Rather a grandiose title but it is something of an intriguing question – how does a 37 year old office worker (rather than say 22 year old star athlete) continually get told by SMV-prime young women that he’s the best sex they ever had? I hear it from about 50% of them. Now some of this will be that I clack low-N girls who thus have a limited frame of reference. I’ll freely admit there’ll be men out there who do it better than me. Nonetheless, I’ll share my thoughts on why I repeatedly have this effect on girls.
- Rule #1 – Her perception of your value is more important than your technique
- Rule #2 – Domination is the biggest turn on
- Rule #3 – Please yourself above pleasing her
- Rule #4 – Have full control of your touch
Let’s run through these in turn.
Rule #1 – Her perception of your value is more important than your technique
A common misconception in the Blue Pill world is that you improve her estimation of your sexual ability by becoming better at bedroom gymnastics, whether this be through tantric weirdness, karma sutra positional knowledge, finding the g-spot, or a viagra-enhanced longevity. That’s all supplicating bullshit. Her estimation is overwhelmingly determined by how high value she thinks you are. Just think back to selected highlights of your own sex life. I’ll bet money that the top three memories are the top three hottest women no matter how they performed. Just as fat old hags are wasting their time learning better blowjob skills, qualifying spineless men are wasting their time reading techniques of sexual mastery. Improve your value, project it well, and hold the frame. In short, extend your Game to the bedroom.
Rule #2 – Domination is the biggest turn on
I haven’t talked much about 50 Shades of Grey on this blog due to my instinctual distaste to be letting my mind be led by popular trends. I’m the guy who doesn’t buy Black Ops 2 until six months after release. Nonetheless I have dipped into that book and can see why it’s a cause celebre. It’s served me as a jump off point with a few girls to turn conversations sexual and explore their limits. The key takeaway, of course, is dominance. Fix this before you move onto the lower-order technques. This means things like:
- Never ask permission. You’ll need calibration to learn when to move forwards and when to play it safe but even when the latter never actually ask permission, just don’t take that step forward until her mood is right. If you must ask it’s not “Can I…?” or “Shall we…?” it is “I want to….” and leave the question hanging in the air unasked. Growl into her ear “I’m going to (something explicit)” then slowly begin doing it. Her opportunity to say no is in the time delay of escalation. If she really wants to say no, you’ll hear it then.
- Only “Stop”, “No” and a deliberate physical disengagement count as non-consent. Girls will give you all kinds off soft refusals that are meant to be overridden. It’s just her forebrain-hindbrain conflict resolving itself outloud by giving herself plausible deniability. Often the refusal is part of her enjoyment in rubbing up against your manhood. So ignore “we shouldn’t do this” or “this is too fast” or “we should go back downstairs” etc. If her hands are still exploring and her crotch still grinding then proceed as planned. If that stuff stops you need to slow down and add a little comfort such as stroking her hair, kissing her forehead or looking into her eyes and giving a gentle smile. A firm no will come in a firm non-sexual tone of voice. A token no still rings with passion. You’ll know the difference. If in any doubt use the fire escape move – get up and go to the bathroom leaving her a clear line to the exit. If she hasn’t taken it within a minute or so, return as your were. A girl giving a firm no will quickly rearrange her clothes and remove herself from the area of sexual conquest. If she doesn’t do so take it as a green light.
- Always lead. You are a tsunami of sexual power sweeping her little fishing boat of innocence along an irresistable wave. She needs this to feel the thrill of submission. Make her feel the inevitability of eventual surrender because this’ll excite her far more than an explicit mutual consent. This isn’t a freely-entered sexual union of equals. No sir, you are ravishing her against her better judgement.
Rule #3 – Please yourself above pleasing her
I never go down on a girl. I don’t think I’ve done it in five years and I’m not about to start now. Surely I’m selfish. Surely girls will hold that against me when dispensing their own sexual favours……. no. Far be it for me to advise you against going down if you happen to enjoy doing so. I just find it unappealing and unbecoming of a man. I associate going down with supplication.
Women will often mid-ravishment blurt out words to the effect of “use me for your pleasure!” That’s the hindbrain talking. Women know they exist to satisfy the man in their lives be it ironing his shirts or swallowing his cum. Her hardwired state-of-nature survival strategy is to attach to a man and then make sure to keep him happy so he allows her to remain attached rather than casting her out into a world she is ill-equipped to navigate alone. Keep this in mind in your bedroom. She is there to satisfy you. Thanks to the wonder of nature her satisfying you will give her satisfaction and you don’t lose the frame.
Men who dedicate themselve to giving women orgasms, oral sex and longevity are just beta-boy sexual providers. It’s a sport fuck to her. Little different from going to the spa to have some maids pamper her with a different kind of facial. She’ll enjoy it, you’ll get sex, and the chemical reaction may even keep her around but you’ll have no domination. She’ll be her own woman, not your woman.
Fuck the girl like she’s a rag doll. Do whatever turns you on. Finish whenever you’re ready. When she asks for something don’t give it right away. When girls give me a sexual request e.g. “I want you behind me” I’ll look into her eyes, smirk, and say “I know”. Maybe I’ll do it later, maybe I won’t. If she gets a little insistent grab her rougher and as you look into her eyes give her a really hard thrust. That’s a way of saying shut up that she appreciates.
Come wherever you want to. If she’s dodging having it on her face then go for the breasts, making sure an accidental spurt gets some of her face. If she’ll take it on the face try and get a little bit in her eye or up her nose. Unapologetically.
The one big caveat in all this is - let her know you are enjoying her. Breath heavy into her ear, give some low growls of satisfaction, smirk, give the occasional flattering compliment (“I love fucking you”). The woman needs to know you appreciate her offering herself up for a ravishing. She wants to fantasise herself being used, not to actually be used. So mix a little velvet in with the steel.
Rule #4 – Have full control of your touch
A strange observation in my life has been that Brazilian Ju Jitsu has offered me far greater profit in the bedroom than it ever has on the street. I spent a couple of years rolling around on the mats in my angry white pyjamas slapping on armbars and triangle chokes, learning a half-guard game and all sorts of other such stuff. Yet I haven’t had a streetfight in ten years. It’s an entirely different blogpost why this is (basically, hard targetting and good control of my monkey brain) but one of the ironies of MMA is you take a far greater accummulated punishment in self defense training than you ever would if you were just a fag hipster who accepted his periodic street beatings.
But when it comes to sex, nothing beats a solid MMA background.
Part of it comes into 1) because MMA raises your physical confidence. Partly it’s 2) because you’ve already learned dominance over other men and she can feel your strength. Most of all you are bringing physical competence into the bedroom. MMA gives you exceptional hand-eye coordination, balance, control of your weight distribution and the ability to efficiently move another person’s body around. Here’s a few of the techniques I employ:
- Grip: Women love to be held firm, crushed in a man’s arms but they recoil from actual physical pain. Consider how to grab a woman’s wrist when you want to pin her hand to the mattress, do you use your fingers or palm? I grip her the same way I’d grip a man when applying a kimura or chicken wing. Study the diagrams. Often when on top I’ll hook my arm around her neck and pull her close but I’ll use the same grip as a rear-naked choke (but reversed).
- Pins: BJJ teaches you to hold people down. Women love being pinned to the mattress unable to move, its why they like being tied up. So remember her four points (two shoulders, two hips) are more solid pins than her wrists and ankles. I often press my forearm onto the front of her shoulder and grab a handful of hair at the base of her skull (same hand). This pins her upper torso, immobilises the head and she fucking loves it. Sometimes I press down on one side of the hip as if to begin a guard pass. All of this can be done without any pain to her. She feels roughed up and steamrolled but no acute pain. This is the physical expression of steel and velvet.
- Weight: MMA fighters hear common refrains such as how when on top you should seek to be as heavy as possible and close down space (bottom game is the reverse – don’t be flatbacked, get the weight off you, and create some distance). During sex you should be in full control of your weight at all times. Mix it up. When your tempo is hard and fast, crush her with your superior size. When you ease off, rise back and take off the pressure. Like riding a horse you have to listen to the feedback to know how hard you can push her. Ease up occassionaly so she doesn’t faint.
- Control: Put her body where you want it. When you’re standing, walk her backwards into a wall and push her against it. When you want to put her on the bed, pick her up and throw her there. When she’s lying on her back naked and you’re about to stick it in DO NOT go to her. Hook a hand under each thigh and pull her to you in one alarming motion. When you’ve finished slamming her missionary style, shrug her leg over a shoulder and turn her over. She should feel her body completely under your control at all times. This turns her on. If she rises up put your hand on her sternum and push her back down. Put your palm over her ear/temple area and push her face into the mattress (side-on, so as not to interfere with her breathing) and keep it there.
Lastly, I’ll finish with a few little power moves I like to do:
1. This can be done pre-sex or while standing up during sex. Grab her neck like a one-handed rapist choke (remember the grip! powerful but not painful, don’t actually squeeze) and straight-arm her back into a wall. Look powerfully into her eyes and, still pinning her to the wall, reach down with your other hand to pick up your whiskey glass and take a measured drink. Put the glass down, turn back towards her, and violently kiss.
2. In a standing hug / smooch do a few tender touches like running your fingertips through her hair at your temple, kissing the forehead. Then abruptly hoist her up in a fireman’s carry and do a slow helicopter spin. Deposit her on a nearby sofa or bed.
3. During a rough-hard tempo of the sex when she’s gasping and moaning take a handful of hair at the base of her skull and yank it so her face is looking up at yours. Do some variation of the following – pausing for her responses:
Look at me (hold dominant eye contact) Look at me. (slowly pull your cock almost completely out and leave it out for a few seconds, continuing to look at her. She’ll usually give an imploring look. In your own time, slam her really hard with one long thrust that moves her whole body halfway up the bed. Treat it like a punishment. Rinse and repeat a few times).
Look at me. You like my cock in you, don’t you. You like it hard and deep. You like it sliding in and out. Moving your body with my power. You like feeling my strength don’t you etc
Look at me, woman. Whose woman are you? You’re my woman, aren’t you. Say it. Say you’re my woman. (replace “woman” with “dirty bitch” if appropriate). Yes, you’re my woman. Your job is to please me. And when you please me, I reward you with my cock.
Once sex is finished always give her comfort. Lie on your back like a king and pull her into you until she’s nuzzling against your chest. Stay like that for ten minutes, absent-mindedly stroking her hair and softly running your fingers along her arms. This is where you get the double-whammy of oxytocin-bonding and a balance of soft dominance to offset the hard dominance of the rough sex.
That ought to give you dear readers a flavour of it.