I hate the fucking Irish.
Ok, perhaps I should qualify that statement. I hate the following things about Irish culture: the victim complex, the plastic pubs, the pointless sectarianism, the retarded social values in the South, leprechauns, the whoring out of their thugs to any terrorist with a grudge against the English, the continuous murder of bystanders, the total incompetence, and lastly the way they spent 1,000 years attacking England and then the moment we kicked their arse they go into a perpetual hard-done-by mode.
Rant over. For the 90% of Irish who don’t embody these traits – I don’t hate you.
The context is this. I was out with Wisdom yesterday when he relayed a story. He was in set demoing for a student (day game) when some skinny Irish guy comes over and starts AMOGing him, saying right to the girl “there’s another five guys down there who’ll hit on you too.” This is almost unheard of in daygame. It’s literally never happened to me or anyone I know before this. Wisdom AMOGs back but the set is lost. Like the old adage “never fight a pig – you both end up covered in shit but the pig likes it” you can’t really win an AMOG battle in a freshly opened set. It totally sours the mood of a daytime pick up.
Wisdom was left thinking WTF? I have been ruminating on a new approach to dealing with AMOGs which basically comes down to the following:
1. Establish they really are AMOGing
2. Threaten violence.
That probably requires further explanation. AMOGing is mis-named because its a beta activity. Alphas like to have honest open competition under the harsh glare of sunlight and resulting in a decisive win-loss. Betas shrink from all decisive outcomes, fearful of losing, and thus conduct their conflicts in the passive-aggressive grey area. It’s the same reason they try to sneak under the radar when hitting on girls, why they hate sport, and I suppose why they like Apple products. AMOGing is essentially insulting the other guy within a grey area so it doesn’t quite sound like an insult and you can backtrack if called out: “Hey pal, I wasn’t causing offence. Can’t you take a joke?”
Defensive AMOGing is worth knowing to defend a set that you want to keep. Outright displays of violence don’t go down well with many girls, and can get you in trouble with the law. But allow me to propose an alternative:
Step 1 – Ascertain it’s an actual AMOGing
If you are in set in day time and a guy goes out of his way to approach you to deliver a put down, then it’s almost certain he’s AMOGing. If your gut feels it, it probably is. However, if you’re in a charitable mood and also don’t want to immediately lose the set by appearing unreasonable you may want to do a normal AMOG verbal response (people unaware of social dynamics usually don’t read the subtext well – something I’ve noticed in streetfights when the onlooking pussies completely miss the way an aggressor was trying to line you up before you decked him so because you hit first they think you’re the unreasonable one). If he doesn’t soften, and instead continues, you know for sure you’ve got yourself an AMOG rather than a merely uncalibrated interloper.
Step 2 – Bring him out of the grey area
This is essentially the “Reardon gambit“. AMOGing can only exist when you both dance nimbly in the shadows of passive-aggression. Just call the guy out.
AMOG: Haha. Yeah, where are you going in those shorts – 1970?
Krauser: Come again?
AMOG: The shorts, pal. My old man had a pair when he used to go to Blackpool pier
Krauser: Did you just insult me?
AMOG: Haha, nah man, why are you so touchy?
Krauser: No really. That sounded like an insult. You just took the piss out of my shorts. Why did you do that?
AMOG: Yeah, well they are shit. Haha.
Krauser: Woah. Hold up. You just insulted me again, after I told you I don’t like it.
Krauser: * to girl * Hang on a minute.
Krauser: * to AMOG * Who the fuck do you think you are. I don’t know you from a fucking vagrant in the street and you just come over to two people having a conversation and start fucking insulting them.
Step 3 – Clearly imply violence
Make it clear that this is no longer a conversation. He is an unwelcome aggressor and he has to fuck off. Personally I’d suggest you don’t actually verbalise the “…or I’ll lamp you” because that invites him to say “go on then” and thus witnesses consider you the aggressor. Better to give him the death stare, push him back, and tell him to get fucked. But not raising your voice or losing control.
So this is what I’ve been thinking lately, without ever expecting to need it. Then I’m out with Jambone this afternoon and we see exactly the same Irish guy (he’s often in Covent Garden – I knew who Wisdom meant immediately upon hearing the story). We are propping up a lampost outside M&S and this guy tries opening a girl right in front of us. She doesn’t stop. It’s a blowout but nothing unusual for daygame. As the guy turns back away from her he notices us watching him. We aren’t sniggering or anything, just a vaguely interested gaze at something happening right in front of us. The guy clearly has mad-Irish-inferiority issues because he comes up to us and this happens [paraphrasing]:
Paddie: * challenging but not aggressive tone* I saw you boys eyeballing that. Was that good enough for ya?
Jambone: * returning the tone * We saw you following that girl, your tongue hanging out your mouth.
Paddie: * English accent immediately brings out 400 years of inferiority complex * Well you’re about to see an Irish guy knock an English guy’s head off. [yes, he was that quick to unprovoked aggression]
Jambone: * doesn’t move from his slouch or bat an eyelid * Just try it
Paddie: I fucking will you know
Jambone: I’ll give you £100 if you try.
Paddie: I fucking will. I’ve got a bunch of 50 provo boyos round the corner in the pub who’ll back me up.
Jambone: * laughs * Krauser, I’ve never met an Irishman who didn’t claim to have fifty provos in the pub to back him up * laughs *
Paddie: * to me, seeking agreement * He’s a laugh a minute this guy. What a dick.
Krauser: I’m his friend. Not yours.
This goes on a little more and then a car nearly drives in to him so he has to cross the road away from us. He stands seething for a while as Jambone heckles him. He approaches another girl who blows him out then he walks off in the huff. We debrief the event and it dawns on us just how weird it was. I can only imagine his pride was so sore at having us see him get blown out (and he’s seen me approaching, so perhaps he feels competitive pride) that if flicked the mad-Irishman trigger. Seeing as I share my pitch with him, I suspect he’ll try to AMOG me again when I’m out solo because it was Jambone who put up 90% of the resistance this time round so he doesn’t know I’m itching to try out my new violence-based anti-AMOG. I’ll try to get it on video.
My date shows up (Guyana girl) and I head off. While in Habitat buying a frying pan I actually see the Irish guy through the shop window, gaming a 40 yr old woman on the street outside. Hmmmmmm.
Before all this happened, I did three sets. First one I closed – see video. Second was interrupted in less than two minutes by a cockblock, and the third was a nice two set sitting drinking Pimms that hooked well but couldn’t close.
UPDATE: A front view