We are now operating under my rules

November 1, 2012
krauserpua

One of the higher-level skills in pickup and any ensuing relationship is frame control. For the most part men don’t fully sense the dynamics at play and thus don’t know there’s a tug of war going on…. this leads to losing the battle by not turning up for the fight. Writ large in society the Feminine Imperative has snatched the frame such that most men so thoroughly identify with femcentric values that their loss of frame permuates every fibre of their being from career choice, capital accumulation to relationship conduct.

  • Are you studying hard at university so you can get a well-paid job in order to accumulate the wealth to buy a nice house and a fast car, so that the women will come? You’ve lost the frame.
  • Are you feeling guilty because you are attracted to twenty-year old women for casual sex rather than 30+ women for exclusive monogamous LTRs leading to marriage? You’ve lost the frame.

“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” Even Scarface lost the frame. You do not exist to serve female goals. If you can’t see this, head on over to Rollo for a crash course. For now, I’ll consider frame control purely on the interpersonal level in dating using some recent examples:

provider

Belorussian

The lay report here goes into detail about the frame war we had before she finally broke. A few other anecdotes from once we were regularly fucking….

  • Bhodi comes into my room one evening to ask me something. The scene that confronts him is Belorussian standing against my window with a glass of wine against her chest and a look of smouldering sexual desire and frustration. I’m on the bed with a grin on my face and an Xbox controller in my hand, playing Dark Souls. Belorussian is confused and horny, unable to figure out why I’m not jumping her.
  • In my lounge I’m lazily draped over a sofa, eating some pate on bread. Belorussian is flitting around the room, asking Steve about his website (god help her, she doesn’t know how long he can talk about his google adwords, site layout, click throughs and so on!) and seeing what Robusto is cooking. The whole time I’m just eating my pate. Finally I call her over and she drapes herself around me.

This girl has her playbook and its utterly ineffectual. The strategies she uses on beta males come up short on a man who doesn’t put her on a pedestal, doesn’t fear losing her, and most importantly is wise to her game. Frustration aside she likes this. She wants to lose the frame so she can bask in the glory of submission. In conversation she has explicitly said this is why she likes me more than every other guy she ever met. I’m the one she can’t control so she was drawn in, tried to maintain distance as she continued to fight for the frame, and then finally surrendered and came chasing my cock.

I usually do a split down the centre

Serb

This girl is twenty years old, tall and leggy, with a beautiful face. I rate her as a high 8 on account that she still carries some puppy fat but she’ll immediately become a 9 when that’s boiled off. All through my first date with her she was holding herself back, letting silences develop, walking off slightly to see if I’d follow. It continued on the second date when we had a five hour walk around Belgrade. Some examples:

  • Crossing the road ahead of me. My response was to lightly pull her back and playfully admonish “I think you forget who is the man” or “You may be wearing trousers but you don’t wear the trousers”. She’d smile and obey.
  • As we approached a tram stop she stopped several yards before it and perched up against the railing. I continued walking to the stop and perched up at a much more suitable position. She remained where she was for a few minutes then came over and joined me
  • Walking along the riverside she frequently walked ahead of me (I’d stop to feign interest in something till she came back or waited for me), wandered off to one side to look at something (I’d keep to my line) and in one case when we passed a child’s play area I sat on a swing and she took a while coming to join me (I told her to sit down then I pushed her on the swing till she was whooping and laughing.

This girl has already fashioned a playbook of ploys that get men dancing to her tune. I could feel the pressure of discomfort. She was creating a gap that I was supposed to fall into. See how she describes it later on Skype as I ask her what she likes in a man’s eyes:

Her: talk to mee      I LIKE TO LISTEN YOU

Me: REALLY?

Her: yeah

Me: It must be my accent. I sound like Prince Harry      or Hugh Grant      or the Queen

Her: green      shining eyes     or how you call it

Me: describe it please

Her: ask me?

Me: don’t worry if your language sounds awkward. I’ll try to understand the underlying meaning

Her: I am not used to it When man is watching me I decide what next is going to happened

Me: What you will do next, or what he will do next?

Her: he because I have power over him or how you say it but that is not happening with you you’re the lead role and that is making me crazy

Me: I am impressed that you can explicitly acknowledge this about yourself please continue your explanation

Her: And you don’t give up     why are you doing it?

Me: give up what?

Her: let me do things with my pritty eyes and you pretend to be like every other man

Me: so you want me to change myself, and become one of those men you can easily control?

Her: I won’t do that always! promise! just kidding    be yourself     But I feel with you as you love to have me under control in some way and i am not used to it

Me: how does it make you feel, apart from “going crazy”?

Her: Like you are taking away my freedom (not so serious ), no one has such an influence on me this is not well written don’t get me wrong :)

Me: I think I understand so you feel different with me than the other guys you know, and you feel more in my power, and it creates unexpected feelings inside you? take your time, it’s fine ;)

Her: you are the first who did not give up in front of me :D I mean, in the end I’m the leader always.. with you is a little more difficult.. no, it’s impossible but that is not bad you’re becoming moore and more interesting to me it’s because i can’t turn you in my way

Me: You like it that you can’t control me. You like pushing against my character, to feel it’s strength. It frustrates you, but it gives you a feeling of existential safety

Her: well , I don’t like it very much it’s a little disappointment to me

Me: why a disappointment?

Her: I can’t control you like I used to do [wth other men]

Me: So when did you realise I was different? Obviously in the beginning you were overwhelmed by my good looks and sharp fashion…

Her: When you told me that I’m not fashion designer :D [My standard tease early in a set, when I try to guess her job / study I look her up and down and say "Not fashion, obviously"] LOOK AT HIM.. HE KNOWS in some other case I could change somebody’s mind in 5 minutes

Me: Sometimes I watch boys when they meet women, and they just kiss her ass it seems so…… unmanly I feel sorry for the girl I think “she wants a man, not a scared little boy who falls over easily”

Her: you think it about me or generaly?

Me: All girls want approximately the same things, but with some variation for taste and style I think that because you needed to be quite independent from a young age, and because you are tall, you find it quite easy to control men       lower the camera so I can see your breasts better       lower

Her: because I ‘m tall.. say please

Me: lower camera first

Her: that’s it! that is what I’m talknig about

Me: I know

You’ll see the important of the tease in the early stages of a daygame set. Usually it’s not enought to just show confidence and interest in a girl upon opening, you have to give her a little glimpse of the boundaries you set and your internal strength. Many many times girls have told me they really perked up the first time I teased them. Like a sleeping dog’s ears rising to a distant noise, girls suddenly get the “woah!… this guy is different” response.

English

Here’s a girl I haven’t managed to fuck yet. As with the other two girls she’s twenty, tall, and surrounded by oribiters. A solid 8 who could be a 9 if she does everything right. She’s just come out of a nine month relationship with a guy she moved in with. He bought her the house and doted on her until finally his beta weakness repelled her. I got a play-by-play from beginning to end as it happened so I know this girl really wanted things to work and yet now consider her feelings for him:

Her: [ex-BF] has started calling my ex-stepdad to say how depressed he is without me and lonely. Ew.

Me: What a pussy

Her: I know I am so turned off its gross. I have nightmares sometimes that I’m still with him. Makes my stomach turn

Me: Haha.. Are they like Prometheus where you are carrying a slimy alien baby?

Her: Hahahahaha no I’m just like “I don’t understand why I’m still here”

Me: I wonder if an alien baby is more gross than a wuss’s baby

Her: No. Such a vagine-ugh

Me: Heh. Must be terrifying to think you nearly had beta seed in you. Kinda like how I feel about dodging a false rape claim

Her: Hahahahaahahahaha

Earlier…

Me: I’m on a steak and whiskey diet. I think my balls are getting bigger

Her: Ha that’s so hot

These three girls are interesting because they are very well practiced at controlling men and can explicitly articulate what they feel and why they do it.

27 Comments

  1. Krauser, have you seen the 1995 film Casino? When I saw it at the cinema, I couldn’t understand the attraction that Lester Diamond held for Ginger. She had married a locally-influential millionaire who loved her and gave her everything, but she chose to give his money away to a pimp whom she had no reason to ever spend any time with. I am sure that most people who saw that film shared my bewilderment and perhaps thought that she was mad.

    It’s only through reading manosphere blogs, mainly yours, that I finally get it. There was nothing freaky or unusual about Ginger. It’s the way most women are wired. They just want to be turned on. And desire can’t be bought or negotiated. It must be created. [Agreed. Her character disappoints betas and makes gammas angry at James Woods. It's quite red pill how it ruins everyone involved. K.]

  2. ” [My standard tease early in a set, when I try to guess her job / study I look her up and down and say "Not fashion, obviously"]”

    Nice work Krauser. This is a crazy good neg to use. I live in NYC and look forward to deploying it here.

    A line that works here in NYC for me is guessing where the girl lives. Then no matter if she lives in another borough or just a block away (The closer the better), I say “Yeah what a shame, we’d never work out. I don’t do long distance.”

    Everytime I’ve used it, it turns changes the frame into something sexual and me disqualifying her. The girls eat it up because “Who the F is this guy screening ME out, omg.”. They usually say “Because yeah, xyz is SOO far from you” or they playfully jab me on the shoulder or give some IOIs.

  3. “She wants to lose the frame so she can bask in the glory of submission.”

    perfect

  4. “Many many times girls have told me they really perked up the first time I teased them. Like a sleeping dog’s ears rising to a distant noise, girls suddenly get the “woah!… this guy is different” response.”

    exactly.

  5. Oh for a time machine to go back and apply such insights to some sexy bitches who outmaneuvered me, back in my days of floundering ignorance (okay, two years ago).
    At least now there’s hope for my future (starting tomorrow).
    Thanks again Krauser. Fascinating examples.

    What’s funny for me is to look back at times when I was doing these things effectively without thinking about it; without awareness, understanding, etc.
    Those were probably times when I felt some ambivalence, some indifference, maybe dislike, etc.,
    so I probably did not fully appreciate having her being so eager to please, available, responsive, etc.
    Now I’d say I was not in the best frame of mind then to make the most of the way it was …

  6. The conversation you had with the Serb was brilliant. A polish bird i met in Krakow and had a skype conversation with tried this with me consistently and i simply did what you did and reversed everything back to her.

    The best way to practice this when you’re a beginner is to do ‘The Questions Game’.
    The rules are pretty simple, have two people try and construct a conversation by responding with nothing but questions and can’t answer back with the same question :)

    Pretty hard to do at first as you have to think on your feet, but as you improve, you become more skilled and starts to improve your frame and conversation skills.

    So an example:

    Person 1: This TV show is pretty rubbish isn’t it?
    Person 2: What makes it so rubbish?
    Person 1: Can’t you see what’s wrong with it?
    Person 2: Why do you find it rubbish?
    Person1: Do you seem to like stupid shows?
    Person 2: Don’t you think you’re being over reactive?
    etc.

    The thing you said about the idea that a man needs to get a degree, in order to get a job in order to buy a house to attract women, i’m still fighting with.

    Wouldn’t you say however that we naturally have expectations with women to make us attracted to them as women do to make them attracted to us? [It's a subtle difference in motivation and expectation, I think. I accept that I must build my value so that the product I exchange in the SMP is desired, and thus I can command a high price / hotter woman who has built her value. I don't think that's "falling into the feminine imperative", it's a value exchange. But if you slave away to build a provider's dream that some woman can simply saunter into then I think you're getting overcharged. K.]

    • Cheers Krauser,

      By the way, as the topic is about Frames. I should point out that you used a ‘Frame Extension’ on me which is a concept whereby you add something onto your previous statement in order to create resonance with my views which is excellent for building rapport ;)

      A lot of people think Frame Control is a community term but is actually a Psychological technique. For anyone interested to learn more, i suggest they do a Google search for a guy named Stanley Milgram. [I often refer to his electric shock experiment and Zimbardo's prison experiment to demonstrate the influence of frame and cognitive capture. There's alot of good psychological literature out there. K.]

      Very very powerful stuff when used correctly.

  7. Lol these girls are trying to figure you out like you’re some kind of wonderful impossible enigma. Meanwhile you have a whole fucking script and encyclopedia you’re acting from like a fucking actor playing Hamlet. The image of a man. [Accept you are currently gamma and try to change. K.]

    • Even if what you say is true, what does this say about women? Think about it. Please do not say these women are stupid and all the one you know are smart.

      • It doesn’t say anything good. These women are stupid, and they’ll probably go through a lot of heartache before they wise up. Which is as it should be anyway. Those who don’t learn from others’ mistakes have to learn from their own.

    • The experts in almost every competitive field have a “script”; MMA fighter, jazz guitarist, public speaker, salsa dancer, basketball player, magician… they all have scripts and encyclopedias that they’ve memorized concerning the details of their profession and can reference intuitively and effortlessly. This is why their performances leave clueless onlookers dazzled.

  8. Great stuff Krauser – The Serb chat simply reaffirms everything we already know but it is always so fascinating getting it out of the horses mouth. Credit to her for seeming to be reasonably aware and articulate about the eons old attraction forces working inside her. Beats the usual mumbo jumbo that most girls give.

    On the subject of video chats with foreign birds you are long gaming, do you do voice chat or stick to text chat? Is there a reason for this, other than the slowness of the text medium allowing you to exert full frame control and reduce cockups? [I do both. I haven't yet decided for sure which is best for which circumstance. The Serb is mostly video which text chat at the same time (hence this transcript). Belorussian is always text only. English is mobile phone text messaging only. K.]

  9. One observation: your Serb is just this side of her first Alpha Widow experience. Excellent state and frame control as I’d expect, but I can hardly wait for reports of the fallout from her attachement when you drop or demote her.

    Take notes gentlemen. [This is correct. Not-coincidently you issued a similar warning on the previous Serb, which turned out to be prescient. Hopefully I find the correct balance here. K.]

  10. I was going to leave a positive comment for this blog then saw over on Krauser’s Twitter feed that he’s a racist dumbass.

    So now, I hope get the chance to test your “kickboxing” with my 15+ years of Boxing and BJJ. Won’t be a very fair fight but maybe I’ll just slap some sense into you instead. Oh, and I do live in London “mate”. [Racist how? K.]

    • Your chinaman comment? I do wonder why people get so worked up over anything someone they don’t know on the internet says. To the point of issuing threats. Unresolved issues.

      • He is not racist, he is just being very English in this particular comment. Have a look at “Faulty Towers” to get a clue how a wonderfully irreverential humorous attitude defuses the natural tension that arises from an encounter with strangers. It kills the slimy over-deferential tone that is the norm in such situations. Too subtle for most unfortunately.

  11. “Accept you are currently gamma and try to change. K.”

    Why are you offended? It’s true. [Your language and choice of focus is gamma. Read more Vox Day to see the specific gamma traits. Betas don't burn up with the sense of frustrated entitlement and suppressed white-knighting that you do. It's a specific gamma thing. K.]

  12. Your language and choice of focus is gamma. Read more Vox Day to see the specific gamma traits. Betas don’t burn up with the sense of frustrated entitlement and suppressed white-knighting that you do. It’s a specific gamma thing. K.

    What white knighting? I don’t have a high opinion of these girls, nor do I want to save them from anything, and I’m not sure what you’re referring to by frustrated entitlement. What I object to is the glorification of this shit. You’re a caricature and these idiots eat it up.

  13. @modernguy – Just to help clear up what you’ve said. The community isn’t about hooking up with ‘dumb women’ or ‘getting notches’ to prove to ourselves how manly we are or to cover holes in our ego.

    What it’s really about is understanding what it means to be a man through theoretical and intelligent research, sharing and learning from each others experiences and having a better understanding of what women want.

    I think you have it all mixed up. Women only go with ‘good guys’ in the end simply because they have no other choice. In an ideal world, they would like to have the best of both worlds which explains why most of them cheat.

    Now wouldn’t it be great if there were ‘good men’ out there that had that fine balance in order to make a woman truly fulfilled? (Welcome to the community)

    More than anything, we’re doing women a huge favour because we’re learning to adopt behaviours and characteristics which up to now, only assholes had which we all what ends up happening – A screwed up society containing jilted and bitter single mothers who hate men.

    If i could sum up what the manosphere or the PUA community is about. I would use the following quote – “Be the change you want to see in the world”

    I don’t hate women and actually support them and am only becoming who i am through their responses in my interactions with them. I’m going by what their animal instincts are telling me and am using that to become a better man in the process, for me and for them…

    So i think it’s unfair to judge women badly simply because they’re behaving in ways that are natural to them.

    Instead of denying and tearing down others as to what you think the world should be like.
    Be the person you need to be to become happier.

    No one owes you anything. The only way you’ll see it, is if you take responsibility and make the changes you have to make to see different results.

    • So i think it’s unfair to judge women badly simply because they’re behaving in ways that are natural to them.

      I understand your position but I don’t specifically agree with this line. Acting in a way that’s natural is often unwise. That’s why wisdom is something that’s acquired, either through experience or thought. People who make stupid choices should be judged badly.

      • I think rational thought has got nothing to do with our biological nature. And it’s because of our direct ability to think and rationalise which causes most problems in our species because it opens up the ability to be manipulated and influenced in many ways that is against our nature. Especially us men as we’re more guided by logic.

        If you speak to enough women you’ll agree with my above statement because none of them make rational choices when it comes to the extent of making decisions at finding a mate and are predominantly emotional decisions.

        I get where you’re coming from as i was also in denial for a while until i realised that the more i tried going against nature’s order, the more problems i was experiencing.

        Better to be an Alpha in line with his true nature than a Gamma in denial.

        Learn from it and move on. You will thank yourself for it moving forward

      • “rational thought has got nothing to do with our biological nature.”?

        You’re right in a sense, often it’s directly opposed to it. Apparently your position is anti-thinking and anti-rationality. It’s interesting in a sense, being as it goes against just about all of western thought since the Greeks. You want to shut down your conscious mind so that you can be an “Alpha”. You think that’s justified because women do it, nevermind that they make absolutely awful choices that they often grow to regret later.

        What you don’t understand about Krauser and PUAs who advocate game and the pua lifestyle is not that they are “alphas” acting more in tune with their nature, somehow more free from rational or moral constraints. It’s that they skirt the line between those two and often bridge it with nonsense and bullshit.

        [This is precisely what I mean by gamma. Your response to the world not showering you with pussy is to blame the world and get sanctimonious about the people who adapt to it. This is fuelling your sense of injustice, which leads to a creepy vibe, which repulses girls, which feeds the injustice.... ad infinitum. K.]

      • This is precisely what I mean by gamma. Your response to the world not showering you with pussy is to blame the world and get sanctimonious about the people who adapt to it. This is fuelling your sense of injustice, which leads to a creepy vibe, which repulses girls, which feeds the injustice…. ad infinitum. K.

        I’m not looking for a shower of pussy, wake up man. What you think is “adapting” is just compromise by another word. The world is in the dumpster and you’re telling us all to “adapt” and start chewing on rotten banana peels. Success has made you short sighted.

  14. What about LTRs? To try to put it concisely, I have been for a long time in a drama-filled relationship where the girl responded positively when I pulled these types of alpha moves early on. However, she also keeps blaming me for fighting over power with her. Nowadays, the relationship is long distance. We fight a lot and are often about to break up. Occasionally, she turns disrespectful and insults me to my face and says things she must know I do not like. The alpha moves don’t seem to work any longer, quite the opposite they seem to piss her off and make her see me as weak like I am competing over power in the relationship. Sometimes I even try to give her hints that I am doing it for our mutual benefit. Can they lose their edge over time? I know that the easy answer is that some women are just too difficult by nature, and another possibility is that I am not showing the right balance between alpha and beta (but damn, it shouldn’t be this hard to find, I’ve tried). I wonder if there is any third perspective to looking at this issue.

    [Dump her and find a new one. Blaming, disrespecting, drama.... blah blah blah. She's a stupid cunt. Dump her and make a better job of the next girl. K.]

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  16. This is an excellent post. You are going to the heart of Game here. It seems like you are continuing to get hotter and hotter pussy if you look at the progression on the blog. You intellectually know what to do but calibrating the right mixture in field just takes some time. It will be interesting to see how powerful your pull gets in the next 6 to 12 months and the lessons you can share from
    such

  17. Pingback: Great blog on frame control | Sparroww's Lair

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