Every aspiring daygamer learns a lot about scarcity and abundance as his journey progresses. In the beginning he feels a simple scarcity – “not fucking any hot birds right now” – and a simple abundance – “I’m learning how to drum up new leads”. Join these contrasting feelings and you explain fifty percent of a noob’s internal dialogue (approach anxiety is the other half). Over time the scarity/abundance balance shifts as both your expectations and successes rise. Now the scarcity is complex – “I’m not fucking as many hot birds as other daygamers” – and the abundance is too – “I’ll never lose the ability to generate new leads”.
This leads to a situation I called concealed scarcity (in Mastery), or Daygamer Guilt. You become so used to opening, so keen to accumulate notches at an every-faster rate, and so into the identity of being a player that you feel bad every time you don’t open. The emotional rollercoaster continues with it’s ups and downs. Just recently I’ve realised there’s an additional temporal layer to scarcity/abundance, as I’ve gone through three stages.
- London is a steady evergreen daygame city where you are guaranteed to find some solo 7s, any day of the year, if you walk along Oxford Street long enough. The problem comes in filtering all the pointless sets and the sheer grind of getting the girl through the model. Logistics are bad, there are many distractions, and girls are very flakey. The scarcity comes from how hard you have to work for each lay, and the abundance lies in knowing it’s always there if you’ll just do the work.
- Euro-jaunts add a time constraint. You’ll have your normal job-house-friends in the hometown and then pick a one/two week window to travel. The streets are awash with talent and the holiday vibe jacks your state. The abundance is obvious – hordes of hot girls – but the scarcity is bad too because they are harder to move from kiss to lay and everything has to happen in a hurry. Because before long Ryanair will rudely deposit you back in Shitsville.
- Nomad-living takes the best of both worlds. Once you’re roving Europe on month-long+ trips you get all the abundance of the Euro-jaunt and none of the time pressure. You’d think it’s the solution….. but no.
I’ve just complete three consecutive trips – a month in Russia, Serbia, Czech each – with short trips home in between. It’s been a lot of fun and has triggered a new series of inner game challenges. The main one is this:
Having spent the past five years in stages 1 and 2, I’ve trained myself to work hard, grind it out, and push fast. This is simply unnecessary for stage 3.
For three months my eyes have been roving constantly, my circuits fried by the sheer volume of hot girls walking past every minute of every day and knowing I just have to crank the handle to get the lays. The Great Daygame Sausage Machine will always provide so long as I put some elbow grease into cranking the handle and pouring in the slop. Currently it seems to function at 1 lay per 20 cold approaches.
Lately I’ve had to ask myself how many notches do I really want, and how hard am I going to work for it? Knowing that the lays are always out there, with a close to statistical certainty, I need to integrate it into my life pattern alongside everything else. The whispers of relentless notch-count hyena are still there but substantially reduced since I hit triple figure notches. I’m now mostly suffering from Pavlovian responses – I’ll be buried in reading a book when my RAS triggers to a denium shorts-clad ass walkng past and then my attention span is ruined.
So that was the plan for the month I’ve just completed in Prague: settle in an find a comfortable balance between chasing girls and feeling comfortable doing all those other things in life. A hard number-farm (and subsequent dates) is like a full-time job. It completely depletes you of energy for everything else, hollowing you out over time. Now that I’m spending more time in pussy paradise than outside of it, I have to manage that risk.
Learn how to daygame effectively by reading Daygame Nitro, available here.