Rather a grandiose title but it is something of an intriguing question – how does a 37 year old office worker (rather than say 22 year old star athlete) continually get told by SMV-prime young women that he’s the best sex they ever had? I hear it from about 50% of them. Now some of this will be that I clack low-N girls who thus have a limited frame of reference. I’ll freely admit there’ll be men out there who do it better than me. Nonetheless, I’ll share my thoughts on why I repeatedly have this effect on girls.
- Rule #1 – Her perception of your value is more important than your technique
- Rule #2 – Domination is the biggest turn on
- Rule #3 – Please yourself above pleasing her
- Rule #4 – Have full control of your touch
Let’s run through these in turn.
Rule #1 – Her perception of your value is more important than your technique
A common misconception in the Blue Pill world is that you improve her estimation of your sexual ability by becoming better at bedroom gymnastics, whether this be through tantric weirdness, karma sutra positional knowledge, finding the g-spot, or a viagra-enhanced longevity. That’s all supplicating bullshit. Her estimation is overwhelmingly determined by how high value she thinks you are. Just think back to selected highlights of your own sex life. I’ll bet money that the top three memories are the top three hottest women no matter how they performed. Just as fat old hags are wasting their time learning better blowjob skills, qualifying spineless men are wasting their time reading techniques of sexual mastery. Improve your value, project it well, and hold the frame. In short, extend your Game to the bedroom.
Rule #2 – Domination is the biggest turn on
I haven’t talked much about 50 Shades of Grey on this blog due to my instinctual distaste to be letting my mind be led by popular trends. I’m the guy who doesn’t buy Black Ops 2 until six months after release. Nonetheless I have dipped into that book and can see why it’s a cause celebre. It’s served me as a jump off point with a few girls to turn conversations sexual and explore their limits. The key takeaway, of course, is dominance. Fix this before you move onto the lower-order technques. This means things like:
– Never ask permission. You’ll need calibration to learn when to move forwards and when to play it safe but even when the latter never actually ask permission, just don’t take that step forward until her mood is right. If you must ask it’s not “Can I…?” or “Shall we…?” it is “I want to….” and leave the question hanging in the air unasked. Growl into her ear “I’m going to (something explicit)” then slowly begin doing it. Her opportunity to say no is in the time delay of escalation. If she really wants to say no, you’ll hear it then.
– Only “Stop”, “No” and a deliberate physical disengagement count as non-consent. Girls will give you all kinds off soft refusals that are meant to be overridden. It’s just her forebrain-hindbrain conflict resolving itself outloud by giving herself plausible deniability. Often the refusal is part of her enjoyment in rubbing up against your manhood. So ignore “we shouldn’t do this” or “this is too fast” or “we should go back downstairs” etc. If her hands are still exploring and her crotch still grinding then proceed as planned. If that stuff stops you need to slow down and add a little comfort such as stroking her hair, kissing her forehead or looking into her eyes and giving a gentle smile. A firm no will come in a firm non-sexual tone of voice. A token no still rings with passion. You’ll know the difference. If in any doubt use the fire escape move – get up and go to the bathroom leaving her a clear line to the exit. If she hasn’t taken it within a minute or so, return as your were. A girl giving a firm no will quickly rearrange her clothes and remove herself from the area of sexual conquest. If she doesn’t do so take it as a green light.
– Always lead. You are a tsunami of sexual power sweeping her little fishing boat of innocence along an irresistable wave. She needs this to feel the thrill of submission. Make her feel the inevitability of eventual surrender because this’ll excite her far more than an explicit mutual consent. This isn’t a freely-entered sexual union of equals. No sir, you are ravishing her against her better judgement.
Rule #3 – Please yourself above pleasing her
I never go down on a girl. I don’t think I’ve done it in five years and I’m not about to start now. Surely I’m selfish. Surely girls will hold that against me when dispensing their own sexual favours……. no. Far be it for me to advise you against going down if you happen to enjoy doing so. I just find it unappealing and unbecoming of a man. I associate going down with supplication.
Women will often mid-ravishment blurt out words to the effect of “use me for your pleasure!” That’s the hindbrain talking. Women know they exist to satisfy the man in their lives be it ironing his shirts or swallowing his cum. Her hardwired state-of-nature survival strategy is to attach to a man and then make sure to keep him happy so he allows her to remain attached rather than casting her out into a world she is ill-equipped to navigate alone. Keep this in mind in your bedroom. She is there to satisfy you. Thanks to the wonder of nature her satisfying you will give her satisfaction and you don’t lose the frame.
Men who dedicate themselve to giving women orgasms, oral sex and longevity are just beta-boy sexual providers. It’s a sport fuck to her. Little different from going to the spa to have some maids pamper her with a different kind of facial. She’ll enjoy it, you’ll get sex, and the chemical reaction may even keep her around but you’ll have no domination. She’ll be her own woman, not your woman.
Fuck the girl like she’s a rag doll. Do whatever turns you on. Finish whenever you’re ready. When she asks for something don’t give it right away. When girls give me a sexual request e.g. “I want you behind me” I’ll look into her eyes, smirk, and say “I know”. Maybe I’ll do it later, maybe I won’t. If she gets a little insistent grab her rougher and as you look into her eyes give her a really hard thrust. That’s a way of saying shut up that she appreciates.
Come wherever you want to. If she’s dodging having it on her face then go for the breasts, making sure an accidental spurt gets some of her face. If she’ll take it on the face try and get a little bit in her eye or up her nose. Unapologetically.
The one big caveat in all this is – let her know you are enjoying her. Breath heavy into her ear, give some low growls of satisfaction, smirk, give the occasional flattering compliment (“I love fucking you”). The woman needs to know you appreciate her offering herself up for a ravishing. She wants to fantasise herself being used, not to actually be used. So mix a little velvet in with the steel.
Rule #4 – Have full control of your touch
A strange observation in my life has been that Brazilian Ju Jitsu has offered me far greater profit in the bedroom than it ever has on the street. I spent a couple of years rolling around on the mats in my angry white pyjamas slapping on armbars and triangle chokes, learning a half-guard game and all sorts of other such stuff. Yet I haven’t had a streetfight in ten years. It’s an entirely different blogpost why this is (basically, hard targetting and good control of my monkey brain) but one of the ironies of MMA is you take a far greater accummulated punishment in self defense training than you ever would if you were just a fag hipster who accepted his periodic street beatings.
But when it comes to sex, nothing beats a solid MMA background.
Part of it comes into 1) because MMA raises your physical confidence. Partly it’s 2) because you’ve already learned dominance over other men and she can feel your strength. Most of all you are bringing physical competence into the bedroom. MMA gives you exceptional hand-eye coordination, balance, control of your weight distribution and the ability to efficiently move another person’s body around. Here’s a few of the techniques I employ:
– Grip: Women love to be held firm, crushed in a man’s arms but they recoil from actual physical pain. Consider how to grab a woman’s wrist when you want to pin her hand to the mattress, do you use your fingers or palm? I grip her the same way I’d grip a man when applying a kimura or chicken wing. Study the diagrams. Often when on top I’ll hook my arm around her neck and pull her close but I’ll use the same grip as a rear-naked choke (but reversed).
– Pins: BJJ teaches you to hold people down. Women love being pinned to the mattress unable to move, its why they like being tied up. So remember her four points (two shoulders, two hips) are more solid pins than her wrists and ankles. I often press my forearm onto the front of her shoulder and grab a handful of hair at the base of her skull (same hand). This pins her upper torso, immobilises the head and she fucking loves it. Sometimes I press down on one side of the hip as if to begin a guard pass. All of this can be done without any pain to her. She feels roughed up and steamrolled but no acute pain. This is the physical expression of steel and velvet.
– Weight: MMA fighters hear common refrains such as how when on top you should seek to be as heavy as possible and close down space (bottom game is the reverse – don’t be flatbacked, get the weight off you, and create some distance). During sex you should be in full control of your weight at all times. Mix it up. When your tempo is hard and fast, crush her with your superior size. When you ease off, rise back and take off the pressure. Like riding a horse you have to listen to the feedback to know how hard you can push her. Ease up occassionaly so she doesn’t faint.
– Control: Put her body where you want it. When you’re standing, walk her backwards into a wall and push her against it. When you want to put her on the bed, pick her up and throw her there. When she’s lying on her back naked and you’re about to stick it in DO NOT go to her. Hook a hand under each thigh and pull her to you in one alarming motion. When you’ve finished slamming her missionary style, shrug her leg over a shoulder and turn her over. She should feel her body completely under your control at all times. This turns her on. If she rises up put your hand on her sternum and push her back down. Put your palm over her ear/temple area and push her face into the mattress (side-on, so as not to interfere with her breathing) and keep it there.
Lastly, I’ll finish with a few little power moves I like to do:
1. This can be done pre-sex or while standing up during sex. Grab her neck like a one-handed rapist choke (remember the grip! powerful but not painful, don’t actually squeeze) and straight-arm her back into a wall. Look powerfully into her eyes and, still pinning her to the wall, reach down with your other hand to pick up your whiskey glass and take a measured drink. Put the glass down, turn back towards her, and violently kiss.
2. In a standing hug / smooch do a few tender touches like running your fingertips through her hair at your temple, kissing the forehead. Then abruptly hoist her up in a fireman’s carry and do a slow helicopter spin. Deposit her on a nearby sofa or bed.
3. During a rough-hard tempo of the sex when she’s gasping and moaning take a handful of hair at the base of her skull and yank it so her face is looking up at yours. Do some variation of the following – pausing for her responses:
Look at me (hold dominant eye contact) Look at me. (slowly pull your cock almost completely out and leave it out for a few seconds, continuing to look at her. She’ll usually give an imploring look. In your own time, slam her really hard with one long thrust that moves her whole body halfway up the bed. Treat it like a punishment. Rinse and repeat a few times).
Look at me. You like my cock in you, don’t you. You like it hard and deep. You like it sliding in and out. Moving your body with my power. You like feeling my strength don’t you etc
Look at me, woman. Whose woman are you? You’re my woman, aren’t you. Say it. Say you’re my woman. (replace “woman” with “dirty bitch” if appropriate). Yes, you’re my woman. Your job is to please me. And when you please me, I reward you with my cock.
Once sex is finished always give her comfort. Lie on your back like a king and pull her into you until she’s nuzzling against your chest. Stay like that for ten minutes, absent-mindedly stroking her hair and softly running your fingers along her arms. This is where you get the double-whammy of oxytocin-bonding and a balance of soft dominance to offset the hard dominance of the rough sex.
That ought to give you dear readers a flavour of it.
December 24, 2012 at 6:13 pm
Lucky we are, receiving such quality content for free.Gratitude. (See Spartacus)
“Sex God” by Rose is a fine resource that you may or may not have read – recommended.
Concur on the eating her out front. I have been fighting this for a few years because I genuinely don’t enjoy it and it makes me feel like a girl’s pleasure slave for 10 minutes, supplicant, stubble burn on my face etc, in fact it turns me off. So I just don’t do it anymore.
The last time I gave tongue was to a slavic 9 I badboy dominated into bed a few months ago and she proceeded to dump my ass fairly quickly thereafter. The change of frame into worrying about her pleasure will hardly have helped.
Still cringe when I picture the mental image of me at the foot of the bed leaning over uncomfortably fro 10 minutes with no payoff – not even Casanova would have made that uptight bitch orgasm.
I have admittedly brushed up on my fingering technique to deploy as required, but my tongue wont be going south of the navel anymore.
December 24, 2012 at 7:19 pm
My problem is that I like giving oral. I was with a Japanese girl who tasted delicious and I’ve been chasing the dragon ever since.
December 25, 2012 at 7:11 am
Your problem is that you consider another man’s opinion superior to your own likes and dislikes.
August 11, 2014 at 10:04 pm
I am female. Generally I dot actually enjoy it. Not saying it’s not good, but it actually takes AWAY my control, rather than giving it.
I can play both roles, depending on whom I’m with, but if I’m getting dominated (which, let’s face it, as a female, it’s absolutely preferred. The safety it gives you after, is amazing, and bonds me to the person I’m with), you don’t have to eat me out, simply licking my clit, and waiting in between each lick, will drive me insane. I’ll squirm, and beg. An the best part of it, if you tease me like that for a bit, and then never actually going any further, I will be so sensitive, you smack me, or finally give yours to me, I am yours, so much more.
December 24, 2012 at 7:22 pm
great stuff, nick. i tweeted a bunch of the lines i really liked. this essay along with d&p’s essay makes a great intro to rough sex and how to really please a girl.
oh yeah, two questions:
1. what are your favorite positions. i wrote about this last year, or two years ago. i really liked this modified doggy position (see drawing): http://rivsdiary.wordpress.com/2012/09/09/yohami-on-how-to-fuck/ but now i like this other modified doggy even better, the one that danny mentioned, doggy with one hand holding her hair at the base of the skull, and jerking her head backwards with every thrust. blondie goes crazy when i do that.
2. have you used your belt during sex? i can see it really adding that extra edge, but haven’t tried it yet. it just occurred to me. i can see myself whipping her ass with the belt (not too hard, obviously), and i think FFY talked about choking her with it? that seems dangerous.
anyway, thanks for this essay. i can see an illustrated book coming out of this essay. big $$$$.
December 24, 2012 at 8:28 pm
Personally I like that position you linked, but with the girl’s but forced down more to the bed/ground.
Big $$$ and I think you’ll have to find a hottie willing to demonstrate the positions with/for you…fun side effect of the project.
@Krauser I definitely don’t agree w/ you on never going down on a girl but I do see a lot of validity in the approach you defined as far as getting the girl to want to be used as an implement for your pleasure.
December 25, 2012 at 4:31 am
I tell girls that my going down on them is for my pleasure, not their’s.
December 24, 2012 at 9:33 pm
Going down…like most things about chicks
…is context dependent. ive grown to enjoy it. But ive only done it w serious girlfriends…and incidentally it was after several months of no muff diving. The point here, that it isnt necessary is true…i never heard a complaint. But as far as i could tell they enjoyed it when i eventually did. my 2.cents…do it from behind. Shes in a more submissive position, rather than looking down on you from above…and keep it brief, like you just cant help but get a taste before the main act. Like u want to posess her completely. Then dominate her completely thereafter. Context…context.
December 24, 2012 at 9:53 pm
Where’s the love for reverse 69 (guy on top)?
December 24, 2012 at 10:40 pm
Summarized by: do whatever you want in the bedroom. [Not really, but that’s a big part of it. K.]
Also: most girls like being choked. Maybe all of them. I started doing it a couple years back and none have been against it. Some enjoyed it more than others, but they pretty much all like the quasi-rape sex.
I agree with the post coitus letting them lay next to you if that’s their thing while you catch your breath and play with their hair.
December 24, 2012 at 11:15 pm
Great post, I really like your take on all of this. One minor quibble, though: the tantric stuff is for YOUR pleasure, as a man, not hers. I can see how it could come from a place of supplication, but it can also develop from a totally masculine frame of “I’m going to maximize my sexual experience, and you can come along for the ride.”
The Taoist sexual yoga, especially, has many techniques for generating more sexual energy between two partners, which a male (both parties, really), experiences as sexual pleasure. The Taoists figured out how to separate ejaculation from orgasm. There is nothing like having a mind-blowing orgasm, feeling like the top of your head is going to pop off like a rocket from the energy, and then keep on going until you decide to stop. It’s the ultimate in control, and women swoon over it.
If you go deep into the Taoist tradition, you can find information about how men can “fortify their essence” by “borrowing” or “harvesting” the woman’s energy or “chi.” She receives some of your energy in this scenario, but not nearly as much as if you don’t ejaculate into her. In my experience, women are made to give energy, either to you, or to a baby growing in her belly, or both. Women seem to have the most intense orgasms when it feels as though I’m “drinking” from her. (This is not necessarily cunnilingus, but it can happen then too.) Sometimes it feels as though I’m receiving some sort of vital energy from her mouth, with either my mouth or my penis.
In my view, the Taoist sexual arts are essential for Charismatic gentlemen. Why? The Taoist sages conceptualized sexuality as a battle long before the manosphere came around. When you ejaculate into a woman, she gets a lot of your energy, that would evolutionarily be used to make a baby. That’s her “winning” the battle. She keeps that energy regardless of whether there’s a conception or not. You get comparatively little of hers, and your dick gets soft but most of the time, she could keep going. By learning the Taoist bedroom arts, you get to reverse the equation. It is *exactly* like MMA for the bedchamber. Thus, Mr. Krauser, your analogy may be more apt than you had intended. It’s a skill set much like the charismatic arts, and these two skill sets mutually compliment each other.
December 24, 2012 at 11:43 pm
“I associate going down with supplication.”
Rubbish. I eat fish taco for sport.
January 4, 2013 at 12:53 am
Not so fast. If eating pussy is a form of supplication,what about us guys who LIKE supplication? i guess I am a beta,but I love eating pussy,kissing he feet etc. one of my fantasies is to have a feminst–beautiful & sexy in a short skirt,with black pantyhose,of course–kick,slap or squeeze my balls,demanding taht I pleasure her! [You are reading the wrong blog. Try this guy: http://jezebel.com/5881335/why-do-men-love-barely-legal-porn K.]
January 8, 2013 at 7:32 pm
Of course I said a “beautiful” feminist. None on THAT site.
December 25, 2012 at 1:48 am
Great post as usual. I should wish you a Merry Christmas and thank you for this blog. Because of this I banged 11 women, 10 were hot, one was a 5 but gave the best-ever erotic blow job and was 23 and read me passages of 50 Shades of Gray over the phone as a bed time story, so that gets a kind of asterisk.
Point here is by adopting a more dominant and confident inner game, i was able to project that externally. After banging more hot women, a lot of my nervousness and frenetic energy disappeared and i became more confident and grounded.
All your experiences here worked very well in Asia. Women here however are interesting, it’s often difficult to guess their age, so in some cases I banged vixens hard who i would have thought were 28 29 but turned out to be 39. Either way it’s outcomes not output that matters.
Hair pulling. I started incorporating this as part of the 2012 offering. This must spark some internal trigger. I do this sometimes while dancing as well. It’s like a dog whistle—that same reaction, eyes widen and they perk up.
December 25, 2012 at 4:22 am
Great post Krauser.
You’ve rekindled my interest in learning MMA. If my future instructor asks why I want learn MMA I’m gonna tell him so I can get really good at sex. hah
December 25, 2012 at 10:08 am
I concur with all you wrote, Krauser.
One specific move I’ve been using to great effect: Kneel on the bed with the girl lying flat on her back. Hold her neck down with one hand, and use your other hand to finger her powerfully. This has resulted in some of the wettest pussies I’ve ever seen. [Great minds think alike. I do this too. I often kneel at the side and stick my cock in her mouth while I do it. K.]
January 2, 2013 at 3:33 pm
You fuckers! You’ve been holding out on us… fill us in on more of these badboy dominant positions.
December 25, 2012 at 2:21 pm
This was the most epic post i’v ever read on the topic. So much solid points. I will be putting your advise to good use in future.
December 25, 2012 at 3:48 pm
Good stuff and Merry Christmas to all and sundry,
I shall have to try out one or two ideas from that in a couple of hours time. Don’t forget to squeeze nipples and pull their hair just as they are about to come. Nothing better then feeling a girl coming hard underneath you as you are.
For some great insights google nina hartley pussy eating videos. Easy to find and that woman knows how to fuck a young a girl. Bless her. You dont have to do the eating but the fingering techniques are supreme. I mad a chick come at the beach once with the gripping technique. Its powerful stuff.
ABC (Always Be Cadding)
December 26, 2012 at 4:59 am
Hear, hear. Some elevated dialogue; we’re finally evolving to the next stage where we can actually take things back and begin to right the ship through nothing more than biologically proper living. A “god” speaks and executes his reality into existence. Common feedback: “You’ve definitely raised the bar for me . . . ,” accompanied by awestruck unbelieving puppy dog eyes. Could go further, but don’t want to anchor searchable phrases into the for-profit blood-sucking search engines.
To derive your own oral manifestation commands, perform a brutally honest survey of your true manly desires . . . and then determine how they can be expressed in a straight forward honest (non-manipulative) manner.
Understand that your desires (so long as they are respectful in the wider view of male/female dynamics, require no apology . . . and that in fact, an apologetic approach will get you castrated.)
Merry Christmas to Krauser and to all the men striving for a more fulfilling reality of what it means to live bathed in testosterone . . . a force as natural as solar radiation. [I like that last phrase. K]
December 26, 2012 at 5:43 am
So the answer to “do you like it rough” is always “yes.”
December 26, 2012 at 9:10 am
Another great post by Krauser! This one is one of the 3 PU blogs I’m still reading 🙂
December 26, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Yes – to all – especially the mindset of doing whatever you do to please yourself.
Hair pulling is so highly underrated. I use it as early as possible for kino/escalation – great way to “claim” a woman very early in the interaction – if she’s fine with you messing with her hair, you’re good – and if not – easy eject.
December 26, 2012 at 8:04 pm
What about owning the breasts? Squeezing, pinching…
December 27, 2012 at 1:28 pm
Krauser you write: “I spent a couple of years rolling around on the mats…Yet I haven’t had a streetfight in ten years. It’s an entirely different blogpost why this is (basically, hard targetting and good control of my monkey brain”
This would be an interesting post: What do you mean by “hard targetting and good control of my monkey brain.”
I’m presuming you don’t get into streetfights because you are not getting “status challenges”? [Yes. And I don’t go looking for trouble, and I spot it in its early stages to avoid it. K.]
I’ve been interested for some time in Men who DO NOT get “status challenges” – in other words where other men basically act “nice and conciliatory” – I recently saw the ethnologist Wilkinson speak and he said:
“Social status is basically the group recognition of the Alpha monkey’s superior Strength and access to Material Resources (read: Wealth in humans). So the other primates act nice and concilatory in recognition.”
I do not get into streetfights at my age: but am getting a surprising number of “status challenges” recently – what you would call aggressive body language from certain other men and passive aggressive sniping.
Another PUA has said “People only act out emotionally to you when you are either
1. Higher value than them (read: girls who are sexually interested in you)
2. A threat to their Value (other men)
December 29, 2012 at 7:15 pm
I aint giving up eating pussy. to borrow from patton,”god help me,I love it so!”
March 22, 2017 at 11:08 am
if you like it then thats all that matters bro
January 6, 2013 at 12:14 pm
That was a good article, cheers.
Could you share some of your ideas on foreplay with us? I find I always get stuck into a boring routine of kissing lips, tits, fingering and then starting to fuck. I could do with some ideas to make my foreplay more fun/interesting/exciting/varied.
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February 26, 2013 at 2:32 pm
Love Rule #2!
March 10, 2013 at 11:17 am
Good stuff dude. I generally dont like PU blogs, but this is quality advice.
And yeah, cumming them in the face is obligatory 😀
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May 21, 2013 at 6:29 pm
I remember reading some shit about Tantra. All this stuff about joining the woman’s mind with your own and forgetting you had a penis. This was before I knew of red-pill, but even back then when I couldn’t articulate what was off, I knew that shit was feminized jibberish.
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July 31, 2014 at 9:40 pm
After hot boyfriend read this he immediately improved in bed it’s so much exciting to know that he’ll be controlling me and havering power ( fuck me soon jonny)
August 15, 2015 at 9:59 am
You wrote this in 2012, would you say this still applies? Never satisfying her needs and such, i myself haven’t had much success in the bedroom but if you wanted to keep her round wouldn’t this be all counter-intuitive?
cheers [Everything in game is counter-intuitive. K.]
October 26, 2015 at 2:33 pm
This post is amazing, humanity needs more of this and less of the hippy garbage that is posted on conventional threads. I’m down to burn the patchouli and talk about the age of aquarius but I’d rather go and bang hot, young girls.. with #4 I’d say the biggest part about really giving your lover a fat orgasm the first night is having the time for near “animalistic” sex. All women love cock and think about it constantly. (mindset to give her EVERYTHING) I had the hardest time with that, But she needs you to give it to her and at first I could maybe last 2 minutes. But articles like this one, and sites like this: http://goo.gl/Iv8sjQ and books like by authors of ross aken, ian kerner and dr. speigel also helped my legendary schlong be known by all the soccer moms. btw, still have yet to cum on a chick’s face. Gotta sexlist that for next time.
May 9, 2016 at 5:20 am
Can you make of diagrams of your power moves? Especially the MMA ones! I cannot visualize them. Please?!!!
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