“I used to be indecisive. I’m not so sure now”
I was chatting on Facebook to Bodi this afternoon. He’s just wrapped up a trip to South America and is now visiting a friend in Asia. As he’s written about extensively in his
suicide note book, Bodi is a chronic procrastinator. Back in London in 2013, before daygaming he’d often lay several t-shirts on his bed trying to decide what to wear and while I waited in the lounge impatiently tapping my foot, he’d be experimenting with more costume changes than a Janet Jackson concert.
I’ve always been exasperated by indecisive people. Life is really simple – decide what you want to do and then go do it. Don’t worry about failure. Don’t worry about what people think. Just do it*
That got me thinking about from whence decisiveness comes. It’s a fundamentally masculine trait. We’ve all seen how women just cluck and squeak, chasing their own tails until a man comes along and leads them. Why is that?
Bodi said his 2014/15 testosterone replacement therapy has made a massive difference in his decisiveness, such that he’s ended a dry spell by knobbing six birds in two months. Rather than sit around like a faggot on dates he’s been putting the moves on. Decisiveness.
So at least in part, decisiveness is influenced by your T-level. What else? I find it extremely easy to go out and take decisive action when an activity meets the following criteria:
- I really want it
- I have a vision of how success looks
- I know I have the ability (or at least have a path to develop that ability)
- The worst case scenario doesn’t scare me**
Applying that to daygame is pretty obvious. We want to fuck hot girls. We’ve seen on YouTube and Daygame Overkill how effective seduction looks. There are books that explain step-by-step how to develop the ability*** And of course it’s not too tough to mentally prepare yourself to accept the worst-case eye roll blowout. Add all that together and you can hit the streets and take decisive action.
Of course it’s not quite that simple, but that’s the crux of it. When I started daygame in 2009 we didn’t have anything for 2) and 3). You guys have it easy!
Those of you who also read Danger & Play and Bold & Determined (and if you don’t, you should at least try them) will note how Mike and Victor’s decisiveness shines through in the very language they write. They are also rather productive guys, always working a new hustle. I see many commentors marvel at their workrate.
Is that workrate really so impressive? Not really.
It’s the natural outcome of having nurtured their decisive mindsets. I’ll bet ONE MILLION DOLLARS**** that Mike and Victor don’t actually feel they are working especially hard. Decisive action is energising. You might as well be asking happy kids stomping around the sandpit if they are “working especially hard”.
I’ve had a very productive winter.
I’ve been working on a secret (non-pickup) side project that has consumed hours per day for months. I’ve almost finished writing a new 150,000 word book. I’ve been hitting the gym. I’ve read a book per week. And I’ve still had time to complete several big video games. In each case I didn’t rely on any “hacks” for time efficiency. I didn’t need a “four hour workweek” plan. I didn’t even need willpower. Instead I just figured out what I wanted, formed the vision of how the completed goal looks, and then walked towards it.
School and corporate life conditions you to believe a high workrate is the product of self-discipline, willpower and sacrifice. Only if you’re doing something you hate. If you want it and have the vision, you’ll take decisive action without feeling like it’s work at all.*****
* There’s probably a marketing slogan in that. I might trademark it.
** I should add that I’m so tough that nothing scares me. That bullet point was just for all my pussy readers.
*** Customary Daygame Mastery plug.
**** Of fantasy internet currency
***** Case in point is this blogpost. It took me fifteen minutes from conception to publication. I had unified the four criteria so the words tumbled out. Easy.
February 8, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Yeah Man U hit da one on da nail
February 8, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Indecisiveness can be attributed and blamed for almost everything bad that has ever happened. Here’s one of mine on boring dates that maybe some people can relate to:
I have a problem being decisive when the particular girl I’m with is being shitty or boring. Even if I’ve gotten reassuring signals that she likes me and that I can either grab a # or possibly take her home, my resolve in “how much do I want it” really takes a dip. Maybe half my dates are great and everything flows naturally, but the other half are stilted and kinda painful. 1st date sex vs 3 day lay. Personally, it’s either it happens on the 1st or I never get a 2nd, out of my own incompetence I think. I blame indecision.
Last week I met this gorgeous French brunette on a train but decided not to take her # because after a very good 5 minutes she got quiet and didn’t contribute much the next 30. My grandma was with me (though out of set) and she scolded me for not taking her # because she though it was great what I did and that the poor girl was just really shy and a bit intimidated because we were on a busy train and this is unusual for her. I told her I didn’t take her # because I thought she was boring, though I felt terrible about it for the next 2 hours because my gut was telling me Grandma was right and that I made a stupid decision. If that girl met me later on a date she would have probably been more forthcoming and we would of had a great time together.
So my question is, how do you remain decisive when a girl’s behaviour is not meeting your expectations and is turning you off? You know the sex will make it worth it, but maybe she just shared an interest in something you think is despicable or she is just plain boring and not stimulating you. What drives you to stay and make it work, as opposed to just leaving and talking to another girl who you’ll probably like more.
Is it realistically sustainable to just screen these girls out and not waste any of your time with them (even if it costs you possible lays), or do you just have to accept it, build some patience, and try and brainstorm gambits to get her more engaged and work with it? [It sounds like you lack 1) and 2) at times. Possibly some limiting beliefs on 3) and 4) too. Indecisiveness is natural if you’re not actually sure you want something. Then it’s not a failing. It’s probably worth introspecting ahead of time to figure out exactly what you want in a girl and what the tells are. K.]
February 8, 2016 at 9:21 pm
Thanks Nick, I couldn’t sleep last night because I blew a really good lead for a ONS last night for the same reasons I posted – your post on decisiveness was really on point. I read your book Daygame Nitro and found it very easy to write my own “Things I Like/Dislike” sheet and am doing a fairly good job at recognizing the tells. There’s just a big chasm between “Yes” girls and interested shy girls. Perhaps too much of my success comes from aggressive Yes girls and it has clouded my ability to work with the more reserved types by making me auto-reject them for not showing the same kind of enthusiasm I’m used to. Definitely a good chunk of #2 with a little bit of #1 and #3 creeping in for these particular scenarios.
You wrote in that same e-book how you don’t want to talk so much as to set the frame that you talk she listens. This is interesting coming from you, because on your blog you say that you’re a talkative person. I don’t have a problem losing the overall frame on this and my girls are always working to earn my approval/attention, but I fear that I may be a lot more responsible for a girl’s quietness than I’m aware of. I imagine that with your personality you must have also learned how to overcome this.
I’m considering buying your overkill package, and will definitely get Mastery when I’ve earned the experience for it to not be a mind-wank obsession, but are there any pointers or intuitions you can offer on getting shy girls to be more engaging? Like I said, I’m willing to form my own gambits and am a very introspective person by nature, but I’m wary of working from the wrong perspective and missing the point. I just believe that this is the final real hurdle and once I’m over it the rest is just opening set after set for the repetition and experience to sink in to my heart’s content.
Thanks again for your feedback, I really appreciate it and am looking forward to reading your new book when it comes out.
February 8, 2016 at 9:37 pm
“So my question is, how do you remain decisive when a girl’s behaviour is not meeting your expectations and is turning you off? You know the sex will make it worth it, but maybe she just shared an interest in something you think is despicable or she is just plain boring and not stimulating you. What drives you to stay and make it work, as opposed to just leaving and talking to another girl who you’ll probably like more. ”
I see nothing wrong with leaving. Maybe shy girls aren’t your cup of tea. I “fell in love” Saturday night with one young girl, not particularly pretty (not fugly), but very fun and charming and chatty and complimentary. She kind of reminded me of gnome girls on WoW.
February 8, 2016 at 9:14 pm
In terms of having a step by step guide are we actually at the destination or still on the journey though? Are you still in the process of experimenting and improving the model Krauser? Part of my respect for what you’ve done comes from the fact you’ve actually experimented with various iterations of material in the field (vs. most of the so called gurus who just copycat each other and game like they are engaged in some ritual). The model you propose in Mastery definitely ‘works’ infield, but its got drawbacks, as I see them 1) it can be inflexible in that it works best on a certain type of girl in a certain context [foreign girl with time on her hands in the daytime, bonus is she has outsider status] 2) it can be unwieldy to use as its so material heavy 3) it requires the girl to give you a certain amount of space and bear with you in order to unravel the whole model or at least get to the interesting part in order to hook (I realise you try and build in ways to captivate early on through playing on female phycology such as telling them what you noticed about them, the special snowflakes that they are, and so on). Consequence is many girls will be lost in the first 30 seconds who aren’t in the yes or strong maybe range, you also struggle to use it in fast settings, think Leicester square on a Saturday night or a girl rushing into a shop on Regent St.
I still think much of what you have said in mastery is useful but I just don’t deploy it in a linear or textbook fashion any longer. I do use parts of it, or certain methods where I feel appropriate. This process, as well as observation of other guys infields has made me think that some of what we were doing is unnecessary for a solid close, sometimes what we are doing actually gets in the way and additionally that we may be missing out of doing the really important things in order to cover off a checklist. I recently (re) watched one of Richards (SA) infields which is a great example, he’s not running LDM here, its utterly light and fluid in nature and yet the set is one of the strongest I’ve seen on camera.
Second half is the set I’m referring to ..
There is also an infield I believe on their VIP area, which has a Peruvian girl in a coffee shop who was a clear maybe girl … again no LDM model used and if you had tried in this context you would have had to eject or go to something else as it would have hit a brick wall post opener (seated set in a coffee shop). [I think you misconceive the LDM. Mastery is a kitchen sink book, you’re not supposed to use it all. Leave a comment on the SA channel and ask Richard if he’s doing LDM. K]
February 8, 2016 at 9:34 pm
I just watched it again … its a two set which is isn’t ideal, on top of that its a seated set … most experienced daygamers just wouldn’t bother as the odds aren’t great to get a solid close. He uses some elements of game in the set mainly in the form of short simple observations to ignite conversation eg. I like your hat .. its Russian but not really in the more complex way that we do in LDM. He also obviously does a role play toward the end. The beginning and end which daygamers are obsessed by were formalities executed with minimal fuss. The interaction had speed and was very fizzy and light … the opposite of what the daygame performing monkeys who to use a military analogy appear to be running a tank through a building.
February 8, 2016 at 10:27 pm
What you mean I don’t have to read out all 460 pages on the street Krauser 🙂 Just kidding.
I realise what you mean … obviously you have given a set of options, which lead to other options, so the model is like a tree with different roots branching out in different directions. Part of it is left open to user discretion, especially the part on comfort where you give general guidance. However, taking the ideal pathway if you like will still lead to a certain type of interaction. I think we still need guys like you to hone this craft and not become like religious zealots who now think they have the unchangeable word of god in their hands (there is definitely a human frailty where we seem to always think we have everything worked out when in fact we don’t). [Nobody I know follows Mastery exactly. That’s like a guitarist who plays every solo like he’s practising his scales. Structure first, freedom second. K.]
February 9, 2016 at 1:12 am
I’ve never seen your blog as an avenue for you to help men (not a goal of yours a byproduct), rather a form of carthasis and a way to make money off your writing. This is based on how you present yourself online.
This is the post of yours I’ve read that goes against this belief. [That’s because you’re new to this blog. I’ve only been selling for 2 of the 6 years I’ve been blogging. K.]
February 9, 2016 at 8:37 am
Testerone is CRUCIAL to growth. There is a peak in testosterone on day 7 after ejaculation, with T-levels returning to normal at the end of day 8. Many people underestimate the significance of this. They did a study that showed that people who masturbated exactly every 8 days, cycling these natural T-spikes, made 4 TIMES the gains of people who masturbated. 4 FUCKING TIMES. Especially if they worked out heavily on days 5, 6 and 7.
However, forcing yourself to ejaculate only once every 8 days is tough. A yes, sex counts as a release, any form of ejaculation will set you back. It’s tough, but it’s like natural steroids.
February 9, 2016 at 12:32 pm
I’d also add that edging increases testosterone hugely, but it’s ejaculation that brings it down. If you spend a couple hours per day jerking off to hardcore porn, but don’t orgasm, your test levels go up tremendously and you keep the 7 day spike that comes from not ejaculating.
February 10, 2016 at 4:34 am
This sounds beyond ridiculous, but I can see how it can make sense. Do you have a link for that study?
I doubt it’s exactly 8 days for everyone, but do you think it has more to do with the psychological excitement of masturbating or just the actual physical arousal that mimics sex? If it’s physical you could just replace the porn with PE gym and get both benefits, but if it’s sexual then I guess edging is a good enough exercise in itself.
Since we’re talking about the weird benefits of masturbation, I’d like to take this strange topic to the next level and add that going hands-free and humping a pillow over a soft blanket for the nice friction and just using your imagination is a profound way to train your brain to completely immerse yourself in a sexual experience and work on stamina
It’ll teach you good rhythm, build muscle memory/endurance/power, hard grips, mental state, how to apply your PC muscles, new variations in thrusting, and is just a great way to edge for stamina too. It’s like having a life-size fuck doll. I went from lasting 3 minutes straight to until I’m so damn sweaty I just have to stop. That’s some good edging right there, a bit of a workout, and believe me, it translates pretty damn well to good hard missionary sex in the flesh, too.
It’s not magic, but when everything clicks it does translate phenomenally. Also, if you’re short like me, it’s a great way to desensitize and adapt your screwing to taller women as you can replicate their higher shoulders with the pillow and get the right grips to immerse yourself pretty well. That way when you’re actually about to bang immersing yourself flows pretty naturally and your body already knows what to do because its trained on it almost daily.
Anyway, thanks for the bro science. Hope you found mine useful/interesting too.
February 10, 2016 at 4:20 pm
It sounds ridiculous to you that testosterone spikes, prompting you to become sexually aggressive, in the absence of sexual release?
I guess your pillow-humping theory is less ridiculous.
February 11, 2016 at 12:27 pm
You know what increases testosterone? Injecting testosterone.
February 9, 2016 at 11:08 am
Procrastination used to be a common theme in my early twenties and didn’t know how to motivate myself to get started.
Nowadays, i’ve gotten a lot better. partly due to age and realising i’m getting older. But the key to making a change is to create healthy habits.
A lot of the motivation side of things has never worked for me. So what I instead did was dedicate at least 60 days of doing something daily until it became routine. Now it’s all second nature.
I strongly recommend going through a program called ‘Wake Up Productive’ by Eben Pagan/David Deangelo. It’s probably the single best thing I ever went through that showed me the best course of action for getting shit done.
February 9, 2016 at 11:54 am
Glad to hear Bodi is having success. His book was honestly one of the funniest I’ve ever read, tell him to stop procrastinating and write an update on his blog.
February 9, 2016 at 11:40 pm
Agreed mate it was hilarious the toilet part had me in stitches! haha
February 10, 2016 at 5:36 pm
What do you think about this video?
“standars of pickup [I stopped watching 3 minutes in when he said “ok” game gets laid 1-2 times from 10 approaches. Fantasy land. K.]
February 11, 2016 at 12:03 pm
lol Bullshit stats. If it was that easy, Oxford Street would be a meat market.
February 11, 2016 at 2:10 pm
As a (former) professional statistician I can tell you it certainly is bullshit … there are too many variables at play to give a straight number in this way. Still what do you expect … ‘Badboy’ is not the intellectual type. In a bar brawl he probably is quite handy though 🙂
February 12, 2016 at 1:59 pm
zatara, he probably omitted a 0 in his calculations (10 v. 100 approaches). Off by one.
February 11, 2016 at 2:33 am
At the end of my last LTR a few years ago I found myself fat, depressed, single and 40. I had to lower my standards severely to get laid. I went on TRT and immediately shed 20kg of fat and put on 15kg of muscle, but the change in mood, outlook and confidence was literally life changing.
I can’t recommend it highly enough
February 11, 2016 at 3:54 pm
This sounds familiar.
February 11, 2016 at 7:45 pm
Any of you men have thoughts about Croatian broads? I met one at a wine-tasting event who was there with an American hipster visiting the States for six days and she was all over me. She quit hanging on her man and started hanging on my shoulder, hand around my waist, hand on my belly, etc. It shocked me. I wasn’t actively gaming her, but our convo led me to DHV about living overseas, speaking German, etc. Is that shit common for Croatian women?
February 12, 2016 at 4:45 pm
Hoes come in all nationalities.
February 14, 2016 at 3:03 am
Good article. Particularly for me as I’m pretty bad at being indecisive at the best of times. My main problem is whenever I begin a task I find myself constantly querying myself “is this the best/most efficient use of my time?”, then dropping it to do something else. Ultimately I end up stop/starting multiple things, achieving nothing from my day and getting pissed off at myself about it. I guess the key is recognising this and disciplining myself accordingly to stick to the one thing until completion.
Interestingly I had my testosterone checked not that long ago and it came out normal. A little high if anything. But I also have a lot of the other symptoms of low T, so perhaps a re-check is in order…
February 14, 2016 at 6:57 am
I WASN’T SURE IF I WANTED TO LEAVE A COMMENT ON your blog oh that’s better. I don’t want to go back and re-type what I wrote because I’m not sure about changing my ind.
But I liked your post and the numbers in them. I don’t get laid myself not matter what I do. It’s something to do with ARGENTINIANS. fuck that again
Hews are really driving me nuts with the news these days. Too.
I hope you and bodi keep writing your screeds. They entertain me in the cold winters. of my life. now that I had to write.
Redheads sometimez lose the really red color in just a few years and it goes a kind of grey red even when they are in their 20s. Weird, huh? Why do you thik that is?
February 14, 2016 at 6:14 pm
K, do you think you’ll ever give TRT a try since you are getting up there in age? [Not for a while. My T is above average. No points messing with an endocrine system that is working well. K.]
February 28, 2016 at 11:00 pm
Bodi cold streak is over and his doing well! glad to hear he finally seems to get things running his way.
He should get back and write one last article to see what changed for him.