The Hare and the Tortoise

April 26, 2016
krauserpua

I’m a logical, disciplined man reared on book reading and video games. I also spent a large portion of my adult life working in finance and learning martial arts. This encouraged me to develop an incremental linear meta-view of the world.

A meta-what????

Ask yourself this – how does one progress or achieve in life?

Most people of my fuddy-duddy generation were brought up to think we are tortoises rather than hares. The fact that parable is so well understood proves the point that it’s heavy in the zeitgeist. We have been taught that success is about plodding on with smart, persistent hard work and as you continually endure and overcome setbacks, you make your long march towards progress.

  • Work nine to five in an office and keep building up the experience and skills to earn that next promotion.
  • Study for your exams, learn formulae, answer practice questions under exam conditions and then you’ll eventually pass.
  • Hit the gym four times a week, do your reps, slightly increased the weight each time, and your body with grow strong and ripped.
  • Hit the streets three times a week for your 10 + 10 + 20 daygame sets and after enough grinding the lays come through.

But is this actually how we progress?

I don’t think so. Now, I don’t want to take the opposite end of that caricature and recommend the “lottery ticket” strategy or fatalistic Magical Thinking. There’s undoubtedly value in grim determination and persistence – even talents like Floyd Mayweather Jnr will put the hours into bagwork and jump rope. It’s a necessary condition but not a sufficient one. Real progress often comes down to two steps:

  1. Recognising a rare opportunity
  2. Jumping on it

[You could add an earlier step of “making your opportunities” too but that’s what targeted grindwork is meant to create]

Much of success comes down to smart decisions taken at key moments, when the combination of hard work and lucky fate throw up a bifurcation point. How many football games have been won and lost because one player spotted an opening, made the run, and was in the right place when the ball ricocheted off the crossbar? How many boxing matches have been won not due to a steady build up of jabs and body shots but by trapping the opponent into walking onto that one home-run left hook? How many battles have been won not due to steady attrition and tactics but by one innovation or one general’s courageous decision taken on the field of battle?

Me coaching by osmosis, yesterday

Me coaching by osmosis, yesterday

Most of the women you see on the street are not going to fuck you. Just not going to happen. They don’t fancy you, or they are taken, or they are in the wrong mood, or they are against meeting strangers, or everything works out great and then logistics intervene. Failure is the natural persistent state of Game. Players are really looking out for two things in a girl:

  1. She’s available
  2. She’s into you

Some guys have such high SMV and their ping range so wide that (2) is frequently satisfied. However blog readers are well aware I have no interest in looks-matched age-matched “game”. Even the David Gandys of this world have a narrow pool of available/into-you from which to draw if they are red-lining it towards the upper limit of their quality ceiling. Aiming high forces scarcity onto everybody.

So how does this relate to daygame strategy?

In poker you will lose almost every hand. You’ll fold most hands at the very first deal because your two cards simply aren’t any good to pursue. Even if you bet to reach the Flop, you’ll fold most flops. That’s the smart strategy because it costs chips to play a hand. If you’re always trying to get involved, you’ll just burn through your stack. An aspiring poker player must control his urge to play everything.

Compare this to a typical office, factory or service job. In those roles you have a linear relationship to each task. Maybe you process passport applications – you begin the day with a stack of them and then work through steadily, each taking approximately the same time and mental energy. Each incrementally earning that paycheck. Maybe you install widgets in an appliance assembly line – again it’s steady even work that steadily earns your paycheck. Same with serving diners or checking in hotel guests. It’s the tortoise steadily moving towards the finish line. Slow and steady wins the race.

Poker players do not incrementally increase their winnings. It’s feast or famine. There are a tiny number of hands where you can win big so you must identify them and play them perfectly. You lose often, so make sure you lose small. You win rarely, so you’d better win big and scoop a fat pot. A key skill in poker is to keep your losses small so that you still have enough of a stack to play the rare good hands correctly.

Daygame is poker. Almost every girl is a No, but every now and then you’ll meet a girl who is available and into you. That’s when you bring your stack into play.

It doesn’t really matter if you’re fucking 1-in-20 opens or 1-in-100. The important point is that even with fantastically (I’d say suspiciously) good ratios like 1-in-20 you’re dealing with the reality of 19/20 (95%) of opens being a road to nowhere. You need to identify these No’s early so you don’t whittle down your Vibe Stack on idates-to-nowhere, text-hell, and time-waster-dates. That’s the daygame equivalent of betting too long on a losing hand. Just like you can only bring so many chips to a poker game, you only have so much enthusiasm for daygame and it will eventually wear out and require time-off to replenish.

The whole time you are looking to identify that rare set that could win the entire pot. That’s a real skill. That’s how daygame is played at the strategic level.

This is why you should never spam approach. That’s like a poker player on tilt. A spammer is a blind idiot who bets every hand without checking his cards, running the maths, or watching his opponent’s betting behaviour. He’s not really playing poker at all, he’s doing a mechanical empty caricature of it with none of the craft. He’s pissing away all his chips on hopeless hands until his stack is gone. Even the most aspy nerd incurs emotional costs in daygaming and by spamming he is massively increasing the amount of failure.

The RSD school of "bet all-in every single hand"

The RSD school of “bet all-in every single hand” daygame

This isn’t the “every failure takes you a step closer to success” where you judiciously choose your sets and learn from them. This is more like “every failure takes you closer to a meltdown and giving up the game entirely”. When you give in to the temptation to spam you are switching off your brain and losing the ability to read signals. The sets just blur into one another as if they are more widgets or more passport applications. True art is not made by throwing paint at the canvas and no football team wins a World Cup by shooting every single time they get the ball.

You need to go out and you frequently need to grind, but don’t ever think that x number of sets will lead to y number of results. Sets are not widgets. Grinding just means you are sitting at the poker table, putting in your ante, and waiting until you get a hand worth playing. That’s when you really turn the game on, like the hare turning on a burst of speed.

27 Comments

  1. God’s honest truth, and no mistake. The only time slowly grinding away is guaranteed to work is if you’re the grindstone – if you’re the house. It’s how slot machines work, after all, straight up mathematical grinding. If you’re not the house, you have to be willing and able to both wait patiently and change speed ferociously.

    Every time someone mentions that fable to me, it is is the same context as described in the post, of slow and steady winning the race. I always point out that slow and steady only wins if fast and steady doesn’t show up.

  2. Good post man really enjoyed that one.

  3. Krauser how would you consider Goodlooking losers “‘screening”, he also emphazizes that game is a numbers game and doesnt seem to emphazize how you interact with a girl in THE set. [GLL style is designed to get laid fast with age-matched looks-matched girls. There’s more to him than that, but that’s the priority. Thus it’s mostly about looks-maxing and then screening. That probably works very well in the US for younger guys who are above average looks, so if that hat fits, wear it. My style is all about YHT and in Europe. Looks+Screening simply doesn’t get you far in that scenario. K.]

    • >> That probably works very well in the US

      Being from the US, I’m curious about this. What do you think makes the USA different from Europe in this regard?

  4. Fantastic post man. Completely accurate in my experience.

    That’s why I get pissed when my 6ft 2 model looking friend goes up to girls at least 2 points below him, chats for a little while then proceeds to walk with her and either fucks her that night or sets up a day 2. THAT IS NOT GAME FOR GOD’S SAKE.

    There are completely different levels to this thing and as an average guy going up to younger, hotter girls you have to be waaaaay more methodical in your approach and time management. But it’s tough cause you still have to put in the approaches (far more than a better looking, taller, jacked guy) without it crushing your vibe so that when you do find an interested girl you don’t blow it.

    And to get to that level where hot girls are even interested you have to make sure the fundamentals are as good as they possibly can be or it’s over before it’s began.

    Listening to guys like GLL and others who I won’t mention as they’re your buddies is utterly pointless, and if truth be told don’t have to do 10% of what an average guy faces eg flaking, not super keen to meet, emotional turmoil etc etc etc

  5. I’d also add the changes an average guy has to make eg pinpointing looks, body language, behavioural quirks etc can be a full time job in itself. [If you want YHT, that’s how it has to be. K.]

  6. Really good article.
    What do you think, dickheads, and Berba why doing spam approaching? They can’t see its totally non-effective?

    • Spam approaching is like playing the slot machines in a casino. It’s fun and you get a buzz off it but you never win.

  7. Is it only spamming if you’re not reading the signals after the approach / chasing girls that clearly aren’t interested? That is to say it’s not spamming to just approach every girl I fancy so long as I’m reading her reactions post-approach and not hounding after something that isn’t going anywhere? [Spamming is like porn. You know it when you see it. It’s not merely high-volume approaching, it carries and fosters a different mindset that is destructive. K.]

    • So what exactly is the ‘mindset’ behind spam approaching? Can you give us a more workable definition?

      • From my own experience, a spam-approacher begins to act and sound like a frustrated salesman who can’t convert any leads. Pretty much everyone has met one of these, and we all know they are failures because of the aura of beggary they have. I think the same applies to Daygame.

    • There’s only one complain I have with GLL game, which otherwise is fine: if you’re not careful, it can foster spam-approach mindset and habits. I spent some months following GLL to the letter, but once I realized I was merely approaching to meet daily or weekly quotas without being aware of every set, I started approaching much less.

      Not surprisingly, only at that point, and not before, I actually started to fuck girls.

      On the other hand, one can even throw an argument in favour of spam-approaching, if the daygamer is a total beginner and needs lots of exposure therapy to destroy his AA. Specially true, if he’s going out on his own. [I think 100 spam approaches in two weeks is enough to get the ball rolling. After that the beginner should pay attention to the craft. K.]

      • I don’t think a beginner should ever spam approach as it will lead to horrible experiences which could scar individuals who probably already have some trauma and social issues leading to a potential melt down … instead I think better to approach indirectly and play comfort and rapport game initially … this probably will lead to negligable sex, but at least you are developing the back end of the street stop and developing important social skills, after 50 to 200 sets like this move to more direct game with some intent … otherwise it will be like jumping in a swimming pool of ice water, the shock could stop the heart. This is the path several good daygamers have used and I can say from personal experience it works .. what’s the point of a baptism of fire which could hobble and cripple a newbie. This isn’t an African tribe which practises fear inducing initiation rites to prove ones manhood! [Some people want the pain – they are attracted to the aeceticism rather than the pussy. I think a guy with low SMV or poor social skills should start indirect and non-sexual just to develop as you said, while spending lots of time in the gym and reading proper masculine fiction. As his SMV rises, he’ll have a base to build on for going sexual. K.]

  8. Good explanation of the reality of the game.

  9. The biggest contribution to increasing the chance of getting laid is what you do BEFORE the sets not during the sets, you go to a place with good logistics, get good fashion, good looks, straighten inner game,THEN open girls, the open/escalation part of game is a smaller contribution to getting laid then what you do BEFORE the opens/escalations but you still HAVE TO do the opens/escalations to get laid, the Opens/escalations is the icing on the cake but most of the cake is not made out of the icing

  10. You discussed not wasting time on the 95% of sets which go nowhere in that example above which I agree with wholeheartedly but how on earth do you work out which girls are going to be timewasters if they actually agree to come out by text after a number close? I would love to know because unfortunately as my game has become more adept girls who are unavailable (in their own mind) are still showing up to dates for the ride before telling me they have a long term boyfriend (recently a fiancé) or whatever as I assume they want a taste of the Zatara experience! While this is somewhat flattering, its wasting an awful lot of my time and frankly I have better things to do (including writing lengthy diatribes on your blog). Can you fill out the details of what the signs are that she’s a time waster? Obviously we don’t want to throw out the baby with the bathwater (the 8/10+ who will put out after 2/3 dates being the baby in this instance). [I’ve spent much of past year honing this into a system. I may write about it sometime. K.]

    • Yes! I have this problem also…

      PS. Reading this post for some reason the question popped into my head ‘With this blog, who are you talking to, Krauser?’ Your products are much more obvious with their respective target audiences, just wondering who you have in mind when you write on here. No reason in particular. [A couple of years ago some guy doing a blog round up said words to the effect of “Krauser’s blog is not easy to get into at first as he rarely mentions anything twice and never gives round-up or intro posts. He’s writing for existing long-time readers”. K.]

      • Krauser likes to believe there is a very sophisticated audience for this sort of thing out there {somewhere} … its just nobody has ever actually met any of them LoL

    • ok as long as you don’t try and charge me for this down the line 😉

    • WE NEED THIS, PLEASE WRITE ABOUT IT K. THANKS BRAH, YOU DA MAAN.

    • I measure it by how much shit she gives me without making any attempts to leave whilst slowly warming to me. In London I find you come across a super ON girl every now and again who has just finished traveling or something and is still in that strong-hook-point-in-thirty- seconds-friendly-phase. Be careful as it’s just false positives. I guess spotting this is a skill in itself.

  11. There’s a difference between spam approaching and grinding in my opinion. Spam approaching would be opening 10 girls in an hour, or literally every girl you see that’s a 6 or above whereas grinding would be going out and doing long sessions where you open lots of girls cumulatively over a relatively long period, maybe as many as 30 girls over 8-10 hours. If you’re grinding you’re maybe only opening 3-4 girls and hour but you keep after it doggedly.

    I often was lyrical to my wings about some of the long grinds I did last year that ended up getting me laid, the Spanish TV actress I met at the end of an 8 hour grind as I did DE2 (2nd german girl of the year), if I hadn’t stayed out grinding I wouldn’t have gotten those lays.

    The thing about grinding, if you want to be successful at it, is you’ve got to be able to manage your vibe and some people simply can’t do that over a lengthy period. Realistically you’ve got to be enjoying the process, getting decent reactions even if they end in a no and to have a pretty thick skin. Personally I’ve worked in a cold calling sales job for 10 years so I’m used to rejection. Good weather also helps massively, it’s much easier to grind out 8 hours of daygame in 25 degree sun with lots to shoot at than in 5 degree chill and fruitless streets.

    Going back to the poker analogy; to be good at poker yes you have to play your good hands well but you also have to be prepared to sit at the table for hours waiting for them to come up.

    Grinding can definitely get you laid with YHT if you’ve got the stomach for it, if not you’re better off keeping your sessions to 3-4 hours.

  12. still the Volume of approaches is much more important then how you interact with any one girl in any one set. Volume of approaches+Looks+Pre open factors forms the biggest part of getting laid, its better to check the NUMBER of approaches you did as opposed to how you interacted with the girls, you still screening,screening out the No girls, what the difference with GLL?

  13. This is really a good post. Strange how lately I was having exactly the same thought about game being recognizing opportunities and jumping on them. I’m mostly a nightgamer (had a notch from it with a girl 18years younger than me last week) and the principle can equally applies. I might go to a club and stand two hours at the bar by myself not doing a single approach, then the next night I’d pull. Gotta say I arrived to this level after 3 full years of it. And that’s also why I prefer going solo to a club, so I don’t have to deal with a buddy who pushes me to approach everything or to join him in poor sets. [Congrats on your YHT pull. K.]

  14. Micki straightening “innergame” is learnt through experiencing the ups and many downs of game. You can’t plan for something like that.
    The other stuff yes, absolutely agree.

  15. This is why I go out consistently as possible. Hey Nick random but when you banged that russian catwalk model in 2011 you said she was the hottest girl you banged. My question is how did you have the courage to move on. When a normal looking guy (a six) gets into daygame and meets and dates a girl 2 points better looking and couple years younger than him and bangs her its hard to just walk away. This ties with your latest posts as tchumps treat beautful women as conquests, whereas a normal man without the demons thinks “hang on”. It’s the toughest part of game in my opinion. I know Tom spoke about this too. [That gets discussion in Balls Deep. Short version is: I agonised for a while and finally decided I wanted more girls rather than one good one now. K.]

  16. Why not just both spam approach and learn as much as you can each set?

    (Besides, approaching a girl 0.5sec after getting blown out always gives the girl a jealous, shocked expression and thus, reminds you, even in this context, that you are indeed high value and thereby fuel up your momentum)

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