“Everyone is getting laid but me”

July 28, 2013

After a run of approaches that go nowhere I sometimes tell myself “All I need is one girl and a tiny piece of luck”. If I find a Yes Girl I will fuck her. No question. All I need to get laid now is a girl who fancies me, is available, and no logistical barriers.

Throw me a little luck, please

Throw me a little luck, please

But being a bald 38 year old man with unremarkable looks….. those conditions aren’t satisified anywhere near as often as they are for a tall, young good-looking guy. Nonetheless it’s the hand I’m dealt so that’s the hand I play and I do okay. Since my last new girl three weeks have passed without knobbing another. This is how close I’ve come:

  • Romanian 23 yr old flashes me a barely perceptible IOI on Oxford Street. I jump on it. Very sexually charged from the beginning. Bounce her to a pub where I kiss close one hour in. Next pub she’s all over me. I’m one hour from pulling the trigger for an almost dead-cert SDL when her boss rings and harrangues her into joining a client dinner. Now she’s back in Romania.
  • Swiss 24 yr old is ambling down the stairs in front of the National Gallery. I bounce her to the Sherlock Holmes pub then on to the Coal Hole where I kiss close. She’s sitting in my lap, making out, hand rubbing my dick. But she’s visiting a cousin who finishes work one hour later and they have plans. Now she’s back in Switzerland.
  • Ghanian 25 yr old walking behind me on Oxford Street smiles when I turn around and notice her. Ten minute street stop and then on the first date she gives me the “I’m a good girl, I don’t kiss treatment”. Three hours later I’m in the hallway of her flatshare with her hands down my trousers. Then big time LMR. We’re still in touch. Might happen.
  • Guinean 24 yr old flashes me IOI on Oxford Street so I open and we have a few dates. She’s massively into me. I get her on my bed and her open mouth is one inch from my dick before she suddenly changes her mind and there’s LMR. Over Whatsapp she sends me photos of her new haircut. I tell her she looks like Snoop Dogg. She refuses to talk to me again.
  • Russian 23 yr old walks past me on Piccadilly at 9pm and gives the mother of all eye sparkles when I open. She’s lightly kinoing me. Super on. I’m already five minutes late for a date with a solid prospect so I put the Russian off until 11pm. We have a drink in an Irish Bar and I kiss close within ten minutes. She tells me she’s married. I reply “I don’t care”. She says “Neither do I”. Back in her hotel one drink later. Pushing her up against the wall, her tits out, her hands in my pants…. then she says she’s sharing a room with work collegues and won’t fuck in the toilets. She leaves to Russia 6am the next morning.
  • Kazak 24 yr old stunner stops for me in the Prague streets. She fancies me but she got married two months ago and is still in love. I break the fourth wall and start the “If you’d told me you were single, what I’d have done is…..” and a minute in she starts blushing, giggling and eye sparkling. I idate her. Towards the end of it I make a big move with a covert proposition of sex behind an overt offer to get a drink this evening. She looks hard into my eyes for ten seconds, thinking, considering. Finally she says “No. I’m married”. So so close.
  • Australian 22 yr old in Prague lets me feel her tits and arse on the street stop, comes to idate and is all over it. But then a hotter Kazak calls me to say she’s arrived for our Day 2 so I must choose a horse to back. I choose the Kazak because she’s a point hotter and I don’t ever break my word. Wrong move.

There’s a couple of others. My point is this: If I’d had slightly better luck, or slightly better game I’d have fucked four or five girls in the last two weeks. Instead I fucked zero. It used to be extremely frustrating to get girls right to the edge of the cliff, one step away from tumbling all the way to the bottom, and then they pull back.

Me, many times recently

Me, many times recently

Emotional control is the most important part of the Game.

You have to get used to doing the work, pushing hard and then have things just fall apart in front of your disbelieving eyes. Charge it to the game. After a while it gets amusing. I used to get angry when a lay was snatched from my grasp. Now it’s a good story.


  1. Thank you for this Krauser. Exactly how I feel.

    I go out a night as well and I’m pushing hard on the approaches but not closing (or getting even good reactions) and I see other guys that are just plain drunk and getting more results than me without putting in the hard work I put in. [Don’t assume because you work harder, you deserve more. Figure out why they are doing better. K.]

  2. I’d probably move to some other hobby 🙂

  3. Guinean: “I tell her she looks like Snoop Dogg. She refuses to talk to me again.”

    Great insights. This one stood out for me. I recently had an experience with Korean girl that I gamed at party. Lots of IOI’s, kino, then I try to show her a dance move and she asks “Are you a teacher?” Me: “No I’m a student but you’re a bad student”. Over-game, neg turns into an insult and she storms off telling me I’m rude.

    Your point to the other poster is right, try also to figure our why it didn’t work.

    • So difficult to get the balance right, its happened to all of us. I went through several months of overgaming and blowing leads until I learnt to tone it down several notches. Still often over game.

  4. This is exactly why cold approach long term isn’t the answer. It simply becomes an endless cycle of seeking for sexual validation. Only to feel pissed when it doesn’t happen.

    I would go onto explain why but then it would only end up getting mistaken for ‘entourage game’.

    If you haven’t read it already Nick. Pick up Mark Manson’s book ‘Models’ and have a read of the first chapter where he talks about false confidence, true confidence and vulnerability. This was written by a man who slept with 100 women only to realize that something was missing. Without plugging the book, it’s quite possibly the best book I ever read about the community.

    The happiest and most successful people i’ve ever met all seem to have an abundant life. Friends, a great job, hobbies and a generally interesting life. And yes they all have hot girlfriends.

    Neither of them know about cold approach or know how to pass shit tests. Yet there they are with high qualities girls under their arm who are willing to stick around.

    There’s nothing more potent and powerful than a man who spends most of his time investing in himself and his own time than he does with women. Women seem to naturally gravitate towards it. It’s the most effective way to build inner game since you value yourself more and more as you seek bigger pastures for yourself and your own development.

    PUA is the perfect antidote to introverts and nomads like us guys who have come from an unsocial background. But there’s no denying the eventual fact that after all’s said and done, we all have to find balance in our lives one way or another. [TL:DR version = “I’ve only read a couple of your posts, deliberately misinterpreted your message and will now repeat back to you things you’ve already written about at length but will act like I’m telling you something you haven’t figured out.” I was right about you first time. K.]

    • Abridged version = “You’re assuming i’ve read a few of your posts, second guessing my intentions and pigeonholing me as a spammer so as to convince your fans that I have nothing of value to give and that what I have to say is rubbish”

      You know nothing about me Krauser. And I don’t presume to know anything about you simply by the things you’ve written. [I’m not saying your comments have no value, I’m saying you are consistently reframing me to position yourself above in order to offer advice that I’ve already offered on this blog. I’m pointing it out as an example to my less-savvy readership because the community is full of such status jockeying and frame controlling. K.]

      • The frame control and status jockeying attempts by Joel are quite transparent, but maybe he doesn’t realise he’s doing it? He could just be too absorbed by PUA to realise it, like a lot of guys are. Bless him.

      • Ok, didn’t realise. But that’s not my intentions. I have no reason to frame control you as someone below me. It’s possibly the way I write, which naturally sounds authoritative. [You’re welcome to keep commenting but I suggest you write your own blog. Flesh out your ideas there and control your own traffic. K.]

      • I actually think that both of you Nick and Joel have extremely good points. I think Joel’s onto a healthier mindset and I guess it does become easier to flow with people better in terms of the lifestyle he mentiions,and your self esteem may be better due to the cold approach knock backs however it does sound slightly group based.Personally I wouldn;t have met the people I have if not for a lot of what you teach Nick, so thank you for that.

  5. I guess I would be very happy with 2 lays a month on average, which is possible, with decent game, and at the same time not very time consuming. 2 years and one achieves that magical number 50.

    Joel: As I see it, things you describe are essential for game as well -having life, hobbies to talk about, etc. Nobody says you should just approach.

  6. Haha – what you label as frustration over the last 3 weeks I, and most people would describe as a riotous adventure with all kinds of potential for long game. As a coach used to tell us sometimes: ” we did not lose that game – we just ran out of time”

    If I were to show the 2009 Mr. Krauser what your last 3 weeks were like and how the 2013 viewed it…….enough said. [I remember getting excited about kiss closes. Your bad days become better than what used to be considered a good day. But my main message is that despite the individual frustrations the whole process is a riot. Walking away from that Russian’s hotel at 2am on Saturday night I just shrugged my shoulders, thought “good story” then started thinking about whether to watch Breaking Bad when I got home. K.]

  7. Give me an address and I’ll send you one of my hoes. You’re welcome

  8. “I tell her she looks like Snoop Dogg. She refuses to talk to me again.”

    Well, I don’t blame her. His name is Snoop Lion, man, get with it!

  9. I don’t follow your timelines K. You say it’s been three weeks since your last success, but on July 26th you posted about the Mexican lay, and on July 9th you posted about the ballerina that you laid. WTF? [My twitter is updated right after the lays. My blog is updated when I can be bothered to write. K.]

    • I’ve also always wondered why you consistently put so many hours into day game. Don’t you have at least 3 or 4 girls on a rotation by now? Or are you only interested in brand new lays and after the first fuck you never see them again? [Most of my lays this year have been on holiday or with girls leaving London very soon. K.]


      • Do you ever turn a girl or two into a regulars and take a break for a bit? Or is this like weight lifting and once you stop you go into a decline? [I’ve had two regulars in London this summer, but I tire of them. K.]

  10. When do you generally pull the trigger and take her back to your place to fuck? I’m guessing very early morning around 2-4am. [No. Usually before midnight. K.]

  11. Great post Nick,

    This is something i’m actually going through myself at the moment having hit it hard in the last few weeks. It makes it difficult to find the motivation to go out some days due to thinking the girls you approach will only flake, which is a really bad limiting belief.

    From your experience, would you say it’s best to just keep approaching more girls or to (as you said in a previous post) take a break and work on your value? [Approaching is catabolic to your value, living your life is anabolic. Find the balance. K.]

  12. Pingback: Daily Linkage – July 29, 2013 | The Dark Enlightenment

  13. Yes, to me these are usually the best weeks. I used to think that if your game was good enough, you could pull girls at will, but I’ts definately a PUA fantasy. I’ve had months were I fuck 1 or 2 girls every week, and then months like this one. I find that I get really excited when I have “bad” months because great things tend to happen afterwards..

  14. I start to understand why you love dark souls so much 🙂

  15. I read your note from time to time, I felt writer’s slight anger towards women in between the lines. Yes? or just my illusion? or somehow not totally resolved something in the past?

  16. K, since you don’t have to work at a normal job anymore, about how much time do you dedicate to approaching? Do you have a sort of approach schedule you abide by? It kind of seems like you are in a MMORPG and are “farming” or “grinding” as they call it. Lots of people in those games will grind for hours killing the same enemies over and over as there is a certain percentage of probability the monster will drop a rare item. Instead of endlessly slaying creatures your approaching women and having 10-15 min convos ( longer if instant date ). In your case the rare item is a strong non-flaky phone number ( or even more rare a SDL ). Too bad we can’t somehow hire some Chinese lads to do it for us.

    Or do you only approach when your out doing something you were to do anyhow? [No. I open about 15 girls a week in London when I’m interested in generating leads. On holiday it’s more like 15 a day for a few days. Then there are rare spells of doing 3 days a week in London, like I did this month. That’s as busy as I get. Some weeks I don’t open any girls. It’s part of the PUAhate/MGTOW/internetAlpha narrative that successful daygamers are opening every girl they see every second of the day to get one lay a month. It’s bullshit. There’s a couple of clowns like that but none who I wing with. K.]

  17. The 2nd video should have been girl asking guys…find it on the channel if you want. [dead links. Try again if you want. K.]

  18. Asking guys vs asking 100 girls for sex. Girl 50% success. Guy 0% success.
    Problems with guy’s approach: Verbally direct, presence of friends/boyfriend, SMP value is higher for the girl than for him.

  19. This is a great post.
    As an intermediate level person (mostly night game but doing some day game)

    I’ve recently been hooking Super Hot Babes. Real Grey hound material between the age of 21 and 24 (I’m 30 years old) Only to lose them after I make out with them on day 2, 3, or 4.

    I would get really angry at myself for messing up. Especially when the girl is willing and all I had to do is CONTROL MY EMOTIONS.

    Reading your last posts reminds me that it’s just part of the game and better to re-frame it as a learning experience and funny story.

    What you post is a great source of inspiration.


  20. As someone who’s recently discovered your blog and is now working through your archives, I’d love to see more “society” posts from you Krauser, particularly as there are some worrying feminist-led censorship policies being implemented in the UK at the moment, e.g. Co-op today banning lads mags, Cameron forcing ISPs to put porn filters in place by default, etc. You’ve made some very interesting and well articulated posts on issues like these before, so it would be great to see some more, alongside your usual top notch game related posts of course.

  21. Damn krauser. Just sit back for a second and gain some perspective. How many women have you banged in the past year?

    I’m a virgin and just to see the feast you enjoy makes me feel good vicariously. When I get a set of balls and start approaching I hope for the tiniest bit of the success you’ve enjoyed.

    You’re experiencing what psychologists call “adaptation”. It’s like getting a raise at work. At first you were very happy but now you’ve become accustomed to the higher wages and are just as unhappy before.

    Just giving you some perspective.

  22. Good stuff on admitting to any kind of weakness. Most PU bloggers would refrain from doing this as haters would just jump all over it as ‘proof’ that you are not that good. For me it serves as proof that the other stories are real. Only a celebrity would fail to go through ‘dry spells’ with women.

  23. If you were taller and weren’t bald, would any of those cases have turned out differently? Probably not.

  24. How did you recognize your girlfriend as suitable for a relationship, was it her choice or yours, and, if it was your choice, how did you transition her into it?

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