I’ve been wandering around with my dictaphone a lot recently. I just wrap the hands-free set around my neck chain, click “go” on the unit, put it in my pocket and I’m ready. This means very long recordings of silence, eating and the occasional tinkle of mid-afternoon toilet breaks. Don’t worry, I edited those out. One thing I realised it that lots of my recordings are dumb retarded shit *. When I’m out with Jimmy Jabroni they are incredibly retarded.

Anyway, I digress.

I’ve been having tremendous fun with my daygame as I feel like I’ve finally broken out of the outcome dependence** and gotten to a point where I’m just lolling for lolz. I’m abusing the model now and freestyling . So I figured that instead of doing a po-faced infield product of boring workman-like sets that send everyone to sleep *** it would be good to just give away all my recent infield recordings for free. I’ve got a few SDLs to start with. Bear in mind my focus is on doing the game rather than recording the sets, so I often fuck things up on the audio-visual side. We’ll kick this off with Anastasia, a cute blonde who was foolish enough to be walking up Khreschatyk Street in central Kiev at 10pm. It was dark and rammed with greasy Turkish sex tourists propositioning all the girls for money. Absolutely gross.

While I was filming the squalid scene on my phone cam for Jimmy and generally bitching and moaning about the horrible street vibe, I spot a slim ballerina-body girl gazing through the window of Zara. She had big heels, black tights, and a vulnerable air. Right ho, I think, that’s my first set of the day. I chatted a little by the window and she was giving off sparkly eyes and letting me get close. So a minute or two in I sit on the ledge of the window and she just stays close. An old babushka interrupts to sell us lucky flowers, so I try to walk her away. Instead she engages the old woman and buys a bouquet. I bounce her to a nearby bench and when it seems on walk her off to an Irish bar for a drink. At this point I check my recording and accidently plug the mic into the headphones socket and the audio gets horrible. So the audio stops as we are about to walk to the bar.

I’ve skipped the audio from the pub as it’s completely fucked. We spent about 45 minutes in there sitting side-by-side in a dark booth and were soon making out. She was massively horny, throwing herself at me. So I got her to straddle me and I took my dick out in the pub. Classy. It didn’t take long of her tugging at that before I considered it wise to pull her home. Once we got inside I was able to turn on the video so you can see the (blurred) close from 16 minute mark. She was a K-selected low-notch girl but as you’ll hear right at the end, she hadn’t had sex in nine months. That’s how I caught her at the r-most side of her spectrum. Next I’ll put up an SDL I got the afternoon before with a proper ratbag. Neither were stunners, but SDLs never are****

This is what a real SDL looks like, when you’re not hiring actresses. More to come.

* No, not the Womanizer’s Bible podcasts. Those are quality.

** The 22 near misses of 2015 had quite a big impact on my zen-like calm.

*** i.e. every infield product that’s not called Daygame Overkill.

**** for other people, that is. I’ve clacked a few stunners same day.