It’s been cold down on the south coast of Spain these past two days. Bleak grey skies, howling wind, and rain lashing against the pavement as I sit inside a beach-front cafe watching the world go by. Yes, I’m sure your heart bleeds for me. I was sitting there sipping coffee, enjoying a rare break from my 24/7 “immersion experience” in the real-life Steve Jabba Show (ahem), when I began a reverie. Introverts like myself really need some time each day to just stare off into the distance and let thoughts turn over and organise themselves. This time my mind turned towards one question:
What do all effective seducers have in common?
I don’t mean the guy in your group of mates who does better than everybody else with girls. I mean a real live seducer who does well by objective standards. Twenty-plus girls a year of good quality, or single digits of exceptional quality. Is there a common characteristic. I think there is.
They are all exceptional at something.
None of these men are mediocre in mind, body and spirit. Each man will have a different cocktail of attributes so that a weakness in one area is compensated by a strength in others. Just to rattle off an anonymous analysis of some effective seducers I have met (and don’t necessarily like, but I recognise their abilities) and the key area each is exceptional in. Each bullet point describes a different man:
- Ripped and jacked physique
- Entertaining and impressive verbal dexterity
- Tall, dark and handsome
- Looks like a heart-throb celebrity e.g. Ben Affleck or Benecio Del Toro (an acquired taste, but it works for him)
- Unflappable demeanour in all situations
- Socialite with extremely high levels of social savvy and social engineering
- Very rich
- Genius level IQ backed by wide-reading in arts, philosophy and science
- Psychopathic manipulator with no sense of shame
- Adrenalin junkie with thrill-seeking reckless disregard for his own life
- Adventurous traveller with a million funny stories and a gregarious nature
What you’ll notice from that list is that every single guy has something about him is is waaaaaay to the right-hand side of the bell curve in something. They are exceptional men. Some of them are exceptionally lucky, some of them exceptional cunts. But exceptional nonetheless. Respect the hustle. Here is a portrait of a man who is never an effective seducer:
Works in a mid-level cubicle job from 9 to 5, goes home to watch TV, has a few pints on Friday night, then watches the football on the weekend.
Most of you will now be racking your brains for just what it is you’re exceptional at. Does Call Of Duty multiplayer count? No, sorry. In my case, although my body, face, family background, schooling and social class were all handed to me in a box marked “mediocre” I did get lucky in one key element – an exceptional brain. If you’re one of the multitude of men who weren’t born exceptional and life chances didn’t encourage you further, take solace that there is always one thing you can become exceptional at:
If you’re willing to commit yourself to it, you can become exceptional through sheer work-rate. You can become one of those men who methodically and relentlessly studies the method, grinds it out on the streets, and constantly re-evaluates himself week-to-week until through sheer determination he can rewire himself into an effective seducer. There’s a few people on the London scene who did exactly that and are now reaping the benefits of sexual abundance. So, if you are not exceptional now it’s a good time to design your “become exceptional plan.” Make 2015 your year. I’ll leave you with two Sherlock Holmes quotes that I read as a teenager and have stayed with me since:
My life is spent in one long effort to escape from the commonplaces of existence.
Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius.