Here’s a snippet of a facebook chat I had with the 20 yr old Polish virgin. This is from December so I hadn’t yet gotten her to masturbate over sex chat (I might post that later) and she hadn’t yet agreed to come to London so I can take her virginity (I might post that later too). This snippet is mostly rapport building, framing myself as her leader, and then qualifying her on her character…. we begin about half an hour into the chat when she’s asking why I like her.

Me: No    What I mean is, I was initially attracted to you because of how you looked and danced    But that happens with 100s of girls.    So then I check your facebook and I see you are actually a normal, balanced person    and then we chat, and I see you are thoughtful and coy    Having all 3 things together is quite rare, and I like it  [qualification]
Her: i don’t wanna be like 100s girls 😛    hmmm, I think… I’m not really coy girl 😉
Me: you are with me. Why so different to usual?  [our world]
Her: hmm, I don’t understand..    you know – my english.
Me: You are coy with me. You are not coy generally (you said)    why the difference?
Her: ok….I don.t know…. maybe I’m coy… maybe it’s my real nature..    perhaps it is a problem with men…
Me: Have you ever had an orgasm during sex?  [Hat tip Moran for using this to screen girls. I didn’t know she was a virgin at this point – it’s only 6 weeks after I met her]
Her: !!!!!!!!!!1    it’s so personaly…    *personal   [likes boldness but remains coy]
Me: yeah, but girls who are not comfortable with men and sex usually can’t orgasm    they have to learn to relax first  [from the Moran playbook]
Her: I know that..
Me: get their minds straight
Her: nexer mind;)    *never    how was you’re day? 😀  [she’s not comfortable answering yet so I let her snip the thread]
Me: great    I built a snowman, as you know    Been writing a book    Having fun with friends    you?  [DHVs]
Her: ooh.. great, snowman like kids 😉    my day…was hard     early get up..    sport, sport… much sport…    and university..
Me: sport? nice  [reward, reduce my words]
Her: yes..    sport and after a little dance..    what’s the weather in London?   [she wants to keep this going]
Me: COLD brrrrr brrrr
Her: In Krk it’s snowing…    soo cold
Me: Not surprising    maybe you should take your trousers off   [sexualise playfully]
Her: 😉    I don’t think so 😉    you haven’t good ideas 😉
Me: so rude!!!   [tell her off, playfully]
Her: 😉    ohhhh    no 😉 I’m not rude :0
Me: Haha I know    What dancing did you do today?
Her: salsa..and a little bit rumba..    but.. i was tired and I didn’t have power for the rumba….
Me: I did some salsa before. I didn’t know rumba required power
Her: to much sport before 😉    it’s sexy dance… and girl have much work 😉
Me: nice   [reward]

 

Her: 🙂    you’re busy now…?    I don’t want to disturb…   [worried she’s interfering in my life, a sign that she perceives herself as lower status than me]
Me: Not especially. Chatting to friends around the table in our conference room    I’m fine. I enjoy chatting to you  [comfort]
Her: nice 🙂 thanx
Me: 😉
Her: sorry….but I think….. some men are prats
Me: Me too? I’m kinda lazy and selfish    [false disqualifier]
Her: no..,not you..    now….I talk with man like that – prats wrrr    I hate liar
Me: Yeah, so many men hide their intentions and use bullshit  [begin an honesty frame – I want her to feel she can open up to me, and not just her legs]
Her: yes, I hate these     I think, that some these are immature arses. Sorry for the words
Me: haha, you REALLY don’t like them 😀
Her: I’m angryyyy     he lie to me
Me: he?    Are we talking about a specific guy?
Her: haha….ok…..it;s not important..    I apologise, that I wrote it..    I’m angry and I don’t think 😛
Me: I’m fine    You weren’t being mean to me    You can tell me anything you want    I’m interested to know what motivates you
Her: wrrr    anger is motivating me 😛 haha    in short:
Me: I’m listening   [get her to open up and you have her]
Her: he wanted to cheat me….    he said, around there is no woman… and had her    I hate these…    I hate when the man lie to me
Me: yeah, I hate dishonesty    I think you should show someone who you are. And if they like that, great.    if they don’t, move on and find the person who does like you    People who hide themselves behind lies are not confident that people will like them for who they are
Her: I am not hiding myself…. I mean….I think that..    I think that too much I probably expect the boy …hmmm
Me: No. You respect yourself, so you have standards  [qualify her]
Her: I only want so so that he respects me, he didn’t lie…
Me: Yeah, you have to learn to read people better. Most people give you all of the information you need, without realising it
Her: it’s sad that all the time this way I am conned…    I am credulous
Me: How old are you?
Her: 20  [YES!!!!]
Me: there’s the answer. You are still learning about the world and about people  [frame myself as mature and her as needing guidance]
Her: yes…but it’s not fair
Me: Be patient    You can’t rush maturity and experience    Just keep trying your best to do the right thing, and to learn from every experience   [telling her what to do, but with benign intent]
Her: after what you said, about your first impression to my …. I think, around I am retired 😛    hehehe
Me: so no more sexy dancing from Dorota?    😦
Her: I’m too old 😛 😛 😛 <lol>
Me: yeah, 20 is virtually 40
Her: haha;) I know;)    I’m not dancing sexy…
Me: send me a sexy photo   [sexualise]
Her: no, I haven’t
Me: Take one now   [hold the frame]
Her: I don’t want to…    you can see my photo on FB..    on my gallery    ok, it’s late a bit 😉    thanx for the conversation and advice 🙂    have a good night 😉   [slightly uncomfortable]
Me: yeah, I enjoyed it    sleep well 😉   [release]

I’ll post some of the further chats later. This one is going well.