It’s funny how many things I learn about the world just by following back-links to my blog in the WordPress admin dashboard. Three weeks ago I saw a couple of hits from a blog called streetstories. What’s this? I ask myself. That sounds an awful lot like daygame. So I clicked it. I had a little perusal and yes, it’s another player’s journey blog. I seemed to vaguely recognise the guy who writes it, Alex.

Isn’t he that British guy living in Warsaw? Yep, I remember now. What’s that? He has a memoir out? Well, well, well. How interesting. I’m writing volume three of my memoir so I’m pretty interested in that kind of thing right now. I ordered a copy of Too Late, Mate? [1] and it arrived yesterday. I just got to page 42 (of 322) so here’s my impressions so far.

First impressions, yesterday

First thing that’s immediately apparent is that Alex cares about the book. It’s a big weighty tome that has been carefully written and clearly gone through planning, editing and multiple rewrites. It’s a real book. The first 42 pages flew by with very few clunky moments to break the narrative immersion. It flows nicely, and I’m a harsh judge of such things. But lets get to the content.

The main hook of the book is that Alex began his journey aged 46 after a fifteen year dry spell. Yes, I shit you not. That’s getting his last lay at 31 and then suffering grinding celibacy for as long as the New Labour government’s run in power. As you’d expect his pre-game story is one of grinding failure perhaps even exceeding Bodi’s in Death By A Thousand Sluts. It gives the book a self-effacing and genial tone as Alex writes in the same affable lovable-loser tone that characterised his early adult life.

Some of his recollections show serious psychological issues. Technically, the big one is his complete lack of sexual threat. He’d been brought up sackless and thus never escalated girls. Several times girls give him a chance only to eventually give up in disgust having endured months of intent-free gentlemanly dating. This comes down to a central identity problem – he wanted to be a gentleman. Consider:

“I reminded myself that I was a 46-year old lawyer with a strong social circle and a certain status, and a part of me, the old fashioned Victorian-era gentleman Dr. Watson, said, Mm! This is all a bit sketchy. These [PUAs] are not respectable individuals… Yad, for instance, seems like some unusual street animal” (page 41)

This is a similar issue I had, expressed in Balls Deep:

“Yes, I messed it up. Again, I just couldn’t find it within myself to escalate. All of my existing beliefs about myself, about women’s sexuality, about what is possible in dating were hamstringing me. There was a little voice telling me she was in a serious relationship and it would be rude for me to push towards sex. Perhaps even immoral. So she stood at the bar in hot pants and tight top, gazing into my eyes over the top of her drink while she got some “plausible deniability” alcohol into her system… and I just chatted. Didn’t even try to kiss her. She was doing everything she could to make me fuck her, and I just wouldn’t take control. This was the second chance she’d given me. Poor girl. And she was a stunner too. I was so frustrated with myself.” (page 127)

It’s easy to puff yourself up that you are “not that kind of man” and to hang on to your self-perceived high status as a man of respectability. In my case it was my academics and finance job, in Alex’s case his spirituality and lawyer job. It’s a front, part of a superiority complex, and neither of us really believed it. You can’t escalate girls if your identity believes you’re too gentlemanly to do that kind of thing.

There’s a refreshingly candid tone to Alex’s book. I can tell you from experience that it’s really tough to open yourself up in print and write humiliating stories of your own cringe-worthy behaviours. Most game memoirs are victory laps, trying to get the reader to agree that the author is awesome [2]. Like Bodi before him, Alex wants to tell the story as it happened and give you a window into what he really thought. I admire that.

Believe me, Alex was as gamma as they come. That makes this kind of thoughtful and unflattering self-reflection particularly difficult [3]. Here’s an example:

“[I] deliberately failed my A-Levels by sheer intellectual arrogance; being unwilling to allow the examiners to judge me on my favourite topics of Art, History, and English, I did not write a word on one of the exams.” (page 10)

Holy fuck, the smug delusional gamma arrogance of that teenager! Now imagine what another thirty years of intellectual and professional success would do to that mind while starved of female sexual access. That’s what Alex had stored up while heading into his first bootcamp in 2014. I’m amazed he didn’t top himself, and interested to see how he dragged himself through his first thousand sets of hell.

So far the book is good. It takes a leisurely pace in setting the context for discovering daygame and patiently lays the groundwork. There are some choice words for navel-gazing self-help charlatans and like me he thinks Kezia Noble’s PUA business is just escorting without the sex. He’s foreshadowed talking about the hapless Johnny Cassell so I can’t wait for that story.

You can buy the book here. Bear in mind this is just my impressions based on first 15% of it and I don’t think I’ve ever even spoken to Alex never mind offered to promote his book.

[1] Yes, even though he’s on Team Torero

[2] The memoir is itself an attempt to draw narcissistic supply from readers in order to puff up the writer’s own false idealised self
[3] And, therefore, critically important in making progress

Two months ago, I predicted Daygame Infinite would be ready in about two months. Well, that turned out to be true. I’ve had a bunch of people asking for an update so here it is, on video. Take a look.

Although the book is ready, I’m not releasing it just yet. There are two things left to tick off before I pull the trigger. First, I’m seriously considering releasing the book with a full colour interior only. No B/W edition. Why? Because it looks like I can do so without the usual exponential increase in printing costs. I haven’t confirmed my calculations yet but I’ll update you when I know the final answer.

Second, I’m probably going to do a London book launch event in mid-December. Perhaps a talk for a couple of hours and then passing a sample copy around for people to see. Leave a comment if that idea interests you and you’d show up.

I was out yesterday with Eddie of Street Attraction. We were walking up a chav street with pokey shops on one side and a nice park on the other. A girl came the other direction and as she went passed she didn’t IOI.

No sideways glance

No smile

My spider sense immediately triggered and I turned my head to check her out as she walked past. Young-ish, probably a student, dressed in mostly black with the odd flash of colour. Why did my spider sense trigger, I asked myself.

This one trembled, too

Eddie clearly noticed something too because he was already off giving chase. She hooked strong and he took a number. Coming back to us he commented, “Really strong set. Strongest positive reaction I’ve had in a long time”

The germ of an idea formed. I think I realised why we’d both picked her out as a high-probability target over and above all the other girls walking past.

The next day, today, we were having a little walkabout after lunch. A pretty student girl walked past me and I have exactly the same feeling. I opened, she hooked well, clear attraction but unfortunately not enough to want to give up the number. Nice set, nothing doing. About half an hour later, another girl goes past and I get the exact same feeling. Again I open, again it’s a strong hook and this time she gives up the number and seems keen.

So, three sets in three days is three data points for my emerging idea. I shall continue to consider it. I call it the tremble.

All three girls visibly trembled as they walked past us. It wasn’t an IOI per se. But they visibly reacted to noticing us go past. How did it look? Difficult to describe. Think of it this way: how does the image on your TV set temporarily shimmer when you hit the side of the unit. There’s a tiny pulse before the image stabilises it again, but for a micro-second you notice the shimmer.

It means the girl is reacting to you. That’s a good sign.

Let me explain to you the three main types of daygame I see people doing [1] and what fuels them. All three will look nominally similar on the street were you to watch an infield but once you’re sharp enough to see nuance, you’ll easily categorise guys into one of the three types.

Dentist Chair Daygame
This is almost every beginner and many of the less experienced coaches [2]. These men are carrying the “invisible rucksack” around. They are motivated by the desire to get laid but their hindbrain isn’t on board so they experience significant cognitive dissonance. They don’t enjoy daygame and don’t want to be on the street, but they do desperately want to improve their dating life. Thus they “embrace the grind” and mentally prepare themselves to endure the pain in order to get the reward.

It’s like heading to the dentist to get your tooth out. You are wracked with nerves, feel the pressure, but steel yourself for the moment the needle is injected into your gums because you know you need that tooth fixed.

First one is the worst one

Such daygame relies upon forebrain willpower overruling hindbrain resistance. In order to do so, the daygamer must repeat his favourite mantras, wrangle his forebrain, forestall the weasels and push himself into set. It’s hard. It’s unsustainable. It’s very easy to be knocked off course because the slightest adverse wind can blow down the house of cards.

Watching these guys infield you’ll see stiff body language, pained facial expressions, repetitive formulaic sets, almost always crappy Yad Stops, and forced smiles.

The invisible rucksack is the weight of expectation you carry on your back while daygaming. It tires you out. This is why men can hit the streets for three hours, do only a couple of sets, and yet they are exhausted like they’ve run a marathon [3]. Unfortunately this type of daygame is a necessary period for almost every would-be daygamer. It takes a long time to prepare your hindbrain to start enjoying daygaming.

Crack Pipe Daygame
Once you’re good at the model and have stacked up plenty of positive reference experiences you can begin to enjoy what I called the Joy Of Daygame. It becomes a hobby you look forward to because the very act of being on the street chasing girls is fun in and of itself. The Dentist Chair daygamers may enjoy certain individual sets or even a short run of “peak vibe” but for the most part it’s a miserable chore. Crack Pipe daygamers enjoy almost the full session including the blowouts, and all the walking between sets.

You look… like… really… um… what? where? Hang on..

This style is based on momentum. The daygamer gets himself into a happy vibe and then keeps taking hits on the crack pipe (each set) to maintain his high. Watching these sets you’ll notice high energy, very real fun being had, and usually the techniques are free-form and follow the model in principle more than in specific actions. It’s often belligerent, fizzy, and gets strong positive reactions from girls [4]

I like crack pipe daygame and did it especially a lot in 2015-16. I still do it when the weather is nice, lots of girls are out, and I’m in a good mood. I thoroughly recommend it. It does have a downside though.

It’s extremely tiring. It’s like firing the afterburners non-stop. It’s not just negative reactions that tire you (like Dentist Chair daygame). The positive reactions also rapidly drain your brain chemistry and you’ll soon sink into a zombie like state of muttering short sentences and failing to hear your friends talking. That’s the time to end the session and refuel for the next time.

It’s also such an exuberant form of daygame that it’s highly tempting to over-escalate. That said, most crack pipe daygamers are savvy enough to know what’s up and how to rein it in.

Fat Buddha Daygame
This is the type I prefer now mostly because it has the minimum energy spend and is thus the most sustainable. This type of daygamer has spent so long on the streets and has so thoroughly absorbed the skill-set into his muscle memory that daygame feels as natural as walking. Although aware of the model he doesn’t ever think about it. He’s walking around the street like a car in idling, the engine turning but barely revved up and almost no petrol cost. Usually he’s talking about something completely unrelated to game with his wing.

He’s standing in the Daygame River, enjoying the sunshine.

Not so badass

Then his pre-approach skills identify high-probability targets as they drift past. He opens, and if the immediately reaction is okay he fires up the afterburners for as long as the set lasts. Then he’s right back to idling the motor for as long as it takes until the next set. While in set, it looks a lot like Crack Pipe daygame but not as fizzy. It’s more controlled, less extravagant in the use of energy.

There’s a downside to this type too, which is lower overall activity. You’ll only do a 1/10th of the work as Crack Pipe daygaming [5] which is good, but you’ll only fuck half as many women. This is why men who still have high motivation to turn over the notch counter prefer the crack pipe, whereas men satisfied to pick off just a handful of girls prefer the ease of the zen route.

So, that’s three types I’ve noticed. Dentist Chair daygame is clearly the worst of the lot and you should only do it while you have to, and bin it when conditions are favourable. I’d say Crack Pipe and Fat Buddha game are equally good but very clearly appropriate for different moods and circumstances.

If you enjoyed this post you’ll love Daygame Mastery, the bible of daygame

[1] Of those daygamers who actually have a decent chance of getting laid. There’s probably a fourth type of Buffoon Daygame for the likes of Deepak, Justin Wayne, Sol, Berba, Jacob Prince etc
[2] By which I mean guys who’ve been daygaming long enough to want to try their hand at coaching, but haven’t been coaching for long
[3] Or watched a Deepak infield right the way through
[4] Richard from Street Attraction is a good example of crack pipe daygame, as he usually plays that angle when the camera is turned on.
[5] The joy of the crack pipe encourages you to seek out marginal sets, chasing the hit. It’s not unusual to do twenty or more sets in a crack session. In contrast, fat Buddhas may do less than five.

I looked out the window as the plane began it’s descent. Below me, the city sprawled for miles, clinging to a winding river as it snaked to the sea. There’d be many girls in that city. Many hot girls.

Oh yes, I wanted my share, and would fight to have it, but there was more than the girls… there was the getting of the girls; there was the smooth glide of the air-plane as it approached the landing strip and then the bump and rattle as the landing gear hit tarmac; there was the lap of river water against the waterfront lined with bars, restaurants and a pedestrian promenade… there were bird sounds, the water sounds… the distant hubbub of a group of students laughing and drinking… these things that no man can buy; these things that get in the blood; these things that build the memories of tomorrow; the hours to look back upon.

Volume 5 of the memoir

I wanted these more than notches. There is a time for adventure when the body is young and the mind alert and all the world seems there for one’s hands to use, to hold, to take. And this was my New World, this world of the Former Soviet Union, these lands where long ago the Tartars, and Cossacks, and Bolsheviks came, and which now were teeming with hot young women. Where waterfront bars buzz with accordions and song, where hard-working men throw shots of raikya down their necks and tell tales of war.

What is any man but the total of what he has seen? The sum of what he has done? The strange foods, the women whose bodies have merged with his, the smells, the tastes, the longings, the dreams, the haunted nights? The dive bars of Kiev, the plazas of Moscow, the clubs of Minsk… the worst of it, and the best… the grand arches and monuments built by lost, dead hands, the nights on an isolated hill staring at stars, the splendour of a storm, the tumultuous power of winds whipping through streets. These are a man.. and the solid thrill of a punch landed, the faint smell of whiskey, spice, a girls perfume…. the taste of blood from a split lip.

“Excuse me! You look French. I said… YOU LOOK FRENCH!!!”

Oh yes, I had come for things other than women but that evening, for the first time, I was sleepless. Tomorrow there would be, with luck, a throng of beautiful women… and with four of my friends, many ways to tackle them. Many things to be done and memories to be formed.

Life can be carved into two halves: the anticipation, and the memory. And if we remember richly, we must have lived richly.

This fragment was inspired by Louis L’Amour and an adventure story of his I read today, Off The Mangrove Coast.

I’m sure the entire daygame world is on tenterhooks waiting to see what’s inside Daygame Infinite [1]. I’ve been playing it fairly close to my chest for a few reasons, my extreme arrogance paranoia notwithstanding. Regular readers know I like to under-promise and over-deliver on my products [2] and I also like to take my time meticulously polishing them until ready.

I was recently watching one of Vox Day’s periscopes and he broke it all down nicely, explaining how different people conceive of “success” in different ways. I’m too lazy to go back to his podcast, but he listed potential motivations for why people write and thus what would constitute success for them. For example:

• To get on the New York Times bestseller list
• To make a big pot of money
• To get invited on speaking tours and lecture circuit as an expert
• To get reviewed in certain high-brow magazines
• To settle scores with rivals
• To achieve something of quality that stands the test of time.

There are many motivations. I realised my main motivation is posterity. I want to leave my mark on my little corner of the world, producing the very best material there is while I still have the motivation to put in the work necessary to do so [3]. Obviously I’m not much motivated by money or else I’d be rushing out shit to sell to fools, and I’d put way more effort into my marketing efforts [4]. Perhaps next year I’ll become a PUA whore selling nonsense e-books to no-hoper idiots, but at least until the end of this year I’m more interested in writing for the knowledgeable crowd.

So, long pre-amble over, how is Daygame Infinite coming on, you ask?
Well, I’m glad you asked sonny-Jim. Let’s see, shall we…….

The book is done. Like, properly done. I just sent a list of typos / layout imperfections to my graphic designer to process and after that I could release it as is. But I won’t. Why? Well, two things:

• I’m having technical issues with the publisher’s software accepting my PDF upload. We’ve been on to technical support for a couple of weeks now and they’ve essentially given up in frustration. They layout is so complex it’s giving the conversion software a meltdown, even though tech support say it’s a compliant file. So, while trying to get Lulu to take the file, I’m also trialling alternate publishers. I’m optimistic, but this book won’t be released until I’ve had a paper copy in my hands that I’m satisfied with.
• Given the delay in publication, I’ve decided to add some extra commentary to the WhatsApp chats used in the book. to squeeze in a bit more content. This is a pretty quick job to fit them in, probably less than a week, so can run concurrently with the efforts to fix the printing issue.

But yeah, the book is done. I’m travelling all through November so the earliest it’ll be released is end of November because that’s the earliest I can possibly get my hands on a paper copy test print. I’m not deliberately delaying the release. If that test print is good, I’ll release it to the public within hours of checking it [5]

Most chats have commentary but some, like this, don’t yet

[1] Or at least the coaches wondering what material they’ll be rehashing for the next few years
[2] Literally the opposite of most PUA blowhards
[3] Believe me, I’m rapidly losing interest. If Daygame Infinite wasn’t written in 2017 it would never be written at all
[4] Money tip: spend 90% of your time producing polished marketing and 10% rushing out substandard products. You’ll make way more money than doing it the other way around, like I do.
[5] But if the test print has bad errors, it’s another week or two to fix them and get a new test print.

In other news, I’ve returned to working on volume three of the memoir. It’s current sitting at 79k words, of which I’ve rewritten the first 20k recently. My plan is to chip away at the rewrite until all 79k words of the first draft have been replaced with a (far superior) second draft. Then I’ll reflect on where it’s at, and how long it is, before doing another pass to add in new stories and additional themes. I’d like it to finish up between 120-160k words so that it matches up with the other three volumes. Don’t expect to hear much before 2018 unless I get a sudden rush of enthusiasm to write. I’m enjoying it but there’s no money in the memoir so I’m writing only when I feel like it.