It’s been cold down on the south coast of Spain these past two days. Bleak grey skies, howling wind, and rain lashing against the pavement as I sit inside a beach-front cafe watching the world go by. Yes, I’m sure your heart bleeds for me. I was sitting there sipping coffee, enjoying a rare break from my 24/7 “immersion experience” in the real-life Steve Jabba Show (ahem), when I began a reverie. Introverts like myself really need some time each day to just stare off into the distance and let thoughts turn over and organise themselves. This time my mind turned towards one question:
What do all effective seducers have in common?
I don’t mean the guy in your group of mates who does better than everybody else with girls. I mean a real live seducer who does well by objective standards. Twenty-plus girls a year of good quality, or single digits of exceptional quality. Is there a common characteristic. I think there is.
They are all exceptional at something.
None of these men are mediocre in mind, body and spirit. Each man will have a different cocktail of attributes so that a weakness in one area is compensated by a strength in others. Just to rattle off an anonymous analysis of some effective seducers I have met (and don’t necessarily like, but I recognise their abilities) and the key area each is exceptional in. Each bullet point describes a different man:
- Ripped and jacked physique
- Entertaining and impressive verbal dexterity
- Tall, dark and handsome
- Looks like a heart-throb celebrity e.g. Ben Affleck or Benecio Del Toro (an acquired taste, but it works for him)
- Unflappable demeanour in all situations
- Socialite with extremely high levels of social savvy and social engineering
- Very rich
- Genius level IQ backed by wide-reading in arts, philosophy and science
- Psychopathic manipulator with no sense of shame
- Adrenalin junkie with thrill-seeking reckless disregard for his own life
- Adventurous traveller with a million funny stories and a gregarious nature
What you’ll notice from that list is that every single guy has something about him is is waaaaaay to the right-hand side of the bell curve in something. They are exceptional men. Some of them are exceptionally lucky, some of them exceptional cunts. But exceptional nonetheless. Respect the hustle. Here is a portrait of a man who is never an effective seducer:
Works in a mid-level cubicle job from 9 to 5, goes home to watch TV, has a few pints on Friday night, then watches the football on the weekend.
Most of you will now be racking your brains for just what it is you’re exceptional at. Does Call Of Duty multiplayer count? No, sorry. In my case, although my body, face, family background, schooling and social class were all handed to me in a box marked “mediocre” I did get lucky in one key element – an exceptional brain. If you’re one of the multitude of men who weren’t born exceptional and life chances didn’t encourage you further, take solace that there is always one thing you can become exceptional at:
If you’re willing to commit yourself to it, you can become exceptional through sheer work-rate. You can become one of those men who methodically and relentlessly studies the method, grinds it out on the streets, and constantly re-evaluates himself week-to-week until through sheer determination he can rewire himself into an effective seducer. There’s a few people on the London scene who did exactly that and are now reaping the benefits of sexual abundance. So, if you are not exceptional now it’s a good time to design your “become exceptional plan.” Make 2015 your year. I’ll leave you with two Sherlock Holmes quotes that I read as a teenager and have stayed with me since:
My life is spent in one long effort to escape from the commonplaces of existence.
Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius.
January 21, 2015 at 7:29 pm
Winners win with strength, discipline and intelligence. Losers win with guile, treachery and theft. Equalism encourages worst in humanity”
Devil’s advocate – isn’t it true that “guile” is part and parcel of “strength” and “intelligence’
Wherever you see strength you also see guile, manipulation, treachery. You are setting up a false dichotomy where there is none
You yourself wrote around 2013 that “Alpha” by definition means “Winning” – which includes “Winning by any means necessary.” The sucker punch could potentially qualify as Alpha, you wrote back then, but you thought this was “broken” however. (A broken man)
Isn’t it true that a more accurate understanding of the world is the following –
‘Winners” TAKE – through natural talents and abilities but also through manipulation, guile, and yes, theft – because when you are stronger you can just steal
“Losers’ get taken – because they are weaker and less blessed with the genetics of Winners. Losers will also want to steal, but you can’t blame them. Because it’s their only shot at getting anything in life, and the Winners are doing the same thing
Machiavelli saw this as the natural bifurcation of men There were only “two humours” . The winners want greatness – the losers want comfort and security. The winners can’t imagine anyone would want less than greatness, the losers can’t imagine anyone would want more. These two humours are by definition at odds with each other. The winners must hide their true malignity from the masses (The losers) because they losers will steal everything from them if they could,
This is what justifies the Winners taking by any means necessary. Which includes theft, guile, deceit [Interesting, but arguing at cross-purposes because of a different concept of winning. For my tweet, I mean simply that in the battle for survival and replication, you can win by excelling in those things that represent the best of men (winners) or in those that represent the worst (losers). These are moral categories and are mirrored by people’s visceral reaction to honest open competition vs backroom double-crosses – tied to group survival strategies, which require trust. What you advance is based on an amoral outlook, and thus not really the same topic. From a truly amoral view, anything is a winner so long as the DNA continues (biological view) or it has more pleasure than pain (hedonistic view). That’s not what I’m getting at. I’m basically saying that Lefties are untrustworthy cunts who can only win by deception. K.]
January 21, 2015 at 8:01 pm
Just finished Balls Deep. The intellectual mastery section at the end of the book was an eye-opener. As a historian I’ve worked my knowledge into conversations with women, but always tried to avoid saying to much so as not to come across as a boring academic. The idea of weaving that knowledge into a cohesive story that exhibits attractive, masculine traits is excellent. While grinding through more sets and dates, and reflecting on my progress, this will defnitiely be a feature of my game going forward. [Thanks boss. US-style game sometimes belittles the value of intelligence. I believe it can be weaponised. A good brain is as attractive as a good body, for obvious biological reasons, it just isn’t as immediately apparent to the girl that you have one. K.]
January 21, 2015 at 8:14 pm
Very good article. Just wondering what do you think is that ‘special something’ in other great seducers like Tom Torero, Steve Jabba, Jon Matrix etc. [Tom is super-smart, incredibly resilient to failure, and assimilates new information faster than the Borg. Steve has a great physique, laser-like focus, and is a natural predator. Jon has a good face, unflappable nature, and great ability to implement a plan. K.]
January 21, 2015 at 9:33 pm
Ripped and jacked physique – Steve Jabba
Entertaining and impressive verbal dexterity – Tom Torero
Tall, dark and handsome – Jon Matrix
Looks like a heart-throb celebrity – Paul Janka
Unflappable demeanour in all situations – James Marshall
Socialite with extremely high levels of social savvy and social engineering – Bexter
Very rich – ?
Genius level IQ backed by wide-reading in arts, philosophy and science – Krauser
Psychopathic manipulator with no sense of shame – Mystery
Adrenalin junkie with thrill-seeking reckless disregard for his own life – ?
Adventurous traveller with a million funny stories and a gregarious nature – Jambone?
Anyone care to fill in the blanks? [Some hits, some misses. K.]
January 23, 2015 at 2:37 pm
Uncle Wattie, it’s really crucial that you don’t place all of the guys who are good at this up on a pedestal. Seducing and sleeping with girls isn’t difficult and doesn”t require any special attributes to do it – You can do it too. You’re no different to all of the other well known guys in the community. All thats required is in your own self belief of the things i’ve just said. Work towards your strengths and you’ll be fine.
January 23, 2015 at 6:35 pm
Cheers pal. Indeed I can do it. Did it on Tuesday (two and a half times)!
February 9, 2015 at 5:56 pm
“Genius level IQ backed by wide-reading in arts, philosophy and science – ”
Seems like Vox.
“Entertaining and impressive verbal dexterity” Heartiste/Roissy.
“Adventurous traveller with a million funny stories and a gregarious nature ” Roosh.
“Psychopathic manipulator with no sense of shame ” Julien.
Would be my guesses.
January 22, 2015 at 10:50 am
Pussy ALWAYS swims upwards – what many men don’t realize is that those guys with massive Game have worked on it to such a degree that they have become exceptional men able to attract women. However I might add one point to the mix – there are countless exceptional men who don’t attract women – you still have to put yourself out there and incorporate women in your desired lifestyle – either through countless approaches, excellent social circle Game or just through being at the right place where you are bound to attract the desired targets.
Spot on about excellence – Game does not change the brutal reality of the sexual market place.
January 22, 2015 at 3:43 pm
One idea or concept that I internalized last year is that you have to WANT to be good with women, meaning you have to know or understand game on some level.
It’s taken me 5 years to be confident enough to go for what I want not just game randomly and then take what ever I can get.
The results are clear. Mid-way through last year I reached a point of “Zen” in my mind….I knew I could do it so I dropped all the intentions of banging any more 6’s and just aimed high.
Now the girls I meet are all 7’s and under 30 with one exception–a 36 year old who looks young and was incredibly feminine and sweet. But then I realize to her I’m a rock star even though she’s hot, she’s old…er.
The younger ones look up to me as well but not because they want to settle….because they want a more mature guy who will distinguish himself from the dudes their age.
This again is hypergamy—girls trading “up” based on their perceptions of my “value”.
But none of this is “natural”…it takes work: keeping in shape, continuing my own pursuits of excellence, finding positive and high-value friends etc.
January 24, 2015 at 8:00 pm
“It just happens” – her being attracted to a guy much older than her – heh.
January 23, 2015 at 11:27 am
None of my business, but what are you doing at the South Coast of Spain these days? I can’t imagine it’s for chasing birds (we all know there’s better places for that) or weather (as you mentioned), so I’d guess you chaps are doing some sort of work-retreat. More products for sigma wolf coming up? [Just a holiday. Most of my writing is game, but most of my life is not. K.]
January 24, 2015 at 10:31 am
inspiring post, K.
January 24, 2015 at 10:38 am
“US-style game sometimes belittles the value of intelligence. I believe it can be weaponised. A good brain is as attractive as a good body, for obvious biological reasons, it just isn’t as immediately apparent to the girl that you have one.”
i gotta remember this. whatever it takes to make her feel inferior to me, i gotta use. no mercy.
January 24, 2015 at 8:03 pm
“Weaponised intelligence for seduction” – that line is so very true. I do believe that women are attracted to intelligence and you can mesmerize them by story-telling, but most of just by being able to simply seduce her via highly intelligent cues. K putting out remarkable stuff in the comments.
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January 25, 2015 at 8:30 pm
US style game seems to have been wrapped up into being a caveman for it’s most part. I’d say it says a lot about the type of women that exist in the US (correlating with the way Julian Blanc acts whilst being very successful). European women just have more about them, hence why you can ‘weaponise intelligence for seduction’ as you put it. Is half of the list, guys from RSG?
May 17, 2015 at 4:57 pm
There has been a subtle shift in Survival/Replication qualifiers in the US market for brains over brawn. Depending on whether a Yank is on the gaining or losing end of that shift, he can thank/curse the rise of personal, portable technology in the marketplace. Devaluation of a college degree notwithstanding, working in a STEM field is a better pathway to high performing betatude. IMO there is also a spillover into r-selection Game.
Should I feel sorry for the Gamma pack who is facing stiffer competition? Haha…no.
February 2, 2015 at 5:30 pm
Interesting how there’s no mention of the fem-centric stalwarts such as sense of humour, kindness, sensitivity, etc.
Sense of humour’s an interesting one – it seems like it should be napalm but it somehow never is – partly because it humanises you too much I think, then again Russell Brand.
Another one is a kind of leadership type thing – like the boss, even a mundane guy if he ramps up the asshole boss thing. Just pure status I suppose – which can be very situational. I’m thinking more Tony Soprano than Bill Gates. [Brand relies on the fame game now, so his current conduct should not be a guide. Look at his old stuff, when he relied upon charisma. K.]
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