I’ve been beavering away on my new book this week – no not volume four of the memoir, that’s finished – and frankly I didn’t feel like blogging. So I let my mind wander to an important question: do I know any solid daygamers, who post regularly about the daygame journey on their own blog, who could write a guest post here that would suit my readers? Unfortunately I don’t*. So instead I asked the boys at City Daygame to fill in. Take it away Xants…….
We were all warned of “beginners hell”.
Hmmmm, I think being a beginner in daygame is great. It’s brilliant. Enjoy it. Throw yourself into it and revel in it because when you hit the intermediate stage things can start to suck. Quite simply, you become jaded.
Starting out gives you an amazing opportunity to overcome approach anxiety. Everything is new and exciting and, if like me you were pretty shit with women before getting into daygame, you’ll be amazed at the early results: you’re getting numbers and bouncing 8s on instant dates (even though they usually go nowhere). You’ve no idea which girls will hit and which will miss so you open them all anyway and you know what? Some of them do go on dates with you, some of them will fuck you, some of them will even let you same day lay them or lose butt plugs up their ass.
The first 6 months for a beginner, done right, can be like the honeymoon period when you first go to the gym. Follow the right programme, eat the right food and you can easily double your lifts, if not triple them. In your daygame honeymoon you can go from not getting laid at all, as I did for a while, to 2+ new notches a month with girls 10 – 15 years younger than you.
Then the wheels may fall off. A year in you may look back and realise your results have plummeted, to perhaps not even a notch per month. If so, it’s time to analyse what’s gone wrong.
I work in sales, a skillset which, fortunately for me, mirrors the daygame skillset. We say that newcomers tend to have high activity levels but low skill levels – assuming they can overcome the crippling fear of rejection which stops them from making sales calls at all. Sound familiar?
Those high activity levels alone can lead a man to early success but it’s volatile: one quarter he knocks the ball out the park, the next he strikes out**. Often his averaged performance is successful overall. As his skill level rises, however, he goes through a period of steadily good results before falling into a potentially terminal decline – due to declining activity levels. This is a bifurcation point for the aspiring salesman: either leave the industry or realise the error of his ways, up his activity and become a long term success.
This is the same challenge facing a daygamer entering his intermediate stage but struggling with dipping results.
What are the keys to enjoying that first run of success?
You do need some sales training before you make your first sales call. It’s not enough to follow a script, you need a methodology. While you certainly can’t yet handle every situation thrown at you, the methodology of the sales process steers you from Open to Close. There is no point reinventing the wheel, so you may as well learn from those who have trodden the path before. It’s only when you reach the end of the proscribed path do you need to innovate.
To continue the analogy, sales is easier when your product is good. Of all of the successful daygamers I know (about ten men – which believe me is a big number), none are complete losers***. You need to meet a certain value threshold which means get into decent shape, dress well, and no more borderline aspergers****. If you’re told otherwise you’re being sold a pig in a poke. Some people genuinely do need to work on value before game.
Now you have a product worth selling it’s time to tell potential customers about it. When growing Microsoft into one of the biggest companies in the world, Bill Gates said ‘It doesn’t matter how good our product is, we have to tell a lot of people about it or we won’t sell anything.’ For the daygamer that means opening lots of sets, perhaps two hundred a month at first. I remember rushing out after work to meet Vaughn three nights a week to run daygame, taking Friday as a rest day, then hitting street all weekend.
In summary, you will be successful in daygame if you can manage to develop your:
Where am I in this process? I’m in a period of decline, my new proper job has reduced my time on the streets and I’m now probably managing just fifty sets per month rather than per week. Some salesmen drop out during this period of decline. The daygame equivalent to leaving the industry is probably girlfriending a notch or living off your rotation. One particular siren has lured the goodship Xants towards the rocks and I also have a rotation on the go. It’s tempting to rest on those laurels.
But no, I’ve got no intention of quitting now so it’s time to up the activity again.
** I apologise for not first asking your preferred pronoun. Obviously CIS-gender men, CIS-wimmin, MTF and FTM transitions and non-binaries can all also become salesmen. Of course all but the CIS-men will be utter shit at at.
*** He hasn’t met Jimmy Jambone
**** Sorry, Johnny
If you thought this post was an interesting ramble on daygame related topics you should see their blog.