*Video coming later, as I am now on a Caribbean beach and all my threesome footage is on a hard drive in London*

As much as it pains me to admit it, JJ has to take most of the credit for making this happen. He opened the set in Oslo, he ran the facebook chat on Girl A (the make-up artist) to get her keen to meet us on her London trip, and then by banging her the first night he pretty much had the set locked down. So as I woke up at noon on Saturday morning (New Year’s Eve) with an un-fucked Norwegian model in my bed, I took stock of the situation:

• I’m in bed with a girl I don’t really give a shit about but she is fairly hot. She’s also cranky and in her own world so I’m just not fussed to try and solve her puzzle.
• She thinks I’m a cool, funny, sexually aggressive douchebag who also has a warm side. For whatever reason, she put the brakes on the sex last night.
• JJ is waking up with a hot brunette next door to me who seems like a much nicer person and had been actively rapport-seeking with me on the occasions she didn’t have her tongue down JJ’s throat. No question she fancies me, but she likes JJ more.
• JJ has his close so now he’ll be up to mischief.

The girls hang around till mid-afternoon until Dragon comes back. I bump into Alex and thank him for doing such good winging the night before when he drops a bomb – he fucked Dragon. Good grief! That really is taking one for the team. Not much happens the rest of the day until I head out into Soho to meet a friend for a few beers and by about 11pm we roll into Chateau RSG for our big party. There’s loads of randomers milling around who I don’t know making it look like a reality-TV house for Jersey Shore or The Only Way Is Essex. They are all having fun but not my crowd, to put it mildly. We sit drinking in the cinema room for a while and now the Norwegians are back for seconds, all dolled-up. At some point between going to bed last night and seeing them again just before midnight I’d managed to lose all interest in Model. Maybe I was smarting from the LMR or maybe something else but I pretty much ignored her the next three hours to talk to my friends. Before long the distinguished gents of the house retire upstairs to the Hemingway Suite bringing our girls with us. It’s a nice low-key vibe with whiskey and cigars. I’m not trying to get laid at all. As far as I’m concerned I’ve done my job winging JJ.

Gradually we get shitfaced drunk.

Some of the hangers-on come upstairs to squeeze their way in but we give them fairly short shrift when they misbehave. I send one guy out for sitting on a fragile drinks rack. JJ has his arm around Becks chatting when some gay black dude starts giving him the eye and caressing his hand – takes him a while to realise what’s going on. It’s all normal drinking. Dragon spends an hour spouting incessant drivel into my ear. I’ve got Model sitting next to me on the sofa now that we are finally chatting and Dragon is leaning over her to spout her rubbish. After a while Model gets up and sits in her own world at the other side of the room while Dragon tries to sidle up next to me (I tell her to keep her distance and she gets all butthurt).

I see JJ watching Model, a wistful look in his eye. Its the look of love. I do believe he’s falling for her entitled bullshit.

Downstairs the party is getting out of control with all the drunken fools letting off fire extinguishers and spilling drinks anywhere. It’s just raucous fun but a disrespectful way to treat someone’s house. Finally one angry drunk guy smashes some glasses. There’s no responsible adults downstairs so Elmo sticks his head around the Hemingway door and asks me to sort it out. I call JJ and him for backup then eject this guy. He’s a typically modern puffter – all gym muscles, diet, couiffured hair, and absence of all masculinity. He takes his telling with a sullen look but doesn’t kick up a fuss. JJ is well boozy now so he elbows his way past me to be centre-stage in the ejection process, clearly spoiling for a fight. As the guy leaves he says something indistnguishable that maybe – if you try hard enough – you could twist into him calling JJ a cunt. So JJ kicks off and we have to hold him back.

By now everything is winding down. Dragon has fallen asleep on the floor after spouting lies about Alex – she preposterously claims that he took advantage of her the night before. Yes, a fat little 38-yr old single mom. I know Alex and I saw how desperate she was for sex so I know she’s full of shit. It sours my mood further against these girls. Only Girl A has not earned my ire. About an hour earlier Model tried to embarrass me in front of the whole suite by twisting something I’d told her. It was petty behaviour. Jimmy surreptitiously sends me a text: “We should be thinking about the foursome”

A note about JJ. He has the best calibration I’ve ever seen. He has this finely-tuned radar for knowing what a girl is thinking, what she’s up for, and when to make the move. He can’t even explain it properly but I’ve seen it many times. So when he sends that text I know its not merely aspirational thinking. I perk up. It’s his set, he knows what he’s doing, so I just follow his lead. I realise that if it’s on a plate I will happily fuck either girl.

The two of us are sitting on a sofa with Girl A stretched over us. Model is sitting on the floor with her back to us talking to someone else, I forget who. JJ starts verbally escalating Girl A while I physically escalate it. She giggle through all of it. Before long I’m rubbing her up. It’s on. JJ tells her to straddle him and Model looks over and realises what’s happening. It’s simply too much for her to resist. Whatever reservations she might have had about sex last night are subsumed by the thought of an orgy. She walks over and straddles me, I pull her tits out and then we are pawing at both girls. It only takes a minute or two for everyone to understand there’s 4-way consent so then we decamp to JJ’s room.

The mood is very different to the prior night. On the Friday I was the warm end of the pool, creating most of the fun, tooling the girls, and full of exhuberance. It was easy because we had a clear division of labour:

JJ = escalate and close Girl A. Krauser = build attraction with Model

But now it was all convoluted. JJ clearly wanted to fuck Model and now Girl A was showing more interest in me than him. There was a swap going on, yet we wanted dual threesomes (who ever really wants a second man in the room?). I’ll admit I was out of my depth. My only previous threesome had been far more structured where I was clearly top dog. Wing rules dictated I play second fiddle to JJ so I became quite subdued for a while. He knew what he was doing. He told the girls to make out and then took it from there. Throughout it all the vibe was fun, not sexy. We were all laughing the whole time. Once JJ and I joined in with the girls they made their choice clear – Girl A peeled off to me and signalled Model she could take JJ. We were all involved but the shift was perceptible.

I banged Girl A first, while JJ was necking on with Model next to me, and then he left the room so I could do Model and then fully threesome them. After an hour or so, by which time JJ was back in the room sipping his tea in an armchair, I turned the girls over to him and went to bed. A great night. There was more of the same the next day then they went home.

Learning points – The escalation worked like this:

• JJ runs the set in Oslo as normal, gets his target into him, takes contact details, maintains set over facebook until a physical meet is possible
• JJ closes target while I get other girl into me. At this point it’s just a normal set with no reason to suppose group sex
• When JJ closes his girl, a few things become clear. She’s locked down having had and enjoyed the sex so he tests the waters with a few statements to see how dirty she is and what she wants. She answers in ways suggesting she’s well into her sex games.
• Back in the party JJ confirms target also likes me and I escalate her. If nothing else there’s a hand-over of targets
• The crucial point is turning a handover into an orgy. We naturalise the idea, make the vibe playful and crazy, and then just lead, lead, lead
• Start the girls off kissing each other to get them heated up
• We give approval from “outside” then gradually help them with each other, touching them
• Finally the girls are so horny they pull us in and we are having two side-by-side couplings
• Then at last, one man leaves and the other man takes both girls

Pretty smooth sailing in the end.