Evolution 1: Frustrated

April 28, 2010

Part One of Four: The Plateau I’ve Reached And How I’m Tackling It

There’s a progression to a man’s formal acquisition of game that goes something like this: First you don’t have the balls to approach, but eventually you start barrelling in and mostly can’t hook. Next you start getting conversations but the girls won’t give out real numbers. Then you get numbers but no dates, then a bunch of Day 2s but no kisses and the girls don’t call you back, and often when they do you’re LJBF’d. Eventually you hit the stage where you can proceed all the way through from approach to sex with a reasonable consistency.

The point is that it’s a linear process. You get good at A1, and that gets you the opportunity to start learning A2 and so on. In the background is your ongoing inner game work which raises the tide for all stages. I’m trying to break out of the “day 2s that lead nowhere” problem. I’m banging some girls but nowhere near as many as I should. To give an example by summarising my past ten days:

Saturday: Two approaches as a demo to student on a bootcamp. The apocalypse doesn’t stick but the normal indirect-direct does and I get a Facebook. Good interaction but goes nowhere on the follow up.

Sunday: Three approaches. One Facebook (turns into a Day 2 a week later) and one instant date with consequent number close and Facebook add. This latter girl then deletes me without comment (and before I did any follow up) and it’s a dead end.

Wednesday: Five approaches. One Facebook where I’m currently doing light comfort and attraction over the chat function. One Facebook where she added me but no reply to my first teaser mail. One kiss close that I never saw again. Two conversations that went nowhere.

Saturday: Three approaches. One instant date and one number but neither girl returned my two follow up calls. One conversation with no close.

Sunday: Day 2 with the Lithuanian. Two long phone conversations with two targets I’d Day 2’d a few weeks earlier.

Tuesday: Day 3 with a girl who had done the instant date and Day 2, then deleted me from Facebook, then called me up unexpectedly and asked for the date. I get an unexpected series of texts from another girl who I’d assumed was a dead end as she’d never agreed a day 2.

So the total sarge score from this period is: Seventeen approaches, twelve number/FB/kiss closes, six insta-dates/day 2s, no sex. Or to tabulate it:

1. Lithuanian barmaid: Facebook, follow up, day 2, seems to be going cold.
2. Russian model: Number, dead end.
3. Russian student: Number, insta-date, Facebook, dead end.
4. English girl: Facebook but not accepted the add, dead end.
5. Italian waitress: Facebook, follow up, potential day 2
6. Jordanian shots girl: Facebook, gone cold
7. English student: Kiss, dead end
8. Colombian student: Insta-date, number, seems to be going cold
9. Black girl: Number, Facebook, day 2 and 3, dead end
10. Aussie fashion girl: Number, Facebook, day 2 and 3, still in play [update – just kiss closed. Hot lead]
11. Taiwanese hairdresser: Number, insta-date, Facebook, day 2 and 3, still in play [50/50 I’d guess]
12. Polish student: Number, Facebook, many texts. Warmed up a little

Lest I convey the wrong impression, I’m not unhappy with my progress. Every single one of these girls is hot (four of them smoking hot) and I’ve essentially been able to create twelve prospects from seventeen opens which is an extremely high hit rate for such quality stock. The problem is I’m then fucking up / failing to capitalise. Anyone who’s read this blog from the beginning will have a good idea what these success barriers / inner game issues / skill gaps are.

It’s frustrating as hell. I know it’s a plateau and I know that when I look backwards I see a long hard trail that I’ve already walked and needs not be walked again. That’s all behind me, the progress is locked in. Just one year ago, even in my wildest dreams never would I have thought I could go and rack up a prospect list like that in less than two weeks / twenty approaches.

But damn, shouldn’t I be fucking at least one of these girls?

NB – This was written three weeks ago. Follow up posts coming soon


  1. Still. you give me hope. My biggest roadblock is finding out where I can mingle with significant number of hot girls. The suburban American life really sucks in that regard. I spent last Friday evening in a local bar and saw a total of two women who were even close to hot enough for me to fuck and they were joined at the hip with a boyfriend. Dozens of ugly fat women and a few over the hill women who thought they were still hot.

    I can now understand the attraction of the whole “new urbanism” movement here in the States, but I’m not inturested in trhowing away that much money.

  2. I noticed your earlier walkup videos show your approach
    tended to be very front-on, and initially you are standing
    very close. Here’s an explanation from Ross about coming
    in from an angle, not facing initially, and taking
    a step back to give them space.


    That way, the dominance is tempered with safety.
    Still, as long as they don’t run away, you’re doing fine!

  3. Matt, I’m not America-bashing here but I visited the States for the first time ever last July and I was pretty shocked that in the place I visited (Irvine,CA) people seem to live in sealed compounds and just exist in 3 places (home,work,mall) interlinked by car travel. Suburban hell! If I was in the states I’d try and live somewhere really urban and hip: like NY or SanFrancisco.I’d then hunt like mad for bars which had chicks.Trendy bars. Failing that I’d be hitting the malls, museums, art galleries, gym, parks, etc and doing day game, Krauser-style.

    • Bashing? Hell, I agree completely with you. I’m not a young hipster, so I don’t know how well I would do in New York or SF. I’d probably be really popular in SF, but since I’m straight, it wouldn’t be much of a success.

      Finding someplace that doesn’t include lots of alcohol and music turned up to ear-bleeding levels would be nice. I have a sharp wit and good sense of humor so being able to talk is a bit of a priority.

      Maybe I’ll go for a major change and sign up with a Theological University.

  4. This was written 3 weeks ago?

    I hope you fucked at least one of them by now… sounds like a solid prospect list…. I respect your work ethic. At least you’re approaching and getting out there and getting the prospects…

  5. Pingback: Weekend Link Fest – Caribbean Trekkie edition « Seasons of Tumult and Discord

  6. Must be very frustrating getting day 3s and still nothing would piss me the hell off.
    I think this is what discourages so many of us from game.
    On the other hand other people around you seem to just assume your getting laid lots
    which can be a good thing.

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