Generally speaking I have a low opinion of online game. It is designed to fail. The only girls who would use it are those who are too old/ugly or too busy (=career woman= masculine= unattractive) to pick up guys face to face. The only men online are those too scared to overcome approach anxiety. Thus online game is just low value men spamming the inboxes of low value women, making out their entitlement complexes. Not for me.

Then look at how sites like Match and eHarmony are marketed. They are flagrantly positioned as “find a sucker” for over-30s women to get married off. Thus my conclusion that online game is a waste of time, like trawling through a sea of sewage in search of an occasional zircon. Why bother when I can just see a girl on the street and get her.

Over the past six months I’ve watched Burto and Tony T mercilessly invade dating sites and string together an unending ho train of ready, willing, and most importantly fuckable girls. They’ve cracked the code. So my ears perked up. Then Jimmy jumped in and found an entertaining way to get these girls – troll the fuck out of them and then turn the anger response into attraction. That’s fun.

So I’m giving online game another chance, as of today. I’m gonna pick the brains of T-bone, B-bone and J-bone to figure out a style that works for me. My profile is up and it’s heavy on the playful douchbag, qualifying girls from the first sentence. Here’s the mails I sent out today. Results (or lack of them) should come through in the next two days.

Girl One – Pinky has a short playful profile presenting herself as a cute fun girl who wants a fun guy with kind eyes she can swim in.
Subject: Your hair scares my dog
Message: Nice colour, but really. When Bodger walked past my laptop he yelped and hit in his basket.

Girl Two – Asian has “activity” photos and a few smiley ones. She’s a bit dull and talks about her favourite tv shows and travel destinations. She doesn’t say it, but looks like an office girl.
Subject: Your profile is masculine
Message: Skydiving, travelling and stuff. Maybe if you’d put up a few photos of you baking a nice cake, and maybe wearing a cute summer dress, somebody would look and think “she’d make a good little wife”

Girl Three – Black has put alot of effort into her profile to describe her hobbies. She comes off as a feisty charity worker who wants to be a bit quirky. Likeable but a bit full of it.
Subject: You lost me at “RSPCA”
Message: We have pretty much nothing in common. I dislike hip hop, amateur dramatic, and prodnose charities. That said, being a man, I liked your photos so I thought I’d force myself to read past the first paragraph. Just in case there was some gold to be found in your character traits.  Not sure. You’re a marmite girl – you’ll inspire love or hate and not much inbetween.

Girl Four – Brown has one sentence describing the type of guy she wants and one photo that doesn’t even show her full face. Entitlement is written all over her.
Subject: Honestly, that’s all you have?
Message: You’re asking alot for a girl who has one badly-cropped photo and a half-arsed About Me section. I spent two hours writing my profile, filling it with subtle wit and screening questions. Then I carefully went through my photos to present a well-balanced introduction to who I am.  Your sheer audacity intrigues me. But my attraction-o-meter is barely registering.

Girl Five – Bitchy has an annoying photo but her profile is actually nice and sweet.
Subject: You look bitchy
Message: Your photo intrigued me for all the wrong reasons (for you). Such a “look at me, I’m the princess” pout I thought: this profile is gonna be funny, let’s see how much self-delusion can be squeezed into a single About Me section. But no, you seem like a normal, down to earth girl. Except Dan Brown – ugh!

I’ve left the messages exactly as written, so if the girls are smart enough to google the text they’ll find this page and see what I’m up to. I messaged another four girls. I might do a second post.