I won’t compromise my integrity as a man in order to get a girl into my bed. When I first got into Game I was living in scarcity and just getting laid was the order of the day. As time went on it became easy to let principles slide, tell a few white lies, and try to weasel into a girl’s knickers. I found that as I reached greater abundance with women this didn’t sit right with me. I’d never been comfortable in the Dark Side but I’d learned to revel in the seediness of it. Eventually the cognitive dissonance between who I wanted to be and how I chose to live were just too far apart. Something had to give. At around that time I was dating a girl I really liked and had met two more good girls who I really liked.
The easiest way out of the Dark Side is to develop affection for a girl you genuinely like. I started to pull out…. and then two of them found my blog, including their own lay reports. I was in the tricky situation of explaining who I was and what I was up to. You can imagine they were a little surprised, and none too keen to have their photos online.
So I told them. I went into detail about my life as a dating coach, my journey from the low point of my divorce to rebuilding myself into the man I wanted to be. I explained how my teaching method involves discovering your core identity and then conveying it effectively to the girl, without hiding anything. How my students were often good men who were broken in some way or had their heads stuffed full of odious fem-centric conditioning and I was helping them straighten out, develop confidence and poise, learn how to lead and manage women – I was putting more charming confident men into the world for women to choose from, and encouraging them to relate openly and honestly.
It seems obvious now, but at the time I was surprised by how positively the girls responded to my explanations. They became supportive and hungry to know more, quite rightly realising that the flip side of learning to be a man who can attract beautiful women is learning to be a woman who can attract and keep high value men. It was around this time I really started to absorb Skeletor’s lesson about Game being a win-win proposition for both men and women rather than a value-taking scam to grab more than you have earned.
When you are confident in your identity, comfortable with your life choices, and proud of what you do…. you feel bulletproof. You know you can walk up to a top-rank woman of beauty and poise and fully expect her to like you. My friend Steve calls it the “twelve cornerstones” of masculinity and ranks honesty near the top of the list. Why should you give a fuck about “my friend Steve”? Well…. because that’s him in the video and just look how open he is and how agreeable the girl is to him in full awareness of his lifestyle.
Dark Side doesn’t get you girls of that calibre and it doesn’t get win-win life enriching relationships with them. For that you need to build up a strong identity and a code of personal honour.
June 22, 2012 at 2:18 pm
You and Justin Wayne’s most recent posts are very similar. I guess great minds think alike.
You can see him actually talking to his girlfriends about game and pickup. I personally think that It is interesting. I will have to try implementing this.
June 24, 2012 at 8:24 pm
Justin Wayne is a fraud and a clown. Its pretty obvious the women in his videos are prostitutes or actors. Don’t support a guy like that.
February 13, 2017 at 2:12 am
Wayne looks like the real deal to me. Having been a major Krause fan, would break my heart if I find out your one of those last century – what did they used to be called? Ah yes – racists. Learned about them in the history books. Throwbacks, a less evolved sub-human sort of human. Doomed to an old age as a pariah, to go the way of the Dodobird. Heard those rumors around the pua web. Nah, couldn’t be. Not the Krauser. Didn’t think so. My world view is intact. Phew!
June 25, 2012 at 5:12 pm
Man this guy’s spamming is relentless. [I’m allowing this comment from him because it’s thematically related to my post. But my antenna is now up. Thank Roosh. K.]
June 22, 2012 at 6:39 pm
I look at not telling as not lying. What is lying anyways if we break it down? sociatal disaproval against a negotiating tactic. All this ethics social mumbo jumbo is simply bs to control your ‘world view’… [Precisely the attitude which will keep quality women from your reach. K.]
June 24, 2012 at 11:24 pm
I’ve just updated my own blog with this post – where I explain more about honesty (to yourself and others) and why I see it as one of the key cornerstone characteristics. Reposting it below:
I say being honest with yourself because building up a strong identity – i.e. knowing who you are, being centered, happy in your own skin – relies on taking a good long hard look at yourself and working out what behaviours you exhibit around women that let you down. This is key to moving forward and developping the kind of rock solid identity that women find appealing. I always viewed learning “game” as similar to putting yourself under a microscope and, armed with the knowledge you aquire through reading and going out to talk to women, you can then get to work on eradicating these undesirable characteristics. But this relies on the ability to be strong enough to face hard truths about yourself. You can’t rely on friends to tell you this stuff, and most of them probably wouldn’t know undesirable behaviours anyway (unless it’s something obvious like getting pissed all the time, or getting angry etc etc). Often longstanding friends have an ulterior motive to keep you from changing too.
Being honest with others is similar. Firstly I mean the sort of bold honesty – about expressing your desires (sexual and other) to a woman, something most men just do not do (think of the nice guy syndrome – the guy who hangs around attractive women, “befriends” them, ready to leap into action at the first available opportunity, shouting “SURPRISE, I HAVE A DICK!!”…Just get it out there in the open!
I met this girl in Topshop, on Oxford Street, in Central London. I approached her and as she says was bold and confident and told her several times that I am not interested in being her friend – I am interested in her as a woman. I wanted her. I believe you can only attract (and keep) high quality, high self esteem women by being through and through rock solid in your identity, honest and upfront about your intentions.
Why would you want to be any other way?
June 23, 2012 at 4:19 am
Yup, I do.
June 23, 2012 at 11:09 pm
Very true. In fact, more than that. You being confident enough to tell exactly what you do, how and WHY will also support your confidence and will present to the girl that you have a rock-solid personality and do not care about if she rejects that. Because she won’t. Because your lifestyle at this point is already social proof enough to rank you high-value. It is a self-reflecting cycle.
June 24, 2012 at 8:22 pm
I dont think there is anything intrinsically attractive about honesty in itself. Because being honest is in practice correlated with being open and straightforward (like what K assumes), it could even work against you – being too open and straightforward may detract from your “mysteriousness”. So in that sense honesty could be a bad thing.
I like it though, and I like honesty whether or not it makes me attractive or unattractive. I hope thats the paradigm shift K is starting to make or has made – making personal choices without regard to ones own attractiveness.
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June 24, 2012 at 9:52 pm
Hey Kraus,I nominated you and Justin Wayne as 2 of my top 10 PUA instructors of 2012.
June 24, 2012 at 9:54 pm
It never made sense to me as to why guy hide their schtiks as being Gamers.
I’ve never NOT told an HB I’d picked up that I’m a PUA.
Irony is:they are always intrigued opposed to turned off lol!
June 25, 2012 at 3:14 pm
thanks, looking forward to blitzing Zagreb.
June 26, 2012 at 8:54 pm
I was helping them straighten out, develop confidence and poise, learn how to lead and manage women – I was putting more charming confident men into the world for women to choose from, and encouraging them to relate openly and honestly.
Now this is just brilliant framing.
I recall an episode of Dr. Phil where women were calling game a fraud. He turned it around by saying it’s giving them more attractive men (and says women were just as fraudulent with learning how to apply makeup, but that’s a separate point altogether).
Last [type]: The Root of Your Dating Issues
June 27, 2012 at 12:55 am
Sorry for the OT post, but I need some help.
Similar problem with two different girls. Girl1 works at my local library. Girl2 works at a local Barnes&Noble bookstore (yeah, I like to read). G1 has a plain face, but an ass that I want to do unspeakable things to. G2 is very pretty with long legs and an ass that I want to do unspeakable things to. Both have noticed me. Both have started wearing sexy clothes in anticipation of seeing me – I’m a regular at both places. But I find the “logistics” all wrong. It’s very hard approaching either of them. G1 won’t look directly at me, and it’s so blinking quiet in the library that trying out cheesy pick up lines or otherwise getting all sexual on her ass is very difficult. G2 is more unpredictable to spot. Doesn’t have regular hours apparently (she may be a fill in). I usually see her when I’m in my easy chair reading a book and she walks by to go to the ladies room or the break room. She works the cash register and I never buy anything (broke as hell). Neither place is a club-like environment, nor even a street, day-game type of enviro. What is the best way of approaching these girls? I’ve done a little club- and street-approaching but I’m finding it especially difficult to approach in these two places. Any advice for me? [Generally, stop focusing on only two girls that haven’t even spoken to you, much less dated you. It’ll hurt your frame. That said, this is the type of environment that Roosh’s DayBang is suitable for: a low investment, low risk opener to test the waters. If they respond well, turn it up. K.]
June 28, 2012 at 12:57 am
June 28, 2012 at 8:13 am
Are you heading out to ZigZag with JJ? [Not quite. He is joining MY gang in ZZ. K.]
July 2, 2012 at 7:54 am
nice reframe, I’ve heard Robusto is joining your party now too, good job, another mind to pick
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July 4, 2012 at 10:52 am
of course i do. i let them read the blog as i chat them up. they head straight to “female ejaculation” and grin from ear to ear.
June 29, 2014 at 10:58 pm
So here’s a not-so-hypothetical situation: If, during a day game sarge, the girl asks, “So what are you doing in London?” (when you actually live and work an hour’s journey away) the honest answer would be, “To pick up girls.”
Does anyone actually give such an answer?
June 29, 2014 at 11:33 pm
A few minutes thought gives me the answer: Who cares if anyone else gives such an answer? That’s the answer I’ll have to give, or one essentially the same. I’ll explain that I have a flexible work schedule and I budget one full weekday a week to do this.
June 29, 2014 at 11:45 pm
say you’re there to have fun
if asked more, say a couple random things (bars, walk around) and close (and hit on girls like you)
then she’ll ask what kind of girl do you think he is
say she’s the kind of girl you like
she’ll want to know more
say you’ll tell her more when you know more
bottom line, anything she asks, its never about the information or the words, she doesnt care, she doesnt need to know specifics, whatever she asks this is what she wants to know, this is the real set of questions: what kind of man are you? are you good enough for her? is she good enough for you? whats your emotional vibe? can she use you for sex, relationships, anything? and your response for all these questions has to be conveyed, hinted, teased, demonstrated, rather than verbally, directly expressed. she has to figure it out on her own. and your job is to figure out if she’s fun, if she’s worth your time.
it isnt an interview. convey who you are. enjoy yourself while you talk to her. your purpose is to stimulate her sexually.
June 30, 2014 at 2:06 pm
It occurs to me that softening with an indirect and playful response is the way to go. Suppose that one has opened with a complimentary observation (her walk), has established her nationality (French) and made a playful tease (looks like a hamster) then one might respond “I’m here to meet French hamsters with a nice walk..”
June 29, 2014 at 11:45 pm
*then she’ll ask what kind of girl do you think SHE is