One of the higher-level skills in pickup and any ensuing relationship is frame control. For the most part men don’t fully sense the dynamics at play and thus don’t know there’s a tug of war going on…. this leads to losing the battle by not turning up for the fight. Writ large in society the Feminine Imperative has snatched the frame such that most men so thoroughly identify with femcentric values that their loss of frame permuates every fibre of their being from career choice, capital accumulation to relationship conduct.
- Are you studying hard at university so you can get a well-paid job in order to accumulate the wealth to buy a nice house and a fast car, so that the women will come? You’ve lost the frame.
- Are you feeling guilty because you are attracted to twenty-year old women for casual sex rather than 30+ women for exclusive monogamous LTRs leading to marriage? You’ve lost the frame.
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” Even Scarface lost the frame. You do not exist to serve female goals. If you can’t see this, head on over to Rollo for a crash course. For now, I’ll consider frame control purely on the interpersonal level in dating using some recent examples:
The lay report here goes into detail about the frame war we had before she finally broke. A few other anecdotes from once we were regularly fucking….
- Bhodi comes into my room one evening to ask me something. The scene that confronts him is Belorussian standing against my window with a glass of wine against her chest and a look of smouldering sexual desire and frustration. I’m on the bed with a grin on my face and an Xbox controller in my hand, playing Dark Souls. Belorussian is confused and horny, unable to figure out why I’m not jumping her.
- In my lounge I’m lazily draped over a sofa, eating some pate on bread. Belorussian is flitting around the room, asking Steve about his website (god help her, she doesn’t know how long he can talk about his google adwords, site layout, click throughs and so on!) and seeing what Robusto is cooking. The whole time I’m just eating my pate. Finally I call her over and she drapes herself around me.
This girl has her playbook and its utterly ineffectual. The strategies she uses on beta males come up short on a man who doesn’t put her on a pedestal, doesn’t fear losing her, and most importantly is wise to her game. Frustration aside she likes this. She wants to lose the frame so she can bask in the glory of submission. In conversation she has explicitly said this is why she likes me more than every other guy she ever met. I’m the one she can’t control so she was drawn in, tried to maintain distance as she continued to fight for the frame, and then finally surrendered and came chasing my cock.
This girl is twenty years old, tall and leggy, with a beautiful face. I rate her as a high 8 on account that she still carries some puppy fat but she’ll immediately become a 9 when that’s boiled off. All through my first date with her she was holding herself back, letting silences develop, walking off slightly to see if I’d follow. It continued on the second date when we had a five hour walk around Belgrade. Some examples:
- Crossing the road ahead of me. My response was to lightly pull her back and playfully admonish “I think you forget who is the man” or “You may be wearing trousers but you don’t wear the trousers”. She’d smile and obey.
- As we approached a tram stop she stopped several yards before it and perched up against the railing. I continued walking to the stop and perched up at a much more suitable position. She remained where she was for a few minutes then came over and joined me
- Walking along the riverside she frequently walked ahead of me (I’d stop to feign interest in something till she came back or waited for me), wandered off to one side to look at something (I’d keep to my line) and in one case when we passed a child’s play area I sat on a swing and she took a while coming to join me (I told her to sit down then I pushed her on the swing till she was whooping and laughing.
This girl has already fashioned a playbook of ploys that get men dancing to her tune. I could feel the pressure of discomfort. She was creating a gap that I was supposed to fall into. See how she describes it later on Skype as I ask her what she likes in a man’s eyes:
Her: talk to mee I LIKE TO LISTEN YOU
Me: It must be my accent. I sound like Prince Harry or Hugh Grant or the Queen
Her: green shining eyes or how you call it
Me: describe it please
Her: ask me?
Me: don’t worry if your language sounds awkward. I’ll try to understand the underlying meaning
Her: I am not used to it When man is watching me I decide what next is going to happened
Me: What you will do next, or what he will do next?
Her: he because I have power over him or how you say it but that is not happening with you you’re the lead role and that is making me crazy
Me: I am impressed that you can explicitly acknowledge this about yourself please continue your explanation
Her: And you don’t give up why are you doing it?
Me: give up what?
Her: let me do things with my pritty eyes and you pretend to be like every other man
Me: so you want me to change myself, and become one of those men you can easily control?
Her: I won’t do that always! promise! just kidding be yourself But I feel with you as you love to have me under control in some way and i am not used to it
Me: how does it make you feel, apart from “going crazy”?
Her: Like you are taking away my freedom (not so serious ), no one has such an influence on me this is not well written don’t get me wrong 🙂
Me: I think I understand so you feel different with me than the other guys you know, and you feel more in my power, and it creates unexpected feelings inside you? take your time, it’s fine 😉
Her: you are the first who did not give up in front of me 😀 I mean, in the end I’m the leader always.. with you is a little more difficult.. no, it’s impossible but that is not bad you’re becoming moore and more interesting to me it’s because i can’t turn you in my way
Me: You like it that you can’t control me. You like pushing against my character, to feel it’s strength. It frustrates you, but it gives you a feeling of existential safety
Her: well , I don’t like it very much it’s a little disappointment to me
Me: why a disappointment?
Her: I can’t control you like I used to do [wth other men]
Me: So when did you realise I was different? Obviously in the beginning you were overwhelmed by my good looks and sharp fashion…
Her: When you told me that I’m not fashion designer 😀 [My standard tease early in a set, when I try to guess her job / study I look her up and down and say “Not fashion, obviously”] LOOK AT HIM.. HE KNOWS in some other case I could change somebody’s mind in 5 minutes
Me: Sometimes I watch boys when they meet women, and they just kiss her ass it seems so…… unmanly I feel sorry for the girl I think “she wants a man, not a scared little boy who falls over easily”
Her: you think it about me or generaly?
Me: All girls want approximately the same things, but with some variation for taste and style I think that because you needed to be quite independent from a young age, and because you are tall, you find it quite easy to control men lower the camera so I can see your breasts better lower
Her: because I ‘m tall.. say please
Me: lower camera first
Her: that’s it! that is what I’m talknig about
Me: I know
You’ll see the important of the tease in the early stages of a daygame set. Usually it’s not enought to just show confidence and interest in a girl upon opening, you have to give her a little glimpse of the boundaries you set and your internal strength. Many many times girls have told me they really perked up the first time I teased them. Like a sleeping dog’s ears rising to a distant noise, girls suddenly get the “woah!… this guy is different” response.
Here’s a girl I haven’t managed to fuck yet. As with the other two girls she’s twenty, tall, and surrounded by oribiters. A solid 8 who could be a 9 if she does everything right. She’s just come out of a nine month relationship with a guy she moved in with. He bought her the house and doted on her until finally his beta weakness repelled her. I got a play-by-play from beginning to end as it happened so I know this girl really wanted things to work and yet now consider her feelings for him:
Her: [ex-BF] has started calling my ex-stepdad to say how depressed he is without me and lonely. Ew.
Me: What a pussy
Her: I know I am so turned off its gross. I have nightmares sometimes that I’m still with him. Makes my stomach turn
Me: Haha.. Are they like Prometheus where you are carrying a slimy alien baby?
Her: Hahahahaha no I’m just like “I don’t understand why I’m still here”
Me: I wonder if an alien baby is more gross than a wuss’s baby
Her: No. Such a vagine-ugh
Me: Heh. Must be terrifying to think you nearly had beta seed in you. Kinda like how I feel about dodging a false rape claim
Me: I’m on a steak and whiskey diet. I think my balls are getting bigger
Her: Ha that’s so hot
These three girls are interesting because they are very well practiced at controlling men and can explicitly articulate what they feel and why they do it.