Trolling the Italian bird, for the lulz

October 29, 2011

Here’s one of the Facebook chats I had a few days ago while sipping a whiskey in the Hemingway Suite with JJ. I decided to channel him and just talk about food while insulting this Italian bird. Just for the lulz. I noticed she’d changed her profile picture.
Me: you look like a dorky little girl in your new photo
Her: hahaha     any problem?     [she changes it]    better?     haha
Me: No. It looks like you put a broom on your head     I don’t like you anymore     I won’t have sex with you
Her: hahahaha     ok ill look for another one     D     xD  [she changes it to a full body shot]
Me: oh god, that’s even worse     you look like a hooker
Her: hahahaha     ok so ill be back to this one    [changes it back]
Me: I’ll suggest one
Her: thats for u?     but you dont have hair
Me: actually I just thought of the perfect picture     she looks like you, has the same hair, similar fashion     and equally cool
Her: hahhahaha     i dnt wear glasses
Me: I’m bored. I might keep insulting you     and then eat some sausages     I love sausages     I’m eating salami now     Sainsbury’s Basic. £1.19 for150g     thin sliced     mmmmmmmmm
Her: pfff     im eating rissotto
Me: I don’t like rissotto     I don’t like your rissotto
Her: pff     better for you     cuz i wont cook it for you
Me: and I’m not dumb enough to eat it     I’d be sick     you can’t try to bribe your way into my bed with your crappy cooking
Her: dont worry for that
Me: You scare me. If I look out my window now, I’ll probably see you crouched under a bush in my garden, using my wifi for your laptop
Her: hahaha     whaaaat
Me: I heard that. My window is open
Her: close it     i can be so dangerous
Me: Yes     dangerous like a rabbit     or a koala     or a hamster
Her: hahaahaha i prefer the koala     i live them]     love them
Me: I prefer koalas to you     they have better legs
Her: i prefer them to you as well     for lots of reasons
Me: If I was a koala     I’d bite you     eat the food in your kitchen     and shit on your floor
Her: hahaha     i would send you to the zoo then     and i would go to see you     and throw you things     but not food     roks and rubbish    for example
Me: I’d throw my shit at you     and laugh
Her: i would say to the owners of the zoo to sacrify you     cuz u are ill     and you could infect the other animals     and they’ll believe me
Me: I’d give you AIDS     koala rape
Her: you won’t have tim     you would be sacrified before
Me: I don’t like you anymore     you are mean to animals
Her: hahaha     no     i’m mean to you     well…there is no big difference at all
Me: I’m gonna get the koala army to attack you
Her: ok     i’ll be waiting for that


  1. Hi. I hope you don’t mind posting a Non sequitur but I am very interested in the “evolutionary psychology” that you have outlined in this blog on many occasions. It explains a great many things that sociologists and economist have failed to understand.

    But the one thing that stands out as not falling in line is the women’s fashion industry. Where does it fit within? I can see how lingerie and cosmetics can help a women to acquire and retain a mate, but why do women dress to impress other women? It seems to serve no biological purpose whatsoever. Do they think that men care whether they are wearing Yves St Laurent or Primark? From my experience the majority of men who can detect the difference are gay, so what’s the point?

    What accounts for female status jockeying in general?


    [Herd instinct. Women want to fit it with the herd, but in a position slightly higher than her peers in order to attract the men. K.]

  2. A couple of years ago I read an anthropology book by Dunbar that mentioned an interesting example about chimpanzee females – the lowest status ones that got picked on by the rest of the females were so stressed and depressed from being picked on that chemically they became effectively infertile. I think women trying to impress other women with brands of clothes is a similar mechanism, it’s not so much to attract the men but to maintain a high position in the pecking order. Or in any case its a mechanism that has been exploited by the cosmetics and fashion industry creating false needs.

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