An intermediate player spends a lot of his time learning how to blow the love-bubble and prevent it bursting. From the moment you stop a girl on the street you have to induce her to talk to you, to enjoy it, and to let you lead her forwards. That’s a real skill if she hasn’t already decided to fuck you – which for us normal men means 95%+ of girls (and all the hotter ones). If you take her on an idate the bubble stays blown ever longer but there’ll come a point where you have to either pull her home, or take a number. Assuming the latter, the bubble bursts and she’s going to wake up tomorrow morning to her normal life. The subsequent texting (or lack of it) will clue you in to what she really wants. If she responds well you’ve got a Day 2 coming up and the bubble gets re-blown.
You can only fuck the girl when she’s in the bubble.
That’s why I say the first message after the bubble bursts is the most important one. How does she respond to your feeler text after the street stop? How does she respond to your ping the day after the idate/Day 2? That’s the single best piece of data to gauge her interest. The medium is the message. Good signs are:
- Fast reply (either by clock-time, or by a busy girl responding soon after her first available break)
- Long reply
- Smiley faces
- Unsolicited information
- Playing along to your conversation thread
So with that in mind what do you think of this girl’s next day post-burst response?
I call it a good one. She remained a Suspicious On but she’s closer to Yes after the first date than she was before it. She’s had a good look at me and is willing to stick around for another dance. My gut was telling me not to rush it and not be too available because for all the positive signs, she’d rejected the kiss attempt. I’d do better to just patiently keep things going, drop in a little value but avoid banter and studiously avoid asking her out again for a few days. This would recover some frame and show I’m not entirely sold. Make her chase a little, or at least wonder why I’m not chasing harder. She needs to know she’s got to get her steps right too, it’s not all one-way traffic. *
It’s not until four days later that I invite her out. It didn’t take any willpower on my part to hold out because I was enjoying my street game and had other leads which looked brighter than her. She rebuffed that invite and I didn’t ask again so you can see she’s keeping the momentum alive and doesn’t want me to drop off the hook. When I don’t ask a second time she starts chasing. I start to feel like I’m reeling her in.
Any time she’s chasing, let her come. Don’t snatch the reins and start leading. You’ll see I just hold my ground – polite, keeping it alive, but not trying to move forwards. You never get this luxury on a short trip but I had time and alternate leads. When I don’t message her at all the next day she tries to rebuild the ant mound and invites me out with a specific time later that day.
She was still hard work.
We had a drink in a bar and she retained her usual self-possession. Nonetheless my thinking was “she knows what I want and she came out again, so escalate” and I started walking her to an Irish bar that has darker, more secluded booths. She wasn’t having it. “I don’t want to go there” she said, but actually provided a reasonable specific rationale for why that particular pub was not suitable for her so I let it slide. She suggested some other place a couple of streets away and walked me there.
Oh dear, another frame-snatch.
That pub turned out to be a brightly-lit Italian restaurant and she wanted to eat. As has happened consistently this year, at the first silly buggers gambit I just lost all interest in her. I literally couldn’t be bothered to talk to her anymore and was fighting the urge to walk out without ordering. She said she’s hungry and ordered pizza. I ordered a beer and told myself “give her ten minutes to redeem herself, or leave”. It took mental discipline for me to stay on the date. **
She couldn’t help but notice my change of mood and started to get worried. I barely looked at her, refused a slice of her pizza, didn’t order a second beer, and mostly just gave short non-commital answers. It wasn’t a ploy – I really lost interest in her but couldn’t quite decide to leave. Halfway through her food she’d been trying hard to rebuild the mood so I softened and started talking again. With the benefit of hindsight this had been an effective push.
I told her I wanted to go to a proper bar and as we walked on to a basement hipster-twat joint *** my mood suddenly picked up. I became more talkative and the vibe was good again. We sat down in a booth, her across from me and I decided there’d be no more bullshit. She’d reached the end of the line and things would have to get overt. Slavic girls are extremely good at playing the grey area to waste your time. You’ll often have to break the vibe and get overt. Find out where you’re really at. I told her to sit next to me. She resisted then came, leaving a six inch gap between us. I moved her bag out of the way and pulled her in.
Her – “What are you doing?”
Me – “I want you to sit closer.”
Her – “Why?”
Me – “So I can touch you.”
Her – “I don’t want you to touch me.”
Me – “Why not?”
Her – *silence*
Intellectually, I had her pegged as a timewaster but my gut told me it was probably a case of The Rub. She’s a strong-minded greyhound, very pretty, and at 26 years old she’s past the stage of being whisked up on a wave of momentum. So, I gave her The Talk. Daygame Mastery has the explanation, and I phrased it something like this:
“I like you and you know what I want. Now you have to decide what you want. If you decide you just like me as a friend, that’s okay but I will walk out. I won’t be angry, but I don’t have female friends and I don’t want to be your friend. If you are sexually attracted to me and want to be more than friends, that’s great. That’s what I want too.”
She turned and said “I just like meeting you, and practicing English. We’re just friends.”
I looked her dead in the eye and said “Think very carefully before you answer……. Is that what you really want?”
She clammed up and looked into space, thinking furiously. She knew she’d run out of road and it was put-up-or-shut-up time. Obviously she was sexually attracted to me, it wasn’t a friendzone issue. This was purely about her script vs my script. She wanted me to go at her pace and jump through her hoops. I’d just told her I’d jumped through enough hoops and now it was time for her to jump through mine. Would her pride allow it? Did she like me enough to tear up her script, or at least hastily rewrite it to bring the happy ending forwards?
About five minutes passed, while I just sipped beer and watched the wall-mounted TV which played Cheburashka (that’s not embellishment, it really was that show). Then she piped up.
“Nick, I do like you as a man.”
“Okay, kiss me” I said and pulled her in. She resisted and I went stone cold again.
“Not here” she said. Admittedly, it was a crowded bar.
“I will kiss you tonight” I said.
“Yes, okay. Just not here.”
I knew I didn’t have the patience to sit through another hour in the bar and it was getting late so I drank up and told her I’d walk her to the bus stop. She was quite timid and quiet now. As we walked up the main street we passed what my travel buddies had termed the “Ghostbusters building” so I pointed to the staircase leading up to it.
“I’m going to kiss you there” I said and started walking her there. She followed. At the top of the stairs I pulled her in and kissed her. She went floppy for a second and then jumped me. It was like a damn bursting and she was very much into it.
Okay, so it was The Rub all along.
I was alert for any sign that she was ready to be dragged home, but she never let her crotch push into mine and never quite gave the telltale sighs, squeezes and grinds that signal “take me home now”. So I walked her up to the bus stop, gave a soft kiss goodnight and let her go.
* Men who can only ever fuck girls through Fools Mate are probably scratching their heads thinking “Dude, what?”
** Men with 100+ notches are probably nodding their heads at this part of the story. With the benefit of hindsight she was more “on” than I realised, she just wanted to keep the frame.