I bang my first 29 year old Portuguese waitress

November 19, 2012

I’m bored on Saturday evening with nothing better to do than troll OKcupid. Makes a change from running my usual daygame. I send out about thirty messages all exactly the same, to see what happens. About six girls hook and I start a chat with some black American girl. It’s a car crash, she’s just so unfeminine and utterly unable to flirt. What do they teach girls over the Pond? Are they all so vile and unattractive? Everything is a challenge with her so I say no deal and to be frank I don’t think she cares in the slightest. In contrast, this Euro-girl is the very picture of shy femininity. Witness the entire exchange:

That’s classic textbook online game. Really, we wrote an online game book over a year ago and this is precisely the method. Just a shame it’ll never be released. But I digress……Her photos don’t mean much to me one way or the other. There’s a few full-face shots in daylight plus two full body, all with a camera timestamp from within two months. Ok, she’s not bad. Somewhere between 6 and 7 in the way you simply can’t tell online. She’ll do. I’m wavering on whether I can be bothered to go out to meet her but this little text exchange convinces me I’ll enjoy her company:

Her: Hey 8pm its fine i just need to find out where is that station but i will see that when i get home later. You are making me laugh. Are you always like this? “tomorrow. 6pm. Oxford circus.” “give yours”… it seem i am in the army ah ah ah OK ok yes Sir

Me: Good work, soldier

Her: Ah ah ah Miss soldier please

Me: What’s your name?

Her: [weird name] πŸ™‚ yours?

Me: I see. I shall have trouble pronouncing that. I’m Nick

Her: You can call me [less weird name] if you think is more easier for you….

Me: We shall see, young lady. Are you Spanish?

Her: No, I’m from Portugal. And you?

Me: Just so you know, we shall have no talk of Cristiano Ronaldo or cork

Her: Yes Sir. Anything else i should know?

Me: Yes. Dress cute, hair down, and laugh at my jokes. Then I’ll be nice to you

Her: So should I start laughing now? Well i am cute no matter what i have dressed. Have you thought what is cute for me can not be cute for you? I won’t laugh at your jokes if i won’t understand them u have to consider i am not from here and there are a lot of things that i just don’t get it, so i will ask if i don’t get it. Are you willing to explain? Or you just don’t have patience for that? If embarrass you is not sing dance or swear we going to ok because i am too shy to do those things in the first date. Just for you to know so you don’t be disappointed after I don’t use make up or high heels.

Me: Hmmmmm….. Portuguese girls…

Her: ??? Anything wrong with the Portuguese girls?

Me: My mum told me they are all sex maniacs

Her: Ah ah ah but there is any problem in look like a sweet little librarian but in private with you bf, husband, partner whatever being a sex maniac?

Me: I think I’m starting to like you, you cheeky Portuguese minx

Her: I see the things like this, for example i am too shy its difficult for me to look to a guy straight in his eyes (if i don’t know him) and i don’t like to go some place and everyone looks at me i feel embarrassed i like to go unnoticed but when i find someone with who i feel comfortable well that is a different story lol

Me: I should warn you that although my grandmother says I’m a wonderful boy, I can also be a hungry wolf

Her: For our grandmothers and mothers we are always an sweet angel lolololol but there comes a time when a hungry wolf come and change everything but they don’t need to know that πŸ™‚

Me: Grrrrrrrrr….

Her: Ah ah ah easy tiger ah ah ah

Can’t really ask for better than that. She’s coming virtually to my door, at my convenience, and very much pre-framed for casual sex. So I put on my woolly hat and jumper and take a chance. Internet dating always feels like filling out a ticket for Argos… chances are it’s nothing like it looked in the catalogue. Upon meeting my first feeling is relief – she’s not bad at all. High six. Cute face, lovely manner, slightly overweight but not English overweight. Time for the pub.

This sort of thing

Right from the off I know I have her. Sitting at the bar I begin to rev up the usual DHVs plus I’m riding a wave of outcome independence. Within five minutes she’s staring into my eyes with the “I can’t believe I’m so lucky” gaze. I play with her hair a bit, my latest pre-kiss kino gambit. It’s all childs play, more effort for me to recount here than it was to perform on the date itself. An hour in when I finally kiss her it’s like a dam breaking. She can’t stop nuzzling me, running her hands over my face, scratching my beard….

Next pub is just making out and verbally escalating. Because of her age there’s no way I’ll date her properly but she’s getting prettier and prettier as her femininity peaks. I’m dirty talking then accusing her of being a pervert trying to seduce me, then pull her in and tell her to grab my cock. The usual stuff. Then she tells me she’s on the rag. Hmmmmm. I am not a fan of that. I cool her off and little, do some comfort, and by 11pm send her home. She’s very much uninhibited with her texts the next day so we arrange to meet for sex. Pretty blatant stuff until 2 hours before, I get this:

Hey, I’m sorry I can’t do this. You are amazing, physical you have everything I like in one man but this is not what I’m looking for. I tried to tell to myself I could do it, go there have some sex fun whatever and come back home like nothing happen but I can’t.

A firm no, you’d think? A few reframes later and we meet for a drink. I walk her back to my place for the second drink and close the deal. +1, new flag.


  1. Reframes? Please.

  2. You mean you wouldn’t drink the blood?

    I can just picture Roosh as a little devil on your shoulder, whispering “I’ll drink the blood!” in your ear.

  3. I actually enjoyed reading one of your conversations for once. She sounds cute.

    I wonder how much cock she’s had in her. I rarely talk to girls approaching 30 but when I do I try to remain cognitively dissonant about that.

  4. It really seems like once you meet a girl from online game, it’s always super easy to get them into the sack.

    Too bad they’re rarely anything better than high-6’s. I guess if they were, life would just be too easy.

  5. Great post. I’ve been incorporating and adapting or localizing your ideas and they’ve been hugely successful. I’ve banged 4 girls I met off OK Cupid using a very similar opening. Apart from one 5 who gave a great blow job, the other 3 have been 7+.

    I’ve had one not so successful experience but I think it’s because of my own self-limits—she’s a girl in my social circle and I’ve been negging and flirting with her regularly but because of the fact we’re in a social circle any wrong-move or move too fast would make me seem douchey.

    Now the girl is giving me IOI’s but I play it very cool. Attentive but not needy. Negging, then building rapport. Tougher with social-circle girls. Easier with OK Cupid girls.

  6. I’m laughing (and yet disgusted) at the “I’ll drink the blood.”

    The idea of screwing a chick on the rag is a complete turnoff. My ex-wife used to try to emasculate and shame me for not wanting to sleep with her during her period.

    This is a great post. It’s helpful to see some good online stuff in action.

  7. >Hey, I’m sorry I can’t do this. You are amazing, physical you have everything I like in one man but this is not what I’m looking for. I tried to tell to myself I could do it, go there have some sex fun whatever and come back home like nothing happen but I can’t.

    I get this sort of thing quite a lot from girls. They’re interested in me sexually but can sense I have little interest in being her long term monogamous boyfriend, and so they through out this objection. I’m never really able to deal with it well so I’d love it if you could share your reframes, and how and why they work.


  8. Krauser you just can’t handle those smart, independent, sarcastic American girls. They are just too much woman for you. You have traveled a lot but they have eaten the best sushi ever, so how can your experiences compare.

    You can just feel the femininity flowing from this one.

  9. Everything is textbook but the reframes are important – that’s where the improvisation, the art, kicks in. Why’d you leave it out?

  10. girls on the rag, you’ve done it before Nick…zagreb πŸ˜‰

  11. Nov 24, 2012 – 1:13pm
    You look totally bat-shit crazy. Must be the wild eyes. Very cute and feminine. Weirdo.
    Sent to [redacted]

    Nov 24, 2012 – 2:14pm
    Thanks !!! ;-)Sent from the OkCupid app
    Report this

    Nov 24, 2012 – 2:18pm
    Its the quiet ones my mum warned me about, looks like sweet little librarians, but sex maniacs in private.

    Your hair is nice, it looks shiny and soft. I imagine you would look nice in an English tea shop, drinking a proper English tea from a proper English tea pot.

    Nov 24, 2012 – 2:30pm
    Hahaha!! U’re good!! I’m really like that.. Don’t provoke me .. Lol!! Sent from the OkCupid app
    Report this

    Nov 24, 2012 – 2:31pm
    If you dress pretty and laugh at my jokes, you can have a tea.

    But dont embarrass me. These tea shop staff can be strick.

    Nov 24, 2012 – 2:34pm
    Won’t embarrass u that’s for sure.. πŸ™‚
    Anyway whats ur origin ?Sent from the OkCupid app
    Report this

    Nov 24, 2012 – 2:38pm

    I’m from Ireland, but I’ve spent the last 10 years traveling and working around the world. Are you English?

    Nov 24, 2012 – 2:47pm
    Apparently I’m Asian I’m from Philippines! .. but I have an Irish name – joyce πŸ™‚ I’m a nurse here.. R u in town?Sent from the OkCupid app
    Report this

    Nov 24, 2012 – 2:59pm
    I thought I was going to have trouble pronouncing your name. Nice. I’m XXXXXX

    I’m in Brussels. Lets meet tonight, but you have to promise not to take advantage of me.

    Nov 24, 2012 – 4:07pm
    Haha! Sure..don’t worry I’m a good girl .. I won’t take advantage of an Irish hottie!
    Where do u want to meet?:)

    game over, thank K. will report back with details of how tonight goes!

  12. I am seeing you doing textgame a lot nowadays. Didnt you write you were back at work? I was wondering. I find it hard to find the time for daygaming when working fulltime (especially switching between “work” and “fun”). How do you manage that? Or is that one of the reasons why we read so much online game from you?

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