A cute little Muslim

June 6, 2010

I’m out with Suave and Subzero on a Sunday afternoon in town. The sets are going fine and we’re having fun. We decide to walk into HMV for some shop game. Browsing through the DVD rack I spot a cute petite HB7 Arab. She’s wearing a daft flat cap, so that gives me my opener.

Krauser: Hi. I just noticed you while I was looking at DVDs. I had to come over and tell you I love your style.
HB Arab: *beaming smile* thank you
Krauser: Except the silly hat. It looks like something my grandad wore to the greyhound racing.
HB Arab: *gasp. laughs*

It’s an easy hook and she’s so demure and maidenly. Muslim too, so doubly fun to think of a possible deflowering. We chat about five minutes when her big fat friend comes over. I immediately include her and she’s on my side quickly and is actually a pleasant girl too. There’s about ten minutes in all and then I take the Facebook. We’d already figured out she was going back to Libya in a day or two and I didn’t fancy my chances of extracting her with the bodyguard around.

I assume the set is finished, but she adds me to Facebook and I decide to give things a try.

Krauser – 19 May at 00:13
HB. I just had a quick look through your photos. Is that really you? They look like you cut them out of a fashion magazine.
HB Arab – 19 May at 10:09
Hiiiiiiiiii, those r not my pics hehehe
Krauser – 19 May at 13:03
That’s very naughty. And I thought you were such a nice girl….
HB Arab – 19 May at 13:27
lol I am nice girl, u think putting other pics then mine would be naughty of me?
Krauser – 19 May at 15:00
HB Arab – 19 May at 15:18
but am not
Krauser – 19 May at 16:28
haha ok I’ll believe you this time. So can you upload a real picture so I feel like I’m talking to the real HB Arab? maybe with your old-man flat cap from the greyhound racing…..

The next day I check in to FB and almost immediately a chat window pops up. Here it is in full tedious detail:

11:35 Her: hi  ;);)
11:37 Me: hey!
11:38 Her: how r u? hope still remember me :D:D
11:39 Me: Ha ha, I remember. You’re the pretty girl with the silly hat
11:39 Her: hahahaha  u think that was a silly hat   lool
11:39 Me: Yeah, but it looked cute on you
11:40 Her: thanx  i just liked that hat
11:40 Me: It’s a bank holiday today, so no work!
11:40 Her: wow lucky u
11:41 Me: Gonna feed the ducks in Hamstead Heath with some friends
11:41 Her: enjoy   am stuck at work  :(:(
11:41 Me: boo
11:41 Her: :P:P
11:41 Me: So you’re back in [arab town] now?
11:42 Her: Its [arab town] not [other arab town]
11:42 Me: Oops  They are nearby tight?
11:42 Her: [town] is in Asia  but [town] in north Africa
11:42 Me: [other town]?
11:42 Her: near to tunis, Egypt, moroco & Algeria
11:43 Me: Yeah, my bad. [local joke]. I know.
11:43 Her: yep exactly  hehehe
11:43 Me: When are you next coming to London?
11:44 Her: dont know maybe in july or August  but not sure
11:44 Me: It’ll be good weather then. I’ll show you around. If you promise not to be naughty and cause trouble
11:45 Her: lol hahaha   am a good girl    am not a trouble girl but sometimes ppl get me involved  ;);)
11:46 Me: I’ll have to watch you carefully then…..
11:46 Her: hahaha
11:46 Me: I have to jump in the shower now. I’m leaving at 12.
11:46 Her: ok
11:46 Me: later
11:46 Her: talk to u soon
11:47 Me: one last thing  put up a real picture!
11:47 Her: yes  hope so

Looking good. She “likes” a few posts on my wall and then posts herself. I post back onto hers. Then next time she’s online the same as me I reopen. I forgot to save the full chat but it starts with her saying she’s had a great week, then I tell her to send me a photo. She does, of her in London the day before we met where she’s not smiling. I tease that she looks miserable and she should send one from right after we met, cos she’ll have a huge grin then. The rest is as follows:

Likes anal. Probably.

23:56 Her: cuz havent met u
23:56 Me: Have you got one of your smiling/  ?
23:56 Her: let me check
23:58 Me: cool
00:01 Her: here i got 2
00:02 Me: waiting…..
00:03 Her: soon   did u get it
00:03 Me: still waiting…..
00:05 Her: got them
00:06 Me: Not yet. Are they worth the wait?
00:06 Her: lol  i dont know
00:06 Me: Or are you pulling a stupid face and sticking your tongue out?
00:07 Her: its my internet to slow
00:07 Me: Anyway, how’s your week been?
00:07 Her: so great
00:07 Me how so?
00:08 Her:
had dinner with friends    in chinese resturant  :D:D
00:09 Me: nice. Mixed vegetables fried noodle. That’s my favourite
00:10 Her: its was nice   is the weather there getting better
00:12 Me: It’s burning hot here in London. My head looks like a tomato
00:12 Her: loool  really  its burning in here too
00:12 Me: I bought an old man’s flat cap similar to yours. We can wear them when we go to greyhound racing together. We’ll be like a cute old-age couple
00:13 Her: wow that will be coool. who knows maybe in july
00:13 Me: Hopefully not between 1st and 11th
00:13 Her: no maybe at the end
00:14 Me: Cool.  What else will you wear at the dog racing. Think carefully – we have to look REALLY old, or they might not let us in.  Like, 60 years old
00:14 Her: hahahha.  oh my god.  i guess u got my pic
00:15 Me: First one, in your room. No smile.
00:16 Her: how comes
00:18 Her: u did not like it
00:18 Me: Oh, it’s a nice photo. but I asked for one where you’re smiling. I remember you had a cute shy smile
00:19 Her: oh havent got much pics smiling in them.  but will tag one and send it to u.  soon.  tomorrow
00:19 Me: Too cool to smile?
00:19 Her: yeah
00:20 Me: hahaha. Yeah, send me one.
00:20 Her: :P:P.  but not today tomorrow i will
00:20 Me: What’s your favourite photo on my FB?
00:20 Her: u have alot of nice pics.  i was wondering why u r not putting them
00:21 Me: putting where?
00:21 Her: on fb
00:22 Me:
***** ERROR *******
***** GIRL LOGIC ******
***** MAKES NO SENSE ******
00:22 Her: i mean the profile pic.  hahahaha
00:22 Me: ah, I don’t change that much.  I like the squirrel
00:23 Her: but u got much nice ones
00:23 Me: Thank you. A favourite?
00:24 Her: there is one.  u r in an old city.  but u r too far away
00:25 Me: hmmmmmmmmmm, not sure which. Which album?
00:26 Her: tag one of th elephant pics
00:28 Me: I tagged one with you.  just now. Hope you like it
00:30 Her: with me
00:30 Me: not sure what you meant
00:30 Her: thats anice one.  its a nice pic. there is in an album called
00:31 Me: called what?
00:31 Her: beautiful long weekend.  i like the pic u r sitting in it
00:32 Me: Ah, Seville!  Beautiful city. I went with my ex-girlfriend
00:33 Her: yep.  thats cool
00:33 Me: Didn’t put her in them 😛
00:33 Her: but no pics of her.  hahaha. i love the pics
00:34 Me: thanks
00:35 Her: now am going off to sleep. had enough for today
00:35 Me: good night
00:35 Her: and i got to wake up early. good nite
00:35 Me: 😛
00:35 Her: and sweet dreams
00:35 Me: you too
00:36 Her: ;0  😉 😉

And probably oral too

So what do you reckon the odds are of her coming to visit and there being one less virgin for the suicide bombers to claim in Allah-land?

UPDATE: Confirmed both the anal and oral. Heh!


  1. Well seeing as the men in Libya are only interested in fucking little boys and not women she’s probably gagging for it.

  2. Pingback: Weekend Link Fest – World Cup Edition (what else?) « Seasons of Tumult and Discord

  3. @ bhodisatta

    Wow! I like how some “nobodies” like to stirup stereotypes. Libyan men fucking little boys?!
    According to whom? Your twisted racist brain? 🙂

    As far as I know, the country with most homosexual pedophile percentage is yours….

    @ post writer
    Say what? what the odds are of her coming back to visit and meet up with you again?

    You crack me up son! Listen douchebag 🙂 There isn’t that much web content related
    to Libya.. not as much as there is for the US or the UK…etc.

    and your post ranks high when you search for a libyan related topic.

    She has probably found your post by now and seen the true dirty side of you.

    Besides, what you posted above wasn’t “game”… it is called KJ.
    You did over 4 lame mistakes up there.

    Despite the fact that she is kindda shy and trying to be nice to you as a “foreigner”,
    there is no way she’d fall for this KJ stuff and get really attracted to you… lol

    And your last sentence matches up the same KJ game and IQ levels.

    You’re just like our other friend there… the typical work result of western media brainwash.

    How old are you, really? What do libyans have to do with suicide bombers??
    Oh wait! Just because they are muslims!

    Anyone with a head between their shoulders knows that there is more to this
    whole thing, than has to do with “Arabs” and “Muslims”.

    Son, there are over 1.57 billion Muslims in this world. 23%+ Nearly one fifth of the world’s population.
    If even 1% of them were “suicide bombers”, you and your whole nation wouldn’t have existed now.

    I suggest you stop repeating around stereotypes and stick to posting your lame sex-less field reports, that keep us laughing 🙂

  4. hi! sorry guys.. i want only girls.. hahaha. kisses

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