Krauser’s Chick Crack

August 11, 2010

In homage to Assanova’s great little ebook here are a couple of the routines I came up with in the last few months which can be sprinkled into a pick-up / day 2 to boost the assholery of your game.

1. Let’s Play A Game of You Be Quiet

Description: A short routine to establish dominance over the girl, pushing her into the child role of waiting for the adult to finish speaking. You are essentially telling her to be quiet and let the important person finish, but in a playfully rogueish manner. Inspired by the scene of Dr Evil with his son.

Use: When you are telling a story, DHVing or otherwise in the middle of talking and she tries to interupt to add something. To be used when there’s already some rapport. You give her a playfully admonishing serious stare, hold your index finger up and say “shhhh”. When she giggles and resists, move your finger to her lips and shush her more dominantly. She’ll then keep trying to say something and each time you shut her down the pussy tingle grows.


Me: So, blah blah blah….

Her: *interupts*

Me: *stare at her* Let’s play a game of you be quiet. Can you do that?

Her: *tries to say something*

Me: Shhhhhh *raises finger* Shhhhhhh. Let the adult talk.

Her: *giggles, resists*

Me: Shhhhh. [right infront of her face draw the letters with your fingers] http://www.shhhhhhh   dot com *smirk* blah blah blah

Variation: Watch the Austin Powers sketch. You’ll get the idea. The point is to be deliberately annoying in a playful manner.

2. We’re Finished Here

Description: A way of maintaining a dominant leading frame on a girl, leading her and kinoing. It shows you do what you want to do and she is tagging along for the ride. Best used on an instant date (daygame) or day 2 after you’ve already established good non-sexual kino but haven’t kiss closed yet.

Use: When you are both in a shop or otherwise standing still, such as you have been looking at dvds in a record store, or just collected takeaway coffees in Starbucks. It’s almost entirely about the kino – commanding, outrageous, yet playful and not hurting her.


Me: [walking over to girl at a dvd rack]. Ok we’re finished here. *grabs the dvd out of her hand and puts it back* Let’s go *Grabs her with a light claw on the back of the neck and turns her to face the exits. Gives a playful shove on the back*

Variation: Can be used when she’s finished putting the milk and sugar into her coffee. Reach over her, put the lid on, place it in her hand, say “We’re done here. Let’s go” and turn her to the exit.

3. I’ve Got A Better Idea

Description: This is a way of reframing her suggestion to make it sound like your idea, but doing it in such an obvious way that it’s making fun of the act. Can be used any time in set, but is best to use either for something completely pointless or when dealing with her shit test / frame control attempt of suggesting what to do next

Use: Whatever she suggests doing, appear like you are considering it and then give her a condescending fatherly look (perhaps draw her in a side-on-side hug, or pat her shoulder) and then say “No. I’ve got a better idea. Let’s….. [suggest exactly what she said]” The whole point is you’re shamelessy pretending you had the idea first when you both know you didn’t.


Her: *on a day 2* How about this place? We could have a coffee and sit outside.

Me: Hmmmmm. No. I’ve got a much better idea. *pause* Let’s go in here and get a coffee. Then we’ll sit outside.

Variation: This is general use. Any suggestion of what to do, what to drink, where to go. No matter how big or small. Just make sure it’s something you’d want to do anyway. If she’s suggesting something you genuinely object to – object, don’t use this.


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  3. Jesus, these routines are fucking gold. You came up with these?

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  10. I just found a great breakfast cafe outside a PRISON today. In front of the gate. Prison staff working in it, super clean, very cheap, good food. And the ambiance, let me tell you … a view of tall barbed wire fences, and giant muscle dudes full of tats making your food.

    I stopped having food dates, but that’s about to change. Should make for some priceless moments.

    That and picking up 18 year olds online:

  11. How can I get Assanova’s ebooks. the link above to Lulu’s website does not produce those ebooks. Did a search on it also.

    Please advise.

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