Steve Jabba’s Purple Pill

October 12, 2015
krauserpua

I was asked in the comments of my previous post whether I could address my areas of disagreement with Steve Jabba, specifically:

“Nick, could you please write an article on Steve Jabba’s purple pill beliefs and mindsets and where some things he says aren’t true which if you have seen his YouTube videos know DO exist. I don’t think it’s fair you point out flaws in other people but not Steve Jabba just because he’s your mate.”

Rather than bury it in the comments, it’s probably worth giving my thoughts a more prominent platform. Ok, my main area of disagreement with Steve is simple: My neck is proportionately bigger than his, where as a percentage of height, weight or ratios. But seriously, let’s first recap my working definition of the Purple Pill given earlier: “a marketing ruse to use the credibility of red pill truths but water them down with blue pill illusions so that the listener isn’t required to stare into the abyss.”

My neck, in Steve's nightmares

My neck, in Steve’s nightmares

The key component of the Purple Pill is not too much reality. We’ll have a little reality so it feels edgy but not too much to make us feel like we’re on the wrong track. Kind of like a girl wanting her boyfriend to have a motorbike but no STDs or criminal record. While I often tell Steve he’s only loosely connected to reality, there are two caveats to that:

  1. He’s written about solipsism before here. The jist is that selectively amplifying or filtering out certain parts of reality can strengthen your frame and improve your success. It’s important to do systematically in the right direction in order to shape your reality, rather than from a position of fear (and thus avoidance).
  2. He’s written about reality before here. Much of successful pick-up is about confronting reality head on and then figuring out how to adapt. Cold approach forces the world to give you accurate feedback on your value and your abilities. There’s no hiding place on the street.

Putting these two together is what some noobs / intermediates struggle to get their head around because they appear to be contradictory. Are you telling me to avoid reality and remain delusional, or to face reality head-on warts and all? Um…… both. You must go out and trigger real feedback and you must process the lessons the world gives you – so, go cold approach. However you must then use that feedback as fuel to power the reconstruction of your identity and as the armour plating on your frame. So having absorbed the reality at the first pass, you can twist reality a little on the second pass.

Think of it like quarantine in a sea port of old. All your new experiences on the street arrive at your boundary control and are placed in quarantine for examination. You get a good look at them but they are not yet allowed into the general population. After some careful consideration the experiences that will enrich your frame are welcomed in and given the red carpet walk. The undesireables are shot in the head and dumped into the sea.

Basically, how we should be handling the migrant crisis.

That outlines what I think some might think of as the reality-denying element of Steve’s “purple pill” writing. It gets quite a long treatment in his book Primal Seduction so there’s a lot more nuance and practical advice on how to do the filtering process.

Secondly, Steve is often accused of the purple pill by way of his pedestalising women and being something of a vagina-worshipper under the cloak of “loving women” (the first of the Eleven Cornerstone Characteristics that forms the centrepiece of Primal Seduction). Ok, let’s address that. This one is easy to get for men who’ve already fucked a ton of women but really tough for those who haven’t. You have to feel it deep in your bones through reference experiences.

Let me tell you the story of losing my virginity. I was sixteen years old and met a girl at a Sepultura concert in Newcastle one night. She was the friend of a girl who was dating my best friend and those two had met a couple of weeks earlier at a Metallica concert. The girls lived about 150 miles away and were here for the weekend, just for the gig. The concert finished and my girl agreed to come home with me (parent’s house) so we were waiting in the centre of Newcastle at 2am for my dad to collect us in the car. One thing led to another and I ended up fucking her in a back alley behind Fenwick’s department store.

My first SNL and first public sex

My first SNL and first public sex

It was horrendous sex, because I had no idea what I was doing. I remember my biggest surprise was how hot, wet and tight she was. My previous “experience” with naked women had been entirely from looking at soft-porn magazines (this was 1991). I knew how they looked but it had never once occured to me how they feel. It never crossed my mind that the vagina isn’t really a hole but is actually a pulsating group of muscles and thus when you stick your dick in it doesn’t feel empty.

Why do I tell you something so vulgar? Because life is full of many situations where being on the outside does not prepare you for what’s on the inside. Another example is when I went to live in Okinawa for a year when I was 24. I’d only ever seen tropical countries on TV and in magazines where they look beautiful. It never occured to me how it feels to be there. The first thing I noticed is they are very itchy places because of the mosquitos and beetles. It’s also very tiring being out in the sun without a bottle of water. Those things surprised me.

Itchy, yesterday

Itchy, yesterday

So it goes with hot girls.

Most men are intimidated by hot girls. We see them as unattainable treasure troves of hotness value and our hormones compell us to pine after them. Even when you get inside some pretty girls, you’re an outsider for the hotter girls. Being on the outside prevents you feeling the reality of being an insider. The best way to feel an insider is to actually fuck and date a hot young girl. Preferably over an extended period of time. Then you get a window into the girl’s life, and how she feels. The first thing that surprised me was she has her own problems.

I’d always thought of women as a problem for me to solve. It was a shift in reality to realise women also have men problems they must solve. It’s like sitting in your WWI trench shitting yourself at how organised the German lines looked, and then suddenly being allowed to sit in those trenches and realise they are shitting themselves at how strong the English lines look. Once you’re inside you get past the fronting and see the real chaos and held-together-with-spit-and-glue nature of people’s lives. Those of you who worked in shops will know the staff experience differs somewhat from the customer experience.

Steve has fucked a lot of hot women so he’s an insider. He’s seen how fragile they can be the next morning as they try to correct their makeup before taking the walk of shame to work. He knows they are often scared (or excitable) little girls in a hot woman’s body, trying to understand and marshall their value while under assault from hundreds of predators trying to relieve them of that value. Often those girls look at men and their insecurities surface, wondering “how can he be so confident? why can’t I be as creative and impressive as him?” Even now it surprises me when I’m on a date with a hottie and she does something that lets slip that she feels like she’s the lucky one to be there.

I think this empathy – which is commonly deeply felt by players with 100+ notch counts of hot young women – is mistaken as pedestalisation by the men who are on the outside. No, we don’t think women are better than men, or special snowflakes. No, we don’t think they lack agency or should receive a “pussy pass” for bad behaviour. No, we don’t think the family court system or job market is fair on men.

We just have a very initimate experience of seeing how these girls live and how they too have problems. You can’t help but get a bit of empathy for them. That empathy is much harder if you’re still at the stage of getting “bitch face” in your nightclub opens. There’s a long chapter in Primal Seduction about empathy and emotional sensitivity.

36 Comments

  1. Bang on the money mr Krauser, although I’m surprised you even bothered to reply to that comment via this blog post as to be quite honest ,you don’t need me to tell you, you don’t have to justify anything to anyone. As I always say “don’t say it do it” which is what guys like yourself and mr jabba do. You go out and put your money where your mouth is and pick up women. Period. Then you get little twats like said poster dissecting and over analysing things and getting lost in game theory but not actually doing any sets. Just sitting at home at mummy’s trying piss all over yours and other guys pick up blogs. Good post though son 👍👍

  2. You don’t have to have 100+ notch counts to realise their insecurities. I saw it every time I was with my ex in private, and experiencing her world directly.
    While I like reading up on the manosphere, I think there are few things in it that I think is very destructive. It’s presenting women as enemies and literal targets to conquer rather than human beings.

    Women really aren’t the enemy (I would also include race in this!). They may seem like alien creatures that lack complete logic, but they actually complement us in many ways and provide balance.

    The real enemy is ourselves and one that we all have to slay every day when we’re out on the streets. It’s not women thats the problem. It’s us.

    • “I would include race in this”

      It seems very naive to me to think that opening the borders to hundreds of thousands of men from countries where attitudes to women appear to be very different makes any sense. If it is true that in some countries women HAVE to cover up and are sort of owned to an extent, then how do you think those men are going to feel seeing women near naked in swimming pools and beaches, and often arrogantly dismissive of any advances they might make.

      You seem like a reasonable and decent guy to me, and that trumps the racial difference. It comes down to compatibility between people and I suspect that some areas/races/groups/cultures of the world are very different and may not get on at all. The liberal blank slate theory is that “underneath it all we are all the same”, its probably not true. And if it that is the case why should the people of Europe be expected to deal, help these people to adapt to a partly alien culture, that they may hate or grow to hate.

      Most of the UK ISIS lot seem to be 2nd generation young men who haven’t assimilated or integrated, I also suspect they are rejected much more by white women and this hurts a lot. It seems that the liberal belief is that white racism is the problem rather than the difficulty of compatibility, and the far less talked about sexual rejection based on race. Its not going to end well. [And don’t forget that massive psychological difference caused by cousin marriage. That said, I’ll only allow mild racial discussion on this blog as it relates to game but that’s it. Anything stronger is Twitter only. K.]

      • Jay,
        Britain is a multicultural country with many nations of differing values and customs living together and have done so in harmony for decades.
        The issue isn’t about opening borders, but about islamophobia. People seem to think being a muslim requires that you’re a terrorist, jihadist, grow a long beard, start wars and have power over women. That’s like saying every English person is a football hooligan, eats fish and chips and drinks cheap beer in a grotty pub every day. You can’t put people in the same box.

        It’s unfortunate that people do and have been a victim of this in the workforce, hence why I’ve been forced into self-employment. All because I carry an islamic surname. [This is too far away from game talk for this blog. You’re welcome to your opinion and you’re a mate, but this isn’t the venue for it. K.]

    • The manosphere presents women as cold alien creatures who are rock solid perfection machines hell bent on destroying men. I find Rollo Tomassi to be pretty bleak and he seems to have gone past my line in the sand with a recent post on how sexbots will make women disposable. What nonsense. Nothing beats the warm touch of a woman.
      Yes it is healthy to understand how woman can be ruthless, prone to hypergamy etc. but not obsess about it or become bitter about it. Krauser has a good podcast on this called Vibe Protection. I have now knocked the manosphere blogs on the head. I am aware of them and glad to have this awareness but eventually it is the same material recycled. No need I believe to read it passed one year. Real life experience is far more valuable.
      It is eye opening and shocking when you see hot girls at their most fragile state especially for the first time with their ‘masks’ off.

      This summer a 22 year old intern hottie started in my job so I gamed her. As we were out one time for drinks as I was about to kiss close – she broke down and told me that she has severe anxiety and dropped a semester out of college because of it. I never expected that from such an attractive girl. She also told me she has panic attacks.
      Girls are human too – and their world is tough as they face constant bitchiness and back stabbing from other girls, they face male sexual predators and they are also under immense social pressure to look a certain way. On top of that ad din diet restrictions, trying to forge a career and eventually find a suitable man to have kids before time runs out. Of course to talk like this is blue pill / beta weakness. Meh!

  3. Good of you to tackle this, whether he puts women on a pedestal or not is one issue (I don’t think its such a big deal personally, after all if we didn’t value women why would we spend such an inordinate time chasing them, its ultimately a matter of degree and not a binary state) … however, what irks me about Jabba’s advice is how he seems to have a reliance on approaching girls after receiving an IOI. I grant you its fantastic if you get an IOI but how many IOIs is an average man going to get (I assume most men on here are not exceptionally good looking)? Even if you are good looking, if you are walking around all afternoon, you may get 3 or 4 IOIs. They may or may not be from women you are interested in .. they also are probably not from 9s/10s who are not in a place of scarcity at all themselves and therefore are not consciously or subconsciously looking at guys on the street. This strategy right from the off puts power in the hands of the women to act as a selector which is not what a confident self assured man would do … you assume interest even from women who are on the opposite side of the street and haven’t seen you yet … that is the mindset of a player. I suspect despite Jabba’s exploits this is a clever weasel designed to protect the ego which has been built around his player image … that is what he feels makes him valuable and therefore he is adopting a highly risk averse set of stratagems designed to reduce the rejection rate. To teach other men this is poisoning the well & likely to result in guys walking around for hours opening 2 sets as they were waiting for an IOI!

    • I use forcing and approaching off IOI´s as part of an overall approaching strategy. I´ve written about this at length both on my blog and written and talked about it in my products. I also corrected you in one of my most recent blog posts about this very subject.

      It obviously “irks” you because you keep going around the internet posting falsehoods about me. Stop it.

      • Well, you seem to put a heavy reliance on approaching women on an IOI. Logically speaking, why would you care if a women gives you an IOI before approaching, unless you were trying to improve your chance of success per approach, or to look at it the other way around reduce your chance of rejection per approach. Its as simple as that.

        In addition, you recently posted an article entitled ‘The Crocodile Vs The Lion’ on your blog which is a related idea. To summarise you suggest sitting around in a coffee shop doing some unrelated activity and waiting for a girl you find attractive to appear before forcing an IOI (again going back to waiting for an IOI) .. you do then say if she doesn’t give you an IOI, you would approach her. This again sounds like someone who is indulging in avoidance. How many attractive single girls are you going to find like this sitting around for the best part of a day .. one, perhaps two? It smacks of a weasel a newbie to intermediate often has, in fact its remarkably close to one many of us have had, something along the lines of “I’ll just go and read some of this great novel I’ve got with me in that nice coffee house”.

        On 26th Sept. you wrote a blog post entitled ‘Cold Approaching Is A Muscle’ where you yourself said “I havn´t (sic) cold approached women consistently in quite a long time, maybe over 3 years. I´ve been working hard on my new business, I´ve had girlfriends, plus I´ve been living in places where it´s difficult. Some places really DO lend themselves to cold approaching in a convenient way where others do not (beach resorts are very different to old towns in Eastern Europe, for example)”. Come on dude .. THREE years you haven’t done a single cold approach! You haven’t seen ONE cute girl waiting at a station, or walking on the other side of the road and you didn’t have 5 minutes to spare to chat to her? Where have you been hanging out .. Siberia?

        Taking all this into consideration one can only assume you have developed a complex set of interrelated weasels, or a meta weasel, which you probably don’t even realise yourself. I can understand why this might have happened, you have created an identity as a master player, by your own self admission you have dedicated your life to pursuing women and haven’t achieved in other areas, therefore a rejection to you is a personal reflection of your own self worth.

        Now frankly I don’t really care what you personally do (be a “crocodile” rather than a “lion” if you want Steve) .. but I think you are putting others, namely newbies, on the wrong track by projecting out your own insecurities out through your material. Most are only too glad when someone presents them with an easy solution .. which is really just avoidance dressed up.

      • Steve…..this twat “zatara” is just some freeloading parasite. He’s on ramipua’s youtube channel trying to blag a freebie lol. Wouldn’t listen to what comes out of his cock gobbling mouth 😂

  4. I question the assumption that all pussy is higher value than all c0ck. I believe that this is one of Mr. Jabba’s assumptions. Correct me if I’m wrong.

    I’m old school. IDGAS about sexual economics which involves distribution fallacies. I’m talking about the thinking that all eggs are higher value than all semen because eggs are rarer than sperm.

    First, a man can impregnate one woman every three days, on average. It takes a while for sperm to build up to impregnation levels after sex. So, a man is fertile about 1/3 of the time while a woman is fertile five days a month, or 1/6 of the time, assuming that she isn’t pregnant. The reproductive value of men and women isn’t all that far apart. Ok, she hits the reproductive wall at about 40. Her eggs are available for 27 years, let’s say. One third of her life. A man’s sperm is available for 68 years after childhood, or 80% of his life. So, assuming commoditization of eggs and sperm, we end up with eggs being more valuable than sperm–1/18th of a woman’s life is fertile v. about 1/4th of a mans’ life being fertile.

    My seed is high value and isn’t a commodity. Think of the sexual economics of champion male animals–their owners can command premium payment for animal semen because the donors were champions. The same concept applies to high value men. Semen isn’t a commodity.

    Gamer Maxim: “Pussy is just pussy.” This encompasses the following ideas. I’m the high value prize. Women aren’t worth spending a lot of effort on. No woman, no matter how beautiful, is anyone to be afraid of. Sex has its place, but isn’t too high a priority. My mission has top priority.

    • Yes you are wrong. Don´t know where you got that idea from, I´ve never said anything of the sort. It´s kind of a bizarre thing to say, to be frank. I think you just made that one up mate!

      I have said “you are not the prize” when you approach because I believe the idea that you are “the prize” is mental masturbation of the highest order. We each bring our own value to the table. However, women ARE the choosers, like it or not. That does not mean that I think of us men as a lower order species, that´s just dealing with the reality of cold / warm approach.

      • Thanks for the correction, Mr. Jabba. I misunderstood you, I guess.

        You call the notion that a man is the prize to be “mental masturbation”, but “fake it til you make it” has been proven successful time and time again. And what about men who regularly command attention from lovely women? Don’t those women perceive those men as the prize? Of course they do! When a man has a history of being chosen by lovely women, then he knows that he is the prize. Not every woman will see him as the prize, but he has assurance that many will.

        We men choose whom we approach and sometimes women approach us as well. Men do filtering, too.

      • Krauser, this is your cue to admit that Keynes was wrong about the free market but correct about eugenics, and Jeffersonian idealism has our world in the mess it’s currently in.

        Not all men are created equal.

        On another note, I was recently taking a multivariable calculus and performing miserably. Then I realized why many, but not all, analysis-heavy STEM majors (engineering and computer science included) struggle with women. Unlike the memorize-and-persuade technique of the humanities and social sciences, the rigidity of complex math doesn’t allow you to forge an identity of your own. Every number you stare at is just one more moment you could’ve spent becoming a lexicon-savvy lieutenant. The money is fabulous though. It almost makes me feel pain for East Asian men for getting pigeonholed into that box, because no amount of money can buy visibility. Blessed be those who can integrate (function, not voting booth) AND seduce.

        My calculus teacher had Benjamin Franklin’s haircut, so there’s that reoccuring theme.

        Just curious about you Steve, and Krauser. What are your approach-to-lay ratios, respectively?

    • Dick is cheap and abundant but high value dick is scarce. High value dick>pussy>majority of dick.

  5. I don´t understand what fake it until you make it has to do with what we are talking about here?

    I mean simply: to get a woman into bed, it´s been my experience that the majority of the time it is the man who has to lead her through the seduction process. Of course, both sexes get something out of it, but it´s not accurate for the man to think of himself as the prize in the sense of laying there, lazily clicking his fingers and having 3 18 year olds sauntering over to suck his giant white cock whilst he attends to his important “mission” / business and eats grapes. Doesn´t work that way.

    I am not unused to commanding attention from lovely women myself, and yes I filter too: on any given day I screen out about probably 90%+ of young women in some parts of Eastern Europe on looks alone before I´ll approach. Still doesn´t make me “the prize”. For the girls I like, I have to approach and follow the sequence and do it well and show my value to her. If she doesn´t go for it, as you say, I am confident that others will as I´ve got a ton of reference experiences and memories to back up my belief.

    Still, none of this makes me the prize. It doesn´t mean that I think of yourself as less worthy to have to go through this process…It´s just the way it is. That´s what dudes have to do.

    • Steve, I’ve posted about Sexual Macrodynamics on my blog. You can find it easiest thru the Key Concepts grouping. There’s a lot of back and forth in mating…DHV by both the man and the woman…flirting both ways (sexualization)…kino both ways (sexualization & comfort)…5h1t-testing (which is similar to squirrels grappling)…dominance display by the man…submission display by the woman…instigation…isolation…escalation. ASD and LMR can be avoided/minimized by rapport, comfort, and validation, but rapport doesn’t produce tingles. What we’re discussing is mating, not seduction. Seduction hearkens back to women as the chaste sex.

      Men have to bear the lion’s share of the load, but mating requires a lot of active participation by women.

      • If you’re trying to talk about mating, then it comes down to females only choosing the winners. A man has to truly believe and behave like he’s a winner, then if the female even subconsciously perceives him to be a winner she will participate in the mating dance. In that regard top-grade sperm is more valuable than even good pussy.

        “You are the prize” is a totally valid and very natural frame, but at the wrong end it’s mental masturbation because it’s ultimately an attempt to protect your ego from deflation using arrogance, whereas men who ARE the prize (the winners) are very relaxed about it and know that while not every female will deem him to be the right winner for her, a good number will and he will find them soon enough.

  6. “No, we don’t think women are better than men, or special snowflakes. No, we don’t think they lack agency or should receive a “pussy pass” for bad behaviour. No, we don’t think the family court system or job market is fair on men.”

    He has claimed to be a feminist, or at least denied he shares the manosphere opposition to feminism. Is he aware that 99% of feminists would like to personally castrate him after watching his spanish girl kiss close video? Or would that be interfering with his state? Should the reality that feminists are introducing ever more ludicrous ‘sexual harassment’ laws be filtered out, or does pragmatic self-preservation trump even notch counts at the end of the day? [99%? Really? You need a break from the manosphere. K.]

  7. I love Steve’s teachings. I never thought them to be purple pill at all. I think Krauser is right saying that these guys are just not in the “inside” and don’t understand. One of the biggest issues I think these guys have with Steve is that he is a pretty good looking dude. One of the most alpha good looking PUA’s out there. (No homo.) When he says “force IOIs,” students don’t want to hear that. Most pickup readers are not or don’t think they are good looking enough. They go into pick up to learn the verbal skills, or other tricks, they can use to seduce a woman into bed. They don’t think they could ever be someone like Steve. It’s partly envy. These are low lever beginners that just don’t comprehend and misconstrue what Steve teaches. Maybe they will never understand and be in the inside. Fuck ’em.

    • In reality, looking good is very important. I have good game, possibly better than my well dressed muscular friend with Ryan Gosling face, but he gets better reactions, this means better vibe, more competition anxiety from girls, more SMV difference – lower quality fucks him quickly anyway…for him it’s “show interest-fuck” or “pretend to date for a while-fuck” He has no ” formal game”. I move to that direction slowly, but probably never will have that success. He doesn’t even understand when I ask how he does it…I feel suboptimal fundamentals always drag you down and the bar should be set higher than it is. In terms of hypertrophy, grooming and style. Then the technical process can be quite simple and “natural”, all mindsets are pretty easily adopted etc. He isn’t douchebag. Just relentless practitioner. Gym every other day, clothes etc. Maxed out looks and great vibe.

  8. Being able to hold a maximum amount of data into a cohesive whole is truth, and we also need to maximize our happiness.

    It would seem from what I read in the sphere that only a very small minority of men experience love in their lives. This remains difficult for me to comprehend. And when I talk of living a lifestyle that includes all the warm and fuzzy feelings, people can’t seem to believe that I’m not totally off my rocker. Love?! How can I love women!

    But for me the quality of life enhancement that comes from affection and yes even being in love is such a huge boost that I can confidently and arrogantly claim that a life without oxytocin is a life dedicated to fail. It is deliberately loosing at life.

    So we have truth and adjusting our attitude within the framework of truth in order to maximize happiness.

    I’ve recently come across this one sentence persuasion course which I think explains a great deal of the common attitude of banding together and treating women as the enemy:

    People will do anything for those who encourage their dreams, justify their failures, allay their fears, confirm their suspicions and help them throw rocks at their enemies. The One Sentence Persuasion Course

    Return of Kings especially exemplifies the one sentence persuasion course. Basically it explains that our failures are the bitches fault.

    I find it disgusting that men are being counselled away from maximizing happiness. If you can’t love the bitches, then it’s dedicated to fail.

    • True. Men come for the sex, but stay for the affection and “love” – all that cuddly warm shit.

      An emotionally and sexually fulfilling relationship is just as worthwhile as 10 notches with hot but bitchy women you don’t particularly care for or like.

      Every man should experience both sides of the coin in their live times.

  9. Good post. There’s a parallel in martial arts training common in the USA.
    Many students just punch & kick air, or play tag with puffy pads, but never strike a solid target with full power
    (let alone feel the impact of a powerful punch, even just on a focus mitt).
    Then they think they are ready to win a street fight… when really they are just a somewhat fit/agile dancer.
    But they sure can talk about fighting and argue with you about it …

    Blogs like this one are gold for so many of us.
    Thanks Krauser. I need to re-read your books.

  10. Well covered Nick (being the one who wrote the comment) I really enjoyed the article, covered a lot. And respect to Steve for taking my comment light heartedly, anyone saying I’m a keyboard warrior weasling, is wrong I have my on YouTube channel called streetseduction game, and can promise I fuck young hot girls

  11. I can´t reply to Zatara´s lengthy comment, but just to say, I think it´s more likely a gamma ferret. I´m getting confused with all these weasels!

  12. Steve is a decent pua with some reasonable advice but as another poster mentioned he relies on ioi’s the majority of the time. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be an average guy and chase super hotties. It’s almost impossible to do regularly.

    Krauser,Torero etc are average guys who have experienced(and still most likely do) a huge amount of mental /emotional strain. They really work for what they’re getting. Steve (and this is honesty,no shit stirring) has game on easy mode. It’s completely different levels of ‘game’.

  13. Krauser this is an excellent post. Once again, you have articulated my thoughts for what I’ve recently instinctively felt and learned.

    I agree with Onder’s comment that it does not take 100 notches to develop this sense of empathy.

    After being in the Game for a few years and getting to double digit notches, I entered a 1.5 year relationship with a 25 year girl who was pretty, feminine and affectionate. Choosing the red pill path of freedom instead of the on-going constraints and obligations of am LTR, I recently broke up with her which was a tough thing to do.

    During the relationship, one of my biggest changes I’ve noticed in myself is the aloofness and coldness of the player front had definitely softened. This is the optimal “Game” in a healthy relationship despite being an R-selected boyfriend. More comfort, authentic communication, emotional bonding and less assholeness because the girl already likes you. Of course, the normal principles of Game like dominance, non-neediness, leading etc still apply.

    During the LTR, you get a window into a pretty girl’s life like you said; all her life problems, insecurities and emotional vulnerabilities. At the end of this LTR, I found myself much more empathetic and found myself with a more holistically “humanist” view on women. They are human beings with their own self esteem issues and feelings, despite their high value derived from youth and beauty.

    That hot 22 year old girl you see sauntering down the street who looks like she has her shit together is human and vulnerable like everybody else. Many she’s new to the city, or looking for job, or stressed about her ill grandpa, trying to figure out what to do with her life, trying to get over a previously abusive ex-bf, etc.

    This allows me to approach and Game them accordingly instead of putting them on any pedestal.

    What I’m trying to say is that an LTR experience can also enhance a player’s deep understanding of the female psyche, which translates to stronger inner game and confidence at its conclusion. This also translates into a healthier outlook and genuine appreciation / love for women in general, instead of seeing them simply as walking vaginas.

    • The skills you learn in Game doesn’t translate well to relationships. It’s a completely different skill set. So things like listening, empathy, understanding, affection etc. are required.
      The manosphere mistakes this for being beta when it isn’t. They’ve literally taken the whole game concepts too far and clearly have no idea about what it means to be in a healthy relationship.

      Once you have the core masculine traits down, you can still show other elements without putting across weakness. You’re doing it from a position of strength. Almost like a father taking care of their children. You’re essentially a rock that they can fall back on for safety and comfort.

  14. I’ve recently “unplugged” and have been doing game (trying to at least) for a little bit of time and have spent time on the manosphere as well. I watched your video about vibe control and you said to stay off the manosphere and things that are negative to keep your vibe in a good state. I have been gaming this bird for a few weeks now and been banging her. What I find is that when I do read the manosphere in my spare time it makes me feel like she/women are somehow out to get me. It isn’t pleasant at all. Now my question is do you think this is because of the manosphere itself or because of the betaness that I may still have?

  15. Interesting post. The idea of “Empathy” as part of game is something I hadn’t really thought of. Before losing game I was often “Enmeshed” with a girl predicating my feelings on her moods…it’s co-dependence.

    Now the concept of being more self-aware also means putting yourself in her position and thinking…what’s motivating her at this point? This is a key aspect of “calibration”.

    What I’ve always appreciated about Krauser’s ideas is that they’re about understanding the structure not memorizing the steps…because if you spike attraction with a neg and suddenly the girl is interested, you can move into the comfort phase quicker instead of just constantly negging. But some girls shit test more and love banter, some are more introspective and want to see more of what’s behind the curtain.

    Purple pill? I think the sticking point to my own game isn’t a “hybrid” of blue and red it’s more about calibration which comes from being more self-aware and understanding of what you want.

    After a 9 month surge where I banged 9 hot girls and made out with a series of others…I took a little break from gaming and just started to calibrate my game to see what I was doing.

    It’s interesting because I’ve now seen how I could have escalated recently and didn’t. In other words I didn’t lead so the interactions went no where.

  16. I also witnessed in myself and more so in my “player” friend who has a bit of reputation around college how the strength, positivity and charm transforms the girl’s behaviour. “Bitchy” girls can’t help but smile and play along after some resistance, because his vibe is constantly up. What you feel she feels and comes back for more. And these guys have choice, therefore aren’t really concerned about girl’s faithfulness. Also, they know deep in their core she won’t find better and she’s anxious about losing them. If they decide for relationship, of course. I’d describe his pickup as fearless, childlike physical escalation coupled with humour and great vibe throughout. Like a kid who does something that isn’t allowed but everyone forgives.

    • For example, me, I sometimes draw a boundary when a girl acts “bitchy” for no reason. The boundary is a real, instinctive reaction. But even if it’s an adequate boundary, the other guy with higher value and better vibe who uses no “teasing” at all and simply escalates like a child may not ever trigger the girl’s defensiveness or competitiveness – which makes her unnatractive – like I do through my lower vibe of the day caused by work issues or some latent insecurity about my ability to keep a girl of top caliber.
      What I’m saying is that “PUA” strategies, even “positive” and “congruent”, like teasing, push/pull are probably still suboptimal compared to a chill, positive, childlike, sexual vibe of a sorted, “high value” male. [Only pay attention to someone’s game if he’s getting YHT. As soon as you’re dealing with a hypergamy gap, you don’t need game. K.]

      • Simultaneously, the lower the guy’s value, the harder is to show love/real feelings/vulnerability. If there is no chink in your armour, it’s easier to be open about intentions and feelings.But this “PUA alpha” position of emotional control, while to an extent necessary, especially if you show love and she walks over you, can be also very poor and ineffective, because to an extent you are not forcing her to show the cards and you may waste your time/lose respect of the girl.

      • Yes, he fits the bill for what you said in Mastery. Great at escalation and closing. That said, I do pay attention to how he became high value in looks/body/life direction. They often have powerful mindsets and many of “cornerstone characteristics”.

    • I had a girl i’m banging over the other night to cook and chill. The last time we met up was 2 weeks ago and I didn’t bang her because I was just too tired. She made it clear then she was up for it but I didn’t escalate. This time I escalated. She made it 100% clear from her actions she wanted me to bang her. The way she sat, the way she lowered her voice and pitch, the way her mannerisms became more submissive.

      The idea here is that man must lead or nothing will happen. So you do need game. The idea of “purple pill” vs red or blue is more about mindset. If you don’t have that Red Pill dominant mindset then you will not accept or believe AWALT and you will be angry, discouraged and otherwise living in a world of false hope.

      The little break I took from game which included not escalating was a little experiment. The opportunities I missed were such that I just didn’t escalate. I was in that sense a “chode”…having a great conversation with a girl that went absolutely no where. When I applied some game—teasing the responses were more positive. I think this idea of checking to see if my game was real was interesting for me to confirm the realities of the importance of game.

  17. Great post. If there’s anything I’d say about Steve Jabba’s game as he presents it on his blog, is that it really comes across as the thoughts of man who’s gone out there, had a load of experiences and come to his own conclusions. It’s been really gratifying once I got to a point where I was consistently getting dates and banging new girls, to be able to freely question any pua ideologies – and get my own answers – not on websites but out there for real

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