The highest social priority in a man’s life should be to earn the mutual respect of other high-value men. I call it the Rat Pack Life. It is in stark contrast to the low-value cretins and fakers who either have nobody’s respect or (barely better) they have the adoration of morons.

Consider Robbie Williams. He can’t sing, can’t dance, doesn’t write his material, and is basically talentless. He does have good looks and charisma so combine that with a fortuitous chain of events and suddenly he’s a superstar singing on stage in front of 20,000 adoring fans in RobbieFest, about 2/3s of whom are young nubile women, many of them pretty. Is that good?

Well, not to be sniffed at for sure. But how come he ended up a messed-up coked-up alcoholic in rehab whereas many other famous people did not. I think the parable of the Emperor’s New Clothes is instructive. Put simply, there was a massive incongruence between the public image of Robbie that he had to live up to, and the reality that he knew. He was a faker. But the morons in the audience were too moronic to know this. Cognitive dissonance and self-worth issues ensue.

"where did it all go wrong...?"

In contrast consider some genuine artists and accomplished men. These guys form natural rat packs of other high-achieving men. They hang out in a modern version of the hunting band. This is where a real sense of belonging comes from. Think George Clooney and his gang. No rehab for them. I think of it this way:

No amount of adoration from morons, no matter how many of them, can substitute for the mutual respect of a high value man.

Your goal in life should be to create your own rat pack. Seek out and befriend high value men. Gather around each other and live a life of epic coolness. The girls will come a distant second, but they will come. You don’t have to worry about your frame when you have your pack. It solidifies your inner game. Get the guys together, agree wing rules, and own the world with your awesomeness.

Aha, I mentioned wing rules. Finally I have arrived at the purpose of this post. Any time you go out with a wing you must have rules of engagement. Two or more guys operating in perfect harmony with a clear purpose can wreak havoc on untapped pussy. I’m reminded of a common sight in Estonia while I was there with Big Toe. I’d sometimes hang out at a “foreigners bar” while he was in the burrito shop stuffing his face. On at least four separate occasions the same scene played out before my eyes:

1. Four or more Brits on a stag do, clearly in sexual poverty where the only hot girls they see disrobe after receiving payment, are drunk outside a bar
2. A lone stripper approaches to rope them into her club by showering them with fake IOIs and leading them by the nose
3. Men are so blown away by the (fake) sexual attention of a halfway-decent woman that their tongues hang out and they metaphorically slit each other’s throats trying to clamber across each other’s corpses to get the attention of a woman they just met
4. Stripper struggles to hide her disgust that a group of guys who may have been friends for years will so quickly throw each other under a bus at the faintest whiff of pussy.

This is extremely low value behaviour. Girls are hard-wired to seek access to all-male groups and then wreck them with jealously plots. Consider pimp stables, football teams, Working Mens Clubs, the leading positions of civilisation….

Don’t fall for that shit. You can only get one notch from a girl. A good wing will get you 20 notches and boost the quality of your life in immeasureable ways by participating in the Rat Pack Life. No girls in the treehouse!

walking to the treehouse

Here are some basic rules of winging.

• Whoever opens the set is the Player. Everyone else is a Wing. The Player owns the set and plays it however he wants.
• The Wing’s job is to get the Player laid. At all times the Wing’s thoughts are towards moving the set in this direction.
• The Player is in the set and doing most of the work to carry it. He’s also outcome dependent because he’s trying to fuck the Target. This affords the Wing the unique position of third-party observation and thus the ability to see things the Player can’t, and make adjustments on the fly.
• The Player is always right. Never ever disagree with him and never take the Target or Obstacle’s side in a disagreement or tease.
• When the Player talks, the Wing shuts up immediately and listens. The Player always has the Wing’s full attention. This includes the subtletly of turning your body and feet to face the Player
• Wherever the best position is, the Player has it. If the Wing finds himself in that position by accident he contrives a reason to swap it with the Player.
• Never ever force the Player to the edges of the group or conversation. There will be a clear centre of energy in the interaction. Make sure the Player is it, not you or the girls.
• The Wing defers to the Player in subtle ways. For example he complies with the Player’s requests and looks to the Player for leadership (e.g. where to go for the next bounce)
• The Wing throws softballs to the Player to hit out of the park (e.g. “You’ve been to Rio too haven’t you?”)

I’ll post up a field report soon of wingwork in action from a set last night.

I think people are too obsessed with kino. It’s really not very important outside of the nightclub environment. The key to getting a girl across the sexual rubicon is to flip the switches in her hindbrain to make her feel that motion-towards of “I want this guy inside me”. The forebrain won’t help you much – think of it as a guarddog protecting the property and then just toss it enough bones to keep it distracted and quiet. When you start kinoing a girl you are unequivocally telling her hindbrain that you are chasing her – this will still work but it’s carrying her across the sexual rubicon not enticing her to make the leap herself.

I believe this is a crucial component in why most guys I know cannot achieve hand in their relationships. They set the frame in the beginning that they are chasing and she is the prize.

I like to multi-task my verbal escalation so that I can build comfort, show vulnerability, DHV, master her intellectually, heat her up, anchor her sexual feelings to me, while showing her a very easy path towards sexual gratification. I shot this video to give an example. The how-to explanation is in my book.

We begin the question game about 15 minutes after sitting down for a drink, after we’d had ten minutes shopping and before that ten minutes in the initial approach. This is a delayed instant date. Our total time since the cold approach was 35 minutes – that’s how quick you can go into this material if all the planets have aligned for you.

Things to look for in the video:

• My vocal tone is flat and calm. I’ve not got my tongue hanging out all excited to be talking about sex.
• I’m not propositioning her yet. The overt frame is we are getting to know each other. The escalation is a side bonus.
• I am genuinely interested in her attitudes towards sex and she can feel it’s authentic
• There is no judgement about morally good / bad. She feels free to open up
• I begin relatively light and then keep going deeper and dirtier. It’s a smooth progression.
• Her questions tell me alot about what she is interested about in me. In particular it allows me to preselect and also share deep rapport. Yes, you can get rapport during dirty talk.

See these posts explaining the principles behind Cocky Funny. He’s some of the lines Rocky uses in set:

* Let’s pretend we never had this conversation
* Why do I feel like I’m talking to my future ex wife ?
* (slow down when walking with her so you’re behind) Just checking out your arse!
* Mental note – never date this girl
* ….whatever!
* Nice, I’ll give you a point for that… if you get to ten points you get a prize!
* My mum warned me about girls from xxxxxx, but you could be the exception
* what did you do before you met me?!
* Are you married? No! So what’s the problem then?
* We make an awesome team… imagine our children… that could have your bubbly character and my perfect body… soooo cool, I love you
* For me you’ll always be my xxxxxx
* If you buy me a drink you might get lucky tonight
* It’s tough to be such a sex symbol
* You can be my personal bodyguard – let’s see if you’re strong enough!
* Look, we should go now because I have a date in two hours
* It’s tough being cute without being hit on…..sometimes I wish I was ugly
* Let’s have a xxxx-off
* Have you ever played imaginary frisbee? (“take one” out of pocket and pretend to play)
* And……back to me!
* Cheers…..to me!
* Just because I flirt a lot doesn’t mean I put out
* You know, I would really like to slide in here. I hope you didn’t take that the wrong way in.
* Sit down, please. Oh its getting really tight in here now. Maybe we should use prevention.
* You seem a bit tense… let’s get Tequila so you loosen up
* Opener: Oh my god, did you just grab my ass? You know I like it forward, but that’s even too much for me. Come on don’t deny, I saw you following me around
* Please don’t exploit me for my perfect body
* You know I am more than just a piece of meat. I mean, I am well hung and tender, but you just want me for my body.
* Is she always this cold? Your friend has been looking at me like a fat/hungry kid at a hamburger. Can you let her know that I am not on the menu for tonight, please
* You know we really make a great team: you got the character, I have the body. <only if she cut you out before> you have to promise that you won’t exploit me for my looks.
* Ok, I will stay here at the bar with you, but you have to promise that you won’t make a dirty move on me.
* We can have fun but please don’t touch
* You know I work on this body very hard; I go to the gym twice a week, well mainly for sex in the hot tub. <Let them laugh> You know, I’m all waxed. All I leave is this little treasure trail <point at stomach hair> and you know, more women walked down there than on Oxford Street
* You know I’m like cocaine: I am white and addictive and a lot of girls leave the bathroom with me all over their face
* Look suddenly at the floor, she will follow> I know it is hard, but stop looking down there (point at crouch). Keep your eyes up here. You are impossible, at least the last girl invited me for a drink first. <keep doing call back humor on it> You did it again.
* Don’t look at me like that. She: Like what? Well, you just wetted your lips, but forget it, I am not on your menu tonight. She: I didn’t wet my lips! Well, that’s what you say. Maybe you should go and check. She: Ohh, you are impossible! Well, I was hoping for some more romance, too!
* I feel so used now.
* She: I am gonna go to the bath room. You: You know, I was hoping for something more romantic. At least the last girl cooked me dinner first.
* Ok, I will come go dance with you, but I don’t wanna see any of this hip hop booty grinding. You are not gonna win me over like that. We need something more sensual with rhythm and style
* So are you glad you got to see me tonight? <she can’t possibly say no> She: Yes! Well, you could see more of me in the shower. If she says: No. You were not really thinking I was serious… let’s just be friends 🙂
* Let’s take this slowly, I don’t wanna get hurt. Check this girl out: she is awesome: she is smart she is funny she is in touch with herself, but she has never had a boyfriend
* So why did you approach me in the first place?
* OMG, she just admitted that she slept with over 100 men
* Sorry what did you just say?
* Sorry why was I talking to you again?
* So where are you going later? xyz. Ohh that’s too bad that means you won’t get to make out with me. That’s a real loss for you.
* She: I am thirty. You: What you are dirty?
* She: I am thirty one. You: What you are the dirty one?
* It got laid yesterday night. You: What you, got laid yesterday night. I really don’t need to know that (you can also say: I got laid yesterday and accuse her of only thinking about one thing)
* My last name is xx. Do you know what it stands for? Yes, what? Absolutely nothing!

DISCLAIMER

There are two issues with CF and it is very important to know about them:

Firstly, to do CF correctly you need a lot of practice. Unless you are naturally a CF character, like I was, it is not like you can just go out and expect the best results ever. I was CF “naturally” because me and my friends used to take the piss all the time. I say naturally because that’s what I learned before I even knew what game is. Yet, I firmly believe that everybody can be learn to be CF, just as I did. The more you practice the better you get. I have friends that were not naturally CF and over time they learned the skill and mastered it. They are just as good as I am now.

Secondly, I recommend practicing with a few CF routines to get started (like a street opener that you memorise), but to quickly move away from routines, as they can mess with your game: i.e. you get into your head, you come across mechanical and forget to escalate or seduce because you can get stuck in attraction. I got  stuck in attraction a lot because it feels very nice when you have 5 girls laughing with you. However, that doesn’t get you laid. You need to notice when to turn off the humor or you will end up as the dancing monkey.

Why does CF pump state?

In the worst case the girl walks off as in the camping ground example, but you still feel happy or even happier. Why is that so genius? It is genius because you have generated a protection mechanism against bad blow outs. Usually people lose state after really bad blow outs. They get internally affected and their state breaks as an emotional reaction to the blow out. They retread into their heads and the nasty voice in your head starts telling you stuff like: oh man you really suck. She didn’t like you. You are not funny and you have no skill. It is your ego talking and taking over. With a CF pattern that is less likely to happen if you really enjoy and amuse yourself with it for the simple fact that you amused yourself. You think instead: well, she didn’t like that, but I thought it was fucking funny and I will keep doing it just because I think it is funny. There is not the slightest hint of negativity in you finding things funny. It all comes from the mindset: I find it funny and if you don’t get it you are up your own arse. You need to chill, relax and have fun. Obviously CF is funny and very often you get very good reaction from it because people realise that if they can’t laugh at this stuff they are up their own arse. In the case they get the joke then that’s great because you can share the fun. But to be honest it doesn’t’ fucking matter because you are not depending on that anymore. Your state is just headed towards one direction: go go go!!

Why is CF flexible?

CF is flexible because it can be used to spike attraction throughout the pickup. In fact, to build sexual tension you lower your voice, pause longer between words, have moments of comfortable silence and you don’t joke. Similarly, in comfort you don’t want to break rapport by cracking jokes all the time. However, the conversation should always have the necessary bit of energy to keep it interesting or intense (silences can be intense and they can be boring and if they are boring then it is better to spike up the energy then to let the silence sit there for too long. You need to be able to realise which silences build sexual tension and which silences kill the momentum of the conversation). CF can be used to throw in some very short and effective spikes that will keep the girl alert and attracted. The more seductive the vibe gets the more you can spike with CF patterns that use sexual elements. For example: if you are talking about relationships and ex-lovers and it gets a bit too serious then spike it with a CF statement along the lines: “yeah, but anyway, it was a long story” (while using mannerism that indicates a long dick). In other words CF can be adapted to the stage of the interaction. Similarly, you can play with the weight that you put on the funny or cocky element of the pattern. The more cheeky you smile, the more your eyes light up after delivering the CF pattern, the more she will look for a funny twist in the story and the more she will laugh. If you smile less and stare her down after the statement the more she will think you are serious. Once you get very good at calibrating your CF patterns and delivery you can start to really fuck with her mind. You can deliver a CF pattern dead serious and wait for her to get turned off and then bust her balls for thinking that you were serious. You can imagine that the girl will have a hard time figuring you out and get self-conscious. The usual reaction would be: I never know whether you are serious or not. Stop teasing me. Translation: keep doing it and I will have no other chance then to get with you because attraction is not a choice.

In that sense, I am glad you got to read my post 😉

Rocky

part one is here . Examples coming soon

Allow me to introduce my good buddy, and top daygamer, Rocky. This is his two-part essay.

Ok, this is not a post on explaining how a pattern called cocky & funny (hereafter, CF) works. This post tries to look beyond the pure pattern. I explain how CF is perceived by others, how it benefits you and why CF works.

CF is a pattern that involves a cocky statement that is self-amusing and hence funny. An example would be to say: “With a body like mine you get hit on a lot“. A CF statement taps into a lot of different concepts: self-amusement, non-neediness versus neediness, external validation versus internal validation, value giving versus value seeking, state and flexibility.

Why does CF work? It can be summarised in one sentence: providing value by being self-amusing.

Funny, not cocky

Why do you provide value with a CF statement?

You provide value because you are being funny. There are different types of humour (self-deprecating, call-back, cheek-in-tongue etc.). In this case you are funny because you are raising your status in front of an audience and you are not trying to hide it. You are raising your status by talking about your outstanding physical appearance (for example). If you are a fat bastard it will be even more effective because there is an additional twist that surprises the listener.

Why are you self-amusing?

This can be traced back to the concept of status. It is common for a comedian to generate laughter by changing the status relationship between people. It is highly amusing if a high status person loses value. For example, picture the pope slipping on a banana. That’s funny. Then picture a bum slipping on a banana. That’s not as funny (well, if you are sick like me it is still funny, but you get the point).

Similarly, if you raise your status, which is what you do if you comment something cocky about yourself, then you are intentionally raising your status compared to the other person ( in a way that it is clear that you are joking) and that simply amuses you to their expense, because you have verbalised the status difference and made it real. That’s similar to a student asking me in class: so why is that the right solution to the problem. All I have to do is answer: because I am the PhD and the PhD is always right. He is the student and I am the teacher and simply verbalising this status different is self-amusing. In a sense it is the opposite of self-deprecation (cocky)

Ok, so we have understood that we are funny and self-amusing by being cocky at the same time. Now how does that tie in some more fundamental concepts?

Why does CF (sub) communicate non-neediness and internal validation?

You will find that a lot of people that are naturally strong with women are non-needy. Being needy means that you are looking for validation from other people; we can call that external validation. You are saying a line and you are waiting for a reaction from the other person. Often you see in set that people start to loosen up and relax when they see the first positive reaction from the girl (IOI). That’s a subconscious reaction to a validation seeking mindset and it subcommunicates neediness. Don’t worry; this is absolutely normal, especially if you are a beginner. I am not free from that reaction myself and I think that everybody has reactions to validation at times. What’s important to realise is that it is a huge turn off if you are talking to people to validate yourself. And here I am not talking about subtle cues that you are giving away: If you think of a situation when someone tried to validate themselves by talking to you know who irritating that feels. Imagine someone coming up to you and telling you a really bad joke and then asks you: that was really funny, right? Yes, you want to either hit that person in the face or just leave and that’s exactly how a girl feels when you approach with the mindset that you want validation from her. As an assumption let’s agree on the idea that you have to offer value to people in order to make them want to be around you. This statement in itself is promotes a validation seeking mindset because you want people to be around you. So you are seeking to provide value in order to have people around you; that’s needy. It is almost like you are paying them to be around you. That’s what the dancing monkey does: he loves the attention because it validates how cool and funny he is and he keeps cracking jokes seeking more and more validation. Now this is when CF is at its best because it communicates a very strong internal validation:

With CF you provide value but you are protecting the value by amusing yourself and that’s non-needy. The self-amusement subcommunicates a very non-needy mindset, because even if the girl does not react to your CF pattern, you have still amused yourself and you feel good. By that you have provided value to yourself. You are internally validated. I first started to realise this phenomenon on a subconcious level when I was 17 and on a camping trip in the states. We were a bunch of guys taking Jeeps around Moab getting drunk at night on a camping ground. We had something like a burb contest going. Who can burb the loudest? At some point a chick walked by as I was giving it my best and she said in a very serious voice with total disgust: oh my god, that is totally disgusting!! We just all started bursting out in laughter and she steamed off. We started imitating her as well: oh my god, that is totally disgusting *female voice*. It became a running joke. Obviously she didn’t get the fun of the situation and she was too much up her own arse but that was her problem. The realisation was: a hot chick shot me down while I was amusing myself. Did I care? Not one bit. As a matter of fact I used her response to amuse myself even more and to feel even better. This leads straight to the next concept: State

part two to follow