It’s unlike me to respond directly to appeals from the unwashed masses but I suppose my last lay report was rather tantalising in omitting details of a pivotal moment – turning her firm no into a firmer yes on the sex date. There’s no magic here but I’ll transcribe the full text chat and add commentary:

Her: (16:39) Hey, I’m sorry I can’t do this. You are amazing, physical you have everything I like in one man but this is not what I am looking for, I tried to tell to myself I could do it, go there have some sex fun whatever and come back home like nothing happen but I can’t.

Deconstructing her girl-talk I read her mental state as follows:

• Major anti-slut defense / cold feet as the moment of truth approaches. It’s easy to fantasize about bravery from a distance but once you get up close your hindbrain kicks in. I’d worked this girl so her mind is flooded with mental images of hot sex and she’s naturally enjoyed daydreaming about fantasy sex. But once cold logistics take over, ASD rears its head. This was partly my own fault because I’d framed hard on the casual sex so as not to lead her on into expecting a relationship. If I’d gone full Dark Side with empty promises and sweet nothings this would’ve never come up.
• It’s a big ask to require a girl to come directly to your house on a second date, especially when you tell her you have to kick her out at 10pm. There’s a dividing line between enjoyable degradation by an aloof asshole and simply feeling cheap and desperate  Girls follow happy feelings and avoid bad feelings.
• Major IOIs. No worries at all about attraction nor escalation.
• She’s verbalising her inner conflict between arousal and self-image. If you read between the lines girls will tell you how to seduce them. She’s telling me she needs more comfort. Note she’s not telling me I need to promise a relationship – she wants to come but her ASD is holding her back. I see this as her presenting me with a problem she hopes I can solve for her, rather than a firm no. She wants me to overcome her objections.

With this in mind I reply

Me: (16:51) So that sexy underwear and fiery passion will go to waste tonight how disappointing!

Just a few words but consider what is conveyed:

• No uncertainty or self-doubt. I’m not fretting that she doesn’t like me enough or that I did something wrong.
• Do not ever beg for sex. Whining (“oh, but you promised”), wheedling (“Sweetie, but you are so sexy”), negotiating (“How about I cook a slap up meal”) and convincing (“This will be so much fun for you”) don’t work. I accept sex will not happen tonight because pushing hard will come off needy but I don’t accept her frame that sex won’t happen at all. Assume the sale.
• Focus on how we are losing out on a chance for something great. Seduction is a win-win sport so I focus on the (frustrated) mutually beneficial reward.
• Keep it positive. Although I express disappointment it’s done playfully rather than all butt-hurt.
• Make her feel good with the compliment / qualification. Comfort.
• Don’t directly engage in her objections. Her ASD isn’t a real principled objection so addressing it directly will just give it shape and make it harder to shift. Far better to deflect and let it wither. She’s got two basic emotions pulling in opposite directions: arousal to be fucked and anxiety that she’ll feel bad for having casual sex. I focus on heating up the former so it consumes the latter.

Her: (17:28) I’m sorry to disappoint you but im crazy i love sex but not like this. You turn me on a lot you have no idea i think you are a very interesting person but i can’t do it going out from work and go running to have sex with someone i just don’t know. Not so that crazy. Lol

Does this sound like a girl who doesn’t want sex? Of course not, she’s hoping I came overcome the ASD. She’s apologetic and complimentary, feeling bad about disappointing me and hoping I won’t disapprove. She’s still in my frame so I can put her on a compliance ladder to build back up to the booty call, though I don’t want a booty call frame. To deflect this I need to reframe it as a date and apply comfort. Plausible deniability. She knows full well that next time we meet it’s about the sex but if I can throw her hamster a bone, she can quieten him down enough to clear the way for the sex that she so wants.

Me: (17:37) I think you’ll be masturbating this evening 😀 I hope you have a good imagination, so you can vividly feel my hard dick as it slides into you… in and out… until you can’t control your screams 🙂

Her: (18:30) Is nothing that i don’t used to do in this last months ah ahahahah and i am good doing it

Me: (18:51) Imagine I’m in my suit, back from a hard day at the office…

Her: (1853) You are trouble for me…

Me: (18:54) So I put down my briefcase, I’m a bit distracted.. Tell me what you’ll be wearing

Her: (18:55) Just an apron and high heel (just today)

This is all about holding my frame, directing the conversation towards sex, and heating up her arousal. The compliance test is quite mild at first. She wants to be led to my bedroom and I’ve managed to deflect the entire ASD objection without ever directly engaging it. Make your frame a force of nature that cannot be resisted. After a few more sex texts I go to bed. Next afternoon I suggest a date and the rest is simple logistics. I know not to invite her directly to my house lest I revive the same objections so we meet for a drink and then I just lead her home with an air of inevitability.