Failure stories #3 – The African minx

November 13, 2013

I’m walking along sunny Oxford Street in July with Bodi, my mind on video games and specifically whether I should get Dead Space 3 now or wait until I’ve completed Crysis 3 first. It’s a tough choice. One constant in my life is wanting more. I get a buzz from buying a new game and booting it up, familiarising myself to new controls and new eye candy in the visual design. Usually the novelty wears off about three hours in and I get into the zone where the controller merges seamlessly with my hands, the TV screen no longer seperates me from the game world and I’m now fully immersed in the game. This flow state is immensely rewarding. Usually by the 50% complete mark (for a typical AAA game that’s about seven hours in) I get restless. I’m so far in that I’m compelled to complete the game (I hate to leave anything unfinished in life) but the enjoyment is subject to diminishing returns due to overfamiliarity. Thus the constant tension between completing games I’m >50% through (Crysis 3) or buying a new one for the novelty buzz (Dead Space 3). Add in series loyalty from me having completed all previous games in both franchises and then reviews saying Dead Space 3 is a staggering twenty hours long – double normal AAA games – and I’m torn.

Such are the things which torment me.

Real beauty, better than any Russian model

Real beauty, better than any Russian model

Smarter readers will have distilled from this preamble the tension I have in Game. I want the buzz of new girls but I also enjoy the progressively deeper attachments with girls I like. It’s a constant tension. So while thinking about video games I look behind us and see a hot African girl walking along. She’s a little minx with big wide eyes, great curves, slim and dressed in an unexpected chic 60s Paris style. I double take and open. My vibe is great. She sounds smart and classy so within ten minutes we’ve hit it off well and I take a number. Texting is precise, so on-point from both of us that I use sections for my new book’s Text Game chapter. We meet a few days later.

It’s an excellent date. We have tea then move on to a couple of pubs. She’s delightful company and full of confidence in her femininity. I’ve realised the differences between British black, American black and African black girls are like an abyss. Put crudely:

  • British black: Insufferable princesses full of false bravado and hollow aggressive sexuality. Hot black women immediately ditch their own race and try to date rich white professional guys.
  • American black: I have little experience of these. They appear to be thick as shit and talk like drunken sailors. The few I’ve met professionally in the banking industry are basically men with braided hair. Think Condeleeza Rice.
  • African black: Very nice cultured manner and speech patterns, pretty good education and a traditional vibe. I like them alot.

Does this make me racisss? Don’t care. Perhaps it’s just a self-selected sample because I’m never in the ghetto and I avoid the girls with vulgar street fashion. Who knows, who cares. This girl was nice.

So in the third venue I decide I need to be escalating. All the attraction and rapport has gone well. She’s a graduate student from a nice neighbourhood in Ghana and she’s constantly hammering me with the “I’m a good girl. No sex before marriage” story – which I don’t believe for a moment. African girls always give you that spiel. I move in to kiss. She rebuffs a few times then the barriers are down. I’m still thinking this one will move slowly so at about 10pm we’re leaving the last venue and I’m going to drop her off home (she lives very centrally).

Add 5kg

Add 5kg

As we walk along the back alley by Revolution bar in Soho I push her against a wall and make-out. She’s way hornier than I expected and the hindbrain is very excited. She’s gasping, moaning, grabbing me. I put her hand on my dick and she’s rubbing it hard. This girl is gagging for it. So I walk her all the way to her front door and try to get inside. She’s holding me off on the pavement desperately trying to regain forebrain control. I get her into the hallway and there’s more frantic making out. Then we’re upstairs inside her apartment but unfortunately she shares with two flatmates so it’s not a done deal. More making out and the forebrain shutters keep slamming down. She’s genuinely torn between a raging horniness for fucking and a sensible good girl forebrain control. I get a real No and we’re back in the hallway making out again. She’s rubbing my dick so I try to get my hands down her pants for skin-on-skin. I’ll happily fuck her there and then, it’s reasonably private. The moment she feels the skin-on-skin she shuts down. I have to bid her adieur.

Next week is Day 3 and it’s the same again. A civilised date, she asks me to walk her home and the forebrain shuts down again while we’re in her hallway with her hand on my dick. It’s achingly close. The contrast between her good girl vibe and sudden wanton abandon is extreme. By Day 4 I decide I need to try a different tack – probably she needs more comfort – so we just have tea and walk through the park. I don’t escalate beyond light kissing. I’m hopeful and then outside intervention busts it all.

I have a few foreign trips, she has family visiting, and we go three weeks without meeting. I sense distraction in her texts. She’s not engaged to the same level but I get her to meet me near my house and after a couple of drinks we are on my sofa. I still sense reticence on her part but different to earlier. On the first few dates she was free to fuck but decided to slow down, this time I sense she’s conflicted by outside forces. I push anyway. She’s topless with her ample breasts in my mouth, straddling me and grinding on my dick but she’s reticent to touch it with her hands and resists all efforts to unburden her of her jeans. She tells me she’s not comfortable having sex today. Perhaps she’s on the rag.

How bizarre

How bizarre

Another week of indifferent texts follow then she invites me out for a coffee. That’s when I get the Speech. Her ex-boyfriend has asked if they can make it official again with proper monogamous dating. She knows I just want a casual fling so she’ll take the surer bet. I don’t have a counter-offer of monogamy, telling her instead that I like her and if she’s single again to look me up. Next day her whatsapp profile photo is updated to show her with the guy. Typical good-looking professionally-competent African nice guy. They seem a good match.

The Ghana flag must wait. I think I played it as well as I could but the real world conspired against me.


  1. K – this is a theory on my part: but your constant thirst for “more” , the tension in the Game, could be the following

    Like me you are SX dominant in the Enneagram scale. Naranjo called this the Sexual Instinct, or more broadly the instinct for what he called Syntony

    I looked into this whole subject to understand myself better. It is a few things. Obviously there is a pronounced sexual appetite that other men who are not SX dominant do not have.

    But also it is a peculiar drive towards power, conquering, and competition.

    The other two human instincts are SP – Self Preservation and SO- Social. One of these is secondary, the other, depending on who you are, is minimal so as to be not very important

    So, for me, I feel this restless wanderlust always for “More”. But also to ditch everything I am doing, all my commitments and obligations as a man in the blue pill world, and go get “More”

    There is a constant tension I feel. It makes for interesting times as a man

    Napoleon Hill in “Think and Grow Rich” had a chapter on the Sexual Urge in Great Men. Hill believed that the great engines of history all had pronounced sexual natures they sublimated into pursuing women, but also into great acconplishments. In a sense they “fucked the world” in a good way, they put their stamp on it

    I’ve come to the conclusion that what Hill identified was this dominant SX instinct in great men. A genetic roll of the dice you are lucky to be born with, if you can harness it in the right way, manage it, without letting it consume you

    You can tell the SX dominant man by a few features: the love of women, the predilection towards womanizing, the instinct to “feast” on life, the urge to compete and conquer and win

  2. Half of all black women in the US have herpes. That flag may come at a high price.

  3. Krauser,

    Bottom of my heart brother, thanks for sharing with us your journey, experiences, and wisdom in the Game. You’re a significant contributor to the community. You’ve been one of the top Game blogs I check daily for updates. I’ve been meaning to express gratitude for your blog for awhile now, but I’ve been busy with life and haven’t had the opportunity.

    Used to think you were a racist prick but after some of your disclaimer posts, those of us who are rational and logical understand where your views come from. Although we may disagree, we know where your thought process originates. You may write this blog out of personal ego gratification or to genuinely improve men’s lives. Regardless of intention, thanks to the Internet and your blog, it has significantly shed my learning curve and potential mistakes in Game.

    From your Foundations post to the Accumulation phase post, it provides an excellent road map for men to adhere to. Can’t begin to tell you the epiphanies and, most importantly, the deep relief I felt from reading your lay reports. Anything from banging a girl and having her give you radio silence for weeks on end before the successful lay, having an amazing set and instadate to weeks of radio silence, a set expressing clear intentions and interest in you to disappearing from your life the next day, all the way to a set with a boyfriend but confusing you by giving you all the signals she wants to bang. The lay reports and those experiences you have are endless.

    I express this gratitude because I used to think that all these Game situations I’ve been in were all failures on my part and I have a habit of getting extremely hard on myself for failing those sets. Your blog shared with me that its the ‘forebrain hindbrain’ phenomenon and whats going on in the girls life that played a role in the failed set, and not necessarily anything to fault with me.

    We tend to take take take from the community but never give. Just expressing my gratitude. [Thanks fella, I appreciate it. I much prefer these comments to sending haters into the spam bin. K.]

    • Seems as good a time as any to add a +1 to this. Well articulated comment. I agree with the lot of it. Been reading here a long time but rarely comment. Feel like such a leech at times. Make no mistake about it however, as insightful as this blog is, i’m very much coming to appreciate just how important taking action is too. I’m just as guilty as i suspect many readers here are of voyeurism and living vicariously through bloggers suck a Krauser, Tom Torero (another guy i respect greatly), Roosh, and even many of the RSD guys.

      I know Krauser has preeched before on the importance of taking action and i think it can’t be stated enough. As quite an extreme natually introverted guy this can be a struggle. Every day i try to expand my comfort zone just a little more than the day before though. It’s a fight that is waged daily with yourself and your own excuses to not take action. It is good to retreat to corners of the internet such as this however to find solid guidance at the end of the day.

      Looking forward to the book dude. The 3 R’s and Krauser have always been the heavyweight titans of the manosphere for me. [Thanks fella. I think some preening is in order 🙂 K.]

  4. Nick, I love your posts. If it wasn’t for guys like you out there sharing their experiences I’m not sure if I would be half-inspired the way I am now. You are a like flashing a light for everyone behind you! Cheers! [Thanks. K.]

  5. In the US, black girls generally fall into three categories. Ghetto dwellers who only speak ebonics, hardcore christians and educated middle/upper class girls. The ones behind door number three are very pleasant company.

  6. Great post. Thanks for the honesty. I think sometimes we think that knowing game gives us a “sure thing” or a level of invincibility. But in actual fact it is a set of tools that increase our probabilities by boosting our confidence. You showed a very human side in this post. I often wonder during slip ups and dry spells whether I’m losing it, becoming unfocused etc. I learn a lot from your posts that keeps me going in the direction I want.

  7. I’m enjoying these failure stories mate. Thanks

  8. Pingback: Mia | Il Risorgimento

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