I’ve been seeing a lot of “Yad” stops on the street*. It’s a much maligned form of opening but it does have it’s uses when first coaching beginners. Generally speaking, the typical beginner daygame is a bit of a faggot. He lacks physical and psychological presence and thus can’t effectively insert his presence into a girl’s day. The mechanics of the Yad Stop compensate for these weaknesses by making the open itself very flamboyant and movie-like.
I use it maybe 10% of my approaches, probably less.
Rather than get hung up on the precise mechanics of the Yad Stop (or any other stop) I decided to tweak my coaching to what I consider the essence of reaching hook point, as opposed to the superficial trappings of it. The point is not to robotically act out a series of moves, but rather it’s to convey certain characteristics to the girl in order to impress upon her a positive emotional evaluation of you. So, forget about the distance, the number of steps to take, the angle of cutting in front, where to hold your hands and so on. Fuck all that. Think about this:
- Solid eye contact
- A stop signal
That’s the essence of every quality stop. Let’s analyse it further.
You can gain and then hold eye contact with a girl from several dozen metres away if necessary so long as you have attracted her attention. This is why I might wave at a girl or shout “excuse me” very loud. Things like “excuse me, blonde girl with pink skirt” or “excuse me, hey! Tall girl walking fast. Yes, you!”. She’ll respond and you give and hold eye contact. She knows you’re there and intend to say something to her. The same applies if she’s brushing past you walking the opposite direction in a subway – force the eye contact by looking at her then when she returns the look you hold it and open. Same if she’s sitting a few tables away in a cafe.
The distance doesn’t matter. The direction doesn’t matter. You don’t need to wait for her to walk past then loop around and chase after her for a Yad Stop. So long as you have eye contact, she knows you’re initiating something with her.
Now you need to command her to stop. That doesn’t mean you need to describe a wide arc towards her then leap in front as per the Yad Stop. If she’s five metres ahead of you and walking towards, just step into her path while holding eye contract, opening your mouth, and putting out your hand. Perhaps you only noticed her just as she was about to pass by you? If she IOId you can put your hand out and lightly grab her upper arm for the stop. If she didn’t, perhaps you run backwards a few steps while gesticulating her to remove her headphones. Maybe you just comically wave your hands in front of her face from a few feet away. She gets the message – you intend to stop her. So she’ll stop or she won’t.
There must be a stop moment. A clear black and white indication of stop. Once you’ve got it – from whichever angle – you will maneuver yourself directly infront of her whether that requires one step to the side, or walking ten metres across the grass.
All of this is done with conviction. You fully intend to stop her and fully expect her to respond. Of course she might just ignore you and keep walking but you are forcing her to make that decision of “No thanks, I don’t want to talk to you”. She has to turn away from you, or step around you, or turn her head away like a princess. That’s fine, and you can let her go. But she’s definitely going to know you tried.
So long as your opening follows these three principles it doesn’t matter much what the specific movements are. Don’t get hung up on the details of the Yad Stop and don’t shackle yourself to one ritualised opener. The only reason it ever worked and was thus adopted as the recognisable London Daygame Model opener is because it happened to incorporate these three elements – when done properly**
And yes, I’ve seen many beginners do Yad Stops that somehow fail to convey any of the three key principles.
Now that you’re freed from the tyranny of micro-managing your Yad Stop, what else improves your odds of a hook point? The easiest one to learn is to roll your words. What I mean is you deliver your opener and stack by slowly speaking the words with a rhythmic cadence like you are playing new vocabulary. Try to imagine you’re speaking like waves lapping against the shore, or like a couple waltzing around a ballroom. You hook better if your vocal style resembles a dance rather than a robot.
Something like this is difficult to express in text so listen to my Joy Of Daygame infields to get a better idea (and you can also infer the above three principles from them too if you listen carefully). Another way to improve your cadence is to give yourself buffer phrases that you drop into the opener and the stack which draw out completion of the sentence while also conveying self-amusement. Consider the same information presented in two different ways:
Robot: Hi, I hope you speak English…. Great… I just noticed you and I had to say, you look very naughty. You had a cheeky smile and a sparkle in your eyes. It’s nice. You look like you’re running from the scene of a crime. Somewhere back there, a cake shop owner is reporting you to the police. “This girl came in and ate all my cheesecake without paying!”.
Cadence: Right…. ok….. phew…. [takes deep breath]….. you walk fast. Hi. I hope you speak English…. Great….. Right then, I just noticed you and….. I had to say you look very…… [looks appraisingly for a moment] … naughty. You had a cheeky smile and a sparkle in your eyes. It’s nice. You look like…… like….. hmmmmm….. like you’re running from the scene of a crime. Somewhere waaaaaay back there [gestures expansively]….. Somewhere back there, a cake shop owner is reporting you to the police….. he’s probably saying something like…. “This girl came in and, and, and, she ate all my cheesecake! Without paying!”
We often call the assumption stack the assumption story and that’s how you should deliver it – like a story to an excitable child. Draw out the words, leave pauses, repeat key words after a pause, gesture. Your delivery is at least as important as the entertainment value of the assumption itself.
* I absolutely hate the convention of naming a technique after the first person you saw do it, and thus I usually call it a Front Stop. That said, Yad is clearly the guy who introduced this style into daygame so I’ll give him credit for it here.
** I guess “when done properly” is key to every part of the model.
If you liked the furry animals referenced in this post, you should see my book. It has squirrels, cats and hamsters.
June 22, 2016 at 5:58 pm
Great as usual. One of those “simplify to make it easier to understand, much harder to learn” posts.
I used to take off my sunglasses before approaching but now I’m not so sure that eyes are really that important. Might be just the fact that I’m making “laser eyes” anyway and that changes my face or my stop signal is strong enough. Of course early in the set I take the sunglasses off anyway. Not enough data to draw conclusions yet but I wonder have you ever tried “sunglasses game” and to what results. Let’s face it – it’s pain in the eyes to walk without them for many hours in full sun.
June 22, 2016 at 8:20 pm
All I’m interested in is if you open and deliver a one liner David Caruso style.
June 23, 2016 at 2:17 am
I quite like opening with sunglasses on, it shows a devil may care cockiness. Think of cocky guys wearing sunnies inside etc
I normally take it off, if it’s an Idate, or we are in the shade
June 22, 2016 at 8:35 pm
I cant help but cringe whenever I see the so called ‘Yad Stop’ … its so OTT and just well … weird. Specifically, it always seems to be done in a panicked rush with this odd little skip and hop right at the end. What is this! Someone needs to scientifically test this stop by approaching say 20 times using this method, then 20 times by just going up to the girl ‘normally’, i.e. getting alongside or ahead of her and saying “hi excuse me … ” I very quickly abandoned the front stop, as I felt it was camp (no surprise since it was named after Yad) and had no problems stopping girls whatsoever (plenty of problems elsewhere but never in getting them to stop). Perhaps 2% don’t stop but the rest all stop and listen to the opener. Now, it might be my devilish good looks Im not sure, or my masculine energy I don’t know but I suspect this whole “Yad Stop” thing is just another ritual which has been created in the daygame factory and falsely reinforced as it gives the dervish practising it a sense of security in the midst of an experience he otherwise would find utterly terrifying. This is just one of many such rituals which are not only useless but actually counter productive as the girl figures you may well be a weirdo.
June 22, 2016 at 8:42 pm
Oh and agree that to make girls stop you have to use eye contact, signal them to stop and have conviction. I would add a magic ingredient which is very rare to the process too … smile. Simple but effective. Also, I would say to guys if girls aren’t sure what you want and half stop (i.e. slow down to listen while they do a fly by) don’t be afraid to repeat yourself.
June 22, 2016 at 10:51 pm
Blackbook video + Street Attraction coaching = Success. QED.
June 24, 2016 at 4:23 am
As much fun as it might be to snicker about Yad stops, the magic for me in this post is the “roll your words” bit. I like the echo in your “math” post.
I’ve never heard you articulate that before… But I was out running sets today, and I was generating “the story” in my head, and I could hear your cadence in my own voice (mostly from your Overkill examples).
I hit on a lot Asian girls, and that slow… rolling… exaggerated delivery… works especially well… when English… Isn’t her first language.
And all that slow pausing, gives a lot of time, for eye contact. Sexier vibe, even w/ native tongues.
It also fixes my lifelong habit of talking so fast no one can understand me.
Yes to this. Thanks, man. Really helps.
June 26, 2016 at 12:53 pm
Hey, NIck. In one of your Youtube-videos you talk about that the hook point doesn’t necessarily mean she is attracted. On the other side Tom Torero and other PUAs seem to say it’s a sign of attraction. I am kinda confused.
June 26, 2016 at 8:39 pm
I’m glad you’re leaning from Scott. We could talk. We are leaning similar things. 🙂
July 1, 2016 at 4:35 pm
I remember reading a post here where you mentioned Yad as the best Daygamer a few years ago, do you still think the same?
July 5, 2016 at 1:39 am
Imagine how pathetic this scene would have been had he spoken without pauses and instead would have rambled the whole speech continuously.
Ryan, there’s no contradiction there. Something being a sign of attraction and that something not necessarily implying attraction aren’t mutually exclusive.
Think of it this way: sitting in the first row as a university student is a sign you’re studious. Unless it’s exam time, then most likely the notorious class skippers and rule breakers might be sat in first row by the professor to diminish cheating.
Pingback: Weaseled out of a session and thought’s on the “Yad stop” – Mad Jack Daygame
Pingback: 10/30: Minimising Yad Stops
Pingback: Topics Raised At A Night Of Drinking At Lee Cho’s: Crazy Things, Front Stops, Doing The Opposite and Age Filtering – Thomas Crown PUA