Here’s another podcast, this time where Eddie and I discuss a type of girl frequently encountered in daygame.
Here’s another podcast, this time where Eddie and I discuss a type of girl frequently encountered in daygame.
Nervous breakdowns are pretty unpleasant things to be in, but like most things in life they carry lots of benefits. I remember once when Colin was giving a talk to all the freaks of the London Seduction Society he said “This is a hard road and it’ll take at least two years to get good. The only people I know who got good quicker went through unbelievable mental pain.”
He’s right. There’s a fairly predictable path of pain in game because ultimately we are talking about a complete overhaul of your behaviours, beliefs and identity.
Cautious hope -> Optimism -> Hubris -> Vague Unease -> Crash -> Recovery
As ever I’m talking mostly about my own experience but I’ve seen this pattern among all the top guys on their way up. And seeing as few of them ever settle at a given plateau (we’re all strivers) then really this is a recurring cycle. When you take your first step in game you are unwittingly commiting yourself to a complete overhaul. You will eventually become the cool charismatic guy. Unfortunately there’s a major obstacle standing in your way:
Your ego is a fixing agent, as I’ve written about before. It’s the force that prevents you being tossed around like a leaf in a gale. It’s what gets your hackles up when someone’s trying to clown you and take what’s yours. Your ego is the force that says “I’m just fine like I am, thank you very much, and I’m not changing.”
Therein lies the rub for the aspiring player who wants to transform himself from Me v1.0 into Me v2.0. The ego will resist him every step of the way. Much of the “taking action” side of the player’s journey is about harnessing your forebrain’s reserves of mental discipline in order to achieve your forebrain’s goal of getting better with women. All of the negative emotions you feel (principally the approach anxiety and the avoidance weasels) are your hindbrain’s attempt to harness your reserves of emotion in order to thwart your forebrain and to instead achieve the hindbrain’s goal of staying exactly where you are.
So every aspiring player is being double-teamed by his ego and hindbrain. That’s where all the cognitive dissonance and badfeelz comes from. It’s tough. It’s also why most successful players have developed masterful emotional control and forebrain discipline.
Normal men might scoff when you say daygame is difficult. “Dude, all you’re doing is talking to women. It’s not like being in a WWI trench.” They don’t get that the conflict is fully internal and your brain is essentially in a state of perpetual Syria-like civil war. It’s about way more than knobbing some sloppy tarts – you are fighting for your destiny of what kind of person you wish to be. This is why every aspiring player has – and needs – periodic meltdowns. They occur when both sides of your brain have exhausted themselves fighting the daily war of attrition. There’s the last final battle and then like a cataclysmic shock both sides collapse. Both sides wave the white flag and you crash.
It’s awful when it happens. Sometimes it’s the death of hope. Other times it triggers hours of existential angst as you go through a long dark night of the soul. You have to remind yourself that your current emotion is not “you”, it’s just a phase. Your life is still exactly the same as it was two days ago, two weeks ago, two months ago.
Remind yourself this is a necessary creative destruction because your meltdown results in a rare opportunity: Your ego has died. It’ll respawn soon but for a precious few days the hindbrain is compliant. All those beliefs and reference experiences that you’ve tried to embed into your hindbrain so that you can feel (not merely intellectually recognise) the player mindset – the hindbrain absorbs them.
Every time I’ve had a meltdown, I’ve emerged stronger and closer to the man I wish to be. The calibre of my game always stepped up a level and I felt like my inner game house had been upgraded from hay to wood, then wood to brick and so on. Ultimately, your subconscious is looking out for your best interests. It lets you feel the optimism and hubris so you can go out and accumulate reference experiences, then it lets your hindbrain fight a weasel-based counterattack so you feel unease, and then it throws you both off a cliff and triggers the meltdown.
If you’re a normal guy who wants a normal life, nervous breakdowns are to be avoided. However, if you’re a normal guy who wants to become a player, you have to embrace them when they come. They are not a sign of failure – though they’ll definitely feel that way when they happen. Just remember you are not your emotions and this is the necessary bankruptcy in order to free up the capital to be redeployed into a more efficient enterprise. Your ability to embrace, ride out and then recover from meltdowns is a strong meta-level predictor of how good you’ll get at game.
Brad is sitting on a plush leather sofa in his flashy bachelor pad in the hippest part of town. His eyelids droop as he pours himself a slug of 20-year Scottish whiskey that cost £100 for the bottle. It’s worth it. Damn fine whiskey. He swills the brown liquid around the glass, revelling in the crackle and pop coming from the ice cubes.
Ah, this is the life!
He’s tired because he just finished another tough ten hour day at the law firm. He’s put in a solid four years at Saul White & Pinkman Associates. That’s on top of the three years at his training firm. Brad just hit 32 so he’s in the prime of his life. He’ll still make it to the gym tomorrow morning. He’ll still measure out all his supplements and weigh his food. A shot of whiskey won’t put a dent in his rock hard body. He’s been training five years now and looks great. Not quite a six pack but he’s pretty buff. Brad prides himself on his mental discipline and ability to carry through on a personal commitment to his lifeplan.
As he’s reading through the internet, he’s nodding his head. Satisfied. He’s reading City Alpha Lifestyle blog and there’s an article: 5 Reasons You Ain’t Alpha. He chuckles as he realises the first four reasons don’t apply to him. He’s buff. He’s got money. He’s dominant in his social circle. He’s wearing good clothes.
Unfortunately it’s that last reason that does apply and it bothers him: He hasn’t fucked many hot women.
Well, how could he? He’s been working sixty hour weeks most of the last ten years. When the weekend finally rolls round he’s just going to cool bars with his buddies. The career chicks who go there aren’t much to look at (or talk to). Most of his spare time is in the gym, or reading motivational material. There’s not really any time or opportunity to meet girls. The only hot girls he sees are walking down the street or sitting having coffee – and how’s he supposed to talk to them? I mean, what do you say?
It’s not so bad though. He hasn’t been truly single for more than a few months in all these years. He always seems to find his way into a relationship – at a party, at dance class, at a business trip – and the girls are quite pretty. He’s even had a few adventurous one-night stands. Indeed he’s fucked maybe twenty girls, more than double most of his friends. It’s just a shame they nearly all insist on fancy restaurants, making him wait, and then those interminable weekends in the parks, beaches and Ikea.
“No worries”, Brad thinks smugly. “I’m entering the prime of my life – Rollo told me so – so at some undefined point in the future the hotties will flock to me.”
Adam is also sitting on a sofa tonight but it’s worn and squeaky. His small loft conversion is in a grungier part of town but that’s where the best nightlife is, so it’s exactly where he wants to be. His eyelids droop as he pours himself a slug of Jack Daniels that cost £25 for the bottle. It’s nice. He sets the glass down and lights a joint, rolling the smoke around his mouth before inhaling it to his lungs.
Ah, this is the life!
He’s tired because he just woke up. He works nights mostly and sometimes early mornings, depending on the shifts at the bar-tending job and the warehouse job he juggles to meet rent. He’s 32 and has lived in the area most of the last ten years. So he knows everyone and has a bit of a rep as one of the cooler local guys. It’s a late shift tomorrow so he’ll be working on his music all afternoon. He started learning guitar as a teenager and after fifteen years cycling in and out of various punk, indie and now rock bands he’s pretty good at it. His tattoos are still pretty cool and it doesn’t matter much that his body is turning to skinny-fat at a young age.
He’s also reading through the internet, nodding his head in satisfaction. He’s reading Dangerous Horizons blog and there’s an article he likes: 5 Reasons You’re Not Cool. He chuckles as he realises the first four reasons don’t apply to him. He’s badass. He’s got a big social circle. He doesn’t answer to anyone (except his bosses, but those jobs aren’t so important to him). He is the life of the party. Unfortunately it’s that last reason that does apply and it bothers him. He stares at it again and again, trying to figure out why:
You don’t get to date and fuck the girls you like.
Hmmmmmm. What’s wrong with that statement? Adam does a mental check. “I’ve fucked 160 girls” he counts, but then he adds “but most of them were pretty grotty.” Then his eyes light up. “That said, Talisa was hot. And Sophie. And Angela” and there’s a faint murmur in his heart as he recalls some nights of fantastic sex. The lights fade when he thinks “but they just chose me and I took what I was given. I wish that would happen more.”
“And Talisa was a fucked-up BPD loon” he remembers, and shudders.
He’s done well though, he reminds himself. Much much better than most people. Okay, so he’s completely sacrificed any chance of making money and living comfortably in his middle age. Okay, so he’s never going to be truly famous and be an alpha like Leonardo DiCaprio or Keith Richards – guys who truly do date and fuck whoever they like. And his tattooed bartender schtick will be decreasingly cool as he ages and all those nights maintaining the hip social circle will start to wear on him. But he’s had lots of fun and there’s still lots more fun to be had.
Brad and Adam are pretty happy with their lives. Years ago they plotted an “in” to women and then dedicated themselves tirelessly to it. Adding it all up, one way or another it’s been nigh on seventy hours a week each, for fifteen years. But that’s fine, because the “lifestyle” is paying off.
Simultaneously, ten miles apart, they both set down their whiskey glasses and stumble across the same article on a little-known site called krauserpua.com. They have the same instinctive reaction deep in their gut best described as “have I missed a trick?”. That gnawing fear recedes as they realise their own lives are still pretty damn good. Nonetheless they can’t help shake the feeling that if only they knew how to cold approach they’d quickly resolve that one nagging issue from the list of five.
Fortunately that entire emotional cycle takes about ten seconds and never really penetrates their consciousness. Simultaneously, ten miles apart, comes a booming clang and the heavy doors of two grandiose egos slam down the shutters together. And then a new reaction springs forth.
“Fuck me, have you seen this clown???? Hardly any money, normal body, no “lifestyle” at all. And he’s running up and down the street chasing girls like some creepy PUA. What a fucking idiot! Hahaha can’t he see what low value behaviour that is: dedicating ten hours a week, for five years, to enjoying nice conversations, dates and sex with beautiful women.
Ooooooooooo-kay, so he reckons in 2015 the average age of girl is 21 (19 years younger than him) and the average meet-to-lay is two hours. And yes, they are mostly good girls and all pretty. And yes, he gets to travel all around the world and sleep as much as he likes. And yes, he’s always choosing the girls he likes.
But, but but…… it’s so inefficient!
What a loser! Dedicating all that time and effort trying to get laid.”
Brad and Adam decide they will type in a comment to tell him precisely how much of a loser he is. And then they’ll retire to bed and ponder how awesome their lifestyle is.
Many people have said my products are too detailed, too advanced, too complicated, too…… deep.
Fair enough. When I read, I like extremely dense books and when I play video games I like those with many hidden layers of gameplay depth. I’m a systems-builder by heart so every time I learn something new I want to pull the watch apart, examine every mechanical piece, and then learn how to reassemble it into perfect working order. That’s my mindset in life. I’m a perfectionist and a craftsman. I take real joy in the minutae.
Of course not everyone is like that. Some guys want to get to the point really fast. “Just give me the TL:DR, Nick”
This was recently brought to light when I gave Bodi an advance copy of the Black Book, my new video product. He knows daygame inside out and we share many personality traits so I thought he’d give me a good second opinion. “It’s very different to Mastery and Overkill” he said, a couple of days later. “When I watched Overkill I was pausing it every twenty seconds to jot down a new note. It’s so dense. Black Book if far easier to absorb. It’s more concise.”
And that’s the whole point of the video. I’ve already put out products which are reference encyclopedias of daygame (Daygame Mastery) and incredibly detailed deconstructions of my best sets (Daygame Overkill). That’s the “high end” of daygame theory staked out with the Team Krauser flag. The problem is it’s really difficult to absorb and you only get the full value of the material if you’re already banging plenty of girls from street game.
But what if you’re still pretty new? What if you’ve gotten the basics down pat and are pulling phone numbers and some dates but you want to get better? That’s where Black Book comes in.
Black Book is a long detailed seminar designed to bump guys up from beginner to intermediate daygame. How do I achieve this?
The big knock against beginner daygame is that it’s robotic, repetitive and often unconvincing. You run around stopping girls and dropping a series of lines onto them, in a structure designed to pull phone numbers out of girls who take a liking to you over those five minutes. It works and you can get laid off it. I did. The problem is that these are just training wheels. Eventually you become comfortable with the basics of managing approach anxiety, running up to girls, getting the body language about right, and having reasonably interesting words tumble out of your mouth.
Great, you’ve gotten started! For the first few hundred sets that’s all you need. Take your baby steps and learn to walk. We made it simple because beginners are so anxious that they can’t hold more than a few tips in mind at once and we need to just shuttle them end-to-end through a few hundred street stops. But now it’s time to start getting laid.
Black Book takes you back through the London Daygame Model but this time it’s at the intermediate level. What does that mean?
That’s the first half of the seminar. Now that you’re getting better at game you’ll be getting girls on dates so the second half takes you through the first date game, designed to get the girl home that night. What am I giving you in this section?
Black Book is designed to take the handcuffs off you. No longer will you be shackled to the latest opener you read on the internet, or a little routine your wing told you. Black Book focuses on simple principles and hands you the tools to build your own game from them. This is the simplest and most concise way to understand the principles that will give you deep identity-level change in your daygame. It’s time to get creative. It’s time to get sexual. It’s time to have fun!
See below for what you’ll gain access to. This is a screenshot of the portal after you’ve logged in to your Black Book account.
I’ve put up a new 45-minute podcast covering the mindsets, opportunities, and specific step-by-step advice so that you can be the first guy to introduce your favourite girls to “greek culture”.
Back in December 2014 I got a call from a production company working for the BBC. They were making a reality TV show about a young man trying a bunch of different activities to make him more masculine. Picking up girls would be part of it and one episode entirely about daygame. Did I want to be his daygame coach?
No thank you. Why would I want to be on TV? I’m not a woman, nor a faggot.
They kept on at me and finally we agreed terms. They’d pay for me to come down to London, put me up in a hotel for the weekend, book a room, set up the cameras and lighting. My job was to get six students of the right demographic, do a presentation, then take their guy infield for a few hours. Seemed easy enough. Knowing that I was dealing with a TV production company, I thought it almost certain they’d be:
So I got their producer on Skype and recorded her promising I could bring my own cameraman and release my own footage in the event I thought their edit was a hatchet job. I asked if she minded if I release the seminar footage recorded by my own cameraman myself. “So long as it’s after we broadcast, no problem, but we can’t give you the footage from our camera.” Win-win. They get their show and I get a product.
Those of you who’ve read Aesop’s fable about the frog and the scorpion will guess what happened next. Being clowns-SJW-dishonest they just couldn’t helping fucking with the whole thing. First of all they demanded the seminar be shot on Friday – when everyone has work or uni. Then all the students had to be aged 18-25 and new to daygame. I explained how my readers are older and most people don’t hear about me until they’ve already been doing sets.
Then they required everyone agree to be interviewed on TV. I explained how the community is mostly anonymous so they agreed this wasn’t important…. and then went back on it immediately, contacting my students and bullying them to agree.
Having explicitly agreed I had full control of the seminar and content (“we just want to be flies on the wall, seeing the event like it normally is”) they soon started acting like it was their seminar, telling me what I was and wasn’t allowed to do. I soon corrected them on that, sending this email:
I’m happy to do the date bit after you leave, but it has to be a reasonable time. Remember I’m coming down from Newcastle to do a special one-off seminar for you that I had to organise in a hurry, with narrow specifications on the attendees, on a difficult day, and I’m not getting paid beyond minimum expenses. So, I’m insistent that I get to do it my way, within reason. Remember I’m not on your payroll and I answer only to myself.
Finally it got to the point that I was ready to bin them. Two days before the event I was finally sent my train ticket. Just before boarding the train the day before I was given my hotel reservation, and by the evening before they still hadn’t told me the venue. There’s a reason these people are interning in media production companies for peanuts rather than earning mad stacks in the finance industry, after all.
Back in December they told me their “researchers” liked my material and blog. I sent the producer a free login to Daygame Overkill in January. It seems those crack researchers didn’t discover my twitter until the night before the event. I got a pompous faggot (“head producer” or something) call me late on while I was in the pub with Bojangles and Ramy.
Faggot: Am I speaking to Nick Krauser?
Faggot: I am to understand we are supposed to be filming with you tomorrow.
Faggot: Well, we are cancelling you.
Faggot: [expectant pause while I don’t ask why] We read your Twitter.
Faggot: [longer pause while I don’t complain or explain] We don’t want to be associated with people like you.
Faggot: [longer pause again] Yes. So. We’re cancelling you.
Faggot: And we are going to cancel your hotel too [it was about 9pm on a cold February evening]
Me: Good luck
So I had a mad scramble to find a venue on less than a day’s notice, inform all the students, and set up my cameraman. The hotel told the BBC to piss off because I’d already checked in. I advised all the students not to tell the BBC the event was still going head because you know how SJWs are with bomb threats. These people were trying to make me homeless on the evening in a very cold winter’s night after inviting me down to their town. Hardly honourable people.
Late morning on the Friday we all met up outside the venue, ordered some beers, and went up to the pub function room for the seminar on Intermediate Daygame. And thus the Black Book was filmed. Dicking around with the production company clowns was a pain, but I’d written the seminar and prepared the slides assuming I was going to do a proper presentation.
Black Book is a 223-minute seminar advising guys who are already comfortable with beginner daygame on how to make the jump to intermediate.
Prepare yourself for some rambling.
This year has been all about experimentation. I’d grown tired of the Daygame Overkill model because though it had brought me great success shifting to that style (indeed, it is now the core LDM style as witnessed by all the shameless YouTube rip-offs) I was getting bored. I was doing the same thing over and over again. I get bored easily. I knew there’d be another step forwards, I just didn’t know what it was. In such cases I follow my subconcious and let the logical forebrain figure out the details later. My subconscious was telling me this:
So when the Euro season rolled around in mid-March 2015 that’s what I did. It’s been a slapdash affair with epic highs and incompetent lows. For the first time ever I’ve had more near-misses than lays (about 2:1 ratio). I’ve pushed my 2015 average age of girl down to 21, the quality has crept up very slightly, and my average meet-to-sex time is two hours.
High risk, high reward.
I’m not satisfied to simply shift my risk/reward meter further along. I want to get better. I want to bring the uncontrollable under my control. So I’ve kept plugging away, stoically absorbing the near-miss pain, and continued to look for patterns. It’s still all a bit foggy but I think the new model is taking shape. It’s a long way off, but I’m starting to grasp it. Here are some of my early thoughts on the differences.
1. Checklist vs Model
Daygame Mastery is written as a detailed linear model of “first do this, then do that”. It works. That’s what everyone is doing and it’s a proven method. The problem is it puts the focus on YOU and what YOU’RE doing. Now I’m all about HER and what she’s READY FOR. It’s a subtle but powerful mental shift, analagous to a boxer throwing the punch for the space that’s opening up rather than the combo he’s practiced on the bag. The real skill comes in setting the girl up for that move, so you’re not merely passively awaiting opportunities. So now I’m drawing as well as leading. This means my mind is on ticking off her indicators so I know the time to move it forwards. If I tick them off in five minutes, I’ll pull the trigger in five minutes. Other times it takes three dates.
2. Key Performance Indicators
I’m not really thinking in terms of attraction / comfort / seduction. Instead I’m provoking and then filtering based on three KPIs that let me know if she’s a strong lead for adventure sex:
That’s all I need to know if it’s a good probability of fast sex.
3. DNA filtering
Every advanced daygamer has a finely-tuned spider sense. It crackles at key moments and lets you pick out a girl on a crowded street from 50m away. It sends a thrill through your body during the street stop. It screams “pull the trigger now!” I think key signs are:
These are the ultimate Yes Girls, where your respective DNA codes have pinged each other and agreed to have sex before your forebrains got the memo. You can train yourself to unburden your DNA to let it roam, hunting down your best sets.
4. Forebrain Eviction / Forebrain Panic Room
Assuming the girl has gotten through stages 1-3 and is on the idate / day2 I’ll often experience the peculiar situation where she is extremely giddy and says things like “I don’t know why I’m following you home” or “My brain has stopped working”. It means her hindbrain has so overwhelmingly decided to fuck that it’s impeached her forebrain from control of her actions. The early stages of this I often call “brain fry”.
You’ll spot it mostly from her giddy self-disbelieving “I can’t believe I’m doing this but I can’t stop” manner and it’s most often triggered by a strong first kiss and light neck biting / hair pulling. It’s especially powerful when coupled with the momentum of a sexualised idate. The problem is it often triggers the Panic Room, where her forebrain makes one last-gasp attempt to avoid being fucked. When those shutters slam down there is NO way to bust LMR and often the girl is gone forever.
I’ve taken many anal virginities in the past twelve months and I think it comes down to congruency. When you hit a girl with Diggler-esque r-selection she abandons the Nice Girl track. Assuming you get as far as the lay, anal is just a tiny step further. You don’t even have to ask. Just stick it in.
My personality is INTJ and that means ideas usually simmer in a morass of inpenetrable slop before suddenly appearing as fully-formed theories in a moment of gestalt understanding. I’m not there yet, but I feel it coming on. Of course all of the above assumes you’ve actually mastered the current version of the London Daygame Model.