.”

The 9

The 9

Lay highlights included fucking the 21 year old “9” Go-Go dancer from Riga (see above), 3 new girls in 3 days, SDLing a cabin crew assistant from Turkish Airlines and laying the first girl that I approached on my last trip to New York. I also had a MMF with a flatmate.

Memorable failures included near-misses with two different potential foursomes (one with Sam in Prague and one with Krauser in Belgrade). I got punched twice (once by a girl’s husband in a Moscow club and once by a girl’s friend in Istanbul). I lost out on a lay with a “Yes Girl” model in Prague when the hotel I was staying at wouldn’t let her in as a guest.

My plans for 2014 are to open, date and try and close far fewer girls but of a consistently higher quality, pushing for more “9s.” After 150+ lays I’m done with the Notch-Count Hyena. It’s time for the Quality Control Lion. Grand, noble, patient, doing less but catching a tasty meal.

"Good work, my son"

“Good work, my son”

I thought I’d sign-off by answering three predictable chode comments in advance that are often thrown in the direction of Krauser and I:

“You only travel / open / sleep with foreign girls because English girls are harder”

Girls are biologically all the same – if you’re a chode in your home country you’ll be a chode abroad. The real reason we travel / open / sleep with foreign girls is that they’re hotter. Don’t try daygame abroad until you’ve nailed the skillset where you live as it’s harder away from home: you have to act fast as the nomadic lover instead of the provider boyfriend, logistics and time are against you, you have to manage your state (which has an unhealthy focus on outcome through necessity) and you have to deal with the stresses and strains of travel. I’ve slept with many English girls (check out the lay reports in my first book) and daygame / dating works exactly the same.

“Girls sleep with you for your money / passport / accent”

High value girls sleep with high value guys. End of. The “pussy paradise” you’re imagining doesn’t exist, it’s a White Knight fantasy of a place with desperate girls that need rescuing from local guys. If you believe it’s so easy, go and try it. Paying the bar bill in some tittie bar and taking home a hooker in Thailand this is not. In places like the FSU, girls are much harder to daygame than in London. Many countries have cultures and religions where fast dating and quick sex is very rare. You’re trying to achieve in a few days what it takes local guys months or years to achieve. In many ways, western men are lower value than locals in FSU countries because of Feminism and sexual hangups. Go to Serbia and observe the men who you’re going head-to-head with . You’re also competing with the provider chumps offering these girls trips to Dubai or rides in their Ferrari. Remember that Moscow has the most billionaires in the world.

“You spam approach and open thousands of girls to get a date or a lay”

I wish I had the energy to open thousands a year. The more you do daygame, the more lethargic you get. In 2012 and 2013 I also continued to experience “Game revulsion” as I burnt out from all the travelling and teaching. I did a fraction of the opening I did when I was learning Game in 2010 and 2011. Compared to the guys in clubs who I see opening every set as part of their smash-and-grab beasting, or the approach machine robots I see on Oxford Street at Saturday lunchtime, I open like a pensioner on weed.

Happy 2014 to you glorious bastards – onwards and inwards😉

Tom Torero

My 2013 daygame stats

January 1, 2014
krauserpua

In the new book I write quite a lot about expectations and reality in daygame. It seems only fair that as 2013 draws to a close and I sit in my dressing gown sipping coffee, running a hot bath, I should offer some summary statistics for the year. Most of these numbers rely upon estimates because I didn’t keep notes. Only the final laycount is 100% reliable.

My New Year's Eve

My New Year’s Eve

Opens: I racked my memory to estimate how many days I went out each month and roughly how many sets I did per day then multiplied one by the other. The only months I’m absolutely sure of are February (in Brazil, did almost nothing), April (I actually kept notes that month, I was very active), May, November and December (very little work). The rest is a blur. Most times when I do a “full session” I’ll open 10-15 girls. Some days I do one open, get an idate and then I’m finished. This opens number is accurate to the nearest 300.

Numbers: I tend to get one phone number or social media add for every four girls I talk to. I rarely bother asking if she doesn’t seem keen. So this total is just ¼ of the Opens estimate

Dates: I tend to bang half the girls I get onto a first date, so this is just double the lays number.

Lays: This number is exact. I kept notes and it’s memorable enough that I don’t really need the notes.

Opens: 1,000

Numbers: 250

Dates: 60

iDates: 15

Lays: 27 new girls, 3 repeats from prior years

So that’s one lay per 37 opens. It sounds about right. I think it’s 1 in 20 on holiday and 1 in 50 in London. Now lets categorise the lays.

SDL: 5

SNL: 3

Day 2 lay: 7

Day 3+ lay: 7

Long Game lay: 5

So there’s no particular pattern there. Let’s consider the geographical distribution:

Sex in same country we met: 25

Sex in different country to open: 2 (the two long game lays in neutral country)

And for the Long Game:

Sex where she came back to London: 1

Sex where I went back to her country: 2

Sex where we both went to a neutral country: 2

Now lets get to the ages. I’m 38. The average age of girl I slept with was 25, making a 13-year average age difference. Only one girl didn’t tell me her age, a Brazilian who didn’t speak English. I’d estimate her as mid-twenties. More stats:

Youngest: 20

Oldest: 30

Number of girls under 25: 14

Number of girls over 25: 13

Let’s consider nationalities (not ethnicity). I’d say the Slavs and Balkans were the hottest, averaging 8s. Overall I think twelve of the girls were legit 8s (I feel some pride having them on my arm), four were 6s (not too proud of myself) and the rest were 7s. I’m very strict on what I call a 9 (gobsmacking beauty that turns heads everywhere) and though I dated and made out with a few I never banged any in 2013:

Slavic: 9

Balkan: 4

Western Europe: 4

Anglosphere: 2

Latino: 6

Other: 2

I’ve also racked my brain for near misses. I only count them as a near miss if the girls was totally up for it, had her hand on my dick, I’d had my hand on her pussy, and she’s either agreed to come to my place or we’d been in a sex location. It’s a bit of a muddy definition but every single one of these girls I was certain I was going to fuck and then it fell apart at the last minute:

Near misses: 12

Failure due to LMR at sex location: 6

Failure due to unexpected outside forces: 3

Failure due to logistical errors: 3

I’d say I’m pretty happy with those stats. There’s room for improvement but at the quality I’m tapping, it’s nice to know I only have to open 40 girls to get laid once. That’s basically two or three day’s graft for a new girl and not many dates-to-nowhere.

Vince Kelvin – (not) getting laid in NYC

August 7, 2013
krauserpua

Those of you in the UK may have read The Daily Mash. For yanks, it’s like The Onion. Sometimes vignettes of other people’s lives make you feel like you’ve landed in Bizarro World where up is down and black is white. So it is with Vince Kelvin mPUA.

What a fucking clown.

While sitting in a Belgrade apartment overlooking parliament square Tom and I are talking about the realities of the pick-up community. There are some real businesses that produce good products from talented practictioners and then market them. That’s what CocaCola and Apple do in their field. Real businesses. There’s others who are pure internet scammers who have no real product but instead produce a masterful “long form sales” letters to funnel the lonely and the desperate into inputing credit card details to order a product they don’t even watch.

And then there’s low-IQ deluded chode wranglers who are so insanely lacking feedback from reality that they have become the PUA Spinal Tap. Reigning supreme amongst them is Vince Kelvin, the PUA oompa loompa. I had the honour of watching this video today. Imagine the worst dregs of spirtualism, NLP, Neil Strauss weirdo game, attempted rock star posturing all dumped into one swill bucket that’s left in the mid-day sun.

0:04 – This the only compliance he gets from a girl in the entire twenty minutes. And later we’ll see him fuck it up.

0:17 – This is the major smoke and mirrors trick he uses. Go up to girls, shower them with softly-sexualised attention and then do visual compliance tests for the camera. Note he never breaks social politeness so the girls will give soft compliance rather than be the social violators by refusing. Crucially, they don’t move. He has to orbit them to keep the set going.

0:49 – Let’s talk about calibration…… understanding the woman’s position and what she will think of your approach…..

1:38 – Spiritual mumbo jumbo. As the video progresses you’ll note a constant part of his reality-weave is to tell the chodes what they are seeing. A normal person may think “creepy guy hollering at uninterested girls” so they must be framed to see it as connection and outgoing behaviour.

3:01 – All the chodes have jobs to position Vince as the rock star pack leader. It’s highly unlikely they are paying for this “boot camp”. Really it’s not a boot camp to teach the guys, it’s a chode wrangle to patch up Vince’s false idealised self…. disguised as a bootcamp.

3:19 – That’s what fear looks like. Deep down his hindbrain isn’t fooled but enough smoke has been blown up his arse that he can’t trust his instinct and what his eyes are telling him about this grotesque parody he is living.

3:43 – This entire video, just like the “bootcamp”, is the Vince-aggrandizing show. It’s all about drawing narcisstic supply from the viewers and his chode hangers-on.

4:50 – The rock star arrives at the hotel…….. a two star hotel without any fans waiting…..

5:45 – This is why you should be sensitive to IODs in an ambush set. Look at how creeped-out she is.

6:55 – You may throw up into your mouth here. They all look so… uncomfortable. There’s massive cognitive dissonance in the chodes’ brains between the bullshit Vince has poured into their forebrain and the instinctive hindbrain reaction.

8:38 – If he talks enough about what will happen and reframes what is happening perhaps they won’t realise there are no women around.

9:17 – The gap between myth and reality is astonishing. Look at the epic size of those dumbells.

10:09 – That’s what creeped-out looks like

11:24 – More aggressive reality-weaving. So far it’s a rock tour without the music or fans. It’s literally 11 minutes of men talking to each other in cars, elevators, gym and hotel rooms about what’s gonna happen (and doesn’t actually happen). And occasionally creeping out a girl who gives no compliance.

12:21 – It’s all pull. No push, no tease, no challenging.

12:58 – Have you seen the slightest look of interest or attraction on any of the girls’ faces? They always have the look like they are thinking “Ok, just be polite, don’t add anything, and hopefully he’ll fuck off without causing a scene”

13:37 – We now enter the only section of the video where he has a girl attracted to him. Watch the girl in white carefully. She begins with good interest levels and is quite horny. Watch the eyes and subtle body language.

13:51 – That’s interest. She’s turned towards him, constantly looking at him, moves in close to look at texts. He’s successfully pawned off all his chodes to make himself King Chode. So naturally the girl responds to this parasite game. Remember the chodes are there for the sole purpose of enabling Vince’s delusional lifestyle.

14:07 – She’s mesmerised. She wants to fuck. It’s his to lose now.

14:21 – That’s the fuck me look. She needs comfort, isolation and a close. This would be a great time to walk her to another part of the hotel on a thin pretext. But of course he can’t do that because he’s addicted to the validation hits of attraction material and he needs to perform for the chodes.

14:41 – Stop playing to the camera and close the girl.

14:52 – So far it’s working. Now watch how he completely destroys the vibe by acting like a little kid who’s just won a gold star. Each successive kiss has less compliance and more desperation from him. She senses he’s fake as shit and doesn’t usually get makeouts with young girls and thus he’s far too proud of what’s happening. Her alarm bells trigger and she disengages.

15:33 – Notice he’s always leaning into her, going towards her, when he should be having her come to him. It’s to cover the lack of compliance.

15:49 – He has to make an entrance, like a rock star.

15:53 – Note the aggressive framing and postioning. Most of the *ahem* mPUAs are really gaming men not women. It’s chode wrangling. Little different to Hollywood moguls filling a silly girl’s head full of dreams and bright lights to get a grot fuck in a parking lot. Sell the dream and empty the pockets. Even better, recruit the chodes as fuel for your delusions.

16:08 – Looking around the room my main advice to these bottom-feeders would be “don’t bother”. Really. Most guys are not cut out for Game. Most of these men just need a makeover, a workout plan and then very simple social skills. They’ll find a chubby 6 who has hit 30 and needs a provider. They can marry her and have a reasonably happy life with some love and affection. Knocking over Hungarian teenagers in a coffee shop toilets will never be in their reality so stop selling them an impossible dream. It sounds harsh to mock Vince and his chode army but the simple fact is he is ruining these guys by filling their heads with unrealistic expectations and then stringing them along until they implode. It’s not healthy.

16:18 – Note his head chodes are at the front table. Feed them minor status increments over the drone chodes.

16:29 – Do you think there’s anyone on the other end of that call?

16:57 – …. ahem….. WTF? A chicken dance?

17:15 – And ironically some of his material is actually on the money. I agree with the basic thrust of this segment.

18:49 – Watch for some serious smoke and mirrors here. The editing and sequencing is designed to lead you into thinking this is an extraction and close… which it clearly isn’t. Of course if he had closed he’d find a way to prove it… such as by calling into his bedroom to get her to reply for the audio evidence there really is a girl in that room.

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