The journey is the destination

November 11, 2013

I recently likened the Player’s Journey to a tiger raised in captivity being released from his cage into the wild. When an animal is raised in a zoo a routine and structure is imposed upon it by the zookeeper which removes risk such as through regular feeding (starvation risk) and controlled lodgings (exposure and predation risk) while also severely constraining the normal development of the animal. The animal’s socialisation is retarded. The tiger doesn’t get to roam the wilds, engage with it’s fellows, absorb the sights, sounds and fauna of it’s natural habitat. It’s a house cat. It reminds me of a quote I heard on a boxing telecast twenty years ago. To paraphrase:

There’s no such thing as a good boxer I don’t know about. To get good you must fight good opposition and if you’re fighting those guys, I’ll have heard about you.

The idea that there’s a talented well-developed fighter hidden Kung-Fu Panda-like deep inside an unknown prodigy is ridiculous. It’s the very process of building a career against diverse progressively stiffer opposition that creates the fighter. Without the process, there is no fighter. The journey can’t be skipped. The zoo-bound tiger is denied that process of growth and then suddenly released into the wild without the seasoning to compete. Freedom combined with skills is liberating. Freedom without skills is terrifying.

The Saturday Sarge

The Saturday Sarge

Prisoners and long-term hospital patients can suffer from institutionalisation. Humanity’s greatest evolutionary advantage is our ability to adapt to new environments and modify our behaviours, thoughts and emotions to fit in. This becomes dysfunctional in periods of lifestyle upheaval as we clutch at lifelines of the old routine. The daily grind of an institution, be it prison, an LTR or the office, conditions us with certain expectations, partitions off other potential thoughts and behaviours and puts us into a comfortable well-worn rut. The normal pattern of modern social life functions precisely this way because modern city life is atomising. If you spend your whole live aboard the Blue Pill Express you have no control over the destination. Your life is merely passing each station in turn until the end of the line. Work, relationships, entertainment, socialising…. it’s easy to passively accept the artificially narrow bounds upon which society has mapped out your life and to surrender decision-making.

This is why I call the Player’s Journey an emotional rollercoaster – you break out of the zoo. A chode’s life is constrained by social conventions and office routine. Usually his day is planned quite literally to the minute.

  • 7:00 – Alarm goes off.
  • 7:10 – Put on coffee pot, eat Quakers Porridge with semi-skimmed milk
  • 7:20 – Shower
  • 7:35 – Open closet, pull out shirt, suit, shoes in that order. Hang them on back of door-frame.

I’ll stop there. Most people’s lives are extremely routinised. It’s efficient and psychologically comforting. There’s a spot for the long term girlfriend in that safe routine and by following social conventions we are deluding ourselves we have escaped the rigours of the sexual marketplace. Just because you ignore a risk, doesn’t mean the environment isn’t risky. Routine is a buffer.

Destination: 7 lifetime lays

Destination: 7 lifetime lays

So you step out of your gilded cage and into the wilds of Game. What happens then?

You realise your whole life is your responsibility. The zoo-keeper isn’t feeding you or temperature-controlling your cage. It’s all on you now. Sex is something you have to go out and get. The nature of the relationship is for you to determine. Pretty quickly you realise girls are only part of the picture. Everything else is yours to determine:

  • your fashion
  • your body
  • your work path
  • you friends

Your life is a project to be managed not a series of orders to follow. Your happiness is your own responsibility. It’s both liberating and a psychological burden. Like the tiger released into the wild you must catch-up and learn all those coping strategies that you should’ve learned as a cub. You can only learn by doing.

It’s the very process of following the Player’s Journey, with its myriad highs and lows, that builds character. Adversity makes the man.

You must go out and live the life. This is why you can’t hide yourself behind internet forums and manosphere chatter. You can’t just buy some cool clothes and VIP tickets. You can’t just inject TRT/HGH and call it confidence. You can’t just reality-weave yourself to strong inner-game. Unless you’ve actually gone out and done the real work the house is built on sand. Your ego will push you back into the gilded cage. Be ready for it. It’s a natural response to the extreme emotional duress that Game places you under. Common traps include:

  • Lionise a long term relationship with a “quality woman” and announce your exit from the Game. Fall back into the feminine imperative’s frame and assume all the old chode-risks while telling yourself you have “won”.
  • Delusional ramblings about having become alpha / self-actualised, above the mere minions around you.
  • Disappear into “value-building” hobbies that require no compliance from the world but give the illusion of moving forwards.

All three of the above are both buffers to patch up a delusional reality and ease away from the psychological rigours of the Game, and also (in rare cases) potentially pleasant end-states for men who have actually arrived there at the end of the rainbow. You really have to know the man to know which it is. Usually it’s a buffer. The lady doth protest too much.

You’ll become a better man by enduring the hardships, the introspection, the identity change and forming the mindsets and habits to cope in the Wild. It’s tough. You must learn your lessons the hard way. The temptation to return to your gilded cage will be strong.


  1. I thought social circle game would be enough to practice the whole daygame model. To some extent it works – being comfortable around beautiful girls, teasing, body language, conversation skills, reading signals etc, but being on the street is actually the advantage as the real loss if it doesn’t go well is non-existent plus the approach is really cold, while in a social circle you have to be very careful to carve your identity without PUA flavor and be much more under the radar. Plus, even if it’s large, you’ll filter for girls you like, and there may be 10, some in a commited relationships etc. so the risk of Oneitis 2.0 exists if there are only 5 girls or so you consider…

  2. Pingback: Understanding Semantics | welcometothelifestyle

  3. Firstly I’m an English girl.’ve read quite a few of your blog posts. And I agree in some ways with what you say such as the fact that the majority of English girl drink too much and often don’t care oh they look ( I would hope that I was an excepting as I don’t drink etc…). But I was wondering, don’t you ever wish that you could (one day) just settle down, get married and have a family, or is it naive of me to think that is also what men want?

    • Its a case of growth over comfort. What is easy and conventional is usually not very healthy for you.

    • I’m sorry for my spelling my keyboard is dodgy.

    • Some Men want to get married but unfortunately they are not the Men you want as a female. The confident, alpha, successful, socially free Men you want are banging the hotties in they’re late teens early 20’s…. Why would they want to settle down and get married? It’s of little use.

      • Right, I just wanna say I’m not a 30+ whore “, I’m 19 and I’ve been with one person okay? I was just wondering if one day a man would get sick of this and want to settle down and have a family with a decent girl not a 30+whore. And you all act as though you can’t have a decent job and still sleep with loads of women from different countries, we’ll my uncle has a job in which he works 2/3days a week, earns 150k and he travels all over the world with it. ( I wouldn’t know if he sleeps with a lot of women but I would presume its possible) and he has a wife and children. it seems as if you are putting all your efforts into sleeping with a lot of women when you don’t seem to realise there is more to life than that. [I’ll answer your original question. Monogamy/marriage as an end-goal is natural for women and unnatural for men. Men sacrifice to enter and remain in marriage. For women it’s the big prize. Most men who marry do so because the idea of not marrying just doesn’t seem real. They do what is expected. Low value men marry to try to lock in sex and companionship because they fear loneliness, which was probably an ever-present threat through long dry spells. Try reading Rollo Tomassi. He writes alot about these ideas. K.]

    • No Rachel

      What you don’t understand is that High Value Men will simply refuse to marry a girl who slutted up her twenties fucking a million guys and getting drunk like a slob in public

      High Value Men – guys who are good looking, high IQ, make a lot of money, and have accomplishments that will truly make you gasp in admiration – the kinds of guys you and other girls daydream about marrying – will simply OPT OUT

      Compared to an 8 -10 girl in looks, a true Alpha/Sigma is like a 25+ on that same scale (Delusion Damage)

      The Sholom mainstream media has bamboozled you into thinking that some random girl is much more valuable than any guy – that guys will hang around and put up with your shit and then ” settle down when you are ready

      Wrong. The highest value men are more valuable than even the highest value women. I’m glad you asked this question . You are a rare, smart girl and the fact you are reading this blog will do wonders in becoming the beautiful, feminine girl hot guys want

    • It’s a good question. He mentions, I believe in (this interview)[] that he’ll eventually probably settle down and have kids. I haven’t seen other mention of this thought though. I think it’s a good question. Particularly because he also mentions in his earlier posts that his real goal is to get a high quality girlfriend (or at least achieve the skill to get one).

  4. This is one of the most interesting posts you’ve written, really thoughtful stuff thanks

  5. My brother recently got separated from his long-time wife of more than a dozen years and doesn’t get it. He drove 3 hours to hang out with a girl he refers to as his “special friend” and her parents on a weekend. He was puzzled by my suggestion he stop wasting his time, find someone younger, hotter and tighter and start to understand how not to be an AFC. Each day in my own journey I spot a mistake, a behavior or something that needs adjustment not just in female interaction but in other parts of my life. Saying “sorry” for no reason is one example. Why do I still do that?

  6. Krauser, I would like to recommend Squat Every Day by Matt Perryman. ( Excellent book about our beliefs on life, training, recovery and Apolonian vs Dionysian thinking. The message strongly reminds yours here.

  7. The blog owner talks about hardships, emotional rollercoaster etc. But by the sounds of things he is a ‘natural’. A natural in the sense that, this is a guy took to it like duck to water. No AA, sexual hang ups and other difficulties. Would it be correct to say Keauser is the rare 1% for whom all of this is a piece of piss? [I suggest you read posts from 2009 to disabuse you of this notion. K.]

    • Krauser has worked hard over a period of years to get where he is today. Sure he had certain beneficial traits, but nothing outrageous. It all seems natural because it has become natural. It’s like looking at a professional musician and how easy it seems for them to play their instrument, but you never see or think about the hours and years of practice to get that way.

  8. Your life is just as pointless as the office chode. There is no end to what you’re doing. What’s the purpose? So that you can say you were good with women when you’re old? No one will give a shit. The office chode jockeys for a promotion you jockey for a lay. This ideology of self improvement is a mask to veil the fact that you’re not doing anything. Except postponing your true purpose and waiting to die in the meantime.

    • Indeed. Makes you wonder just what the ‘End Game’ is exactly. To keep going until you are too old to get an erection, or to die prematurely from some horrible venereal disease?

    • If I could shag as many good looking young women as him Id be overjoyed.The purpose is enjoyment, sex is good, ya? Young attractive women are good, ya? He’ll have plenty of good stories that he can tell others when he’s older. I love how how shagging lots of horny good looking women is somehow an ignoble cause. What should he be doing? Presumably getting pegged every other day by a nagging housewife who puts a stone a year on? Working a 50 hour office week, getting ball breaked by some boss who’s boss ball breaks him? Your a sap mate lol.

      • Learning Game does not mean you have to imitate Nick, his views, and lifestyle – as great as it may appear. Be your own man.

      • Who said anything about imitating, I’m not even attempting to be him. I cant see whats so problematic about thinking a guy who shags good looking women on a regular basis is winning. Where did you get this “imitation” thing from? Its just an observation. If I say Nadal is a great tennis player does that make me an arse licker?

    • Commenter Why asks an important question

      I’m not speaking for Krauser, but he would say that the usual path of office job is pointless. Read his Red Pill post below. He buys into Aaron Clarey and Enjoy the Decline. The white picket fence respectability to Krauser is unattainable in his mind due to the economic world we live in today

      It’s an interesting question Why asks:

      Is 10 seconds of orgasm with a girl the same return on investment as that

      Same Time and energy put into either making and having $500,000.00 in the bank and the return on that – or – enjoying and raising a family

      Krauser would respond that Monogamy is unnatural (it is) , that he has embraced living in the moment. He has essentially embraced nihilism. It may sound shocking to hear in those terms but this is essentially what it is

      He said in interview he has not ruled out marriage. I asked question about this same general topic but he didn’t give more info at that time [My path gives me the option to opt back in at any time. I have a lucrative corporate profession. I could’ve been married ten times over in the past three years if I’d wanted. K.]

    • It helps to read the title. Would you rather die in the machine doing something you love, or die in the machine having wasted countless hours in a tiny cubicle doing something you hate? It doesn’t matter if nobody gives a shit later, as long as you’re proud of what you’re doing right now.

  9. This post is dangerous, K. After reading it I felt empowered. Then I got roped into a conversation about women with a few dudes.

    They attacked my red-pill truths as “sexist, misogynistic, and…abhorrent.” My fault for bringing up the SMV.

    • Rookie mistake #1 never talk about this shit to the plugged-in masses it’s just a waste of time and as you discovered it blow’s up in your face!


      • Red pill is explained to people, not by logic, argument, evo-psych, whatever. Its by the way you act, and particularly the way you act around women. Red pill truth oozes out of a mans pores, it doesn’t need to come out of his mouth.

    • This is like “Fight Club” first rule of game is not to talk about game. You can, but some of my “blue pill” guy friends just think I’m some kind of anomaly: a misogynist, a playboy or otherwise someone who hasn’t grown up.

      I’ve since stopped. This is more about me getting better and happier. Helping others has to be through forums like this where guys who are genuinely interested in changing their way of life and thinking can share ideas and experiences.

  10. I just arrived in San Francisco. First time in my life being away long-term from the suburban/collegiate insulation of home and school. It’s kind of terrifying, makes me want to just curl up in my room and accept fate as an office drone for the rest of my life. I’m glad you write stuff like this reminding me to push forward.

  11. Nothing useful to add except ‘Great post’. It came along at just the right time to give my new red-pill life a slight course correction.

  12. I actually had an argument with a friend of mine about this very topic earlier this evening. He mentioned the story about Tony Robbins acquiring his black belt in Tae Kwon Do in a mere 6 months.

    It was the very first time I heard that story and instantly highlighted it as pure BS and giving my reasons why –

    Anyone can learn the skill sets to achieve competence at an endeavour, but when it comes to experience. There is simply no short cuts. Mr Robbins may have got his black belt in 6 months, but put him up against a seasoned grandmaster with 30+ years experience, and he would get eaten for breakfast.

    On the same token, no reputable school will ever grant anyone a black belt until they’ve proven their worth on the mat. BJJ being a good example of this. It all boils down to experience and your ability to perform live with other opponents.

    I could relate to this with my own experience having progressed in a year in 2006 from beginner to an assistant instructor after training my ass off 6 days a week. And yet I simply couldn’t hold my own when it came to the more experienced students. They were further along the road than I was.

    No amount of ‘belief’ or ‘fire walking’ that Tony lives by could ever compensate for experience. And this applies to everything be it Game, Martial Arts and other professional sport.

    I think it’s in every man’s interest to live their life ‘in the wild’. We’re designed for the hard graft, for wear and tear and to return with bruises and scars, often empty handed, but ready for the battle the next day.

    Anything less than that and you’re essentially moving backwards.

  13. I dont mind the rat race i.e waking up at 7am and heading off to work. It’s not so bad!
    I love my job, the industry is great and it challenges me in all directions.
    it’s like nintendo for my brain. I’m aware that they are periods of cycles
    where I’m faced with challenges and hate my boss. but that is life. I deal with it then and now.

    I look at my work role as a team player, yeap. I have to be ready during business core hours.
    But I dont have to worry about creditors or chasing up my customers. I just focus on my thang 🙂

    Isolation is a problem when you leave the rat race, and that’s where the social skills come in to existance.
    i.e at work, it’s adult day care, work christmas party, muffty day. You can make it party central.

    One things for sure, lifestyle/work plays an important part in anyone’s dating life.
    You can forget daygame if you’re rostered in the graveyard shift.

    On a side note, It was interesting to hear the well worn path of how the journey begins.

    most guys who enter this journey are either divorced or virgins. They all say the old cliche story of
    how their friend gave them a copy of the game and how changed their lives.

    it makes me laugh a bit. that wasnt the real catalyst.

    “Lionise a long term relationship with a “quality woman” and announce your exit from the Game.”

    it clearly put’s everything in prospective, when you see a popular pua getting married.
    previously, their seminars boasting on “get any girl” or displaying hot model’s in their advertising .

    but when they walk to the altar with their bride, she aint nothing special. Infact, usually less than average. Ahh yes, I would have assumed earlier that these guru’s would be off on their honeymoon with Miss Veneuzula on their bootcamp funded holiday.

    It makes perfect sense now, the HB scaling is based on inner beauty.

    As for end game, we are suppose to procreate.

    The journey in game is to develop the skills so that we dont get pussy whipped into submission and find the right woman. Not the wrong woman with mental problems, then again any women over the age of 30 has problems.

    It’s that simple I think,

    As for my journey in life, I tweak which path I take daily, my current plan is to use what David Sh*de’s teaches to pick the right women with double d under the age of 26, pilfer the techniques krauser/Uncle Tom share and condition my mind using what VK teaches.while learning to play the guitar on rocksmith on xbox 🙂

    simple plan with a milestone at the end.

    thanks for the post as always.

    Domingo Chavez

    • “As for end game, we are suppose to procreate. The journey in game is to develop the skills so that we dont get pussy whipped into submission and find the right woman.”


  14. Great post mate.

    As Brian Tracy says “No one is coming to the rescue, the moment you take 100% resposibility for your life you graduate into adulthood”

    The Saturday Sarge pic! LOL

  15. It’s just so WEIRD to see a girl commenting here. You read these blogs and after a while forget they are publicly accessible to women as well.

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