I just had a bit of a ding-dong with Steve Jabba over breakfast this morning as we were discussing some of the implications of his recent post on the three levels of Game. I thought I’d put a few notes down here for my readers’ edification.

My mother is a shrewish frame-controlling narcissist. Well up into my mid-twenties I’d not even seen anything unusual about this so thoroughly had I bought her frame as normal. Gradually as I got more life experience, discussed things with my brother, and spent longer periods of time away from her due to my living away from my hometown I started to see her behaviour more objectively. Don’t get me wrong she wasn’t a malignant narcissist and she has always been very giving in putting her children’s interests first. For a long time I even considered my childhood idyliic. But that frame-controlling…… here’s a sample conversation:

Her: How was your day?

Me: Pretty good. I’ve been looking for a new camera for a while. There’s a new Nikon advance companct I think I’ll buy

Her: um [impatient]

Me: I want something that’ll fit in my pocket but is pretty good at taking photos in low light, because then I’ll be able to carry it around on my travels but still get decent photos when I’m in pubs and

Her: [interrupt] Yes, pubs. You’ll love this new client at work. The family is…

Me: [interrupt] That’s got nothing to do with what we’re talking about.

Her: Yes, yes yes. So this new client…. [prattles on for half an hour about her job while I overtly show no interest]

My mother is incapable of talking about anything except herself and in particular whatever is at the front of her mind at that moment in time. She’s also got an extremely aggressive frame-push conbined with zero calibration and a refusal to listen to or learn anything new. Her reality is so strong that absolutely nothing can penetrate it unless there’s a predetermined spot prepared for that new information to occupy. Like transplanting an organ if there’s the slightest incompatibility the new information will be rejected out of hand. The frame-push is so strong she’ll constantly interrupt people and follow them around the house to keep chipping away. I’ll say things like “Stop talking to me. I’m trying to read” and it’ll just bounce off. She cannot process the world as it is. Feedback is not allowed into her complex reality-weave.

I consider this a learning disability. In earlier times she’d likely have been murdered.

So that’s what I grew up with. Whereas my father just rolled over and “yes dear”ed his way through the marriage I fought it the whole way through my childhood until I’d internalised the same frame. Narcissistic contagion. A strong frame combined with zero calibration is a recipe for social ostracisation as you dominate social gatherings without taking due care that others are enjoying the situation. Before long they just avoid you. I do that now with frame-controlling weirdos – although I can easily rip the frame off them I just see no point in expending the energy so I just freeze them out of my life.

The trappings of civilisation

The manosphere didn’t exist in my twenties. I had no vocabulary to describe these dynamics, just blue pill psychology. It never crossed my mind that twenty-five years of resisting a frame-controlling narcissist had a hugely positive silver lining: (i) a bulletproof frame (ii) a strong regard for protecting my own self interest. I struggled to reconcile these attributes with society’s expectations and my own moral code. Put simply, I felt like my animal brain was a barely-domesticated pitbull straining on a leash held by my human brain. The thin veneer of civilisation that covered the beast inside existed only because of a constant restraining effort on the part of my learned logical forebrain. If I let the pitbull off the leash it would just run amok. Not high-school-shooting-amok (I felt no hate to society or urge towards violence) but that the pitbull would just run directly to whatever it wants and take it, consequences be damned. Then like a dog owner cleaning his dog’s shit off someone else’s front lawn, I’d have to deal with embarassment and social fallout as I try to return my self-opinion to that of a gentleman. A respectable member of the community. So I consciously learned to moderate by behaviour to prevent the pendulum to swing out to the extremes – I came to deny myself both exhuberance and anger. I learned state control and a poker face.

Of course this barely-civilised barbarian schtick is a big part of why women fell for me. Blue pill beta that I was I felt it but couldn’t get it into my logical brain.

Many men remember their first encounter with the manosphere (taking the red pill) as a Great Liberation. It’s the moment when a respected elder teacher puts his arm around your shoulder and says “It’s ok to feel like this. You aren’t the only one. Your feelings and secret theories are right. It’s the world that’s wrong.” Women get the same immense relief when I put them in their place.

in touch with his core

Now I see that men are supposed to impose themselves upon the world. Men are supposed to put their own interested front and centre. Women are attracted by men who do this and feel secure around them. You do need to put the leash on the pitbull in order to navigate through society. Unrestrained alphas don’t last long in modern society – sure we can point to some apex alphas who are killing it, but that’s survivor bias. The road to successful alphadom is littered with the graves of failures. To build the metaphor further, you need to accept your inner pitbull. Accept the aggression. Accept the animal spirits. Accept the urge to chase the car down the street and piss against a lampost. Don’t forget you’ll need a wise owner on the end of the leash lest the exterminators come around with a court order.

And don’t for a moment consider exchanging the pitbull for a poodle.

I have written how I consider men’s lives to follow three fundamental phases: foundations, accumulation and maintainance. Don’t overthink this it’s just a convenient mental map to be deployed where useful. So let’s consider the second stage which typically begins upon graduating university or beginning an apprenticeship.

Goal: Max out your manly talents of intelligence, creativity, wealth-generation, physical competence

The accumulation phase could equally be described as “setting yourself up for life” or “becoming the best man you can be”. It’ll typically take you the whole of your twenties. Whereas the foundational phase was building the well-rounded basic skills of life taking advantage of the general education granted to children while side-stepping the weakness inherent in kids of not knowing who they are or what direction they wish to go in, the accumulation phase is about specialisation. Society channels you down predetermined tunnels as a kid fixing everyone on more or less the same generic path. Where foundation is Call of Duty (“follow the NPC”) accumulation is Deus Ex (“augument and choose”). I’ll let you in on a little secret right now:

There’s no money and no status to be had from being a generalist. All the upside is in specialisation.

Specialisation, in the future

1. Choices

What does that mean to you, dear reader? First off you have to carefully marshall your intellectual, physical and emotional resources. Make careful decisions on what skills you seek to acquire.

• The payoff for any given skill is wildly disproportionate to its difficulty
• If something is enjoyable, its probably not lucrative. Expect to make tradeoffs
• Scaleable skillsets are a huge gamble

Consider language learning. It’s a difficult task involving hundred of classroom hours and, to be fluent, living in a country where its spoken as a native. I had university friends doing language degrees and almost exclusively the only ones who got good jobs did a joint honours with another skill. Spanish on its own will help you navigate South America but it won’t add a penny to your salary unless it’s combined with a real money-making skill such as accounting, engineering or law. Speaking of language, they are not all created equal. Japanese takes approximately three times longer to learn than Spanish or French and it’s only useful for one country. Serbian is bloody difficult and only useful in one small country where per capita income is only $11,000 and they all speak English anyway. Why on earth would anyone learn Serbian unless they are fully commited to living there for years on end? It’s just a dumb waste of effort.

Consider the UFC. That’s the biggest-paying promotion for the sport of MMA. There’s only one PPV every six weeks or so which only has six TV fights per show across all weight divisions. So that’s twelve fighters getting TV-level paydays per show making an annual total of TV-paydays about 104 slots. Assuming you are fighting at that level and get offered a slot, it’ll be a minimum of six week’s training with its attendant costs. Probably 20% goes to your manager and gym. Assuming no medical costs or long injury-related layoffs, fight four times a year, and assuming you win every fight (so statistically 75% of fighters won’t manage even this) you are spending 24 weeks in training and getting by on four paydays. Now go look at how much these guys get paid.

Shocking. Truly shocking. And this is at the most lucrative end of the sport. The top guys do fine (well, not compared to £80k per week footballers but fine compared to normal guys) but look past the top 5 names. Most MMA guys are taking <£10,000 a fight. Drop down to the next level of show and its <£1,000. For six week’s work. I make that in two days sitting at my desk. When I have a bad day at the office I don’t get beat up too.

The lesson isn’t that I’m awesome and fighters suck. The lesson is some careers are far better than others despite being considerably easier and considerably less risk. The 437th-best lawyer in London earns considerably more than the 10th-best London MMA fighter and that income is far more stable. My advice is treat the exciting careers as a hobby.

Nicolas Taleb writes well on the risk/reward payoffs of scaleable careers. The general self-improvement advice is choose a business / career where you can scale upwards. Acting, music, software are classically scaleable careers. If you can be Seinfeld (syndicated worldwide), or have Gangnam Style (200+ million youtube views), or write the next Angry Birds then you can rest on your royalties. The problem is survivor bias and winner-takes-all. The very nature of a pyramid business structure is that only one pharoah is buried in it. Freakonmics has a great essay on how the scaleability of the drug dealer business model means almost everyone earns less than minimum wage and sustains themselves on the dream of being the one Mister Big. Don’t gamble your life’s trajectory on being that one guy. If you truly believe you’ll overcome unsurmountable odds buy a lottery ticket. And stay away from battlefields.

Yes, that’s me

In summary, choose your career wisely. Don’t be afraid to switch careers before you become too committed. Your risk appetite likely differs to mine but here’s my dream list of career conditions:

• Based on a real skillset that is difficult to learn (e.g. accounting, medicine, architecture)
• Most of the population is literally unable to compete (e.g. requires too much abstract thinking, training period is too stressful, entry costs are too high, apprenticeship is difficult to obtain)
• Nature of the job cannot be adequately offshored or automated because it relies on high-trust thinking, verbal knowledge, quality decision making, and personal contact (e.g. law, computer programming)
• Stable income stream with a large pool of commoditised jobs (e.g. accounting, contract law, computer programming, consulting)
• EDIT: I haven’t read this book but it looks like a great resource for choosing a career: “Worthless”

2. Excellence

Once you’ve started on your career your main goal is to become really good at it. Shine your star as bright as you can. Take real passion in excellence for its own sake. Ignore all those office-politics TV shows and books that would convince you advancement is all about who you know. No. Right up until you hit senior management advancement is what you know. Consider pick-up: what is the more successful strategy (i) learn the secret code to bullshit women into your bed or (ii) become the kind of high value man that pretty women want to sleep with? Precisely. When you know full well that every single day you go into the office you are producing high quality work, when every single product you deliver to a customer is best-in-class…. the money will keep rolling in. I’ve read all of Robert Green’s books. He’s right in his 48 Laws of Power and his 33 Strategies of War but these are only effective at the margins. Consider them defensive positioning so that the passive-aggressive office freaks can’t hurt you. Do not willingly engage in such petty power games or you’ll take on the character of your opponents. Never wrestle a pig. You both end up covered in shit but the pig likes it.

An internet forum HB8

At the beginning of your career things are rather nebulous. Your academic record matters but both you and your prospective employer know your basically a know-nothing kid who needs to be trained up on the job. So heading into an interview your vibe, character and potential matter alot. Five years down the line it’s all about genuine markers of geniune skill. Do you have the industry-standard qualification? Do you write the industry-leading program code? How many sales did you bring to your last company? Whatever the metric is, you are on stronger ground having acheived the matric through being excellent at your job than bullshitting your way through with gambits you learned in a self-help book. The business world is not as dumb as you may think.

3. Intelligence

Your twenties are your peak brain-forming years. You can google yourself all the studies showing how artists are most productive in their twenties, how creative thinking is maxed out in those years. By spending your twenties feeding your mind you will become more intelligent. I’m lucky – I spent the whole of my twenties straining and challenging my mind quite naturally by taking a difficult study-intensive job, reading hundreds of books, writing for several publications, learning a foreign language, cerebrally learning martial arts (in addition to the raw physical side), playing intellectually engaging video games etc. I was not simply sitting on my sofa with a bag of Wotsits watching X-Factor. You must find challenge in your twenties. Work is a great place for it but also consider your leisure time. Learn expert systems. Take joy in it, whether it be chess, crossword puzzles or Starcraft. You must read alot, with a good portion of those books being stimulating rather than mere entertainment. Set yourself little projects within your hobbies. Here’s a sample of what I did in my twenties:

• Learn how global financial and economic flows work. I found five top quality technical blogs to read daily and deepened my knowledge of sectors through reading about 45 books. It took eighteen months.
• A deep dive into Japanese culture. I studied the language at a school, watched lots of anime with English subtitles, and read English-language translations of major Japanese fiction.
• Micro-analyse fighting arts. I watched a few hundred MMA and kickboxing shows live, analysing the fights as I watched rather than limit myself to letting in wash over me. I read theory pieces on technique, followed the major magazines, learned what I could from fighter records (and to predict future fights), tried to pick out moves in fights to practice in the gym etc.

Those are my hobbies, don’t feel obliged to mimick them. Notice a common trend is my frame was to identify intriguing questions and then set out to answer them. Even the dryest blogpost on sub-prime ALT-A mortgage servicing fees becomes fascinating when it’s the answer to a question you’ve been asking yourself. That’s how your brain glows.

Accumulation is by its nature a forward-thinking phase with considerable deferred gratification. You’ll take alot of manly pride in building your castle but there’s no getting away from the fact that it’s alot of hard graft. You must be prepared to work hard. There is no shortcut because your brain and body require the hard work in order to reach their potential. Even if somehow inexplicably you were to stumble upon a suitcase full of millions you could not shortcut this process. Sure, you’d be financially set for life but all those other male attributes would wither on the vine.

Done correctly, you will end the accumulation phase towards your early thirties with the following dimensions to your character:

• Clever as fuck
• A highly marketable skill set so you need never fear unemployment
• A huge reservoir of interesting knowledge about the world, it’s culture and history

Congratulations. You are now entering your SMV prime holding four aces.

Becoming closer to this

*NB* – I didn’t touch on physical culture, fashion or other lifestyle areas. I’m assuming you know you should continue working out and learn to dress well. By necessity this post can only touch a few concepts so don’t think this is all there is. And of course don’t get married. I’d also add don’t buy a house or do anything else that ties you long-term to one place and high monthly payments. I’ll discuss that more in the final part…….. and btw, this is my 500th post.

Rather a grandiose title but it is something of an intriguing question – how does a 37 year old office worker (rather than say 22 year old star athlete) continually get told by SMV-prime young women that he’s the best sex they ever had? I hear it from about 50% of them. Now some of this will be that I clack low-N girls who thus have a limited frame of reference. I’ll freely admit there’ll be men out there who do it better than me. Nonetheless, I’ll share my thoughts on why I repeatedly have this effect on girls.

• Rule #1 – Her perception of your value is more important than your technique
• Rule #2 – Domination is the biggest turn on
• Rule #3 – Please yourself above pleasing her
• Rule #4 – Have full control of your touch

Let’s run through these in turn.

Rule #1 –  Her perception of your value is more important than your technique

A common misconception in the Blue Pill world is that you improve her estimation of your sexual ability by becoming better at bedroom gymnastics, whether this be through tantric weirdness, karma sutra positional knowledge, finding the g-spot, or a viagra-enhanced longevity. That’s all supplicating bullshit. Her estimation is overwhelmingly determined by how high value she thinks you are. Just think back to selected highlights of your own sex life. I’ll bet money that the top three memories are the top three hottest women no matter how they performed. Just as fat old hags are wasting their time learning better blowjob skills, qualifying spineless men are wasting their time reading techniques of sexual mastery. Improve your value, project it well, and hold the frame. In short, extend your Game to the bedroom.

The frame fell off

Rule #2 – Domination is the biggest turn on

I haven’t talked much about 50 Shades of Grey on this blog due to my instinctual distaste to be letting my mind be led by popular trends. I’m the guy who doesn’t buy Black Ops 2 until six months after release. Nonetheless I have dipped into that book and can see why it’s a cause celebre. It’s served me as a jump off point with a few girls to turn conversations sexual and explore their limits. The key takeaway, of course, is dominance. Fix this before you move onto the lower-order technques. This means things like:

– Never ask permission. You’ll need calibration to learn when to move forwards and when to play it safe but even when the latter never actually ask permission, just don’t take that step forward until her mood is right. If you must ask it’s not “Can I…?” or “Shall we…?” it is “I want to….” and leave the question hanging in the air unasked. Growl into her ear “I’m going to (something explicit)” then slowly begin doing it. Her opportunity to say no is in the time delay of escalation. If she really wants to say no, you’ll hear it then.

– Only “Stop”, “No” and a deliberate physical disengagement count as non-consent. Girls will give you all kinds off soft refusals that are meant to be overridden. It’s just her forebrain-hindbrain conflict resolving itself outloud by giving herself plausible deniability. Often the refusal is part of her enjoyment in rubbing up against your manhood. So ignore “we shouldn’t do this” or “this is too fast” or “we should go back downstairs” etc. If her hands are still exploring and her crotch still grinding then proceed as planned. If that stuff stops you need to slow down and add a little comfort such as stroking her hair, kissing her forehead or looking into her eyes and giving a gentle smile. A firm no will come in a firm non-sexual tone of voice. A token no still rings with passion. You’ll know the difference. If in any doubt use the fire escape move – get up and go to the bathroom leaving her a clear line to the exit. If she hasn’t taken it within a minute or so, return as your were. A girl giving a firm no will quickly rearrange her clothes and remove herself from the area of sexual conquest. If she doesn’t do so take it as a green light.

– Always lead. You are a tsunami of sexual power sweeping her little fishing boat of innocence along an irresistable wave. She needs this to feel the thrill of submission. Make her feel the inevitability of eventual surrender because this’ll excite her far more than an explicit mutual consent. This isn’t a freely-entered sexual union of equals. No sir, you are ravishing her against her better judgement.

A ravishing, yesterday

Rule #3 – Please yourself above pleasing her

I never go down on a girl. I don’t think I’ve done it in five years and I’m not about to start now. Surely I’m selfish. Surely girls will hold that against me when dispensing their own sexual favours……. no. Far be it for me to advise you against going down if you happen to enjoy doing so. I just find it unappealing and unbecoming of a man. I associate going down with supplication.

Women will often mid-ravishment blurt out words to the effect of “use me for your pleasure!” That’s the hindbrain talking. Women know they exist to satisfy the man in their lives be it ironing his shirts or swallowing his cum. Her hardwired state-of-nature survival strategy is to attach to a man and then make sure to keep him happy so he allows her to remain attached rather than casting her out into a world she is ill-equipped to navigate alone. Keep this in mind in your bedroom. She is there to satisfy you. Thanks to the wonder of nature her satisfying you will give her satisfaction and you don’t lose the frame.

Men who dedicate themselve to giving women orgasms, oral sex and longevity are just beta-boy sexual providers. It’s a sport fuck to her. Little different from going to the spa to have some maids pamper her with a different kind of facial. She’ll enjoy it, you’ll get sex, and the chemical reaction may even keep her around but you’ll have no domination. She’ll be her own woman, not your woman.

Fuck the girl like she’s a rag doll. Do whatever turns you on. Finish whenever you’re ready. When she asks for something don’t give it right away. When girls give me a sexual request e.g. “I want you behind me” I’ll look into her eyes, smirk, and say “I know”. Maybe I’ll do it later, maybe I won’t. If she gets a little insistent grab her rougher and as you look into her eyes give her a really hard thrust. That’s a way of saying shut up that she appreciates.

Come wherever you want to. If she’s dodging having it on her face then go for the breasts, making sure an accidental spurt gets some of her face. If she’ll take it on the face try and get a little bit in her eye or up her nose. Unapologetically.

Something to wipe your cock on. If she has no curtains.

The one big caveat in all this is – let her know you are enjoying her. Breath heavy into her ear, give some low growls of satisfaction, smirk, give the occasional flattering compliment (“I love fucking you”). The woman needs to know you appreciate her offering herself up for a ravishing. She wants to fantasise herself being used, not to actually be used. So mix a little velvet in with the steel.

Rule #4 – Have full control of your touch

A strange observation in my life has been that Brazilian Ju Jitsu has offered me far greater profit in the bedroom than it ever has on the street. I spent a couple of years rolling around on the mats in my angry white pyjamas slapping on armbars and triangle chokes, learning a half-guard game and all sorts of other such stuff. Yet I haven’t had a streetfight in ten years. It’s an entirely different blogpost why this is (basically, hard targetting and good control of my monkey brain) but one of the ironies of MMA is you take a far greater accummulated punishment in self defense training than you ever would if you were just a fag hipster who accepted his periodic street beatings.

But when it comes to sex, nothing beats a solid MMA background.

Part of it comes into 1) because MMA raises your physical confidence. Partly it’s 2) because you’ve already learned dominance over other men and she can feel your strength. Most of all you are bringing physical competence into the bedroom. MMA gives you exceptional hand-eye coordination, balance, control of your weight distribution and the ability to efficiently move another person’s body around. Here’s a few of the techniques I employ:

– Grip: Women love to be held firm, crushed in a man’s arms but they recoil from actual physical pain. Consider how to grab a woman’s wrist when you want to pin her hand to the mattress, do you use your fingers or palm? I grip her the same way I’d grip a man when applying a kimura or chicken wing. Study the diagrams. Often when on top I’ll hook my arm around her neck and pull her close but I’ll use the same grip as a rear-naked choke (but reversed).

imperfect technique

– Pins: BJJ teaches you to hold people down. Women love being pinned to the mattress unable to move, its why they like being tied up. So remember her four points (two shoulders, two hips) are more solid pins than her wrists and ankles. I often press my forearm onto the front of her shoulder and grab a handful of hair at the base of her skull (same hand). This pins her upper torso, immobilises the head and she fucking loves it. Sometimes I press down on one side of the hip as if to begin a guard pass. All of this can be done without any pain to her. She feels roughed up and steamrolled but no acute pain. This is the physical expression of steel and velvet.

– Weight: MMA fighters hear common refrains such as how when on top you should seek to be as heavy as possible and close down space (bottom game is the reverse – don’t be flatbacked, get the weight off you, and create some distance). During sex you should be in full control of your weight at all times. Mix it up. When your tempo is hard and fast, crush her with your superior size. When you ease off, rise back and take off the pressure. Like riding a horse you have to listen to the feedback to know how hard you can push her. Ease up occassionaly so she doesn’t faint.

– Control: Put her body where you want it. When you’re standing, walk her backwards into a wall and push her against it. When you want to put her on the bed, pick her up and throw her there. When she’s lying on her back naked and you’re about to stick it in DO NOT go to her. Hook a hand under each thigh and pull her to you in one alarming motion. When you’ve finished slamming her missionary style, shrug her leg over a shoulder and turn her over. She should feel her body completely under your control at all times. This turns her on. If she rises up put your hand on her sternum and push her back down. Put your palm over her ear/temple area and push her face into the mattress (side-on, so as not to interfere with her breathing) and keep it there.

Yes, it’s a girl on the right

Lastly, I’ll finish with a few little power moves I like to do:

1. This can be done pre-sex or while standing up during sex. Grab her neck like a one-handed rapist choke (remember the grip! powerful but not painful, don’t actually squeeze) and straight-arm her back into a wall. Look powerfully into her eyes and, still pinning her to the wall, reach down with your other hand to pick up your whiskey glass and take a measured drink. Put the glass down, turn back towards her, and violently kiss.

2. In a standing hug / smooch do a few tender touches like running your fingertips through her hair at your temple, kissing the forehead. Then abruptly hoist her up in a fireman’s carry and do a slow helicopter spin. Deposit her on a nearby sofa or bed.

3. During a rough-hard tempo of the sex when she’s gasping and moaning take a handful of hair at the base of her skull and yank it so her face is looking up at yours. Do some variation of the following – pausing for her responses:

Look at me (hold dominant eye contact) Look at me. (slowly pull your cock almost completely out and leave it out for a few seconds, continuing to look at her. She’ll usually give an imploring look. In your own time, slam her really hard with one long thrust that moves her whole body halfway up the bed. Treat it like a punishment. Rinse and repeat a few times).

Look at me. You like my cock in you, don’t you. You like it hard and deep. You like it sliding in and out. Moving your body with my power. You like feeling my strength don’t you etc

Look at me, woman. Whose woman are you? You’re my woman, aren’t you. Say it. Say you’re my woman. (replace “woman” with “dirty bitch” if appropriate). Yes, you’re my woman. Your job is to please me. And when you please me, I reward you with my cock.

Once sex is finished always give her comfort. Lie on your back like a king and pull her into you until she’s nuzzling against your chest. Stay like that for ten minutes, absent-mindedly stroking her hair and softly running your fingers along her arms. This is where you get the double-whammy of oxytocin-bonding and a balance of soft dominance to offset the hard dominance of the rough sex.

That ought to give you dear readers a flavour of it.

There’s a convention in the community to refer to “attraction” and “comfort” as separate stages in a seduction. While generally true, it’s also fair to say once a relationship is progressing you can easily mix them together in the same action. Spice it up with a little frame control and away you go. Here’s something Athol would call an alpha move, then probably scratch his bald head and also say it has lashing of beta.

How to buy a girl a present.

Rule #1 is don’t spend much time, effort or money on it. It’s either an afterthought when you saw it and realised it’s suitability. Or, you’re just amusing yourself to playfully mess with her.

There’s no Rule #2. An easy go-to are the Little Miss books. Whatever characteristic of her you want to mock and frame control her with, you can bet she’s got a Little Miss named after it. I recently bought girls these:

Serb A

Serb B

If she’s a more introverted girl who doesn’t take teasing well, consider a more gentle rub. My Serb C is still lacking comfort so I’ve got her Little Miss Sunshine. £2 per book, light to carry in your pocket, and she’ll invest herself reading and re-reading it while Roger Hargreaves does all the reframing for you.

I have a female friend who works in mental health. All day, everyday she is conducting interviews, assessments and site visits for problem families. Everyday she is wallowing in the filth of society’s dregs: junkies, alcoholics, wife-beaters, husband-beaters, child abusers. In her spare time she reads books about famous serial killers or Silence of the Lambs type fiction about serial killers and for TV watches Eastenders. This is a woman who thoroughly enjoys an environment filled with human scum.

I have another female friend who works in fashion. All day, everyday she is at fittings, castings and catwalk shows. Everyday she is engaged in the superficial concerns of styling, hairdressing and make-believe images of beauty, surrounded by homosexual men, vapid models, chancer agents and none of them capable of turning up on time for an appointment nor getting through the day without at least one hissy-fit. This woman deals with such shallow characters by retreating into her thoughts and reading books during breaks.

I work in the banking industry in a job where I’m in constant contact with senior management and team leaders in highly technical fields. I live in a house full of friends in one of London’s nicer areas. I socialise in entertainment hubs such as Soho and Covent Garden. So I’m waking up every morning in a nice house in a nice area and chatting to some carefully-selected friends over breakfast. I shuttle into work on the rush hour commuter train with other gainfully employed people, arriving in the City – a concentration of high-earning high-skilled law-abiding tax payers. All day I deal with highly intelligent men with solid upper-tier university educations and 10+ years of dedicated career experience. These men are typically well groomed, in decent shape and take great satifaction from the job responsibilities they hold and the daily exercise of their hard-won skillset.

These are examples of what I call cocooning, a fundamental tool in reality weaving. The first example shows strange priorities but she’s crafted the environment that gives her pleasure. The second example is a failure to cocoon and it brings her down, forcing defensive behaviour on a daily basis. The later is done well to my priorities.

Why would this be a bad thing?

Cocooning: Structuring your social environment so you only come into contact with the people you like in situations which bring out their best.

London is a multi-cultural socialist cesspit yet it also contains some of the world’s best and brightest. If you can organise your life so you never need engage with (or even see) the capital’s scum then you are not dragged down by them. A wise man said you are the average of the five people you spend most time with. True. You are what you eat. True. Additionally, you take on the colour of your surroundings. Once of humanity’s greatest adaptative strengths is our ability to mold ourselves to the environment and at the same time symbiotically shape it to our needs. That’s why eskimo kids grow up loving snow while Brazilian kids love football.

Reality weaving means structuring your reality to constantly reinforce the identity you want, the emotions you want, so right action becomes effortless. Consider some “big issue” choices you can make:

Accommodation: Do you want a bigger apartment in a shitty part of town or a small room in a nice part? Both are acceptable but consider the implications. The bigger apartment is suitable if you expect to spend most of your downtime there as a commuter dormitory and are willing to pimp it up. If you like to go outside and hang out with your neighbours you’ll lean towards the smaller room.

Workplace: We don’t all get to choose our employer but often you’ll be sitting on a few job offers and the company culture differs. Say you’re an IT programmer. Do you want to work in a fast-paced investment bank surrounded by the elite minds of your industry and high levels of professionalism, an office where you take lunch in a City enclave like Paul or M&S. Or perhaps you prefer to be a top guy in a team of mongs knowing you’ll get an easy ride and less stress, but you’ll have to take lunch alone rather than listen to prattling office gossip. It’s a choice.

Entertainment: This is an easy fix. Channel hopping through cable for prole shows like X-Factor, Britains Next Top Mong and Jeremy Kyle will invite sloth and degeneracy into your mind. I like to absorb cultural products that involve special people achieving special things even if that’s just Jack Bauer being very good at smoking terrorists. Entertainment that creates its dramatic tension by having mediocre people fucking up or vomiting up the dreary minutae of their dreary lives dulls me into apathy.

Travel: We live in an age where we can easy forage far and wide. I used to quip “I only go out drinking when I’m in a foreign country”. You may decide to place your work cocoon in a high-pay/high-cost environment such as London and set up social cocoons in low-pay/low-cost environments such as Latvia and Bulgaria. A typical partying weekend in London could easily be:

• Beers after work: £20
• Club Entry: £20
• Cocktails: £40
• Curry: £30
• Taxi home: £20
• Total: £130

That’s not even extravagant but it’s £130 to go to shitty bars full of unpleasant unattractive women and be subject to the mongs and immigrants of the general poplace. It’s just as easy to spend the weekend as:

• Flight to Zadar: £50
• Transfers: £20
• Airbnb room: £20
• Drinks: £30
• Food: £10
• Total: £130

Same price but you’ve travelled to a monoculture in a civilised country with beautiful women and pleasant environs. Each to his own, but that’s what I prefer.

Welcome to Zadar

There’s no rocket science in cocooning. Most of us already tend towards it through our daily preferences. I’d just say be aware how powerful a self-aware engagement with these principles can be as choices arise and you do occasional cocooning audits of your life to map out where you are relative to where you wish to be.

I recently parsed the history of Game, drawing out macro themes that emerge from the busywork of thousands of individual explorers, theorists and deniers. Painting in such wide brushstrokes necessarily ignores nuance and diversity so my apologies to those of your who feel your school of thought was unfairly represented. Not that I give a fuck. The obvious question is what comes next?

Predictions are difficult to make, especially about the future. Rather I’ll address a question that gets directed my way regularly through emails and comments: I’m a young guy setting off on the path, what should I do? So here I’ll set up a high-level view of one solution. It’s heavily informed by my own experiences and interests so feel free to flex it to your own circumstances. I haven’t followed this path exactly – it’s an idealised version based on learning from the mistakes of myself and others. First internalise the following axioms:

• A woman’s value is mostly fixed at birth. Her strategy is to maintain that value, prevent it’s erosion (e.g. through bad diet or feminism), and learn how to present it to men. Conversely a man’s value is mostly built through his life choices. A high value man is the outcome of a long process relying upon part genetics, part mentoring, part luck, and lots and lots of self-directed hard work. This is why Eastern European women (and women from low-middle GDP countries generally) are so much higher value than their men – the conditions for creating high value women are abundant whereas the specific circumstances to get the best out of men are rare.
• Your life is a project to be managed according to goals of your choosing. In psycho-babble the locus of control is internal. Does a top poker player bemoan his hand and resign himself to defeat? No, he plays his cards the best he can and pounces on the opportunities that arise. A wise man once said “investment success is not about winning more than you lose. It’s how much you win when you’re right, and how much you lose when you’re wrong.” You must take control of your life’s path.
• There are three phases to a man’s life: foundation, accumulation and maintenance. Roughly analogous to a farmer ploughing the field, sowing the seed, and reaping the harvest. The limits to each phase are set by how well you executed the preceding phase.
• Working smarter is better than working harder, but you’ll still have to work hard. Do not search for a Wop Paradise where you can lie in a hammock and everything just comes to you.

1. Foundation (birth to first real job)

Chances are you will have already completed this phase before reaching the maturity and self-awareness necessary to know there was even a process to follow. If so, console yourself by knowing you can now mentor the younger generation to steer the boys you care about onto the right path. Modern society gives you fifteen years of free education and fifteen years of free time with which to pursue it. This is an opportunity you will never get again – your bills paid for you and no expectation except to learn. Yes the education system is fucked, yes university is a long-con, and yes most teachers are socialist parasites but you can still make it work for you. Enjoy your study, keep focused on the prize, and do not fall into the slacker frame of “it’s all bullshit” and you need to “keep it real” on the streetz, yo. So what is the goal?

Goal: Build the basic foundational skills that society expects of all its functioning members.

It’s not rocket science yet. Example… Learn to read actively. It’s easy to doze off in class and let your eyes just wander down the page, passively letting the words float over you. No. Approach each text as a potential solution to the problems your mind has identified. Most of you theory-junkies here are passionate about Game theory because you can sense it’s giving you real answers to real problems. Approach academic study the same way. Life is full of hugely interesting side stories if you’ll just allow yourself to enjoy them. Most of my school friends found History boring – just a bunch of old stuff of little relevance. For me, each module was a self-contained tapestry of stories and biography. Think of all the richness and colour of human experience in Napoleon’s march on Moscow, or the technical excellence of Nelson’s strategy in the Battle of Trafalgar. Consider the politicking and economics of the Corn Laws and their eventual repeal. Every subject is what you make it. Ask yourself the right questions going into it, set yourself the right frame, and you can strike your own personal gold from your education. This will translate into good academic scores, win-win relationships to teachers, and planting the seeds of excellence into a fertile mind. The main risks here are (i) your classmates – you need to avoid social exclusion while not letting the crabs pull you back into the barrel (ii) maintaining motivation when you’re still a young man who isn’t sure of himself.

As you approach your late teenage years choices open up over what you study and where, such as choosing a university. It’s vital that you take control of your choices. Don’t sleepwalk into a university course. Do not choose a course to learn about society / philosophy / arts / literature / sociology. The reason for the latter is that there are much cheaper, much better ways to get that education on the side while reserving your large time-cost university investment into a subject that results in marketable skills. If you’re really curious about liberal arts type stuff follow this plan in your free time:

• Find a course you’re interested in and obtain the reading list (and if possible lecture notes) then read on your own time whatever looks interesting
• Find blogs by experts in the field and read them
• Over time you’ll learn how to research a field and obtain the books you need.

But when it comes to university or an apprenticeship focus on real-world marketable skills and dedicate yourself to the pursuit of excellence. Not only will your competitive male instincts be harnessed but you’ll build your confidence in line with your competence. So consider what you are good at and what things tend to interest you (e.g. do you like sitting down for several hours single-mindedly solving technical problems, do you like tinkering and getting your hands dirty on machines, do you like glad-handing other people and running events?) then research careers. Don’t wait for it to come to you through a careers department – seek out more experienced men in those fields to advise you. Adult men take great satisfaction in mentoring bright young men, passing on their legacy. As a kid you might think “what do I have to offer this successful adult man?” and psych yourself out. Don’t. Skilled men take pleasure in exercising that skill just for its own sake. You’ll find some experts willing to mentor you.

Another foundational skill is cost control / downshifting. Matrix plug-ins buy into the frame that higher levels of consumption are the route to happiness and social acceptance. This leads their cost base to bloat with high fixed payments for a mortgage, car, cable tv add-ons, taxis home from the pub and so on. Due to the principle of hedonic adjustment you won’t actually experience any greater happiness from this bloated consumption but you will paralyse yourself financially. A man’s happiness requires freedom. Keep your cost base low and flexible. As a teenager you set these foundations mainly by disinvesting your ego from consumption and instead placing a high value on flexibility. Minimise your entanglements by remaining debt-free, do not get sucked into a web of collectivist obligations and counter-obligations from your family, girlfriends, mates or political groups. Late teenage is the time that collectivist parasites will try to suck you in to fight their battles and promise your resources to them. Resist it. The only person with your self-interest at heart is yourself. Do not allow yourself to be shamed for it. The world doesn’t owe you a living and you don’t owe the world. Ask not what your country can do for you. Just tell it to fuck off and mind it’s own business.

This is also the time to set yourself onto the low-tax low-reliance path. Consider your health, skills and personality to be your pension. As a kid it’s easy to take your health for granted but like a woman’s beauty, once it’s gone it’s gone forever. When racked with ill-health everything in life takes on an unpleasant tone so avoid it at all costs. This means get yourself to the gym. I’d recommend focusing your energies into a sport that you enjoy rather than gym-for-gym’s sake which few young men have sufficiently developed mental discipline to stick through. Play football, boxing or whatever it is you enjoy but make sure it’s manly, fun, and carries a low risk of catastrophic injury (i.e. where a bad move can ruin your life, e.g. a bad fall in skiing). This sport will greatly aid your social acceptance while building the health, confidence and responsibility for your own performance that will pay dividends the rest of your life. Be aware of diminishing returns so don’t aim for mastery, aim for “very competent”. Mastery is a timesink that will draw resources away from other equally vital projects.

None of the above needs to be rushed. Just choose the right start lines and set off in the right direction. Youth is impetuous while maturity is patient. Just keep doing the right things in the right balance knowing this is money in the bank as you approach the accumulation phase.

to be continued….