I’ve just come back from an idate with a cute little Italian girl I picked up at Trafalgar Square. In itself nothing remarkable so you’ll only hear the story if I end up banging her. As I was ramping up the verbal escalation to test for the SDL she started telling me how her first boyfriend (of six years) was pretty boring and didn’t inspire her to try hard in the bedroom. When I get a girl on this topic I usually start the sexual framing where I’m the superhero and every other guy is shit.I also trotted out this story:
Imagine you’ve just passed your driving test so you go out and buy yourself a Fiat Punto. It’s cute and you drive it around the city for a while. You like driving. It’s pleasant, you like being behind the wheel. You like your Punto. After a few years its getting old so you buy another car. You like Puntos, so you buy a newer one. You drive that around some more. It’s comfortable and you’re used to it. You’re a Punto fan.
One day, your friend throws you his car keys. “Here, try my Ferrari”
You get behind the wheel, put your foot down and ….. wow! It’s amazing. You can feel the raw power of the engine throbbing through the seat, your hands shaking as they grip the wheel. Every turn is a perfect grip. The feeling of control and of riding the power is incredible.
You finish the drive with your breath coming fast. Your heart beating. You feel exhillarated. Like walking on air. You throw the keys back to your friend, a huge smile on your face.
And then walk back to your Punto. Your little, cute, slow Punto. It’s just not the same anymore.
Needless to say she was dripping wet at the end of this little story, biting her lips, her mind racing frantically.
January 21, 2013 at 10:50 pm
You should be locked up… you’re a danger to these innocent young tourists…
January 22, 2013 at 12:30 am
Yes, her relationship isn’t worth much if she’s willing to toss it aside for instant gratification, even if, yes, it’s an infinitely better short-lived experience. But… It really doesn’t bother you that she would do that? I just don’t see a lack of patience (because unlike the Fiat, Boyfriend can improve) and seriousness in commitment as characteristics of a quality woman. [She broke up with this guy 3 years ago. Regardless, you need to read up on “relationship equity” on Rollo Tomassi’s site. You seriously misunderstand women on this point and it’ll end badly for you with your next oneitis. K.]
January 22, 2013 at 3:56 pm
About relationship equity, I’m surprised to see it mentioned as a response to what he said… Does it mean that women are always prone to cheat/break up at any given moment if you’re an ordinary beta? They can never be trusted to control their hypergamy in a LTR and the only protection is that you constantly keep yourself “alpha enough” to handle them? Sounds like that would pretty much rule out monogamous LTRs for most men, at least on their terms. It also bothers me that if I’m going to have to keep myself in top form and game some girl all the time anyway, then why the hell should I stay faithful to her. On the other hand a typical woman won’t accept me seeing others, so I’d have to lie and do things in secret which I don’t like.
January 22, 2013 at 4:08 pm
It depends Z. Every girl has different needs, so as long as you satisfy her on all levels (Hard/Soft Dominance, Rapport, Connection, Provider) then she won’t go anywhere.
It also depends on her upbringing and her boredom threshold.
Sometimes, you can give a girl everything she desires yet she’ll still look for new territory. It’s the way we’re designed. We always strive to seek new challenges in our lives in order to grow and become better. So the crucial thing is to constantly make her work to keep the relationship going.
It’s ultimately a mutual agreement. You both need to work to keep the relationship kindled. If at any point she’s not investing as much as you in the relationship, that’s when you know things will eventually break down.
Happens all the time. Guy invests, girl starts to lose some interest. Guy panics and start to invest more and more to try and close the gap which leads the girl to lose attraction, leading to a break up.
January 23, 2013 at 3:12 pm
Those were good points Onder. Yes, I guess it’s especially important to remember to make her work to uphold the relationship (it can be a bit easier said than done though).
January 22, 2013 at 6:05 pm
I missed the critical “first.” I will work on my reading comprehension. Meanwhile, if I’m understanding this right, investment and values can potentially mean nothing in the face of a sufficiently shiny object? My thanks to you and Tomassi for sparing me what could otherwise have been a very hard lesson.
January 22, 2013 at 7:46 am
Brilliant framing Krauser. Can you go into further detail for everyone about how you were looking at her, how quickly you were speaking, the vibe you were sending out etc? That verbal stuff is brilliant and I’d like you to share the non-verbal things you were doing. [There’s older posts on this site about that stuff. K.]
January 22, 2013 at 3:32 pm
Hey, you’re a pretty smart guy, Krauser, and you have sex with a lot of younger women. What now?
January 22, 2013 at 4:07 pm
Thanks for making me laugh. It’s not often I read a comment on a web forum these days that does.
January 22, 2013 at 8:18 pm
You’re master. Greets from Brazil.
January 22, 2013 at 10:26 pm
Krauser man, you killin’ it.
January 23, 2013 at 3:23 am
*edit blah blah [blatant blog whoring. K.]
January 27, 2013 at 8:08 pm
It was actually a sincere compliment. But if the insecurity of allowing two of your readers to stumble upon a page of interest outweighs any constructive feedback, then so be it.
January 23, 2013 at 9:47 pm
“…and then one day you get the chance to drive a Toyota Camty…” Maybe not quite the same effect.
January 25, 2013 at 8:55 pm
So what if a girl likes trucks? lol
What’s that mean to you guys? Opinions welcome.