A month ago I’m out doing Sunday daygame with Bodi. We’ve both been in hibernation and not pushing it hard. London has been hit with excessive rain and flooding lately and the cold weather has been just slightly past the point where daygame is fun. So I’ve been catching up on my PS3 gaming and finalising my book.

It’s nice to keep my hand in, so I went out for a weekend and rustled up some new leads. Most of the time I was hanging onto one of Tom’s bootcamps just for the entertainment of it. I felt like I ought to see some beginners to remind myself what it’s like and get a bit of empathy for when I start marketing my book. I got a few sets in.

First was a gorgeous Siberian girl. Fresh off the boat, in London for three weeks and really into me. We text for about a week and she always has another plan. Madame Tussauds, Bath, Lion King and the London Eye. Momentum dies and we never have the first date.

That same day I’m walking past the Apple store on Regent Street when I see a squirrely tourist amble past with the rucksack-jeans-converse combo of vulnerability. She hooks strong, telling me she’s from Argentina and here for three weeks doing an art internship. She’s super-keen and does come out for the first date. As I push her into the taxi she tells me “I can’t have sex. I’m on my period. I don’t want you to be disappointed”. So I extract anyway, get the blowjob and four days later take her virginity.

At 5pm Bodi has a date with some Austrian girl who insists on bringing a Brazilian friend from her English school. Bodi asks me to take one for the team so I join him. Brazilian is ok, a bubbly high six but she has a shitty feminist-lite attitude, quite common in Brazilian girls. Bodi leads us all to a tea shop and works the set. Unfortunately he’s wigged out and I’m inadvertantly value-tapping him because he talks too much and my attempts to be silent to let him lead just end up positioning me as the cool aloof guy.

The Austrian really fancies me. She’s giving me the eye spazz and probably wants fucking. By the end of the tea the Brazilian has gone from giggly and excited to bored and cock-blocking, dragging the Austrian off to a dinner party. Stupid bitch. As we say goodbye Austrian gives me a long sexual look. Fuck.

So Bodi and I hit a Sam Smith’s pub for a half and a debrief. It’s quite easy to pick out the areas for improvement so Bodi leaves in higher spirits. We are crossing Regent Street when I just happen to see a DNA-tug girl ambling along by herself. It’s 7pm and quite dark, a sexual time of the evening. I instinctively open.

Almost identical body

“You’re Brazilian”

That’s it. I’m encroaching her distance, she’s eye spazzing and giggling. This girl is a stunner. I later find out she’s a TV news girl. 23 year old SMV-prime. She arrived a few days earlier and is studying English three weeks. I walk her off on an idate, seeing Bodi shuffle off tail between his legs.

The idate goes well. All the usual stuff. We actually go back to the same table at the same pub I was in with Bodi. The glass collector hasn’t been so our empty glasses are still there. That’s how quickly things can change direction in daygame. I run all the usual Venue One material then walk her to the next door blues bar to escalate. We’re standing watching the live music and the vibe is great – she’s completely in the Love Bubble. All the kino hits and she’s letting me move her around but she won’t put herself into a kissable position. Verbal is going great and we are soon talking about sexual histories and fantasies. Two hours have passed and I walk her to a dark secluded Spanish bar. She refused the kiss and I let her go.

Five days pass. She’s at Madame Tussauds, Bath, Lion King and London Eye. Finally I get the Day 2. It’s similar stuff. An English pub where we get the sexual tension going and then a dark wine bar where she’s clearly ready to kiss and puts herself into position. So I take it. The vibe gets increasingly hot and sexual. She’s really into it. So I pull the trigger.

Outside Liberty department store a taxi comes and I push her in. At first she’s up for it but as we pull away the jitters hit and I can feel it coming unstuck. We get back out the cab at Marble Arch on her insistence. I figure I can pull her into another bar to rebuild momentum but everywhere is shut. Fuck. She uses that opportunity to derail the train and insist on getting the tube home. I push her up against a shop window and choke her, kiss her, pull her hair. Then I have to let her go.

You’d think it was on

Another five days pass. She’s at another round of tourist sites then tells me she wants to see Greenwich. We have a delightful daytrip on the Clipper boat, the museum, the observatory and then walk through the tunnel under the river. She’s all over me again but just won’t extract. On the Central Line back into town we’re standing in the vestibule with me locked in against the glass partition and her doing the full-body press against me. And she insists on going back home alone.

That’s the last I see her. More tourist sites, more bitching about the rain and staying home then she flies back to Brazil. I mention my frustration to Tom. This is a solid nine in the prime of her SMV, famous on TV in her region. Exactly me type. She fancies the fuck out of me. And yet she just doesn’t want to fuck.

“You can’t compete with the London Eye, mate. Tourists are all the same. The whole city is shiny for them. It can be a nightmare getting them out.”