I’m out with Suave on Oxford Street bothering women as usual. A cute little asian walks past and she has a beautiful graceful walk. I give chase and open:
Krauser: Hi. Do you mind if I give you a compliment. I was just over there with my friend when you caught my eye. You walk like a dancer. It’s so graceful.
HB Dancer: teehee etc.
It’s only a five minute set because she’s about to get the bus home and is hungry. Turns out English is actually her native language. I get the Facebook and head on to the next set. I assume the set won’t go anywhere because it was so rushed. She accepts the Facebook add and when I go through her pictures I become impressed. She’s a pole dancer and has an absolutely perfect body – proper slim curvy aerobics shape. None of that diet skinny bullshit. I throw out a feeler to see if she bites and we have the following FB mail exchange.
20 May at 23:09 Me: Have you tried the English (Pirate) language selection at the bottom of the page yet? ridiculous…. [light and non-sexual, but more involving than “hi, whassup”. Might get her to look at my profile. Remember I thought this was an extremely uninvested set]
23 May at 22:59 Her: Perhaps I just have a boring system, mine says English (US). What happens with the Pirate version? All your friends are listed as ‘matey’ (Aaaarrrr)?
25 May at 21:05 Me: Precisely. It had me laughing for ages. [no hurry to reply. I’m a guy with stuff to do]
I had a look at your photos. You never mentioned you were a pole dancer. That’s surprising, cos you look so innocent, but also kinda cool. [tease and mild SOI, trying to bait her]
28 May at 19:25 Her: Nope, I checked, and I still only have the default English settings.
I find it very difficult to slip ‘Yes, I’m a poledancer’ into random conversations on the street. And you are…something in the financial sector as well a practitioner of ju-jitsu and kickboxing? [cool, she checked me out – there’s some attraction]
30 May at 21:42 Me: Sort of. I love fighting. [terse and manly]
How’s your week looking. I wanna take you out. Wednesday good? [go direct, she’s either into me or she’s not but this thread could run out of steam quickly]
31 May at 19:07 Her: That was extremely direct. So, I too will be direct. [bang! directness is a DHV in itself – I’ve pushed her off the fence] Wednesday is in fact very bad, as I have two exams this week. However, on the premise that:
1) You are not a serial killer;
2) ‘Taking out’ is not construed as a ‘date’;
3) You are free next week;
I would suggest next Monday. Unfortunately I have class on Tuesdays-Thursdays. [qualifying me hard and baiting me for the chump with her as the prize. A strong frame]
01 June at 16:35
1) innocent till proven guilty
2) no expectations
Monday it is. Text me your number and I’ll give you details nearer the time. 07x xxxx xxxx. Let’s plan for about 6pm in the West End. [Didn’t want to challenge her frame too hard until I see her in person, just reframe enough to avoid being a chump and then regain the lead]
05 June at 20:14 Her: Would it be possible to push it up to 5pm? Or will you not be able to get off from work in time? In which case a late drink around 10pm? I was supposed to be free all night but unfortunately have to [blah blah]. Otherwise we could also reschedule for 6pm next Monday? [more beta bait but she’s also being polite and might have a legit clash]
A minute after this last message, the text game begins:
05 June 8:16pm Her: Hi, I’m available on this number from 2pm-2am, which is when I’m awake. Please don’t ever call before noon unless it’s a matter of life & death :) * HB Dancer [Strong frame, beta bait]
06 June 11:44am Me: Definitely not before noon…. [Note the time. I had to show some balls but not too rude]
06 June 2:03pm Her: That’s strike one [50/50 if this is bitchy or playful. On meeting her it turned out to be the latter]
06 June 9:55pm Me: 10pm-12 is good for me. Let’s go to [blues bar]. Meet [location] 10pm
06 June 10:43pm Her: Ok, I finish at 9:30pm at [place], so I might be slightly late, but will let you know if I am delayed.
That night is a friends birthday in Soho House and also a different friend DJing just off Oxford Street. She calls just before 10pm to say she’s running a bit late and then I eventually meet her near the station. I find out quite quickly that the bitchy frame in her texts is just soft irony and she’s actually really chatty and friendly. That’s a good thing. I take her into the club and I get DHVed off Jambone and his girl then we sit around a table chatting.
Lately I’ve been practising rapport and vibing so much that I’ve neglect some of the more classic game tactics, so I pay more attention to my friends than usual (i.e. not abandoning the guys for some new girl) and also tease and neg her quite hard. I judged her character right because she responds well and starts qualifying herself. As the music gets loud I bounce her to my friend’s birthday drinks. We get there just in time to catch Burto and his Spaniard on the way out so I get DHVed there (guy with high value girl says nice things about me) and move into rapport with HB Dancer. After a drink I take her back to the club for dancing.
She’s a sensual mover and really shakes the arse well. I respond by more or less ignoring her, letting her dance next to me but focusing all my attention on my friends and just having fun. I figure she’s used to guys trying to dry hump her. Then I pull Jambone off the dancefloor and we prop up the bar talking. Before long she comes to join us and as it gets towards 2am I put her on her bus home. Finally I start some kino – light touching, push aways and end on a boobie-to-boobie hug. I’m acting like she’s finally started to win me over. I do the usual “send me a message when you’re home so I know you’re ok” which results in:
08 June 2:16am Her: I am un-murdered and home and had a very enjoyable evening. Thank you :)
08 June 2:19am Me: Ok thanks, I’ll recall the helicopter. Sleep well ;)
08 June 2:19am Her: Total over reaction, I can fend for myself. I disarm them with my charm :P Goodnight!
I’m feeling pretty chuffed. Unliked my usual sets, where text / FB game is just logistics, this one relied on it for getting the attraction high enough to secure the date. I then changed things up a little based on my intuition about her character and it worked. I leave it a day and then:
It would be wrong not to
2:04pm Me: You really wake up so late? [reopening but more challenging than “hi”]
2:04pm Her: 3 mins ago exactly
2:06pm Me: Shameful! I’ve had cats who sleep less than you do. [immediately playful judger, give her a thread to expand]
2:07pm Her: Can I counter by stating that my dogs sleep the same amount? [playing along]
2:08pm Me: HB Dancer = doglike :D [judging, teasing]
2:08pm Her: As in cute and good natured. Minus the fur. [qualifying]
2:09pm Me: Ok, I’ll buy that. [Reward. She’s winning me over]
2:13pm Her: And let us not forget the bitchy aspect :P [qualifying, showing me she’s fun]
2:15pm Me: How about the acceptance of and loyalty to her master? [screening frame, but playful]
2:16pm Her: I bow to no man. Or woman. Or ideology for that matter. [she’s referring to something I told her on the date – a great sign]
2:17pm Me: Oh man, you’re gonna be trouble….. [Future projecting and validating her playfulness]
2:18pm Her: Gonna be is a future prospect. I prefer to work in the present tense. [playing along]
2:20pm Me: Trouble AND a would-be philosopher. Is there any limit to your talents? :P [patronising her, positioning myself above]
2:21pm Her: One strives for perfection after all :P [accepting it]
2:22pm Me: Aye [one word game – putting onus on her]
2:23pm Her: But one can settle for marvellous [More qualifying, stretching out thread]
2:25pm Me: Steady on :O ! I’m going to a birthday party on Saturday night. Wanna come with? [Finally, I have to get to the point. continue the frame of me as having a full social life]
2:25pm Her: I’m going to the circus on Sat, but thanks for the invite :) [Refused! At least she justifies it]
2:27pm Me: Ok. Which days are you usually free at a normal time? Like, from 7 or 8pm. [Reframe to put onus on her as being weird and me requiring her to meet my standards – of meeting at a normal time]
2:29pm Her: Haha, normally Mondays. Unless [constraint]. Or Fridays generally. [Good. This is implicitly accepting a Day 3]
2:31pm Me: Hmmm. Would you be offended if I show up ever-so-slightly drunk? A pint or two “to the good” as it were. [Don’t jump directly to the ask. Imply I’m gonna do my own things and am just seeing if I can fit her in to my schedule]
2:33pm Her: Are you habitually minorly drunk on Mondays? That’s a very weird day to select. Short answer: no. But I will go home if you start doing the macarena. [Accepted the Day 3 for Monday but I actually prefer Friday]
2:36pm Me: Actually I was thinking Friday – I’ve got a work drink 5 till 7 near [City]
2:41pm Her: Friday’s the World Cup. I’ll be getting lessons on soccer from flat mates to better appreciate [her team]’s efforts. [Another legit excuse. I made an error in not reading her prior text as discounting Friday]
2:47pm Me: Oh, I see. [her team] will be eliminated by Monday, so we’ll go out then and drown your sorrows. 7pm good? [Tease to deflect that I’m falling into her frame, imply drinking, assume the sale]
2:49pm Her: I would like to see the triumph of hope over experience, but Monday looks good at present. Let me know details closer to the time then.
2:54pm Me: Ok
There’s a few things notable about the exchange. First, the rapidity of responses over the course of an hour. I was sitting in a cafe relaxing over coffee whereas she’s just gotten out of bed and was presumably checking her phone every minute or so as she got ready for her day. Second, the whole first half of the exchange was me teasingly qualifying her. Third, I was fighting to avoid a DLV in the second half because dragging it on without securing the date looks bad, but giving up after a refusal equally so. My attempt was to qualify her as I did it and assume the eventual sale. I think it worked. Not sure.
Note also that I have not edited her messages to make them grammatically correct. She really does write in full sentences with correct spelling. More than any other thing this is making me want to tap that ass. I love a girl who writes properly.
Anyway, she sent me a link to her doing a pole dance demo and it has absolutely confirmed my intention to bang her. Hard.