I’m still beavering away on my soon-to-be-released new memoir. That means much of my creative energy for the “player’s life” writing is channeled into the book rather than the blog. Nonetheless I’ve had a pretty good five-day trip in Prague that just ended early this morning. Let’s recap how that went down.

Friday
I shuffle bleary-eyed out of Vaclav Havel airport and onto the 119 bus, a light drizzle greeting me. My usual landlady is waiting at her apartment building by Palladium mall in central Prague and she checks me in to a new place. It’s nice. Perfect location, nice lounge, good solid bed and most important of all…. a hot shower. I venture out for coffee and soon meet up with one of Prague’s resident daygamers. It’s still a bit nippy so I’m wearing my thermal under the t-shirt and a cardigan and leather jacket over it. We hit the streets. Mentally I’m fine but just lacking enthusiasm. The first few sets are quick blowouts.

It’s getting on the 6pm and my eighth set when I finally get a solid hook point from a girl who doesn’t have a boyfriend. Tall, blonde, twenty-year old Russian student. Spider sense is triggering so I take her to the patio cafe on the nearby Theatre. She settles in well and joins me for a beer at Chateau Rouge. Halfway through the drink it seems really on – she’s eye sparkling, gazing at my lips, allowing the kino. With smooth self-confidence I draw her in for a kiss.

“Come here” I beckon. She moves her face closer to mine.

“Closer” I command, and she comes closer still. I go for the kiss.

She suddenly short-circuits and pulls away. Denied. I try to salvage it with more comfort and a walk around the Old Town but she’s decided I’m not good for her. She wanders off without leaving her number. I wouldn’t call it four hours wasted – not with such a delightful girl – but it was most definitely frustrating.

Saturday
The sun has got it’s hat on and I’m coming out to play. A couple of Danish guys are in town doing daygame and a couple of travellers recognise me too and introduce themselves. All told, five different people stop me on the narrow strip from Palladium to New Yorker. I press on with my daygame and it’s going okay. Unfortunately I’m having bad luck – there’s always a boyfriend or husband or immediate flight home. I run diagnostics on the quality of my street game and I know it’s fine. Just need to keep plodding on. I’m very much focused on picking sets carefully, avoiding any blind opens. So all in I probably only do ten sets for the day. Mostly I’m enjoying the walk and watching with satisfaction as my pedometer app clicks off the kilometres.

Night cuts in around 8pm and I stop a cute Russian blonde on her way to a party. She’s visiting from Moscow to compete in an event and is now joining her team for an afterparty. They leave early the next morning. I try to get her to fuck off the party but no joy. So I street kiss close her. Haven’t done that in a while *

She takes her leave and I walk off with a smile. Less than fifteen metres and one minute later I stop a hot Russian student with flowing blonde hair. She’s keen and joins me for an idate. Unfortunately the clock is ticking because I’m meeting a Long Game virgin at 10pm. So I escalate the Russian a little in the bar and take her number. Then I rush to New Yorker to meet my evening date. The virgin stays over and wants to fuck. Unfortunately I just can’t get my dick in. It’s rather frustrating. I fall asleep.

Sunday
We try to fuck again in the morning but it’s just not possible – she’s too tight and sensitive. She goes off to study and I sleep in until 2pm. I wake up disorientated, knowing I have a first date at 3pm with a girl commuting in from her tiny Czech village. She was a number from my previous trip here. Village girl is on time and looking nice – a twenty year old. We have coffee at the same terrace cafe and a beer at the same Chateau Rouge. She’s only got two hours until her train home so I rush a bit trying to get her into my apartment. She refuses. So I walk her to a church and kiss close in the grounds then send her home.

Next is a date with the catwalk model I fucked on my previous trip. She’s been rather difficult to deal with over WhatsApp while I was back in Newcastle. My read is that she fancies me a lot but thinks I’m bad for her. She’s probably right. We go for a beer at a nice beatnik bar. She spends the first hour being difficult, breaking rapport, and acting like she’s friendzoning me. She spends the next hour with her tongue down my throat before rushing off to a house party.

I’m a little perturbed. That’s three hot twenty year olds I kissed today and no sex. I do a rage-open, my only set of the day, on a brunette standing outside McDonalds. Strangely she’s also twenty. She comes on an idate to Battalion bar where she tells me she used to do webcam masturbation for money. It’s going well until I ask:

“What do you like about me?”

“Nothing at all. You’re not my type” she says.

All of the sexual tension disappears and I realise she was just a time waster. I let her leave then I buy a Burger King milkshake and go home. It feels like Prague doesn’t want me to get laid.

Monday
I’m out solo for a while, deciding I should up my game a little. I still can’t find the right vibe or the right girls. One set goes great with a hot young blonde but then her brother comes over to cock-block. About seven sets in I’m thinking it’s just one of those bad days. Then I catch an IOI of a brunette and do a set that absolutely crackles with sexual tension. She’s looking at my lips constantly and I’m certain I could’ve kissed her there and then. But that would be dumb, so I take the number. I considered the idate but she said she’s going to meet friends.

For the first time all day my vibe is good and as I’m explaining something to my wing, I clap my hands in emphasis. A sultry brunette walking alongside me starts at the clap and glances my way. That’s my opener. After five minutes she says: “Are you going somewhere? We could walk a bit?”

We end up in Battalion bar again having a late-afternoon beer. Again the clock is ticking because I have a dinner date lined up with a regular for 8pm. So I have an hour to work and it’s going good. I figure the questions game is a quick way to move things along.

“Tell me a secret about you” I ask.

“I am a porn star” she says.

Oh.

As we finish our drinks she pipes up, “would you like to snort something with me tonight?”

We agree to meet at 11pm and I rush off to eat pasta at my regular’s house. I fuck her, shower, then rush back into central Prague to meet the porno girl. She’s on time and I walk her straight home. It’s a bit weird at first, she says “I’m only buying one bottle of beer, because I’m leaving in thirty minutes” but as soon as the coke is opened the mood seems to improve. I’m not telling you all the details. It’s enough to know I didn’t sleep a wink all night and I had an awful lot of sex with her. Including while watching her videos on the internet. That memory is likely to remain seared into my brain for years.

Tuesday
I’m an empty shell of a man all day. I stumble around, can’t eat, and just struggle with one hell of a comedown. I’m getting all philosophical, telling myself that I’m pretty sure that notches no longer motivate me, maybe I’ve fucked enough women, and video games look awfully appealing right now. Finally I go home and watch YouTube videos of 1980s pop songs all night. I need to be up early for my flight.

Lest you think this is my usual pattern, I’ll tell you now this was a rather volatile jaunt. Usually I get more steady results at each stage of the game, rather than this kind of feast-or-famine. Nonetheless, I’m pleased. Average age of girls I’ve notched this year is 20.5 which is exactly half my age. I doubt I’ll keep the average that low as the year progresses.

* Because it’s stupid flash game