Vince Kelvin – (not) getting laid in NYC

August 7, 2013

Those of you in the UK may have read The Daily Mash. For yanks, it’s like The Onion. Sometimes vignettes of other people’s lives make you feel like you’ve landed in Bizarro World where up is down and black is white. So it is with Vince Kelvin mPUA.

What a fucking clown.

While sitting in a Belgrade apartment overlooking parliament square Tom and I are talking about the realities of the pick-up community. There are some real businesses that produce good products from talented practictioners and then market them. That’s what CocaCola and Apple do in their field. Real businesses. There’s others who are pure internet scammers who have no real product but instead produce a masterful “long form sales” letters to funnel the lonely and the desperate into inputing credit card details to order a product they don’t even watch.

And then there’s low-IQ deluded chode wranglers who are so insanely lacking feedback from reality that they have become the PUA Spinal Tap. Reigning supreme amongst them is Vince Kelvin, the PUA oompa loompa. I had the honour of watching this video today. Imagine the worst dregs of spirtualism, NLP, Neil Strauss weirdo game, attempted rock star posturing all dumped into one swill bucket that’s left in the mid-day sun.

0:04 – This the only compliance he gets from a girl in the entire twenty minutes. And later we’ll see him fuck it up.

0:17 – This is the major smoke and mirrors trick he uses. Go up to girls, shower them with softly-sexualised attention and then do visual compliance tests for the camera. Note he never breaks social politeness so the girls will give soft compliance rather than be the social violators by refusing. Crucially, they don’t move. He has to orbit them to keep the set going.

0:49 – Let’s talk about calibration…… understanding the woman’s position and what she will think of your approach…..

1:38 – Spiritual mumbo jumbo. As the video progresses you’ll note a constant part of his reality-weave is to tell the chodes what they are seeing. A normal person may think “creepy guy hollering at uninterested girls” so they must be framed to see it as connection and outgoing behaviour.

3:01 – All the chodes have jobs to position Vince as the rock star pack leader. It’s highly unlikely they are paying for this “boot camp”. Really it’s not a boot camp to teach the guys, it’s a chode wrangle to patch up Vince’s false idealised self…. disguised as a bootcamp.

3:19 – That’s what fear looks like. Deep down his hindbrain isn’t fooled but enough smoke has been blown up his arse that he can’t trust his instinct and what his eyes are telling him about this grotesque parody he is living.

3:43 – This entire video, just like the “bootcamp”, is the Vince-aggrandizing show. It’s all about drawing narcisstic supply from the viewers and his chode hangers-on.

4:50 – The rock star arrives at the hotel…….. a two star hotel without any fans waiting…..

5:45 – This is why you should be sensitive to IODs in an ambush set. Look at how creeped-out she is.

6:55 – You may throw up into your mouth here. They all look so… uncomfortable. There’s massive cognitive dissonance in the chodes’ brains between the bullshit Vince has poured into their forebrain and the instinctive hindbrain reaction.

8:38 – If he talks enough about what will happen and reframes what is happening perhaps they won’t realise there are no women around.

9:17 – The gap between myth and reality is astonishing. Look at the epic size of those dumbells.

10:09 – That’s what creeped-out looks like

11:24 – More aggressive reality-weaving. So far it’s a rock tour without the music or fans. It’s literally 11 minutes of men talking to each other in cars, elevators, gym and hotel rooms about what’s gonna happen (and doesn’t actually happen). And occasionally creeping out a girl who gives no compliance.

12:21 – It’s all pull. No push, no tease, no challenging.

12:58 – Have you seen the slightest look of interest or attraction on any of the girls’ faces? They always have the look like they are thinking “Ok, just be polite, don’t add anything, and hopefully he’ll fuck off without causing a scene”

13:37 – We now enter the only section of the video where he has a girl attracted to him. Watch the girl in white carefully. She begins with good interest levels and is quite horny. Watch the eyes and subtle body language.

13:51 – That’s interest. She’s turned towards him, constantly looking at him, moves in close to look at texts. He’s successfully pawned off all his chodes to make himself King Chode. So naturally the girl responds to this parasite game. Remember the chodes are there for the sole purpose of enabling Vince’s delusional lifestyle.

14:07 – She’s mesmerised. She wants to fuck. It’s his to lose now.

14:21 – That’s the fuck me look. She needs comfort, isolation and a close. This would be a great time to walk her to another part of the hotel on a thin pretext. But of course he can’t do that because he’s addicted to the validation hits of attraction material and he needs to perform for the chodes.

14:41 – Stop playing to the camera and close the girl.

14:52 – So far it’s working. Now watch how he completely destroys the vibe by acting like a little kid who’s just won a gold star. Each successive kiss has less compliance and more desperation from him. She senses he’s fake as shit and doesn’t usually get makeouts with young girls and thus he’s far too proud of what’s happening. Her alarm bells trigger and she disengages.

15:33 – Notice he’s always leaning into her, going towards her, when he should be having her come to him. It’s to cover the lack of compliance.

15:49 – He has to make an entrance, like a rock star.

15:53 – Note the aggressive framing and postioning. Most of the *ahem* mPUAs are really gaming men not women. It’s chode wrangling. Little different to Hollywood moguls filling a silly girl’s head full of dreams and bright lights to get a grot fuck in a parking lot. Sell the dream and empty the pockets. Even better, recruit the chodes as fuel for your delusions.

16:08 – Looking around the room my main advice to these bottom-feeders would be “don’t bother”. Really. Most guys are not cut out for Game. Most of these men just need a makeover, a workout plan and then very simple social skills. They’ll find a chubby 6 who has hit 30 and needs a provider. They can marry her and have a reasonably happy life with some love and affection. Knocking over Hungarian teenagers in a coffee shop toilets will never be in their reality so stop selling them an impossible dream. It sounds harsh to mock Vince and his chode army but the simple fact is he is ruining these guys by filling their heads with unrealistic expectations and then stringing them along until they implode. It’s not healthy.

16:18 – Note his head chodes are at the front table. Feed them minor status increments over the drone chodes.

16:29 – Do you think there’s anyone on the other end of that call?

16:57 – …. ahem….. WTF? A chicken dance?

17:15 – And ironically some of his material is actually on the money. I agree with the basic thrust of this segment.

18:49 – Watch for some serious smoke and mirrors here. The editing and sequencing is designed to lead you into thinking this is an extraction and close… which it clearly isn’t. Of course if he had closed he’d find a way to prove it… such as by calling into his bedroom to get her to reply for the audio evidence there really is a girl in that room.


  1. “MOST guys are not cut out for Game”

  2. i dont know man. he [vince] can pick up low quality,molested deviant girls pretty well, if you can call picking up scummy girls a skill

  3. It strongly reminded me of this, I guess this is the fitness equivalent of such douchebag:

  4. Please do not make us watch something like that again.

  5. To me PUA/Chode Game translates to = ‘Trying not to fuck up, try hard game’

    What results? A bunch of idiots who take everything mentioned in the community and blow it up to extreme ‘geeky’ proportions. This is no surprise to me considering the whole community is full of Starcraft geeks.

    Here’s the difference:

    Unhealthy/PUA Perspective:
    Peacocking: Pink hair, platforms, eye liner, Leather
    DHV: Negging, acting like a clown, rockstar game, entourage
    Gaming: Faking value, Acting/Pretending, Pretending to have an abundant life,

    Healthy perspective
    Peacocking: Masculine vibe, posture, good fashion, Socially intelligent
    DHV: Value giving, ambition, good character, authenticity.
    Gaming: Display of intent, congruency, honesty, values and boundaries.

  6. what you give your energy to grows in your life.

  7. 6.55 I nearly fell off my chair laughing!!! Haha!

  8. You’re a little late to the party on Vince. He’s been dishing out doushebaggery for many years now. What’s funny is that at one point he dabbled with the real, authentic side of game.

  9. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT HAIR?? This is, literally, the Spinal Tap of Game.

  10. The video proves that if you have a unique look and go out often enough, the law of large numbers will begin to work in your favor.

    Eventually even a guy like Vince will get laid, so long as he goes out and puts his boots on the ground and makes approach after approach.

    Yet Vince’s game is so horrible – indeed, it can only be described as anti-game – that he can’t close a sure thing.

    • You don’t even have to have a unique look to play the numbers game. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if you took away his “style” he might even do better. He’s dangerously close to the expiration date (age) of the rocker look. He comes across as someone who’s holding on to an identity he constructed a decade earlier. Not much different than the 35 y/o that goes out in a frat-style baseball cap

  11. I thought this was a comedy sketch – until I looked up this guy on google and found out he was an instructor for what was arguably the biggest dating company a couple years back, a company called love systems.

    And so Western Society reaches a new low.

  12. That girl making out with him is what is wrong with women today. They are totally useless. Pump and dump all the way – Let them rot in hell.

  13. This guy seems like a mixture of Borat and Bob Dylan. I keep thinking this is a joke but apparently it’s not.
    If this guy came into my circle, he’d get assaulted. Hence, the reason for his ‘bodyguards’.

  14. “This video is not available in your country”

  15. He looks exactly like Martin Short the comic fron SNL. I cant believe I once DL’ed his program and fully intended someday to watch it. I never did tho.

  16. This is the PUA side of game I write about disliking. One very key observation I made was the quality of women in the video and he gets a buzz out of getting a reaction from girls you just wouldn’t bother with. Sure, I’ve banged a few rotters before but if I was making a video to advertise my skills and a service to other guys, I wouldn’t be showing that I’m happy picking up the girls that he’s spending most of his time with in that video.

    The guys with him look utterly unconvinced. As you wrote, he should’ve just pulled that girl away who was into him at the 13-15 minute mark. Whether he genuinely missed the opportunity through failure to spot the signs, or he was playing up to the camera, or he was waiting for that absolute certainty that he was in remains to be seen.

    He’s a clown. That’s the perfect word for him. A performer.

  17. Great post. I also got a lot from the recent post on the gamma guy. I see in myself some of those rather toxic traits that these guys have or have adopted, and seeing them from an outside perspective makes you realise how much those traits hold you back, not just in terms of girls but much more importantly in everything you do. Accepting where I’m at and chilling out has changed my outlook and gives me a solid base to work from. Cheers.

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  19. Good call. Its really horrible to see idiots like him try to “teach” guys anything.
    Yes he probably gets laid once in a while – but considering the fact that he lives this “pua” life 24/7, his return on investment sucks.
    Most people dont think about ROI though. Which is a shame.
    Kelvin = funny man dancing monkey pua .. not sexual, just goofy

  20. Someone who gets laid even less than Vince.. LOL watch his latest YouTube videos. And he never worked for Love Systems..

    I always think it’s hilarious when people blatantly get facts wrong when they are so convinced they are right about something.

    Stop hating and start getting girls instead. As for Krauser well, none of the captions make any sense.

    Girl in elevator is creeped out? You need serious inner game work bro.

  21. First, gentlemen, LET’S TALK about what is being done on this site, since we’re going to ANALyze things. What the guys who run this site do is the lowest and sleaziest form of marketing. Notice up right it says BUY MY BOOK. Now how can they get more hits on their site, being you don’t even see their faces nor work? Take a globally known real artist, and write some trash about him and voila.

    I am very busy assisting people in over 53 countries and with more women than i can handle to waist time writing on blogs that offer no real value, but IT IS SO unfair to you the reader, we have to pine point this practice of shoke articles to drive traffic using other peoples hard work and names to do it.

    I wont bother with much more, other than:

    1. Men still busy trashing the work of other men? Lol…grow up boys.
    2. # 1 mistake of all least enlighten beings on this planet, to think they know before they even ask? THEIR ASSumptions in comments are so off!
    Girl in first seen is on the spot random makeouts. Crew you see them in most of my videos in so many different cities, of course they work for me and i treat them top notch. Black girl at the end is pulling ME. At W she had room upstairs, my phone was dead from being at it all day, guys w/ cameras were going to follow us in her room??? Helloooo???

    Enough said, but gentlemen, don’t be fooled by this krauser krap, he’s just desperatly trying to get traffic to his site.

    Cheers, Vince “Hollywood” Kelvin

    Peace Krauser, I offer a free bootcamp to you, and some inner game sessions to help you mature. Lol, seriously bro, you never even met me, be a real gentlemen, skype me, let’s chat, that how we do it, not hide behind a keyboard and think you’re the king of the world who’s figured out everything lol

    • Hey Mr makeout-with-ugly-girls, let me quote you from around 1:05 in your intro video:

      “I’ve created the most phenomenal collection of over a hundred and fifty audio and video programs”

      Cool bro. But 150+ audioprograms with weird theories doesn’t teach people half as much as if they spent their time taking action instead. But hey, there’s no money in results right? There’s much more money in selling neverending material, and tell people that “looks dont matter” so they never improve and keep buying your bullshit.

      You have probably fucked quite a few girls yes. And I dont doubt that you have company with girls and make out with quite a lot. But considering the fact that you have devoted over 20 years to picking up girls already, your return on investment is pretty fucking bad. And that’s not even mentioning the (lack of) quality of the girls.

      Buy hey, props for your marketing skills. You seem to be living a fun life, doing what you want, and making a lot of money on unknowing noobs. I wouldnt feel good about it myself, but if you do, I guess thats your conscience and your decision.

      Oh, and stop calling pickup a fucking art. Its just basic social skills and a numbers game.

      • Coming onto a blog and trying to be the bigger man, yet emphasising “anal” in “analysing” and “ass” in “assumption” speaks enough volume to me.

        Just needed “your mum” to top it off.

      • Oh how your limiting beliefs expose you.

        Vince, should I enlighten him or simply leave it at that.. I notice many in this situation simply do not reply and shrug off the person’s ignorance. As explanation is often seen as a defense.

        Truth is, in every bootcamp Vince tells his students that it is equally important to take action as it is to read and absorb material. Taking action but never learning anything you are likely to constantly repeat the same mistakes, while if you don’t take action well you never get anywhere, and as for looks don’t matter.. LOL one of the things Vince is hardest on me with is hitting the gym LOL.

        Also should explain that women and men see looks differently. Women don’t see looks in men the way we see looks in them. This is why often women say things like “omg he’s so gorgeous” or “he’s so hot” and we’re baffled like WTF he’s ugly as hell! BUT.. he has other hot qualities like he’s physically fit, for example.

        Looks are like a cheat code. Everyone knows this. However, if you SUCK you will still lose, no matter how good you look. Looks can make you pre-qualified but if you don’t have the game you’re not gonna pull it off. You don’t need looks. I have been overweight and pulled super hot chicks. I have footage of me in a hot tub with a hot ass girl and I’m like fat as shit like HOLY SHIT I look fat..

        but yeah, that’s about all the time I have. See I write because I genuinely want to help. Not because I want you to buy shit or anyone to buy shit. I have given a hell of a lot of value for free, and Vince even more with his constant blog posts which have way more value than trash-talking posts like this one. [Rather than read a response from me, I recommend my readers click on his public facebook link and browse the photos. That’ll tell you all you need to know. K.]

  22. “being in a hot tub with” does not equal “having sex with”
    just like “getting numbers from” or “making out with” doesnt.

    also, it is kinda funny why you are baffled that girls like physically fit guys.
    on the planet I live, its kinda obvious 😀

  23. Is this a parody? Really – it must be, he’s like the Ali G of pick up. I can’t believe that’s real.

  24. And the girls are all so ugly, I can’t even imagine why he could be bothered anyway, especially on camera, and for no result – either he’s a comic or he’s having a breakdown.

  25. 18:49 – seriously, tell me she could pay you.

  26. What nonsense Krauser!

    VK is the furthest thing from a scammer in pickup.

    #1, he charges the lowest rate in the community for his bootcamp and meet ups. He actually charges as low as $100 USD for some of his sessions unlike other so-called gurus who charge over $1,000 especially in the UK.

    VK is certified and he sticks to the script as far as never bashing the community for bullshit.

    Say what you want, but most of my game has come from VK, be it his NLP stuff and cold reads.

    VK is solid.

  27. The guys from are cool. But so is VK.

    • VK is a real PUA. Closed minded drones don’t understand shit. HE IS A BOSS. [I just checked out your blog and watched a few youtube vids. You’re better than VK, don’t waste your time with him. I’d remove the bullshit (“I’m the guy that fucks a new girl everyday”) and stick to the truth. You have ability. K.]

  28. Nothing said in Krauser’s breakdown actually discredits VK’s game but actually heightens it. Stop hating Krauser. You’re my man but you’re hating on VK without justification.

  29. Hm,interesting story about how NOT to do somehing

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  31. Spiritual mumbo jumbo and oomp loompa? your reductive materialist side and his height, should not be a part of your critique of his style.

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  33. comment section is being assaulted by sycophant dorks. krauser could have posted just the video with no commentary and made the same point.

  34. The commentary is like the result of examining poo with a microscope, kudos to K for his patience.

    There are a few things to take away from that video. One, peacocking at taking initiative makes people follow you; two, being the hot guy in a group of males, even if inferior, gives you the first pick on girls, even if ugly; three, even if girls open up to you and are into you, you can always fuck shit up with weird body language and sending them creep vibes; fourth, your game style determines the kind of girls you’re going to get; five, what the fuck!

    Vince & group get some of my sympathy after I realize for them the choice is between this and involuntary celibacy: being PUA weirdos vs being just weirdos.

    Some people cant attempt “natural game” or becoming alpha or improve themselves or go upper on the ladder or use whatever they have going on for themselves, so increasing their natural deficiencies, exaggerating them and peacocking them, advertising them, works best… plus, someone has to entertain the leftover women.

    Imagine – they dont see the girls on the elevator are freaking out, because their comparison point is much worse. At least now they are not running away. Vincent found a way to make women remain polite even while he’s making slight sexual remarks, and she’s not slapping him. One girl even makes out with him more than once. And sometimes he gets his dick wet. And a bunch of men recognize him as a man. That vs… the lack of any of it? Improvement, something to be proud of.

    Recognizing that reality can be better than that and that they are living in a dry smelly muddy corner of the dream, and that their dreamscapades look like retarded toodlers in a poo fight, and that there’s plenty to be done yet before they can get any real return from all they are putting in, must be hard to sallow.

  35. This is why the pick up community really twists my jiblets. A bunch of mysogonist sociopaths with their fingers up each others hole. TBH anyone with PUA after their name is a fukin tosser. Krauser or what ever your name is.. I’ve personally worked with VK and was involved with bringing him to Ireland to run bootcamps, as well as mystery and badboy amongst others. Of all the gurus out there VK was the only one who provided tonnes of value and authenticity. VK does not ‘peacock’, that is VK’s lifestyle. This man has a wealth of knowledge unsurpassed in the community and the experience to go with it. He’s not only a great teacher he’s also the real deal. Of everyone who has been judging the book and not the cover, ye all need to take a look at yourselves and do some really deep work on becoming men of higher character, cause for now you’ve really tainted any of your names. There’s no way I’d let you berate this man without having my say. And for anyone wishing to train with these fools.. run a mile at least till they show some genuine balls [Keep weaving your fantasy, pal. K.]

  36. You know, I’ve looked at Vince’s pirated products and it’s mostly mental masturbation. And the fact he so closely associates with clowns like Mystery, A Rash, etc. is more evidence of that. I’ve spoke with him, his sessions indeed are cheap and he does know a few things about women but, I strongly believe his products are malarkey. Especially the new ones, he just re-invents the wheel each time he releases a new item. Repackages old info as if it’s new, along with a lot of chatter. If he cleaned that up he could be considered “good”. ALSO- I would never advise anyone to come to a “boot camp”. You CANNOT learn how to be a man overnight. These are just pathetic sinkholes for your money to disappear in.

  37. 8 years later, all the bad stuff VK did, rsd also did in the last 3 years and made millions. don’t hate him he only charges 500 a bootcamp. lol

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