I’ve been beavering away on my new book this week – no not volume four of the memoir, that’s finished – and frankly I didn’t feel like blogging. So I let my mind wander to an important question: do I know any solid daygamers, who post regularly about the daygame journey on their own blog, who could write a guest post here that would suit my readers? Unfortunately I don’t*. So instead I asked the boys at City Daygame to fill in. Take it away Xants…….
We were all warned of “beginners hell”.
Hmmmm, I think being a beginner in daygame is great. It’s brilliant. Enjoy it. Throw yourself into it and revel in it because when you hit the intermediate stage things can start to suck. Quite simply, you become jaded.
Starting out gives you an amazing opportunity to overcome approach anxiety. Everything is new and exciting and, if like me you were pretty shit with women before getting into daygame, you’ll be amazed at the early results: you’re getting numbers and bouncing 8s on instant dates (even though they usually go nowhere). You’ve no idea which girls will hit and which will miss so you open them all anyway and you know what? Some of them do go on dates with you, some of them will fuck you, some of them will even let you same day lay them or lose butt plugs up their ass.
The first 6 months for a beginner, done right, can be like the honeymoon period when you first go to the gym. Follow the right programme, eat the right food and you can easily double your lifts, if not triple them. In your daygame honeymoon you can go from not getting laid at all, as I did for a while, to 2+ new notches a month with girls 10 – 15 years younger than you.
Then the wheels may fall off. A year in you may look back and realise your results have plummeted, to perhaps not even a notch per month. If so, it’s time to analyse what’s gone wrong.
I work in sales, a skillset which, fortunately for me, mirrors the daygame skillset. We say that newcomers tend to have high activity levels but low skill levels – assuming they can overcome the crippling fear of rejection which stops them from making sales calls at all. Sound familiar?
Those high activity levels alone can lead a man to early success but it’s volatile: one quarter he knocks the ball out the park, the next he strikes out**. Often his averaged performance is successful overall. As his skill level rises, however, he goes through a period of steadily good results before falling into a potentially terminal decline – due to declining activity levels. This is a bifurcation point for the aspiring salesman: either leave the industry or realise the error of his ways, up his activity and become a long term success.
This is the same challenge facing a daygamer entering his intermediate stage but struggling with dipping results.
What are the keys to enjoying that first run of success?
You do need some sales training before you make your first sales call. It’s not enough to follow a script, you need a methodology. While you certainly can’t yet handle every situation thrown at you, the methodology of the sales process steers you from Open to Close. There is no point reinventing the wheel, so you may as well learn from those who have trodden the path before. It’s only when you reach the end of the proscribed path do you need to innovate.
Personally, I learned my daygame sales process almost entirely from Daygame Nitro and Daygame Mastery and as such I can, hand on heart, recommend that process as it’s been proven to work.
To continue the analogy, sales is easier when your product is good. Of all of the successful daygamers I know (about ten men – which believe me is a big number), none are complete losers***. You need to meet a certain value threshold which means get into decent shape, dress well, and no more borderline aspergers****. If you’re told otherwise you’re being sold a pig in a poke. Some people genuinely do need to work on value before game.
Now you have a product worth selling it’s time to tell potential customers about it. When growing Microsoft into one of the biggest companies in the world, Bill Gates said ‘It doesn’t matter how good our product is, we have to tell a lot of people about it or we won’t sell anything.’ For the daygamer that means opening lots of sets, perhaps two hundred a month at first. I remember rushing out after work to meet Vaughn three nights a week to run daygame, taking Friday as a rest day, then hitting street all weekend.
In summary, you will be successful in daygame if you can manage to develop your:
Where am I in this process? I’m in a period of decline, my new proper job has reduced my time on the streets and I’m now probably managing just fifty sets per month rather than per week. Some salesmen drop out during this period of decline. The daygame equivalent to leaving the industry is probably girlfriending a notch or living off your rotation. One particular siren has lured the goodship Xants towards the rocks and I also have a rotation on the go. It’s tempting to rest on those laurels.
But no, I’ve got no intention of quitting now so it’s time to up the activity again.
** I apologise for not first asking your preferred pronoun. Obviously CIS-gender men, CIS-wimmin, MTF and FTM transitions and non-binaries can all also become salesmen. Of course all but the CIS-men will be utter shit at at.
*** He hasn’t met Jimmy Jambone
**** Sorry, Johnny
If you thought this post was an interesting ramble on daygame related topics you should see their blog.
June 30, 2016 at 4:48 pm
I have hit this point, there’s something about being a newbie where you have excitement about going out and therefore a great vibe which carries the girl along despite your game being lousy. Also why I think my first set of any day usually has a high hit rate of actually leading to a solid number close despite being a messy bumbling interaction. I’m not sure how to get that excitement back now. I want the results but secretly am beginning to despise the grind on the streets.
July 1, 2016 at 1:43 pm
This is good analogy but I wouldn’t suggest the 50/week 200/month approach ratio to anyone. I believe Krauser himself said that it’s unreasonable to expect from anyone that he will consistently do that many quality sets. Let alone beginners. Even those people who can do hundreds of sets in a month experience heavy blowbacks and they need significant downtime between those high volume times.
What’s worse – we’re talking about beginners. Suggesting that they should go into quantity not quality when majority of their sets go nowhere means we’re creating an army (not really) of spam approachers that can destroy any city. Just like at the gym – beginners should work on proper form (quality of interactions) not lifting heaviest weights (quantity). And just like at the gym they should find such weight that will allow them to progress in a fastest yet safe way.
July 1, 2016 at 4:18 pm
Personally I’m not selling anything and I’d rather nobody else ever went into daygame, why I’m writing anything that can encourage other people I don’t know.
From my own experience though I believe in the adage “practice makes perfect”
July 3, 2016 at 2:30 pm
I don’t think it’s as big of a problem as most people would expect. I’ve noticed that there are less and less daygamers on the streets when I go out. This is because the attrition rate is horrendous.
The number of sets needed and the time it takes to get good in addition to the mental struggles you get along the way is simply too much for most normal people. It takes a certain type of person to get really good at this. I believe Nick covers this in Mastery.
In addition to this, we must also account for the quality of girls in a given location as well. In somewhere like Poland or Prague, there will be more than enough quality girls to inspire you to approach, whereas in places like London. There’s more quantity than quality. So the motivation to drag yourself onto the streets and look for the quality girls takes a lot more motivation and persistence.
July 1, 2016 at 6:28 pm
I believe the answer lies, as in almost all things, in the middle. I can see a point in both postures and, in my view, the optimal course of action is a healthy balance between quantity and quality. Go too far on the extreme of quality and you will find yourself having to deal with weasels (especially as a beginner) and with the fact that your skills stagnate – or even decrease – merely due to lack of practice… Too far to the extreme of quantity and you will find yourself inside the “spamming machine”, mentally cursing at the “mediocre” women for not responding to the inauthenticity of your diatribe, cursing at your city and at yourself. I realise that having less than one thousand sets under my belt I have no business complaining about “daygame burnout”, but being winter where I live and all, I am beginning to feel I should work in other areas of my life for some time, not giving up daygame altogether, but limiting it to a few sets during the weekends, until the weather gets better or I move to a bigger city. I believe that cultivating hobbies other than chasing women is not only advisable to preserve one’s motivation in the long run, but also very beneficial for attuning one’s socail saavy.
July 1, 2016 at 7:07 pm
I agree, the answer lies in the middle. It really depends though if you’re doing 50 opens in 5 hours in which case your spam approaching or 50 opens in 5 days which is only 10 per session.
July 1, 2016 at 11:01 pm
where do you live where it is winter in july? my geography isn’t the greatest but isn’t it relatively warm to usual temperature everywhere in the world?
July 2, 2016 at 12:06 am
Nope, not on the southern hemisphere of the globe it’s not. I’m an Argie
July 14, 2016 at 6:01 pm
My daygame journey has been nothing like what’s described here. I’ve done about 450 sets so far and I got my first lay last week. I’ve been on 7 dates and gotten 35 numbers. As you can see, these numbers are fairly modest. There was none of the “newbie gains”. I am about six months in and I’d definitely *not* describe this as the honeymoon period. The first 100-200 approaches were dreadful. I could use many adjectives to describe them, but “exciting” wouldn’t be one of them. Somewhere around the 300 mark I started seeing some semblance to excitement and my general vibe has been improving over the last 2-3 months. I just seem to be trudging along on a slow and steady path of progress. I never had any rapid improvements followed by a plateau. [A lot depends on where your starting point is and how hot the girls you want are. Congrats on the first lay – it took me 1,000 sets. K.]
July 25, 2016 at 9:37 pm
I think you have a massive advantage in some respects if you’ve had experience working in a cold calling sales job prior to starting daygame.
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